


Because I love you

by delank_89



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Aidan is a builder, Aidan is protective, Alcohol Abuse, Blow Jobs, Brief mention of past verbal abuse, Dean is a waiter, Dean is shy, Dubious Consent, Hurt/Comfort, Luke is a jerk, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sexual Content, non-consensual situations, offensive language, there's some violence too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 161,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1602401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delank_89/pseuds/delank_89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aidan is Luke's best friend and has vowed to stand by his friend no matter what, even though he knows what a jerk his friend can be. That  changes though, when Luke starts dating Dean, sweet, innocent and shy Dean, for Aidan would never forgive himself if he let Luke treat Dean  the way he usualy treats his love conquests.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Kink meme promt fill: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/6124.html?thread=20906476#t20906476
> 
> Unbeta'd all mistakes are mine.  
> Again, I'm new to writing, I didn't even know I liked it till I started and now I love it and only hope to get better in time!  
> English is not my language, so sorry for any mistakes.  
> And this is my first multi chaptered story so I'm kind of nervous about it, but not enought not to try.  
> Constructive criticism is more than welcome.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

With a last quick glance at his reflection in the mirror, Aidan is done getting ready to go out, which for him, is only about putting on a clean button down shirt and brushing his teeth. He doesn’t even bother to try and tame his wild curls. 

He’s going with his friends to the pub tonight, for drinks, lots of them; and maybe even get some. Well, most likely Luke will get some, he thinks, for Aidan prefers to have a good time with his friends, talking and laughing and just being able to relax and forget about the stress of the week.

It became a routine for them ever since Aidan’s been legally able to drink, to go out on Saturday nights and just have fun. They’ve been friends for longer than that, he and Luke. They were neighbors when they were kids, went to the same high school and now, they are living together. He loves Luke, he’s like a brother to him, even though he doesn’t approve of many things Luke does, he will always stand by his friend, no matter what.

A sharp knock to the bathroom door interrupts his thoughts.

“Hurry the fuck up Aidan, I have to get ready too, you know,” Luke yells from outside the door.

“Who is it?” Aidan teases.

“Quit the crap Aidan, open the door.”

Aidan opens the door and steps outside.

“All yours,” he says and moves aside to let him pass, which he does hurriedly.

It’s still twenty minutes before Jed comes by to pick them up, so he slumps down on the couch and watches some TV to wait for him. About half an hour later, he hears the familiar engine pull over his drive way followed by a loud horn. He gets up, turns the TV off and grabs his leather jacket and keys.

“Hey Luke, Jed’s here,” he calls out to Luke who’s probably still getting ready.

“Just a second,” Luke calls back from the bathroom.

“C’mon hurry up will you? You’ll never be able to look as handsome as me, you might as well give up,” Aidan teases.

“At least let me try,” Luke replays as he comes out of the bathroom wearing a fake hurt look on his face as he walks down the hallway. 

“How do I look?” he asks and posses ridiculously.

“Acceptable. Let’s go,” Aidan says and tosses Luke his own leather jacket. 

\----------------------  
The pub is only a few minutes ride, so they get there fast. They enter the building and since it’s fairly early it doesn’t take them much time to find a table. The sit down and order some beers.

“So who else is coming?” asks Aidan and takes a small sip from his beer. There’s plenty of time for drinking tonight.

“Uhm, I told Adam and told him to spread the word so, no idea,” Jed replays and takes a long gulp of water.

They continue drinking some more and about half an hour later, Adam shows up with Stephen and Jimmy, they order a new round of beers and soon, they are all talking and laughing and drinking like there’s no tomorrow. 

A couple of hours later, Aidan and Adam are engulfed in a meaningless conversation and talking very loudly, so they can hear each other over the loud music. He spared a glance around the table and realizes he hasn’t seen Luke in a while. 

“Have you seen Luke?” He asks anyone who might know the answer.

“I think he went for a smoke,” Stephen answers looking pretty drunk already.

“Oh great, I’ll go see if I find him.” He takes his cigarettes and heads outside, which becomes a struggle, for in the passing hour, the pub has flooded with people.  
It takes him a few minutes but he makes it outside mainly unscathed. It’s very cold outside so he wraps his jacket firmly around his body. He feels the effect of the beer a little bit more out here in the open, but he’s good he decides. Not drunk at all. 

He looks around and there’s quite a few people smoking and talking but there’s no sign of Luke. 

_He probably found some company by now _, Aidan thinks. He lights up a cigarette and starts smoking, every few minutes glancing here and there to see if he catches a sight of his friend. No such luck.__

He puts out his cigarette, stepping on it with his boot and heads back inside. He decides to go and take a piss before he goes back to their table so he heads for the toilet instead.  
Entering the bathroom he heads straight for the urinals to relive his bladder. When he’s done, he washes his hands and dries them with a paper towel while he inspects himself in the mirror. His eyes are a little red but at least he doesn’t look as drunk as Stephen.

Some movement in the reflection catches his eyes so he looks casually over his shoulder to look at the source; and there in one corner of the bathroom, opposite the mirror, there’s a couple going at it. He would normally blush and feel uncomfortable, but the booze in his system prevents him from feeling embarrassed. He’s about to look away when he catches a familiar jacket and hairstyle. _Luke? _, Aidan thinks and in fact it’s his friend there in the corner.__

That’s where Luke's been all along, getting busy with some cute little blond from what he was able to see.

_I guess there will be three of us going home tonight he thinks smirking _, he turns around and leaves the bathroom.__

He reaches the table after a few minutes of more struggling over the crowd and can’t help but laugh out loud at Stephen, who is sleeping with his head on the table. 

“Is he ok?” He asks. 

“Yeah, he just lost a drinking game against an Irish man,” Jimmy says proud of himself.

“At least take the plate off from under his face, give the man some dignity,” Aidan says in a teasing tone. No one makes to remove the plate. 

“Did you find Luke?” Adam asks and from his mumbling he too seems to be getting drunk.

“Ah, yes I found him; he’s getting busy in the toilets with some blond,” he says smiling and offers to go for some more beer receiving a chorus of approvals.

It takes a while to get the attention of the bartender, who is busy receiving orders from tons of people. Several minutes later, he gets his beers anyways and heads back to their table. To his surprise, Luke is already back from the bathroom and brought his kissing buddy along and they are sitting at the table side by side and Luke has an arm around him.

“Aidan!” Luke cheers loudly when he spots him.

“Luke, we thought we’d lost you forever,” he teases and looks for his chair, which apparently, has been occupied by the blond. Luke notices his predicament, thankfully, for there are no more free chairs around.

“You’re in his chair,” Luke tells the blond, who looks up at him and apologizes.

“Oh, sorry” the blond says in a shy, quiet voice and makes to stand but Luke grabs him by the waist and sits him in his lap. If Aidan thinks this bold gesture bothered the blond, he keeps it to himself. 

“There you go Aidan,” says Luke.

Aidan wants to say something, anything, maybe something like: “Don’t worry, I can find another chair” or”You can have my chair, I’ll just stand here and admire you,” but nothing comes out, so he just sits quietly and smiles.

_The blond is fuckin’ gorgeous _, he thinks and spares a quick glance to his right, where said blond is sitting on Luke’s lap, looking a bit self conscious it seems, and takes a deep breath to compose himself taking his glass now filled to the brim with beer, courtesy of Jed, and gulps it down.__

After that glass is finished, he comes a little to his senses and he is himself again, so he asks.  
“So, who’s your friend, Luke,” his idiotic self apparently. Aidan wants to kick himself, he should have asked the blond directly, not Luke.

“Oh, right. Aidan this is…” Luke says slowly and Aidan thinks Luke probably forgot the blonds name already.

“Dean,” the blond says looking at him shyly and smiles.

_A cute name for a cute face _, Aidan thinks.__

“Aidan,” he replays stupidly. He already knows, he tells himself. He stretches his hand and Dean takes it and they shake hands for the first time. His hand is so small and cute, and soft, Aidan thinks and can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I know. Luke told me you are his best friend. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Dean says sweetly. He even has an adorable accent for crying out loud. 

“Ah, yes, best friends and the pleasure is all mine,” he says truthfully, for it IS a pleasure to meet Dean. 

They continue talking to each other. He finds out that Dean is from New Zealand, hence the accent, and moved to London about a month ago and he misses his country terribly so. Also he finds out that Dean, doesn’t have much of a family to speak of, or friends for that matter, just a couple he misses badly, which is hard to swallow, for Aidan thinks Dean is the most amazing person in the whole world by now. ‘How can he have so little people in his life?’ he wonders. He’s been working as a waiter for almost a week at some café, two blokes from here and was coaxed to come for a drink by his new colleagues, who have probably left by now. Even though the money is not that great at the café, Dean says, it’s enough to afford a small place to live, a few blocks from the pub too. Also, Dean’s got a passion for photography, but sadly, had to sell his camera to afford the trip so he’s been saving to buy a new one. Also, he likes to paint as a hobby and had a dream to study acting which he didn’t pursue for he was too shy to do it. This saddened Aidan for he himself had that same dream and didn’t pursue it either, opting for construction instead. Well, that’s something they both have in common.  
Aidan is fascinated by the kiwi. 

While they were talking, Aidan had a better chance to admire his beautiful features. Golden messy curls of wild hair, sky blue eyes, a little sleepy, which only added up to his  
adorableness; a long and masculine nose that wrinkles when he laughs, rosy, plump and soft looking lips, that Aidan can only imagine how it would feel to kiss, and a smile so beautiful it hurt to watch, and even though Dean has masculine features, he manages to look cute and adorable and Aidan can’t help but compare him to a puppy, in his mind. 

Aidan wants to continue talking with Dean, but Luke has other plans apparently, for he's got bored of the conversation he was holding with the guys and starts kissing Dean’s neck and caresses his thighs. 

Dean looks a little embarrassed by Luke’s ministrations but says nothing and looks down at his now, empty glass. 

“Here, drink some more,” Luke says when he notices the empty glass and refills it. Dean thanks him and quietly drinks it.

More time passes and Aidan wants to punch Luke. The way he’s groping and kissing Dean, makes him want to grab him and beat him until he passes out, which he doesn’t do obviously. It’s just; he’s a little bit jealous of Luke. Ok, he’s incredibly jealous. This is unusual to him, for he’s never felt that way towards his friend, sure he’s wanted to punch him on numerous occasions for his stupid antics, but never before has he been jealous of Luke because of one of his many passing partners.

Aidan tries to distract himself and turns to Adam, who is looking at him with a knowing smirk on his stupid, but still cute face. _Fuck, Adam and his sixth sense _, Aidan thinks and throws a stern look towards Adam, daring him to say anything. He doesn’t thankfully so he starts to talk to him, Jed and Jimmy about something else trying hard to ignore the kissing couple sitting beside him and manages to do so, thankfully.__

Time passes by and more drinks are brought. Stephen has woken up by now and looks to have sobered up a great deal so he’s also taking part in the conversation.

“C’mon, drink it all.” Moments later he hears Luke say and looks to his right. He sees Luke forcing a drink down Dean’s throat, who is struggling to drink it as fast as he can without choking, trying to hold Luke’s hand to slow the fast flow but failing.

Now he really wants to punch him.

“Slow down Luke, you’re gonna make him drown,” Aidan says in an angrier tone than he intended.

“He’s fine, right Dean,” Luke asks Dean nonchalantly, who surprisingly, drank the whole glass without choking and a trail of beer seemed to have escaped the glass for he is drying his face with the sleeve of sweater.

He doesn’t know Dean but from what he can see, he looks on the way of getting spectacularly drunk. He imagines Luke has been giving him more than he’s used to drink and he’s pretty sure if it weren’t for the arm Luke has wrapped possessively around Dean’s waist, he would be on the floor by now. He wants to say something more but holds his tongue.  
Luke grabs Dean’s face and kisses him hungrily and Dean, to Aidan’s surprise, responds with the same intensity. Aidan wants to look away, he really does, but he just can’t. The way Dean is kissing Luke, letting out here and there small moans of pleasure, is just so alluring his mind goes blank. He wouldn’t have imagined the blond was capable of such bold display in public with his shy nature, but then again, he looked pretty drunk just moments ago so he blames the alcohol in Dean’s small body. 

Luke maneuvers a stumbling and giggling Dean into a standing position and then brings him back down to his lap but this time; Dean is straddling Luke, facing him. They start kissing again.

Aidan looks away this time but he can clearly see from the corner of his eye, how Luke is moving Dean obscenely over his crotch. He looks up at the others but thankfully they are too drunk to see this as unusual, but they still whistle and leer at the couple laughing and cheering. 

Abruptly, Dean breaks the kiss and makes to stand but Luke prevents him from doing so wrapping an arm firmly around the thin waist. 

“Where do you think you’re going, little one,” he asks and Dean looks a little self conscious of his position on Luke’s lap. 

“I want to go to the bathroom,” Dean says.

“I’ll take him. Gotta go pee too anyways,” Aidan says, before he is able to stop himself and stands up, holding a hand out for Dean to take. To his relief, Luke looks grateful instead of annoyed like he thought he would.

Dean looks up at him and smiles. He takes the offered hand and not without stumbling a little, he gets off Luke’s lap and stands on unsteady legs. They make it through the crowd with Aidan holding Dean up by his waist and arm. He notices how short Dean is standing beside him and a warm feeling runs through his body. _How fucking cute ___

Boy is he in trouble.


	2. Chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two. It took longer than I expected to post it, I had some problems with HTML...I'm such an amateur.  
> Hope you enjoy!

They finally make it to the bathroom and thankfully, it’s almost empty so he guides Dean to the urinals. 

“Do you need any help standing there?” Aidan asks.

“I’m fine, I can pee on my own, thank you,” Dean says drunkenly, smiling at him through the mirror and reaches down open his fly but stumbles a little; Aidan is there immediately holding him. It would be just terrible if Dean fell and cracked that gorgeous head of his in the urinal, maybe a bit funny, but still terrible. 

Dean spreads his legs a little so he can stand a little more steady and not fall to the sides but he can still easily fall forward or backwards so Aidan stands behind him, far enough to allow Dean his privacy, and close enough should Dean fall, he would be able to hold him fast.

This situation is very weird, Aidan thinks. He is in the toilets, helping a man he barely knows, who is a fierce candidate to break his heart, to pee, and now he is listening to said man peeing.

When Dean finishes, he tuck himself in. Aidan has been looking at the ceiling the whole time, so he startles a little when a light weight falls against his chest and it is obvious who, while trying to zip his fly, fell back against him. The brunette pushes him off him gently and steadies him, making sure he stays vertically. Dean giggles and turns around to look at him.

“Thank you Aidan for bringing me to the toilets, I couldn’t hold it any longer,” he says sweetly and standing on his toes kisses Aidan on the lips and as he falls backwards he stumbles and Aidan has to catch him around the waist, keeping him flush against his chest. 

“Sorry, I’ve never…. been this drunk before,” says Dean hiccupping and smiling like it’s funny and Aidan smiles wryly. 

“Yes. You are going to get a hell of a hangover tomorrow,” Aidan says. He’s not sure what to think of that quick kiss. The most probable reason is that Dean intended to kiss him  
on the cheek but didn’t calculate the distance in his drunkenness, or it simply the alcohol made him do things he wouldn’t normally do; either way, the kiss was a mistake, and even though it was just for a second, the feeling of those soft lips against his own, was heavenly.

He inspects Dean now that he is closer, for Aidan still keeps him flush against his chest and he looks wasted. His eyes are red and there’s a disoriented look on them.

“You should go home, I can call a cab for you, or I could walk you home if you want.” 

“What? No, I don’t wanna go and be alone in my apartment. I’m having a great time with you. I like Luke a lot and Aidan, I mean you. You are Aidan; I like you a lot too. Besides, Luke said I could go home with him tonight and you live with him, so I guess I will come home with you too,” Dean says, tripping on words but manages to make some sense.

Aidan definitely wants to punch Luke in the nuts. Not only was Luke responsible for Dean’s drunkenness, but he’d also convinced Dean it would be a good idea to let Luke take him home and fuck him senseless, which he’s obviously planning to do. But on second thought, it might not be a good idea to let Dean go home alone where he could choke in his own vomit and die.

They would have to take Dean with them and hopefully, Aidan would be able to keep Luke from Dean. _Yeah right_.

The door opens and a man walks in, looking twice as pissed as Dean. He stares at them both but his eyes linger on the blond.

“Is he with you?” the man asks Aidan, leering at Dean; his stare fixed in the blonds’ ass.

“Yes he’s with me, so you better back off,” he says angrily. _Where did that come from_?

Aidan curses out loud when he notices Dean’s pants have slid down a little for he hadn’t been able to properly close them earlier, apparently. He gently pushes the now giggling Dean against a wall and reaches down for Dean’s pants, pulls them up and zips them, securing them with the belt; he then grabs the blonds’ arm and guides him out of the bathroom and towards their table, keeping the kiwi close for in his drunken state, he is easy prey for unmoral drunken men’s groping hands.

Aidan feels this weird protective feeling towards the kiwi which is ridiculous for Dean is a grown man capable of looking after himself, but still, he can’t shake the feeling. Well, at least now he sure needs it. Who knows what could happen to Dean were he alone in his current state in this pub, he thinks as they finally reach the table.

“Hell guys, I thought you had run off together,” Luke jokes as they reach the table. 

_Why didn’t he think of that_? Aidan thinks bitterly.

Luke stands up and comes closer; he takes Dean’s arm and leads him away from Aidan’s embrace and into his own and the kissing and groping starts again. _Great_ , he thinks and sits heavily back in his chair. 

Aidan wants to go home by now and by the looks of it; some of his friends have had more than enough to drink, so he decides to call it a night, at least for himself. Thankfully, the others agree. 

Jed, their designated driver takes them home; the three of them. Jimmy takes the rest, for even though he drank a lot, it’s impossible for that man to get wasted.

The way home is awful, for Aidan has to listen to the two lovebirds in the back, kissing and moaning, at least until he turns the music volume up.

“Something bothering you Aid?” Jed asks smirking knowingly, but Aidan plays dumb and answers no.

They get home a few minutes later and Aidan thanks Jed, says goodbye to him and heads home as quickly as he can, leaving the couple in the car. 

When he enters the house, he goes straight to the bathroom, relieves himself, for he forgot to do so when he was in the pub’s restroom with Dean. Brushes his teeth and makes to go to his room as fast as he can so he doesn’t have to see them kissing again. No such luck thought for Luke and Dean are in the middle of the living room doing just that. Luke’s  
got an arm around Dean’s waist while he hungrily devours the blonds’ mouth. 

“Want another drink cutie?” Luke asks Dean and before the blond has a change to answer Aidan interferes. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea Luke, he’s got more than enough for one night, he can barely walk on his own.”

“Nonsense, he’s fine and he definitely wants another drink, don’t you?” Luke says and he looks like he want to say Dean’s name but apparently he has forgotten again.  
Dean looks a little bit more sober than he did at the pub, but still drunk enough, and he looks like he doesn’t know the answer to Luke’s simple question and is waiting for someone to answer for him.

“Dean, I don’t think you should drink more,” Aidan says, firmly trying to state that he does remember Dean’s name, unlike Luke.

“What’s up with you Aid? Why are you acting like an old lady? It’s never bothered you before how much alcohol I give to my guests.” Aidan wants to slap himself. Luke is right; he’s never, ever interfered in Luke’s affairs before, even less in the amounts of alcohol Luke gives them to drink.  
Aidan doesn’t answer, for he doesn’t really know what to answer to that, so he says the worst possible thing he could say at the moment, in Dean’s presence. “If he throws up, you are cleaning up.”

The look in Dean’s face is not the worst he expected, but it’s still bad enough. The blond looks down to his feet ashamed of himself and in a low voice says, “I’ll try not to be sick and I’ll clean up if I am.” 

“No, I’m sorry, you don’t have to, I mean, I hope you don’t get sick, but if you do, it won’t be your fault.”

_What is wrong with me_?

“Whatever. Come cutie, I’ll show you to my room; I’ve got some vodka in there,” Luke says and goes to his room at the end of the hallway in search of said bottle. 

_What on earth is Luke thinking, giving him vodka? He’ll be lucky if Dean doesn’t get intoxicate_ , he thinks. Ok, he might be sounding a little bit like an old lady.  
Aidan looks at Dean the whole time and seems to have forgotten about the whole throwing up cleaning thing, for he is looking back at him with a smile on his face. 

“Thank you for letting me stay here Aidan, I think you’re a relay…really nice person,” he says struggling with the words and walks towards him, stumbling and swaying on his feet and looking at him. When he’s a few paces away from Aidan he reaches out with one hand and puts it in Aidan shoulder for support. He leans closer.

“I’m not that drunk, you know. I’m fine, and I can drink more if Luke wants me to drink some more. I never drink this much, but tonight, I want to,” the blond says.

“If you want to drink more, drink more. It’s not my problem,” Aidan says coldly and moves rapidly away from Dean’s warm hand in his shoulder and makes for his room, and the sudden lack of support makes Dean fall to floor, hard. He hears the thud and turns around to see the blond sprawled on the floor, a confused look on his face. 

“Jesus, Dean, I’m sorry,” he says and hurries to the blonds’ side to help him up.

“I’m fine. I think I just tripped,” says Dean laughing.

Aidan looks for any damage, but he’s fine apparently, at least he doesn’t feel the pain, not right now. It might hurt tomorrow though. 

Aidan guides Dean, who has stopped laughing by now, to the couch and makes him sit down. He turns to the hallway and sees Luke standing there; he had seen Dean fall and was now laughing stupidly. 

“Wow Aidan, what’s gotten into you tonight? First, you insult my guest and then you make him fall to the floor. Don’t you like Dean?” Luke teases and the question makes Dean look up at him with a slightly hurt expression on his face. Aidan doesn’t say anything. He turns around and goes to his room, closing the door behind him. With luck, the door will prevent any noise from reaching his ears, but he knows it’s not possible. _This is going to be a long night_ , he thinks and lies down on his mess of a bed and covers his head with his pillow. He notices how the room starts to spin a little. Apparently, the alcohol affected him more than he originally thought. 

It has been a crazy night, at least for him. Nothing unusual really, just the fact that he fancies his best friend’s new love conquer, and worse of all, he acted like a jerk towards him on certain occasions and even provoked him a pretty hard fall. 

He stopped his train of thought when he heard a noise coming from the next room, Luke’s room. It sounded like shoes been thrown at the floor and some fumbling of clothing, a bed creaking and very loud moans, Dean’s moans. 

_Awesome, I’m going to spend the night describing in my head every sex act that happens in Luke’s room_ , he thinks bitterly. He’s not sure why he even cares so much; it must be the alcohol, but of one thing he is sure, he’ not going to sleep in this room tonight.

He gets thirsty suddenly so he gets up from his nest of blankets and heads for the door. He walks silently down the hallway, looking around their living room and everything looks normal, but there’s something different, something different in the air. Is Dean’s presence so strong? Or it’s just that Aidan’s whole life has changed since tonight because of him?  
He doesn’t want to think about it, about Dean and Luke having sex in the room at the end of the hallway, he just wants to get something to get a drink, which conveniently turns  
out to be vodka, and maybe, get drunk enough to drown the unwanted noises.

He decides to stay in the living room and watch some TV, loud TV, and pour himself a glass of vodka.

He’s there sitting for about an hour, zapping through the channels, going through his third glass, when he hears a noise coming from Luke’s bedroom; a door opening fast and the sound of footsteps coming hurriedly down the hallway. 

Aidan sits there for a few seconds processing what he saw; Dean stumbling as fast as he possibly can, naked as the day he was born, opens the bathroom door and enters hurriedly. 

The sound of retching is enough evidence of what’s going on in that bathroom.

He gets up reluctantly after some minutes of waiting for Luke to appear, but who is he kidding, Luke probably doesn’t give a shit, so he heads for the bathroom. There, kneeling on the floor and almost hugging the toilet, is a very naked Dean, retching pathetically. 

_What an amazing ass_ , Aidan thinks dejectedly as he walks to his bedroom and grabs a blanket from the pile in his chair then goes back to the bathroom. He leans closer to Dean who is dry heaving by now and there are tears in his puffy red eyes.

Aidan wraps the soft blanket around the blond, covering his nakedness and protecting him from the cold, kneels down beside him and brushes back golden strands, darker now and wet from sweating, gently.

“I’m sorry, I got sick,” Dean says in a raspy and sad voice. 

“Don’t worry, Dean. This is very normal, after the amount of alcohol you drank. I just hope Luke didn’t give you more,” Aidan says, trying to reassure Dean he’s not doing  
something bad.

“Are you mad?” Dean asks shyly.

“Of course not Dean; I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at Luke for making you drink so much,” Aidan says and gets up and comes back a couple of minutes later, bringing a wet towel to wipe Dean’s face with and a glass of water.

“He didn’t force me,” says Dean’s raspy voice. Aidan has to disagree, for in the pub, it looked very much like Luke was forcing that beer down Dean’s throat, and who knows how many glasses of vodka he gave him. He keeps that thought to himself though.

“Are you feeling better?” He passes the towel gently over Dean’s face and mouth. He realizes he’s rubbing small circles over the blonds’ back reassuringly.

“No” is the only thing Dean manages to says before he retches in the toilet again and stays there until the dry heaving stops, and then leans heavily against Aidan, shivering from the cold.

When Aidan’s sure no more is coming out of Dean, he cleans the pale face again with a clean end of the wet towel, and hands him over the glass of water, bringing it to Dean’s  
lips. Dean refuses at first for the blonds’ probably nauseous still, but after some encouragement from Aidan, he complies and drinks half of it.

Later, Aidan stands up and helps Dean on his feet. In the process, the blanket covering Dean’s form falls down the pale shoulders to the floor and Aidan has to force himself to look away. He picks it up and covers the kiwi again. This time, Dean takes the edges and wraps himself tightly with it. 

Aidan guides Dean out of the bathroom and Aidan can’t help but notice the way the blond limps. He makes to guide him towards Luke’s room but Dean, holds his ground and refuses to go there. For what reason, he doesn’t know. 

“Can I stay here in the living room and sleep in your couch?” Dean asks timidly.

“Sure. Do you want me to bring you your clothes?” Aidan asks him as he helps Dean toward the couch and helps him sit in it.

“Yes, please.” 

“I’ll be right back” Aidan says and goes to Luke’s room, where the bastard is probably sleeping and thinks about barging in to wake him up, but he doesn’t really want him to wake up horny and want another go with Dean, so he opts for entering quietly. He fetches what he assumes are Dean’s clothes from the floor, with only the light in the hallway as illumination and he is about to exit the room when Luke’s voice startles him.

“Is he done throwing up?”

“Fuck, you scared me, I thought you were asleep,” Aidan says and curses to himself.

“What are you doing?” Luke asks curiously.

“Um, I’m fetching Dean’s clothes. He wants to sleep in the couch.” Aidan hopes Luke will take the hint and leave Dean be for the night. But of course that’s not the case. 

“Nonsense, why does he want to sleep there, I’ve got plenty of room here for him,” Luke says and stands up. He doesn’t even bother to put on underwear and walks to the door and calls for Dean.

“Dean? What’s this nonsense about you wanting to sleep here? Come back here and I’ll give you something good.” Aidan can see Dean in the couch staring back at Luke. His expression is one of surprise mixed with…defeat? He looks like he is trying to think of an excuse.

“I don’t feel good,” he says finally and lowers his gaze.

“All the more reason for you to come with me, I’ll make you feel really good,” Luke teases but it doesn’t get the expected effect for Dean wraps the blanket more tightly around his body and hunches his shoulders.

“I’ll throw up in your bed,” he says staring at the floor.

“That’s not a problem for me. Just come back here and we’ll fuck some more.” Luke doesn’t want to back down. Dean looks up again and looks kind of desperate, then looks at him, and it seems to Aidan that he’s silently asking for help, but he doesn’t really want to interfere. Not yet.

“I don’t want to,” Dean says finally, in a timid voice, and stares at the floor again.  
Aidan expects Luke to back down now, but instead, he walks down the hallway towards the blond, reaches down and grabs Dean’s hand.

“C’mon cutie, just a quickie, and then you can sleep wherever you want.” He pulls Dean of the couch, who stands reluctantly, and starts to walk back to his room, taking a defeated Dean with him. Aidan is standing there in the hallway and when Luke walks right by him, he grabs his arm in a firm hold. 

“He doesn’t want to Luke, leave him be,” Aidan says firmly.

“Of course he wants to, don’t you Dean,” he addresses the blond, who lifts his head to look at Aidan, he doesn’t answer.

“No, Luke, he doesn’t, he told you so. Leave him alone,” Aidan says in a very strong voice. He’s not going to back down either. 

They stare at each other for a few seconds. Luke doesn’t look angry or annoyed; he’s just studying Aidan´s expression. Thankfully, he backs down.

“Alright, suit yourself. It’s your loss,” he addresses Dean and lets his hand go, then walks to his room and stays there.

Aidan looks at Dean; he is standing there with a blank look on his face and shivering from cold. 

Aidan fights the urge to hold the kiwi in his arms. He hands him his clothes but Dean’s pretty useless at the moment and doesn’t even move to take them. He guides him back towards the couch and tells him to sit down; Aidan sits in front of him on the coffee table and takes the white long sleeved shirt, puts it over Dean’s head, then helps him put each arm inside too. And then helps him put his sweater on too. The blanket has pooled around the blonds waist, so thankfully, there’s nothing showing. He grabs the blue underwear and hands it over so Dean can put on by himself. The kiwi does so and then the pants, and the socks.

Once he is fully dressed he stands up shakily and makes for the bathroom again.

“Do you need to throw up again?” ask Aidan worriedly but the kiwi shakes his head in denial.

“I’m gonna go clean the bathroom” he says and Aidan prevents him from advancing sitting him back down on the couch.

“No, you are not. I’ll take care of it. You just lie down and get some sleep”.

Dean looks like he wants to protest but feels too crappy to do anything right now, so he nods, lies down and covers himself with the blanket. Aidan stands up.

“Do you think he is mad?” he hears Dean say from the couch.

“What does it matter if he is mad, Dean, he shouldn’t pressure you into having sex with him.”Aidan can’t believe it, Dean feels guilty for denying Luke.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have sex him. I’m just tired and I don’t feel good,” Dean says, trying to explain himself. “And he should understand that,” Aidan says and walks away.

“Thank you Aidan. Good night and I’m sorry about the toilet” Aidan hears him say as he turns the lights off. 

He goes to his room to get another blanket, for it’s getting colder and covers Dean with it too, he goes to clean the bathroom then. When he’s back, he sits down on the arm chair right next to the couch Dean’s sleeping on. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to get any sleep so he turns the TV on and presses mute. He’ll guard Dean’s sleep, in case he wants to throw up again, although it seems unlikely.

He doesn’t notices when he falls asleep, but it feels like he never did. He opens his eyes and the sun is already leaking through the curtains. He stretches and gets up, leans down to inspect Dean, who is still sound asleep, snoring lightly. 

He feels a headache coming and can only imagine what kind of head ache Dean will have when he wakes; the poor thing.

He goes to the kitchen, makes coffee and sits back down on the couch with a mug full of it, waiting for Dean to wake up. He’s planning on driving him back to his place, that is, if Luke doesn’t offer to drive him himself. 

_Yeah right, like that’s gonna happen_.

He watches the news for a while, watches some cartoons, and about an hour later, Dean begins to stir awake. There’s some movement under the blankets and a small groan, then, a hand comes from under the lump and pulls at the covers to reveal a very tired looking Dean. 

Aidan had been wishing that when he looked at Dean again in the morning, he would be hideous, that his beauty had only been a trick of his mind and the alcohol, but the face that looks confusedly back at him, is as gorgeous as he remembers. Even more so in the morning light, were the blond strands of hair catch the sun rays and makes them look almost like liquid gold and his eyes look crystal blue. He’s just breathtaking.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

Dean takes a while to answer, like he’s not sure if he is. 

“My head hurts, and my throat,” he says but looks like he wants to continue numbering parts of his body that are hurting.

“I can imagine. You had quite a bit to drink,” he says and watches as Dean sits up and stars looking for his shoes. He finds them, for he left them beside the couch last night so Dean could easily find them, and puts them on.

“What happened last night?” Dean asks wearily and for a moment, Aidan fears Dean won’t remember sleeping with Luke and everything after. 

“You don’t remember?” The blond thinks for a while, then answers.

“Yes. Is Luke awake yet?” Dean asks wearily and makes to stand up but ends up grabbing his head with his hands and groaning in pain. Aidan goes to the kitchen looking for painkillers and brings them to Dean with a glass of water. Dean takes the offered pills and glass and thanks Aidan, then hurriedly gulps everything down. 

“I don’t usually drink this much, I swear, I’ve never gotten this drunk before,” Dean nervously tries to explain himself, which is ridiculous, he doesn’t need to so do, he’s a grown man, he can do whatever he wants.

“Dean, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“But I do. I came here uninvited and drunk and…you don’t even know me and you had to let me stay here and…I threw up in your bathroom!” says Dean hysterically. He looks on the verge of a mental breakdown and Aidan fears he will start crying. 

“Calm down Dean. You didn’t come here uninvited. Luke invited you to stay, remember? And for the bathroom, I already told you, it doesn’t matter, I already took care of it, there was hardly anything to clean, if it makes you feel better,” he tries to reassure him.

Dean tries to stand again, slowly this time, and succeeds. 

“I have to go. Thank you Aidan for letting me stay here, and for everything and … I’m sorry,” he says. _He even remembers my name. Can he be any more perfect_? Aidan thinks. 

The blond starts looking for his jacket but can’t find it. Apparently, said jacket is still in Luke’s bedroom.

“Oh, wait here, it’s probably in Luke’s bedroom, I’ll get it for you” Dean looks like he’s about to deny the offer, but it is pretty fucking cold, so he nods anyways.

Aidan goes in search of said jacket. Thankfully, Luke is fast asleep. He doesn’t even remember seeing Dean wearing a jacket, but finds a dark grey and plushy one he doesn’t recognize and looks too small to be Luke’s so he takes it back to Dean, who is standing by the door, looking at the floor, like he is ashamed of himself. 

“Is this the one?” He asks and Dean nods, taking it from his hands and putting it on.

“Thank you, Aidan. I have to go now,” he says and opens the door. 

“Wait. Do you even know where you are?” Dean turns around to face him, looks him in the eye and quickly lowers his gaze shaking his head in denial.

“Um, I don’t remember how we got here either, but I’ll manage,” he says and makes to leave only to be stopped by Aidan grabbing his arm.

“I’ll drive you, let me just get my keys,” he says and goes back inside to get them from the coffee table, then walks to the kitchen, opens a counter and grabs a package of biscuits, then goes back to the living room, puts his jacket on he left lying in the couch; the only clothing he took off last night, and walks back to the door. Dean is there, looking  
uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to, really. I can manage.” Aidan doesn’t pay attention to him though.

“Nonsense, you’ll get lost, you’ve only been here for a month. Besides, you’ve got one hell of a hangover, you must be feeling horribly. Dean sighs in defeat.

“Ok,” he says and walks toward Aidan’s car, where Aidan has already opened the passenger’s door and he is holding it for Dean to sit inside. When he does, Aidan goes to the driver’s side, and sits, closes the door and starts the engine. He hands the biscuits to the blond.

“You should eat something,” he says, “Don’t want you to get hungry.” Dean takes the package and smiles sweetly.

“Thank you. How can I ever repay you?” says Dean in a soft, low tone, looking shyly at the package in his hands.

“Dean, it’s nothing really, I’m happy to do so and I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you made it home safely, and that you are not hungry,” he says smiling at Dean and gets an adorable smile in return that feels like a reward. They share the biscuits.

Aidan drives back to the pub, for Dean told him last night he lives a few blocks from there. Dean, who already knows where he is, gives him directions and in about ten minutes, they make it to Dean’s house. It’s an old and ugly looking building. _The apartments must be pretty small and dark_. Aidan thinks and feels bad for the kiwi. Someone like Dean deserves better than this, much better.

“Well, this is where I live. Thank you Aidan, for everything,” Dean says shyly and to Aidan’s surprise, he leans over and kisses him on the cheek. Then hurriedly opens the door and steps out of the car, walks around it and standing at the door of the old building, turns back and smiling waves goodbye, then goes inside.

It takes some time for Aidan to regain his thinking ability. “Goodbye Dean,” he says quietly and drives away.


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter three, It's written in both Aidan and Dean's point of view.Oh, btw, I put Deannie as Dean's pet name from   
> Jared, because I saw Emmet Skilton refereing to him as such in a tumblr post, so I just assumed the Almighty cast calls him that.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!   
>    
> Also, thanks a lot to everyone who left Kudos and comments, they make my day. And special thanks for Finduilas88, for helping me with my mistakes, thank you!

Aidan pulls over outside his house. He couldn’t get over the fact that Dean had kissed him on the cheek. It seemed pretty ridiculous, considering he slept with Luke, but still, that simple gesture held so much in it and Aidan can’t stop smiling like an idiot. 

He gets out of the car and into the house. Luke is already up drinking coffee and sitting in the couch Dean slept in. The blankets are still there and Luke is using them to cover himself. 

_He’ll leave his smell there and drown Dean’s. I have to take them from him_.

“Hey there Aid, were where you.” Luke asks and blows his coffee to cool it down.

“None of your business,” he says nonchalantly as he reaches for the blankets and snatches them from Luke’s form. 

“Hey! I’m cold,” Luke protests.

“Then get your own blankets,” Aidan says trying to make it sound like a jest and it works for they always treat each other that way.

Aidan goes to his bedroom and closes the door. He leaves the blankets on his bed and takes his clothes off to get into bed. He then takes the blankets and tries to find Dean’s soft smell. It’s there, barely, but it’s there and it’s incredibly alluring so he has to fight the urge to masturbate thinking about the blond. It would be just plain creepy to do it, so he carefully leaves the blankets at the foot of his bed and lies down to sleep. It’s early yet and he doesn’t have work for today, but he has plans to have dinner with Adam, arranged last night, so he’s got plenty of time for sleeping. 

He makes great use of that time for he wakes up at about four in the afternoon. He stretches his long body like a cat and yawns loudly. 

He looks down at his usual morning problem and sighs. He is definitely not going to masturbate thinking about Dean and his perfect bum. His hand threatens to move down on its own accord so he gets up hastily, wraps his towel around his waist, and then heads for the bathroom. 

Luke is sitting in ‘the’ couch still, looking at his phone, smirking. _Did he really stay there all the time I was asleep_? 

Aidan enters the bathroom, turns the shower on and feels the temperature. Perfect. 

He un-wraps the towel from his waist and carefully enters the shower. 

He washes every part of his body thoroughly; he might be a messy bastard but at least he is clean. His mind starts to take him back to earlier this morning, to Dean, and how gorgeous he looked in the morning light and how beautiful his dimpled smile is. His cock twitches at the thought of the blond but he ignores it.

When he is done, he gets out of the shower and leaves the bathroom, the towel wrapped tightly around his waist again. He enters his bedroom and closes the door then searches through his pile of clean clothes; he’s got a pile for clean clothes and another one for dirty one’s, and puts on a white undershirt, a plaid shirt and jeans. 

He’s got to meet Adam at five so he’s got like twenty minutes left. He goes to the kitchen, Luke seems to have left, and pours some coffee Luke made in his mug. It tastes horribly, but it’ll wake him up. 

He finishes it and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and put on some deodorant, the goes back to the living room and fetching his keys and jacket, he leaves the house.  
A few minutes later, Aidan is waiting for Adam outside the restaurant they always eat at when they meet. Nothing fancy, just a plain restaurant; but the food is great. He’s smoking a cigarette when Adam turns up. 

“Hey Aid, how are you. Did you get hung-over? I did.” Adam says cheerfully and tries to swat away the smoke with his hand.

“Hey yourself,” he answers equally as cheerfully. “No I didn’t, thank God.” He puts the cigarette out with his boot. 

“Shall we go in?” Aidan asks and holds the door open for Adam.

“Such a gentleman,” Adam teases.

They find a table easy enough and order the special: fish and chips.

“I noticed you were kind of off last night…May I ask why?” Adam tactfully asks.

“Nothing of importance. Are you going to order some salad? He answers, not so tactfully, trying to throw Adam away from the subject.

“C’mon Aidan, it’s me, you can trust me,” Adam says and gives him a reassuring smile.

“It’s really not important,” Aidan says trying to brush of the issue even though he knows he’ll end up telling everything to Adam.

“Aidan…” says Adam sternly.

“Adam…” he mimics, trying to annoy Adam and buy some time.

“Oh c’mon Aidan, just tell me already. You know you want to,” Adam says and taps the tip of his nose.

“Curse you,” he says and drinks from his water. “Ok, here it goes. I’m in love with you, I always have and I always will,” he says and applying his acting skills pulls on a pained suffering expression.

“Good one. How about you tell me the real reason why you behaved a little bit like jerk last night.”

Aidan sits back in his chair and takes in a deep breath.

“I don’t want to,” he says pouting, trying to buy some more time, at least until their food gets here so he can use the ‘Don’t speak with your mouth full’ phrase to his advantage.

“Please,” Adam says in his stupid sweet voice and he has to cave.

“Alright, I’ll tell you, but only if you promise not to tell anyone about this.” Adam nods in agreement, exited about what Aidan was about to tell him.

“I sort of feel a little attracted, a lot, towards Luke’s last night friend,” he says slowly.

“Is this true?” Adam asks in a serious tone.

“Yeah, that’s why I was acting that way; I didn’t particularly enjoy Luke devouring him right beside me,” he says looking at his hands that are fumbling with a napkin.

“Oh Aid, I’m sorry. It must have been hard being home last night, with them in the next room,” sweet, considerate Adam says.

“Can we not talk about it please, it’s embarrassing,” he says. The waitress brings their food and leaves.

“No it’s not. The guy was very handsome and…drunk,” Adam says. “That’s pretty much what I got from him, sorry. What was his name again?” he asks.

“Dean, and I got a lot more than that,” Aidan says softly and starts to eat.

“Look, its Luke, right? He will forget about him, he probably already has and maybe you can ask him out or something,” Adam says trying to make him feel better.

“I guess you are right, he didn’t even mention him this morning,” Aidan says and they start talking about something else. They resume eating and talk some more.  
Later, they leave the restaurant and start walking around the city for a few hours with no particular destination, and then they go to a pub to get a beer, one beer.

“So, are you going to ask him out, I mean, do you know anything about him, anything useful?” Adam asks and drinks a small sip of his beer.

“I know where he lives; I drove him home this morning, but still, don’t you think it would be a little ridiculous to show up to his apartment and ask him out?” he asked.

“Really? That was sweet of you, and of course it wouldn’t be ridiculous, just be honest and tell him you like him and would love to get to know him better,” Adam says cheerfully.

“I don’t know, maybe, I’ll have to think about it.”

They leave at about eight thirty and when Aidan gets home, Luke is not there. He goes to the kitchen and makes himself a sandwich, then goes to the living room to watch some TV. He sits down on the couch and tries in vain not to think about the blond. _What might he be doing right now? Maybe he is asleep_.

“God, I’m such a girl!”He chastises himself.

Aidan stays there watching a movie he doesn’t even like, he is too lazy to change the channel, for the remote control is beside the TV, too far away.

He slept well into the afternoon so he doesn’t get sleepy for at least two more hours, and in those hours he watches another movie, even worse than the one before that. The remote is still right beside the TV.

It’s almost one and Luke hasn’t come home yet. There’s a dreadful feeling in his stomach. 

_What if Luke is with Dean? What if right now, Luke is over the kiwi’s house, fucking him senselessly?_

He tries to dismiss that thought and finally, decides to go to bed. He should stop thinking about the blond.

The sound of the door opening makes him look towards it. Luke comes in, wearing a smirk on his face. 

“Hi Aid,” Luke says and closes the door. “What are you watching?” he asks casually and sits on the couch beside him, still wearing that barely visible, but still there, smirk.

“I don’t know, some crappy movie,” he answers.

Aidan knows Luke well enough to know what that smirk means. Luke had sex, very recently. 

The thought makes Aidan’s stomach turn.

 _Great, just great_.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

The walk up the stairs makes his headache return, it had disappeared with the pills Aidan gave him but it comes back full force. Still, thinking about Aidan makes him smile.  
There’s another ache lower in his body he doesn’t want to think about but it’s kind of hard to ignore, even more now he’s walking up a staircase, also, his knee hurts. _I must have fell sometime in the night_.

He reaches his floor and his dingy apartment’s door and panics. He fumbles hastily about his pockets, in search of his damned key; all the while thinking he probably lost it in his drunkenness. 

Thankfully, in one of his jacket many pockets, is the damned key. He thanks out loud. It would have been the cherry on top of his drunken pathetic night if he had lost it.  
He opens the door and enters the apartment, closes the door behind him and sighs. God his apartment is horrible. Dark, cold and old, the disgusting wallpaper is very old and has humidity stains all over it, the furniture is even worse and it has just one tiny window in the living room that barely offers some illumination for there is another building right next to this building, which obscures most of the light. 

He wishes he could do some renovations but he doesn’t have enough money yet to try and do it. He is still planning on doing it sometime in the future though. 

Dean walks over to his bedroom, it’s small and only a small bed and a small wardrobe fit. It’s also the less ugly room in the apartment, for he removed the wallpaper and painted it. He refused to sleep in the cave it originally looked like. 

There are lots of pictures of himself and his friends back in New Zealand, framed in one of the walls, that make him feel less lonely, so he stares at them for a second. He then grabs some clean clothes from his wardrobe and heads for the bathroom; also horrible and small, but clean. 

He’s been desperate for a shower ever since he woke up in that strange living room. Dean stops his train of thought right there for he really doesn’t want to think about last night, not now, not ever.

The warm water feels heavenly over his aching body, but it doesn’t do much to wash away the feeling of being dirty, so he scrubs his body hard with the washing cloth until his skin is pink, taking longer care with his lower regions. He winces when he washes his privates, feeling the tender flesh with his fingers to inspect if there’s any blood but is relived when there’s none. It seems to be little damage done but it sure doesn’t feel like it. 

He washes his hair and resumes his shower. 

Wrapping a soft towel around his waist and cleaning the mirror he inspects his reflection, he wishes he hadn’t. There are two huge hickeys, one in his neck and the other in his left shoulder. Flashes of last night’s activities come to him, of the exact moment Luke gave him those marks. He shivers and looks away. 

Once he’s dry and fully dressed he sits on the couch, wincing a little from the pain, and turns on the TV. 

He doesn’t have to work today, although he wishes he did, for if he did, he would have never accepted his work mate’s invitation and he would never have gotten that drunk and made an ass of himself or slept with the first guy that came on to him. 

He tries to focus on the TV, but fails. _Why did I drink so much_? He thinks, covering his face in shame. 

He’s never been one to drink to get drunk and he’s only been drunk a couple of times in his life, and it had been with his friends, and it had been fun, nothing like last night; and he’d never, ever had a one night stand. 

His train of thoughts makes him think about Luke. He was very handsome, he has to admit, probably the reason why he kissed back so eagerly in the pub’s bathroom when Luke approached him and kissed him without further introduction. He did tell him his name between kisses though and he gave his back, although it seemed like Luke cared little about it. 

“God, I’m such a slut” Dean says out loud and lies on the couch and covers his face with a pillow. 

He stays there, self loathing for a while, and if a few tears escape from his eyes, no one has to know, until his stomach begs him to feed it. 

He only ate those biscuits Aidan gave to him, and he did throw up last night, all the contents in his stomach so it’s probably why he is starving right now. 

He smiles when he thinks about Aidan.

 _He was really nice to me even though he didn’t know me. He even cleaned my sick. Too bad he probably thinks I’m a slut._ Dean thinks dejectedly. 

He hopes he could see him again, maybe even become friends, but the idea of having to face him again after what Aidan probably saw and what Luke, being his friend probably told him about him, makes him think against it. It’s probably better if he never sees them again.

He gets up to find some food, for he can’t ignore his aching stomach any longer and looks through the counters. The only food left is some instantaneous veggie soup. He really needs to buy food.

Once his stomach is finally full he decides to lie down for a while and sleep some for he’s still a little hung-over. He goes to his bedroom and lies down on his bed.

He doesn’t know how much time he’s been asleep when an annoying noise wakes him. It’s coming from the living room. 

Dean gets up reluctantly and heads in the direction of the noise. It turns out it’s his cell phone. He is not used to his ringtone because no one ever calls him. 

There’s an unknown number in the screen. He sleepily answers.

“Hello?”

“Hey cutie, remember me?” A strange male voice answers.

“Um, no. Who is this?” Dean asks wearily.

“Oh you break my heart, cutie. I do understand though, you were pretty out of it last night.” Dean pales at that. Luke.

“Oh Luke, hi.” Dean can’t remember for shit having given his phone number to Luke.

“You _do_ remember me,” Luke says in a happy tone. _Why would Luke be so happy that he remembers him_?

“Yes. I wasn’t that drunk, I mean I was but…I got drunk after I met you,” Dean says and laughs nervously. _Get yourself together_!

“Listen, I would like to meet you again, maybe tomorrow night, just the two of us. We could go somewhere quiet were we can talk.” Dean pales some more. _He wants to see me again? Why?_.

“I…I don’t know…I…You really want to see me again?” Dean asks not really believing the answer to be positive.

“Of course I want to see you again. You are pretty gorgeous, you know. And we had an amazing time, don’t you think?” Dean wishes he remembered having sex with Luke, but truth is all he gets are flashes here and there. Maybe it’s better that way though.

“I…yes…I think so.” Dean says hesitantly. _Don’t be so obvious!_

“Ah yes, the alcohol… I can assure that you enjoyed it. Well, what do you say?” Dean wants to crawl into a hole and die. Luke remembers everything of course.

“I don’t know,” Dean hesitates.

“C’mon cutie, I won’t take no for an answer,” Luke says firmly. Oh well.

“Ok,” Dean says in a small voice.

“Great. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine. Give me your address.” Dean reluctantly give’s his address and they both say goodbye. He hangs up.

 _What did just happen?_. 

It’s not that he doesn’t like Luke, quite the contrary, Luke is handsome as fuck, but why would someone like Luke be interested in him? 

He’s not pretty gorgeous like Luke said, he is pretty damn plain, nothing special about him; pretty damn boring too. Those thoughts make him doubt the reality of the call. 

_Maybe I’m still drunk._

Later, he decides to skype with Jared. The time difference is a bitch, but Jared always goes to bed late, so he may be up. Luckily, he is.

“Jared, how are you. I miss you,” Dean says cheerfully.

“I miss you too. I’m great, and you? You look terrible.” Dean laughs at that. 

“Yeah, I feel pretty crappy too. I’m hung-over.” 

“What? Really? What happened to my Deannie? Who has been leading you down the bad path?” Jared teases.

“Um, nobody and it was a onetime thing, I swear,” Dean says. 

“Well c’mon, tell me about it. Did you have fun at least?” Jared asks curiously.

“Yeah…I think so,” Dean says sheepishly.

“You don’t even remember…” Jared reproaches him in jest shaking his head in resignation.

“I remember…just…not all of it,” Dean says in his defense.

“What do you remember, then?” Jared asks.

“Well, I remember going with two of my work mates to some pub a few blocks from here. They insisted I should go to this place because it’s so great and all and we had a few  
drinks...” Dean pauses.

“And..?” Jared asked impatiently.

“well, I had a little bit more than I’m used to I guess, but I was fine. We called it for the night and I went to the toilets to pee before leaving and there was this guy there, you know,” Dean stops, he’s starting to get really self-conscious. _Maybe it’s not the best idea to tell Jared_

“You met someone?!” Jared exclaims in awe.

“Yes, but…I don’t know if I should tell you about…” Dean starts to say but gets interrupted.

“No way, you already started telling me, you are not stopping now. I forbid it,” Jared says, pointing at the screen.

“You do realize I can just close this,” Dean says in jest.

“We both know you are not going to do that. Go on,” Jared says and gets closer to the screen as if he wants to see every expression in Dean’s face, while he tells him about his wild  
night.

“Ok, so there was this guy there in the bathroom. I relived myself and was drying my hands and looking at the mirror when the guy approached me and…” Dean pauses again.  
Jared looks at him through the camera. “And…?” he says impatiently. 

“Well…he…kissed me.” Dean blushes as he recalls the event.

“What, just like that? Did he even tell you his name?” 

“Nope…” Dean is really ashamed about what he’s going to say next so he doesn’t look at the screen while he says it. “…and I let him.”

“Wow Dean, that is very unlike you. Was he even cute?” Jared asks smiling.

“I know, I don’t know what came over me,” he says and covers his face with his hands then looks back at the screen. “…and he is handsome, very”.

“So what else happened, or was it just kissing in the bathroom?” teases Jared.

“I wish,” says Dean and covers his face again.

“What else happened, Dean? Dean?” Jared asks impatiently when Dean takes too long to answer.

“I continued to kiss him for a little more, and then he asked me not to go home yet, so, we went back to his table and he was with some friends…and I kept drinking, a lot. That’s  
when everything started to get a little blurry, you know. I remember going to the bathroom again, with a friend of Luke’s…” Jared interrupts him again.

“You kissed his friend too?” Jared stares at him not believing what Dean was telling him.

“No, I didn’t, he just helped me because… I was too drunk to go by myself,” says Dean, even more self-conscious now.

“Was he cute?” Jared asks about Aidan.

“Aidan? Yes, really cute, maybe even more so than Luke,” Jared starts to smirk at that. “Nothing happened with Aidan, he just was really nice to me, is all.” Dean says with a longing expression on his face.

“Ok, nothing happened with Aidan…” Jared teases. “So what else happened with Luke…that you remember, of course?”Dean frowns at that.

“well, we came back to the table and I continued kissing Luke and somehow, we ended up in a car, and then I was with Luke…in his house…in his bedroom…” Dean looks at his lap ashamed.

“You slept with Luke,” Jared says knowingly. Dean nods.

“I don’t know what happened; really, I just…went along with it.”

“Did you want to sleep with him?” Jared asks in a serious tone. Dean looks up at the question.

“Yeah…I guess” Dean is not a hundred percent sure of his answer.

“You guess? How drunk were you? And more importantly, how drunk was he? Doesn’t he know he shouldn’t have sex with someone who is unable to give consent, like you probably were?” Jared’s voice sounds angry now.

“Calm down Jared, it’s not a big deal. I liked the guy and that I don’t remember doesn’t mean I didn’t want it at the moment.”

“Did he use protection?” Jared asks in a serious tone.

“I…think so. Yes” Dean is not sure.

“Dean, you have to be more careful. You are alone in a strange country and anyone could take advantage of you in a drunken state, and I’m not there to help you or Ben,” Jared says sadly. “Please Dean, be careful.”

“I will.” Dean says and smiles at his friend protective nature. 

Just at that moment, Dean’s phone vibrates. He looks at the screen and there’s a text message form that unknown number. Luke. Dean opens the message and starts reading.

 _I can’t wait to see you again. I love your smell and your taste. Can’t wait to have you under me, writhing and moaning, eager for my cock_.

His heart stops for a second. He’s not sure what to think of this message, but one thing he is sure of, he is not telling Jared about it.  
Unfortunately, Jared saw him looking at his phone. 

“Is that Luke?” Dean looks up at the screen. He can’t lie to Jared.

“Um, yeah. He wants to see me again.” Dean says trying to sound cool about it but failing fantastically.

“Really? That’s great. Do you want to see him?” 

“I think so,” Dean says a little bit unsure.

“Is he asking you out on a date?” 

“Yes, something like that,” says Dean.

“I’m glad. He likes you and you’re not just a one night thing for him, otherwise he wouldn’t have contacted you, so that’s good. You should try and get to know him; maybe you’ll find out you really like him.”

“Maybe,” Dean says hesitant. “It’s Just…a guy like him would never like, well, a guy like me.”

“Oh Dean, please. How many times do I have to tell you? You deserve to be with a great guy, a handsome, great guy, and they will be lucky to have you. You are kind and sweet and considerate, and generous, not to mention you are fucking gorgeous. It’s time you start believing it.” Jared says whole heartedly. “I love you Dean. You are my friend and I care about you, and I want you to be happy, to find a man that is good to you and treats you the way you deserve. It’s time you forget about that bastard and move on.”

“Thank you, I love you too.” Dean smiles at the screen.

“I have to go. I hope you go out with Luke and have a great time, and if it doesn’t turns out right with him, maybe Aidan is available.” Jared teases and smiles, waving to say goodbye. Dean blushes at Jared’s mention of Aidan.

“Bye Jared, send my love to Ben and take care, both of you.” Dean waves back smiling.

“Bye, take care and for the love of god be careful,” Jared says pleadingly.

“I will,” says Dean laughing, “bye.”

Dean seats there, staring at the screen of his laptop. He misses his friends so much, but he had to leave New Zealand, he had to get away from him and all his crap, otherwise he would have never been able to leave him.

He thinks back to what Jared told him. He’s right, he should go out with Luke and see if things turn out right, he is really handsome, and the thought of having sex with him again makes him a little bit eager. All right, it’s decided then, he will go out with Luke and have sex again with him, sober sex, and hopefully start a relationship, if Luke wants to of course.

Dean spends the rest of the day watching TV and lying on his couch. 

At about eight, his stomach grumbles again but he remembers there’s no food left, so he ignores it. He needs to go to the market, not today though.

He decides to go to bed early. At least he won’t feel the hunger while asleep. He turns the TV off and goes to the bathroom, pees and brushes his teeth. He is about to go to bed when he hears a knock on his door. 

_Who can it be at this hour_?

He walks to the door and makes to open it but hesitates. 

“Who is it?” He asks through the closed door, following Jared’s advice to be more careful.

“It’s me.” Dean’s stomach flutters. _Luke_.

Dean opens the door slowly. 

There, standing with a smoldering look in his face, and looking even more handsome than he remembers, is Luke. He looks to have really made an effort with his appearance; hair combed back, a black button down, tight jeans that show his beautifully muscular thighs, and his leather jacket; and tall, so tall. He looks like a model.

Dean feels like a slug. He is wearing grey sweat pants, a hoodie and slippers and his hair is disheveled to say the least and his stubble is too long to be called stubble.

Dean is sure he stands there for almost like ten minutes, gaping and staring at Luke, unable to form words, well not really, but it feels like ten minutes.

Luke makes his way in like he’s been here multiple times before and he owns the place, looking at Dean, a soft smirk on his face.

“Um, I thought you said tomorrow,” is all Dean is able to articulate.

“I did, but like I said in the message, I couldn’t wait to see you,” says Luke in a very confident tone and stares at him intently sending shivers down Dean’s back.

“You…take me by surprise…I was about to go to bed, you know, “Dean says, stuttering a little.

“I don’t mind. Maybe I can join you,” Luke says seductively and Dean’s legs feel a little weak. He realizes he’s still holding the door open; maybe in case Luke changes his mind at seeing him like this.

He closes it, for Luke walks over to the couch and sits, then pats his left thigh, smiling at him. 

_He wants me to sit in his lap?_

“Come here, cutie, I’d love to have a taste of that gorgeous mouth of yours again.”

Dean is rooted in the spot by the door. He doesn’t know what to do or how to act, this is a very uncommon situation for him and he is a little bit scared. 

“Um, I…I have work tomorrow, early, maybe you should go…” Dean tries to make Luke leave. He’s not so sure if he wants him to though.

“I’m not leaving. I came here to have you and I’m not leaving before I do.” Dean doesn’t know if he should feel aroused or scared. This is definitely new for him.

“Um…I…I have to…”Dean tries to say, not really sure what the end of that sentence is, but gets interrupted when Luke gets up from the couch abruptly and walks towards him in heavy strides.

Dean doesn’t have time to react when Luke grabs his face with one of his big hands and kisses him roughly. The other hand moves behind his body and positions in the small of his back to keep him in place, flush against the brunette’s strong, muscular chest. 

He feels a talented tongued exploring and devouring his mouth and Dean feels himself responding and his arms move as if in their own accord to wrap themselves around Luke’s neck. 

Dean feels both of the man’s hands roaming down his body, touching and groping and stopping in Dean’s bum, squeezing it hard with both hands. Dean moans loudly but most of the noise is swallowed by Luke’s mouth. 

Dean continues to hold onto Luke’s neck and he doesn’t even realize when Luke’s hands have slid inside his sweat pants and underwear and now, those hands are groping his bare ass. 

A few minutes later, his pants are pooling at his ankles, and Luke is unzipping his hoodie, Dean lowers his arms so it can be completely removed, and it is. He is standing there in the middle of his apartment half naked, only wearing his white shirt. 

Luke continues his groping and touching.

 _What am I doing?_ Dean thinks but his thought is interrupted by Luke’s kisses on his neck. He is suddenly turned around and pushed against the back of the arm chair. Luke is pressing his still clothed erection against his bare bum, strongly grabbing him by his hips, moving erotically against him and pulling Dean back against his crotch.  
He should stop this, he knows he should, but he just can’t bring himself to do it. _Luke wants to fuck him, and he is gonna let him_.


	4. Chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes chapter four, finally! I realized I was making Luke kind of a rapist and a creep, and I was really going for selfish, inconsiderate, self centered bastard, so I wrote him a little bit different in this chapter, just a little though.
> 
> Thanks again for all the comments and Kudos! Hope you enjoy!

They are both naked and panting. At some point, Dean is not sure when, Luke moves them towards Dean’s bedroom and now, Dean is in all fours with Luke thrusting hard and rough into him. Dean is moaning loudly.

“You are so hot, Dean, such a good little slut,” Luke says as he thrusts in and out of Dean, almost grunting the words out. Dean frowns at the insult, but doesn’t say anything. A well aimed thrust makes him forget about it and moan even louder.“That’s it, take it. Take it all!”

Dean wouldn’t normally like the way Luke is referring to him, but he’s a little too far gone to mind much at the moment. Luke feels wonderfully inside of him, hard and hot and big, so big, and every single time, that spot inside of him is hit. He can barely form any thoughts.

“Harder, please Luke, harder,” he begs wantonly. He knows he’s going to hate himself later for saying those words, but at the moment, he can’t bring himself to care.

Dean’s orgasm is so strong he’s pretty sure he loses consciousness for a few seconds. His arms lost the battle a long time ago and they aren’t holding him up anymore, so he’s been there, with his bum in display for Luke to use as he pleases.

Luke comes hard after, holding Dean’s hips in place for a while, until his erection diminishes completely. They stay there, regaining their breaths. 

Luke pulls out and Dean winces softly. He tosses the used condom on the floor, at which Dean feels relived. _if he used one now, he probably used one last night_ , and cleans himself with a shirt, Dean’s shirt. 

He frowns at that and wants to say something but doesn’t dare to. Luke probably thought it was dirty anyway, so he’s not going to bitch to him about it.  
Still, something is bothering him.

“Why did you call me that?” Dean asks as he lies down on his side and covers his nakedness with the bed covers. Luke is collecting his clothes and hastily putting them on.

“What?” Luke asks distractedly, not looking at him.

“Slut… Why did you call me that?” he asks looking at the sheets.

“Oh, it was just a heat in the moment thing,” Luke says nonchalantly. “Why?” 

“Um…I didn’t like it,” he says shyly.

“Next time I won’t say it then,” Luke says smiling at him then bends over, now fully dressed, and kisses Dean on the nose. “I have to go. It was just a short visit. Our date is still on for tomorrow, though.”

 _He wants to see me again, he doesn’t think I’m a bad lay_. Dean thinks happily.

“Ok,” Dean makes to stand so he can see Luke to the door, but the ache in his bum makes him stop, wincing again.

“Stay there; I know where the door is. See you tomorrow. I’ll call you.” And with that, Luke is gone. The door opens and closes.  
Dean is left there, alone and thinking about the recent events. 

The sex was mind blowing he has to admit, a bit rougher than he would like, but still mind blowing. It’s been years since he’s had sex like that, though, he really doesn’t know how to feel about all this. Luke, coming here unannounced, almost demanding sex from Dean, they’ve just met, and the thought makes Dean feel a little creeped out. 

He is torn between feeling self conscious and very regretful about what he just did with a stranger, who he only knows the first name of, and feeling exited in a strange way. 

There’s something about Luke, with his powerful personality, and Dean wants to give in to that power and let himself go, lose control. He’s never been one to be much in control anyways, he’s not used to it and in a way, it feel safer to let it fall unto someone else’s hands. 

_This is wrong, you don’t even know him_. He chastises himself. Dean should know better than to let someone else control his life, but still, it was easier.

He wants to slap himself. What would Jared tell him if he knew what he is thinking right now? 

He was so scared when he left New Zealand to start a new life, he still is, terrified. But it was needed and Jared had been there the entire way. He’d been the one to convince him to get out of that toxic relationship that was drowning him and had turned him into a shadow of himself, and to take back the reins of his life. He’s not too sure he’s got them, though.

Sometime, he loses the trail of his thoughts and falls asleep. 

When he wakes up it takes him a while to remember the previous night. The pain in his backside has subsided, not completely though and it’s still there as a constant remainder of his second shameful night.

He gets up slowly and heads for the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for work. He’s getting dressed, putting on his black shirt with the cafe logo in it, and all the while, a nagging voice in his head keeps telling him that what happened last night was wrong, the voice sounding weirdly like Jared’s.

 _Dean, don’t be so overdramatic, people who don’t know each other have sex all the time, it’s not a big deal_. He tells himself and with that thought in mind, Dean puts his jacket on, leaves his apartment and goes to work. When he arrives, Orlando is already at the cafe, tidying the tables and smiles at him.

“Hey. What happened to you the other night? We were waiting for you but you never showed up so we left,” Orlando says cheerfully.

“Hi. Oh…I just run into someone, sorry,” says Dean unsure of his answer.

“But I thought you said you don’t know anyone in the country,” Orlando asks curiously.

 _Fuck_. “I…yeah, I said that…I just…” _Great, now everyone will know I’m a slut_.

“Oh, you met someone!” says Orlando loudly. Dean looks around to see if anyone heard but it’s early, and it’s just the two of them. “Good for you.”

Dean is standing there thinking about what to answer, looking at Orlando. He comes up with nothing so he lowers his head. 

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be so shy, there’s nothing wrong with it, but if it bothers you, I won’t mention it again.” Orlando assures him.

Dean smiles at that and looks up at him. “Thank you. I just…don’t usually do this, that’s all.”

“No, problem,” Orlando says smiling. 

They continue talking about something else. Dean tries to forget about the fact that Luke is going to call him sometime in the day to set their date place and time, but from time to time, he looks at his pone. 

The day is pretty uneventful, thank God, and Dean is allowed to relax a little and not put much stress in his worn out body. _If we have sex again tonight I don’t know how I will cope tomorrow, though_. Sex with Luke can be very draining.

It’s almost eight, he’s about to leave and his phone rings. It’s Luke. Saying goodbye to Orlando, he answers his phone. 

“Luke, Hi” he greets smiling and can’t hide the excitement.

“Hi, cutie, where are you?”He asks and Dean feels his knees go weak.

“I’m at work…well…I was just leaving,” he says nervously.

“Great, where is it, I’ll pick you up.” Dean’s smile grows wider. 

About half an hour later, Dean is still waiting for Luke outside the cafe, shivering from the cold. Luke said he was going to be there in a few minutes, but still no sign of him. _Maybe he got lost…or maybe I gave him the address wrong_. Dean looks at his phone for, probably, the hundredth time and there’s no missing call. He doesn’t want to call him and seem too eager or bitch him about being late so he just waits. 

Twenty minutes later, Luke arrives.

“Hey cutie. Are you ready?” It’s the only thing Luke tells him, not an “I’m sorry for being late”, not even an “I got lost and couldn’t find the cafe”, no nothing. But still, maybe he misunderstood and Luke told him he’ll be there later, so he keeps quiet.

“Yes, I’m ready,” he says smiling.

“Great, hump in,” Luke says in a seductive tone. Dean only hopes this won’t turn out to be another night of mindless sex and nothing more. Luckily, he’s wrong, for Luke takes him to a sushi restaurant not far away.

It looks nice, Dean thinks, and it’s very warm inside so he smiles happily. He’s not a big fan of sushi, but he’s not going to tell Luke that in their first actual date. They sit in a table by the window. 

“So how was your day?” Luke asks him as they wait for their order, well, Luke’s order, he didn’t really asked him what he wanted. Well, it is sushi, and to Dean is all the same, anyway.

“Um, pretty boring,” he answers. He’s really nervous to be alone with Luke, he doesn’t really know anything about him and he is afraid they won’t have anything to talk about.

“Any soreness?” Dean gets really uncomfortable with the question; he blushes furiously and doesn’t answer. Luke laughs at this. “I’m joking, you don’t’ have to answer that…I can imagine”

“How was yours?” Dean asks hastily.

“It was alright, but I was hoping it might get better,” Luke says suggestively looking at him and smirking. Dean just smiles shyly.

The waiter brings their sushi and they start eating, Dean eating as little as possible and willing his stomach to keep it down. 

“So, where’s your accent from?” Luke asks looking at his food.

“I’m from New Zealand,” Dean says smiling, hoping to talk some more about his beloved country but Luke seems uninterested.

“Why did you leave?” Dean’s thought drift back to that night at the pub and inevitably thinks about Luke’s friend Aidan. He talked a lot with the Irish man, before getting drunk, that night and he already knows more about him than Luke does. _And I haven’t slept with Aidan once_.

“Oh…just…better opportunities, I guess” Dean wants to talk about his ambition to become a professional photographer, but thinks against it, Luke is probably not interested in knowing that.

They continue talking, he finds out Luke works with Aidan sometimes, doing renovations, and other times, he models. Dean lights up at this.

“You know…I’m a photographer, not professional yet, but I want to be… and I don’t have a camera at the moment, but I’m saving to get it and when I do, I would love to take your  
photos, if you want to, of course,” Dean says hastily.

“Really? That’s great…I would love to pose for you, then” Luke says smiling seductively. Dean smiles back, already imagining in his head what the better pose would be and what cloths would look better on Luke, probably anything he wears, the man is handsome as hell.

They talk some more and finish their sushi, Dean managing to keep it down, and Luke asks for the check. He pays and they leave the warmth of the restaurant and walk back to Luke’s car.

“Thank you for dinner,” Dean thanks Luke smiling.

“No problem,” Luke says and circles Dean’s waist with his arm. When they reach the car, Dean feels himself be pushed against it and Luke is suddenly kissing him passionately and obviously, he kisses back. 

“Come back to my place,” Luke says between kisses.

“Ok,” Dean answers, a little breathless.

They get in the car and drive away.

……………………………………………………

Aidan gets up and goes to bed without another word to Luke. He could have asked him about his whereabouts and Luke would have gladly answered him, graphically, but he does not want to know. It’s highly possible that Luke met someone new during the day and it’s not common for Luke to last more than a few days with one person. Luke gets easily bored, like he says, but Aidan would rather not know if it were in fact Dean who Luke was with.

Aidan tosses and turns on his bed, and his thoughts drift back to the kiwi. He loves Luke, they’ve been best friends since ever, but he wouldn’t be lying if he said Luke does not deserve someone like Dean, and Dean deserves so much better than Luke.

 _Aidan, what is your problem? You don’t even know him. What’s so special about the kiwi anyways?_ he thinks, looking at his ceiling, but doesn’t let himself answer that question. 

He turns to one side and wills himself to fall sleep.

The next morning he gets up at nine for he has to go to work at ten. He’s been renovating a house nearby and Luke has been helping him. They’re almost finished, only the last details are left.

He gets dressed and goes to Luke’s bedroom to wake him up and all he gets is a fuck off.

“All right, suit yourself, you’ll only get half the money I promised you,” he says in jest, of course he won’t do that, and Luke will probably show up later anyways.

He leaves the house and heads for work. He spends a few hours giving the last layers of paint in walls and ceilings, but he’s got a bathroom to retile in another house. Luke doesn’t show up.

He is done for the day at about six and he’s exhausted. The bathroom was quite big and being in his hands and knees all afternoon can be very uncomfortable, and now he is in desperate need of a shower, for he’s covered in dust from the tiles he had to cut, and sweat.

When he gets home, Luke is there watching TV and smoking. 

“Hey, tough day?” Luke asks, without removing his eyes from the screen.

“Yes, you should have come, I would have finished with the damn tiles in half the time,” Aidan says grumpily, he’s not angry though, just plain tired.

“I tried, but I was just too comfortable, besides, I’ve got a date today and I need my energy,” Luke replays and takes a drag from his cigarette. 

“A date? Since when do you do dates?” Aidan asks weary of the answer, leaving his tool belt by the door.

“Hey, I take my bed partners out to dates sometimes…you know…when they are worth the effort,” says Luke, getting up from the couch and going to the kitchen. 

Aidan knows who Luke is referring to, but he has to make sure.

“And who is worth the effort at the moment?” Aidan just knows he’s going to hate the answer.

“That guy from the other night, the cute blond,” Luke says distractedly from the kitchen, being more important the sandwich he’s making himself, than the ‘cute blond’ he’s referring to.

“Why,” Aidan asks before he’s able to stop himself. He rubs his face with his hand, waiting for the answer.

“Cause he’s hot of course, and he’s so tight it feels like he’s strangli…”

“I don’t want to know that!” Aidan snaps, interrupting Luke and walks towards his room, leaving Luke grinning like an idiot, eating his sandwich. Luke has always enjoyed making Aidan uncomfortable talking about sex like that.

He enters his room and shuts the door angrily. He knows better than to ask Luke those things. It’s always bothered Aidan, how bold Luke can be, but it has never bothered him so much before. It’s obvious now, who Luke was with last night.

 _Well, fuck it; he’s not going to interfere in Luke’s current ‘relationship’. If Dean’s dumb enough to want to be Luke’s fuck toy, then so be it._ He thinks as he collects clean clothes and goes to take a long shower.

When he leaves the bathroom, he can’t help but overhear Luke talking on the phone; he’s there, sitting in the couch playing Xbox, holding the phone against his ear with his shoulder and talking distractedly to Dean, apparently.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, bye,” Luke says last and tosses his phone on the couch. Aidan goes to his room to get dressed and maybe try and tame the disaster he calls bedroom. 

When Aidan has given up, it’s about eight thirty and Luke is still sitting in the couch playing Xbox, and he’s supposed to have a date. 

Aidan, now freshly showered and clothed in comfy sweat pants and a shirt, with his messy curls tied up in a bun, makes himself some tea and goes to sit with Luke.

“What about your date?” he asks, looking at the TV screen and takes a sip from his tea.

“Oh yeah, I’ll just finish this match and I’ll go.” Aidan fights the urge to grab Luke and throw him out of the house so he’ll go to Dean, who’s probably waiting for him outside, in the cold.

It’s about twenty minutes later when Luke, obviously, loses the match so he leaves the controller in the couch cursing out loud. 

“This fucking game hates me,” he stands up and puts on his jacket, grabs his key’s and goes for the door, opening it.

“Don’t wait me up.” Luke says dramatically and leaves the house.

Aidan smiles reluctantly. God his friend is an asshole, but he can’t bring himself to hate him, well, maybe a little. 

He thinks about Dean. “I hope you didn’t wait for him,” he says as he grabs the abandoned controller and starts a new match.

It’s almost ten and he’s still playing Xbox. He hears a car pull over in their drive way, Luke’s car.

_He brought him here?_

He waits there on the couch until he hears them approaching the steps. He prepares for the key turning but all he hears are muffled noises and the sound of what he assumes are bodies pressing against the door. He angrily gets up and goes to open the door, causing the two bodies behind to fall, Dean first and Luke on top. 

_What on earth is the matter with me_ , he says to himself as he can only stare at the couple on the floor.

“What the hell, Aidan!” Luke snaps at him as he gets up from the floor and then helps Dean up, who is rubbing his backside; he must have hit it pretty hard.

“I’m sorry, I thought you forgot your key,” Aidan says, trying to lessen his fault. He truly feels like shit, for Dean of course, Luke can fall all he wants. 

“Are you ok?” he asks Dean.

 _Twice, he’s made him fall twice already. Good one Aidan_.

“It’s alright, I’m fine” Dean says smiling as he looks up at Aidan.

 _Shit, I’d forgotten how gorgeous he is_. 

“Are you sure?” he asks to make sure and realizes he’s got both hands in Dean’s shoulders. Slowly, he removes them.

“He’s fine Aidan, but next time you see him, maybe you could try and not make him fall,” Luke teases. Dean laughs at that.

“Hi Aidan. Did you make me fall last time I was here? I …don’t remember.” Dean is smiling sheepishly at Aidan and his dimples are showing beautifully. Aidan wants to punch Luke.

“I…yes, I did, but it was an accident of course,” Aidan says in his defense. “And hi to you.”

“It’s nice to see you again, and thanks again for taking me home that day,” if he knew Dean better, he’d say he looks terribly nervous.

“It’s nice to see you too, and like I said that day, it was no problem.” 

“Alright, if you don’t mind Aid, I’ll take this little guy to my room,” Luke says, startling both of them and taking Dean’s hand he leads the kiwi to his room.  
Dean smiles apologetically, “see you later?” he asks shyly.

Aidan can only nod. When Luke’s bedroom door is closed, he realizes he’s been standing there like an idiot, watching as Luke takes Dean away from him.

 _Awesome, I’ll have to sleep on the couch_. He thinks bitterly, for in no way in hell is he going to sleep next to Luke’s bedroom and hear their coupling again.  
It’s three am and Aidan can’t sleep. He’s been hearing some moaning and weird noises coming from the end of the hallway, but nothing too terribly loud he can’t drown with the TV. The real reason he’s awake is obviously the fact that Dean, the man that have plagued his thoughts since that night at the pub, is just a few meters away from him, having sex with his best friend Luke. He should be with him.

 _Stop it Aidan, you can’t like him, period_!

Again, he forces himself to sleep and eventually, he succeeds.

He’s forced awake by the need to pee. It takes him a few minutes to wake up completely and to get up from the couch. He’s stretching his body and yawning loudly when some movement from the kitchen draws his gaze. His brain is still half asleep so he doesn’t register right away the fact that there, fumbling about the kitchen is Dean. The Images from last night come in a flood and Aidan stays there, staring at Dean for long minutes, petrified.

When Dean notices him, the kiwi also stays staring back at him. He looks like a deer caught in head lights; he probably didn’t see Aidan sleeping on the couch. 

When Aidan is finally able to wake his brain up, he greets Dean.

“Good morning” the kiwi stays there staring for a few seconds more, as if registering what Aidan said.

“Good morning Aidan, forgive me, did I wake you?” he asks worriedly and bites his bottom lip.

“No, no, don’t worry, the need to pee did,” he says and points towards the bathroom.

“Oh, ok, good, “Dean says relived. He smiles at the blond as he goes to relieve himself. 

Aidan empties his bladder and washing his hands, he looks at his reflection. _…and I look like a cave man, of course_ …Most of his wild curls have escaped the bun and now are pointing in every possible direction and it doesn’t help him at all the fact that he has let his beard grow a little bit the past days, so he looks terrible. Little did he know that Dean is thinking quite the contrary in the kitchen.

He rearranges his bun and washes his face. 

There, at least he looks human now.

He exits the bathroom and goes to the kitchen. Now that he’s more awake he can actually see and smell what Dean is doing. He’s making breakfast and it smells wonderful. There are eggs, bacon, sausages, toasts, orange juice and coffee, more than he’d had for breakfast since he left home. 

“Did you make all this?” Aidan is honestly surprised, given both his and Luke’s inability to cook anything remotely edible, he assumes no one else is capable of such a deed, aside from his mum of course, and Adam.

“Yes…I hope you don’t mind,” Dean says timidly. 

“No, why would I? I’m just impressed…did you go and buy all this?” Aidan asks when he remembers that there wasn’t any food in their fridge, just stale bread and some jam.

“I wanted to do something nice for Luke,” he pauses. Aidan feels a sinking sensation in his stomach.

 _Of course it’s for Luke, what were you expecting_?

“…and for you too Aidan, for being so nice the other day,” Dean smiles and Aidan wants to kiss him, but pushes that thought away.

“You didn’t have to, but you have no idea how much I thank you, I’m starving!” He says and rounds the kitchen isle to hug Dean and kisses him quickly on the top of his head then moves away. Dean giggles in response and blushes. 

“You are very welcome,” Dean says smiling sweetly and hands him a tray, Aidan has no idea they had, with a plate filled with the delicious food, a glass of orange juice and coffee.  
Aidan takes the tray to the living room and starts devouring the food.

“mmh…this is amazing, Dean, where did you learn to cook so deliciously?” he asks as he munches on a sausage.

“Um…my mom…” Dean says and something in his mood darkens. He prepares another plate and places it in a second tray with a glass of orange juice and coffee too. 

“I’ll take this to Luke,” Dean says and takes the tray to Luke’s bedroom. Aidan’s stomach turns, but not so terribly to stop eating.

“Right…” he answers somberly, turns the TV on and resumes eating.

Once he is full and more awake now thanks to the coffee and all the energy he takes the tray back to the kitchen and washes his plate. He hears a door opening and closing.

“I have to go.” Aidan hears Dean say so he turns around. The blond is fully dressed now and is wearing his grey jacket and Aidan can’t help but think he looks terribly adorable in it.

“Already?” he asks

“Yes, I have to go and get ready for work…so, goodbye,” he says smiling. Again his hair looks golden in the morning sunlight.

“I’ll drive you,” he says.

“No, thank you, but it won’t be necessary, I know the way now…and I’m sober,” Dean says and laughs in the end. _God, that adorable laugh!_

“It’s really not a problem,” he says and makes to go to his room to get ready but Dean stops him with a gentle grip on his wrist.

“Its fine, I’m good.” Aidan wants to, he really wants to drive Dean home, but if the kiwi doesn’t want to he won’t force it.

“Alright, take care,” he says as he leads Dean towards the door and opens it for him.

“You too… I guess I’ll see you?” Dean asks cheerfully and Aidan feels bad for him, he probably thinks Luke wants something serious.

“Yes. See you around,” he replays smiling and waves at Dean who starts walking down the street towards home. “Good bye, Dean,” he says softly and closes the door.


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five's here!

Aidan stays up watching TV until he hears movements come from Luke’s bedroom. A few minutes later, he appears.

“Good morning, Aid,” he says and sits down on the couch next to him.

“Good morning,” he greets back dryly. 

“Did you drive Dean home?” Luke asks as he lights up a cigarette. He hates it when Luke smokes in the morning inside the house.

“Why would I? He’s your date.” Luke smirks at that.

“I don’t know why, but I heard how you offered,” he says casually and takes a drag, eyes fixed on the screen. Aidan knows where this is going and he really wants to get up and leave, but he stays.

“I was just being polite, it’s really cold outside,” he says trying to sound cool.

“Oh…you didn’t have to though; he came here with me.” Luke takes a last long drag and puts the cigarette out in one of the ashtrays in the coffee table.

“Yes, maybe you should have offered.” Aidan stands up to go to his bedroom.

“I think he’s more than capable to go on his own,” Luke says looking up at Aidan, that stupid smirk of his adorning his face.

“Whatever,” he says as he starts walking down the hall.

“Hey Aid. Do you want to fuck Dean?” This makes Aidan stop in the middle of the hallway and turn around.

“What?” Aidan asks with an annoyed expression on his face.

“You are my friend Aid, and I can see the way you look at Dean, and we’ve shared so many things, so if you want to fuck him, I’m happy to share,” Luke smiles knowingly.

“What the fuck are you saying?” he’s angry now.

“That you want to fuck Dean,” Luke says nonchalantly, “And I’m willing to share if you want to.”  
Aidan’s blood boils at that.

“I don’t want to _fuck him_ …and who are you to decide something like that about Dean anyway!” Aidan says angrily, raising his voice. 

“Relax, I’m just screwing with you,” Luke says laughing.

“You can be a real dick sometimes, you know that?” Aidan says and turn on his heels and walks towards his bedroom. Luke is still laughing.

He kicks the door closed violently. 

How obvious has he been about Dean that Luke knows? Yes, he meant it as a joke but there’s truth behind it and Aidan obviously can’t deny it. He’s got a thing for Dean and it’s getting stronger and stronger.

He gets ready for work and leaves the house, without saying goodbye to Luke.

The rest of the week goes uneventful. Aidan doesn’t hear anything from Dean but he does see Luke texting someone, he hopes it’s not him. 

It’s Friday, and he’s home after a hard day’s work of putting ceilings with Luke. Their argument already forgotten, at least by Luke, who never knew Aidan was mad at him for he continued acting normal around Aidan, even though he wanted to stay mad at Luke for a few more days. 

They have planned a drinking night with the guys in their house for tonight so Aidan goes to take a shower and maybe sleep a little before the guys arrive.

Around eight, his alarm goes off and he gets up and dressed. He and Luke have bought a lot of alcohol, beer and vodka mostly, and the rest of the guys will probably bring some more, which is good because he plans to get really wasted.

He goes to the living room and Luke is not there, then goes to the kitchen to prepare a few snacks and sighs at the sight of the pile of dishes and glasses they’ve accumulated during the week. It was Luke’s turn to wash them. He’ll have to do it himself, but only because they will need the glasses for later.

When he’s finished there’s a knock on the door. It’s probably Adam for he’s always early to this things. He goes to open the door and it’s in fact Adam.

“Hello Aid, how are you?” he greets cheerfully and hugs him. Aidan hugs back leaning down a bit to reach Adam’s height.

“I’m Fine, and you?” Aidan steps away from the door to let Adam in and closes the door.

“I’m great! Guess what, this incredibly hot guy moved in next to my apartment, he’s all muscular and bald and so tall, kind of older but still super hot.” Adam blurts out before he has a chance to guess. 

“Really? Did you talk to him already?” Aidan asks as he leads them both to the kitchen and passes a bag of chips to Adam and a plate to put them in.

“Yes,” Adam says excitedly. “His name is Graham and from what my other next door neighbor told me, he’s recently divorced and alone… and sad,” Aidan laughs at how happy Adam sounds when he says that.

“I’m glad that this poor guy’s misery causes you so much joy. I’m happy for you,” he says in jest.

“Oh, c’mon, you know what this means,” Adam says and puts some chips in his mouth.

“Um, that you are a cruel little man?” he asks and also eats some of the chips.

“No,” Adam says drawing out the ‘o’. “It means that this gorgeous men is available and probably in seek of someone new, maybe even open for new experiences… maybe with a guy,” Adam says lifting in eyebrows for emphasis.

“Oh, Adam, you and your evil little plans,” he smiles fondly at Adam and ruffles his hair. 

“There’s nothing evil about them,” Adam says with a sweet smile. “Oh, by the way, what’s the deal with you?”

“What deal?” Aidan knows exactly what about but plays dumb.

“Oh you know what deal,” Adam says with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Nope,” he tries. 

“Dean…is it?” Adam asks and Aidan looks about the house as if expecting to see Luke standing somewhere in the living room.

“Shh, don’t mention him here, Luke could be listening.” Adam looks around too.

“I don’t see him,” 

“He could be in his room.”Aidan says in a whisper.

“Let me go check,” Adam says and goes to see if in fact Luke is in his room. He comes back a couple of minutes later.

“He’s not there,” he says as he passes the bathroom and looks quickly inside there too. “No Luke here either,” Adam comes back to the kitchen. “Well…tell me,” he insists.

Aidan sighs, “Luke is still seeing him, they had a date on Tuesday and Luke brought him here…they had sex,” he says solemnly. 

“A date? Luke took him out on a date?” Aidan nods as he dries the now clean glasses.

“Wow…he really must like him,” Aidan nods again.

“I’m sorry Aid…I’m sure he’s still going to dump him soon, even if he likes him… you know how Luke is,” Adam assures him and rubs his back with his hand.

“I know, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t date the guy my friend had sex with, it would be immoral,” Aidan says as he finishes with the glasses.

“It would normally, but this is Luke… I’m pretty sure he won’t mind,” Adam says and the sound of knocking makes him look to the door. “We’ll talk later, ok? Aidan nods and goes to open the door. It’s Jimmy, Stephen and Jed, each carrying a bottle of some liquor.

“Hey guys, how are you?” he asks as he gives each a half hug. They all greet each other and the drinking party begins. Well, it’s more like, them sitting in the couch playing Xbox, with music in the back. But they are drinking.

“You cheating sneaky little bastard, you’re gonna pay for this!” Jimmy yells at Aidan.

“It’s not cheating, I’m just awesome a this game,” Aidan says in his defense, laughing. They start playing right away for they know they will be too drunk to do so later.

“Yeah right. You probably did something to my controller,” Jimmy jests and drinks the rest of his beer in one gulp.

“Ok, who wants another drink,” Aidan asks and right then, Luke opens the door, and he is not alone, Dean is with him. Aidan stares at them for long minutes.

“Hello guys, starting without me, huh?” Luke says and drags Dean by the hand towards the group. 

_Fucking great_! He thinks and looks at the blond standing a little behind Luke, smiling shyly.

“Hey Luke…and who is this? Stephen asks. He probably doesn’t remember Dean, with his own drunkenness that night.

“Dean…and hi,” the blond answers and makes a small waving gesture with his hand.

“Hi Dean, you look familiar, have we met you before?”Jed asks and the little smirk on his face tells Aidan he knows exactly where he knows Dean from.

“Yes…I…was at that pub last Saturday,” he answers and looks a little embarrassed.

“Ohh yes…I remember you. You were sitting in Luke’s lap eating his face” Jimmy says and everyone laughs. Dean blushes furiously and looks very uncomfortable.

 _Why do I have such jerks for friends_?

“Don’t tease him, the poor guy had to kiss Luke, he’s suffered enough,” Aidan teases to try and save Dean from further embarrassment. “Now who wants a drink?” Aidan says to deter everyone’s attention from Dean, and what better way to do it than offering them alcohol. They all want more beer.

“I’d like one Aid, and Dean too,” Luke says to Aidan.

“What are you gonna have?”

“Vodka,” says Luke.

“And you?” he addresses the blond.

“Um…vodka too, please,” Dean replies shyly and smiles at him in silent gratitude. Aidan smiles back.

When he comes back, Dean is sitting with Luke in one of the arm chairs, they are kind of small so they have to sit real close, Dean almost in Luke’s lap, but not really. He hands them their drinks giving Dean the less strong of the two. They both thank him.

Their drinking, and now smoking, continues and they engulf in some stupid conversation, laughing and getting drunker and drunker. There’s no designated driver tonight for they all plan on staying. 

A few hours later Aidan is feeling a little tipsy and he can’t avoid looking at Dean from time to time. The blond sits there, with his second, or is it the third, drink in his hand, not really participating from any conversation, just smiling and laughing when someone does or says something stupid. Luke is there beside him and has an arm wrapped around his waist. Aidan gulps his drink and goes to the kitchen for another, Adam follows him.

“How are you?” Adam asks.

“I’m great, just getting another drink, why…don’t I look it?” Aidan says as he pours some vodka in his glass, well, a lot of it.

“I can see why you like him…and why Luke likes him, he’s really cute,” Adam says whispering even though the music is loud enough to drown his voice, “I didn’t notice how cute he really is before…well, at the pub I mostly saw his back since he was kissing Luke all of the time.”

“You are not helping, Adam” he tells him grabbing Adam’s shoulder in a firm grip and looking intently at him.

“I’m just saying,” he says and Aidan nods.

“Maybe we should get you drunk,” Aidan says and grabs a clean glass and fills it with vodka to the brim.

“Whatever helps my friend,” Adam answers and grabs the offered drink.

They go back to the living room.

Aidan sits in the couch and looks at the couple in the arm chair. They are kissing and Luke is caressing Dean’s thigh. He stays there, staring at Dean for a few seconds and when he looks at Luke, he is staring at him, while he kisses Dean. Aidan looks away quickly and focuses on the ridiculous story Jimmy is telling. _You bastard_. He thinks and drinks his vodka and lights up a cigarette.

Moments later, from the corner of his eye, he sees Luke standing and going to the kitchen for more drinks and he takes the chance to look at Dean again. He looks gorgeous for his lips are swollen and red from kissing; his cheeks looks flushed and his hair is all wild. Also, he’s taken his jacket off and is wearing a black shirt and a long sleeved white one under the black. Dean laughs at something stupid Jimmy says and Aidan forces himself to look towards the other Irish man, he loses the battle and looks at Dean again and to his surprise, the kiwi is looking back at him. Aidan holds his gaze and Dean, being his shy self, smiles and looks down at his lap. 

 

………………………………………………………….

 

Aidan holds his gaze and he has to look away for this wave of nervousness and embarrassment flood him at being caught looking at him, he’s been stealing glances at Aidan for a while now and he feels a little guilty for he can’t help but admire the gorgeous brunette across from him, so he keeps his eyes fixed on his lap until Luke comes back with their drinks and Dean moves over to allow Luke to sit. 

He feels warm and a little tipsy already and he knows he should go easy on the drinks for he doesn’t want to make a drunken fool of himself again in front of this guys, and Aidan and Luke, but he’s so self conscious at the moment, he wants to let loose a little. So against his better judgment, he accepts a third drink from Luke.

“You are so gorgeous, I can hardly contain myself…I want to fuck you right here, right now, in front of everybody,” Luke says loudly enough for the others to hear, but thankfully, they aren’t paying attention to them. 

“Don’t say those things so loud, they’ll hear you,” Dean says nervously.

“What if I want them to hear,” Luke says and circles Dean’s waist and tightens his hold, bringing him closer and a little on top of him. Dean feels a little self conscious of his position, almost sitting in Luke’s lap, so he tries to push himself away from Luke a little. Luke lets him and bends over towards the coffee table to grab his drink. He drinks it in four long gulps.

“Bring me another one,” Luke tells him and nudges the glass against his side, “and one for you too.”

Dean gets up to get their drinks and startles, almost dropping the glasses when Luke spanks him hard as he walks in front of him. This produces laughs and whistles from the rest of the guys and he looks around at Luke with a hurt expression and Luke is laughing so he doesn’t say anything and just smiles tightly at the others. He’s terribly embarrassed so he goes to the kitchen as fast as he can.

He’s serving the drinks and feels a presence behind so he turns around to see who is there standing. It’s Aidan.

“Are you ok?” Aidan asks with a worried expression on his face.

“Um…yes…why?” Dean asks smiling, trying to act cool but failing miserably.

“It bothered you when Luke did that, you should tell him so…and not to do it again,” Aidan says in a serious tone, staring at him deeply. “Luke can be a real jerk sometimes.”

“It didn’t…I was just…surprised, that’s all,” he says trying to reassure Aidan he’s ok with it, but he’s not really sure he is and Aidan doesn’t look convinced in the least. “He was just playing… it was nothing, really.”

“If he does something else that bothers you, tell him right away.” Aidan says and turns around to go back to the living room before he can answer.

Dean takes the drinks back to the arm chair he’s sharing with Luke and bends over to place them in the coffee table, he then feels a hand caressing his bum that he knows belongs to Luke and then, two hands take him by the hips and bring him back against Luke, so he’s now sitting in his lap. It’s not that he doesn’t like to sit there, it’s just, they have an audience and he feels really self conscious and worried about what they’re going to say. He moves to the side and sits down on the chair.

“Not here,” he tells Luke.

“Why not?” Luke says and starts kissing him preventing any answer to come out. Dean lets himself get lost in the kiss. They stop and Luke hands him his drink.

“Drink it, you are a little uptight tonight,” Luke says encouraging him to drink and Dean complies. Luke’s probably right, he should let go a little bit. He finishes his drink fast and Luke’s when Luke offers it to him. 

In a few minutes, he’s starting to feel the effect of the drinks. He sure as hell feels more relaxed now and starts laughing when Jed says some boring joke.

“How is it going over there Dean, enjoying yourself aren’t you?” Jimmy asks him smirking.

“Yep…you guys are real fun to be around” he answers in drunken honesty, smiling widely.

“Ow, he’s so cute,” Adam burst out and everybody laughs, well, everyone but Aidan.

 

…………………………………………

 

Aidan sits there and gulps drink after drink. He’s so mad at Luke, how can he be so rude to Dean, spanking him in front of everyone? Hopefully, Dean will take his advice and tell Luke he is being a rude bastard. Unlikely though for Dean is accepting drink after drink from Luke and he is looking pretty tipsy right now, laughing and talking with the guys.  
After a while, Dean looks wasted. 

Aidan looks over at the couple and sees how Dean whispers something to Luke who looks over at him.

“Hey Aid, Dean needs to pee, why don’t you show him where the toilet is,” Luke says grinning. Dean, embarrassed but laughing, covers Luke’s mouth with his hand. “Don’t tell them that,” he says eliciting laughter from the guys, who watch their exchange with interest. _They must be getting drunk too if they think this is interesting_.

“He already knows where it is,” Aidan answers casually from his slumped position on the couch.

“Yes, but look at him, he is in no state to go on his own,” Adam adds, he too now looks a little bit drunk. Trust Adam to say something like that to _“help him”_.

“Yeah Aidan, help a guy in need,” Luke insists, for what reason, he doesn’t know.

Dean stands up on wobbly feet and starts walking in the bathroom’s direction, stumbling on the arm chair Jimmy is sitting on and almost falling over him. Luckily, Jimmy catches him and steadies him before he does, Dean is giggling at his inability to walk straight. 

_Fuck it_ , Aidan thinks and stands up. 

He walks over to the blond and takes his arm to help him walk straight and not run into any walls or furniture. 

“Aidan, thank you…I think…I’m getting drunk,” Dean says on their way to the bathroom and hiccups a little. This is starting to become some sort of a routine and it’s now apparently his duty to see the kiwi to the bathroom safely, not that he’s complaining anyway.

He reaches the bathroom door, opens it and guides Dean inside. He stumbles a little. _I must be getting drunk too_.

“Hold unto the sink for support, ok?” he tells him and exits the bathroom before Dean can say anything, closing the door, but not completely and he stays there waiting for Dean to finish. The guys are laughing and talking loudly and the music is a little loud, but he knows exactly what the thud he hears means. He enters the bathroom quickly and curses when he sees Dean is on the floor laughing stupidly. His fly open but his briefs are covering everything.

“Did you pee already?” he asks as he puts his arms under Dean’s armpits to help him up. They both stumble a little bit. “Yes...I did…” Dean answers amusedly. When the kiwi is in his feet, Aidan tells him to wash his hands and Dean complies. Once that’s done, he turns around to face Aidan.

“Thank you…you are really gorgeous, Aidan,” he says casually and smiles at him. It’s Aidan’s turn to be shy.

“Um…we should go back,” he says awkwardly and turns to open the door but hesitates. Suddenly, he turns around as if controlled by outside forces, grabs Dean’s face and kisses him deeply. Dean responds eagerly, latching his arms around Aidan’s neck, moaning from pleasure. Aidan wants to taste every corner of the blonds’ mouth, wants to feel and take in everything Dean is; he needs everything Dean has to offer. The kiss turns more passionately and urgent and he grabs the blonds’ hips to bring their bodies closer.

 _What are you doing?!_ Aidan snaps at himself and stops the kiss abruptly, snatching himself from the arms around his neck and the soft lips. Dean stands there looking confused. 

“This is wrong… you are with Luke, and this is wrong. I’m sorry Dean, forgive me, I don’t know what came over me…”

At the mention of Luke, Dean seems to realize what they just did and looks back at him scared.

“Please don’t tell him, please,” Dean begs. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him,” he assures Dean. The kiwi nods and sighs relived.

“Let’s go back ok?” Aidan says and opens the door. The guys keep talking and laughing. _No one noticed_ , he thinks relived.

They walk back to the living room and Dean goes to sit with Luke, who has been looking at them since they appeared from the hallway, with his signature smirk on his lips.

They continue talking and laughing, and drinking, so now everybody is a bit wasted, even Jimmy looks a little pissed. Aidan definitely feels wasted and he starts talking with Adam and Stephen and soon, they are all laughing stupidly.

Luke has began to devour Dean in the armchair across from him, and the blond looks to really be enjoying himself, eagerly kissing back, moaning and writhing under Luke’s ministrations, who is now running his hands all over Dean’s back and casually slipping downward to grab the blonds ass and massage it, before going up again. Dean is now straddling Luke in the armchair, so he is giving a great view of his ass to Aidan, who can’t keep his eyes of it.

“Aidan…you are staring, don’t be so obvious,” Jed tells him in a whisper, leaning over form his chair. Aidan snaps out of it and focuses his full attention on his drink; he doesn’t even know what he is drinking anymore, and when that’s finished, he gets another one. He’s really going to regret it tomorrow, well, later today since its two in the morning already.

Luke stands up suddenly, causing Dean to fall of his lap but the blond manages to stay on his feet and Luke takes his hand.

“Excuse me guys, I gotta go and fuck this gorgeous ass,” Luke says, deliberately looking at Aidan while he squeezes a round cheek. Dean is far past caring about the demeaning remark and finds this terribly amusing so he laughs against Luke’s shoulder. The guys cheer and whistle, all but Adam who is looking at Aidan with a worried expression. 

They walk down the hallway and disappear from sight.

“Aidan, are you ok?” Adam asks and moves towards him in the couch.

“Yes, I’m just really drunk,” he knows what Adam is referring to but chooses not to answer that.

About an hour later, they are all sleeping or passed out in the couch or armchairs.

Aidan wakes up from his position next to Adam, who is shaking him awake. 

“What is it?” he asks and rubs his eyes with his hands, yawning loudly. 

“I can’t sleep here, Stephen takes most of the couch and he snores too loud, can I sleep in your room?” It takes a few seconds for Aidan to process what Adam just told him, but nods when he does.

“Sure, just throw the clothes on the floor, or the chair or wherever,” he falls asleep almost immediately after answering.

The next morning, he wakes up to Jed fumbling about in the kitchen, probably looking for something to eat. Stephen is still snoring loudly beside him.

He gets up from the couch, and groans from pain, he slept in the worst position ever and now his back and neck hurt like a bitch. 

“Fuck” he curses. He looks at the time on his phone. It’s 7:30 am. He goes to the bathroom but the door is closed, so he knocks.

“Yes?” Luke says. Aidan curses, he really needs to pee and Luke takes forever in the bathroom.

“Hurry the fuck up!” he yells angrily, he’s really angry at Luke for being such a jerk last night. 

“I just got in, fuck off!” Aidan knows Luke won’t come out at least for a half hour more. He’ll have to hold the pee in for a while. “Oh, your bed is occupied by the way,” Luke yells from the bathroom.

“Yeah I know,” he answers sleepily as he walks to his room to lie down beside Adam and probably sleep well into the afternoon. The drapes are closed so it’s pretty dark inside his bedroom. He takes his shoes off, his jeans and his plaid shirt and lies down. Adam has taken most of the covers so he grabs them and snatches them from Adam’s body a little to cover his own body. 

He falls asleep for a few minutes, but something wakes him up. He feels a warm body and warm skin against his chest, soft hair caressing his face.

“Adam?” he whispers, he hasn’t bothered to open his eyes yet. “Don’t cuddle me, I might need to throw up any moment and will have to get up really fast.” No response.

He looks down to his chest. Even though the light in his room is really dim, he’s positively sure the hair covering whoever’s head is resting in his chest is blond. There’s only one blond in this house.

“What on earth…?” he says in a whisper and tries to move from under the weight, but the person’s arm snakes out and wraps around his middle. This person is also a bit heavier and softer than Adam’s thin form, he notices.

 _It can’t be Dean. It’s not Dean_. He tells himself. Adam was supposed to be sleeping here not Dean. 

Aidan breathes in. _This smell is definitely Dean’s_. His hair smells like some sweet fruit he can’t really identify, a little bit fainter than he’s smelt before when he kissed him and mixed with a faint smell of cigarette, but still there.

“Shit, I kissed him… Shit. Why did I do that?” he whispers quietly, bringing his hand not buried under Dean’s weight, up to rub his forehead. The memory of those soft lips and warm body is enticing, even though it’s a little vague because of the alcohol, and it doesn’t help at all the fact he can feel the warm body against him now. _God I wish I could kiss him again_. He looks down and tries to see his face. It is in fact Dean, sleeping peacefully and looking as gorgeous as ever.

He hears the door from the bathroom opening and footsteps approaching his room.

Luke opens the door and smiles at him. Aidan looks back at him angrily.

“What the fuck Luke?” 

“I forgot to tell you….we got kind of lost last night on the way to my room,” he says nonchalantly and then leaves.

“I’m gonna kill him!” he says a little too loud and the body on top of him starts to stir awake. He looks down at Dean’s face and confused, sleepy blue eyes blink open and fix on his face. _How on earth am I going to explain this_?


	6. Chapter six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very happy with this chapter, that's mainly the reason why it took me longer to update. I hope it doesn't suck and you find yourself enjoying it anyway. Thanks for reading and commenting, and for the lovely kudos of course.

Dean’s eyes get into focus and his expression changes dramatically from peacefully confused to horrified and Aidan would have laughed if this wasn’t such an uncomfortable situation.

“What the f…” Dean says as he hurriedly gets up from his position over his chest and crawls as far away as he can from him without falling of the bed. His eyes are transfixed in Aidan’s and seem to be waiting for an explanation or maybe a remainder of what happened last night. 

Aidan know he should be formulating the explanation Dean is practically begging for, but all he can think about is that Dean is naked under the blankets and he saw a lot when the blond crawled hurriedly away from him. And now he can’t form any coherent thought, for Dean is only covering himself from the waist down, everything over his waist is uncovered and he can appreciate the beautiful, slightly freckled fair skin of his shoulders, his toned arms, golden, delicate fur covering his chest, pink small nipples and an adorable tummy. _By the gods, he is perfect_.

“What did I…what did we do?” Dean asks hysterically, breaking the spell Aidan has fallen in, in a high pitched voice. He really looks on the brink of a mental break down so he wills himself to answer.

“Look Dean, this is completely not what it looks like, I swear,” he says, sitting up slowly and holding out his hands in what he hopes is a calming gesture.

“Then why are we both naked in a bed…is it your bed?” Dean says looking about his room and not recognizing it as Luke’s. The hysteria hasn’t diminished in the slightest, for Dean’s voice is still high pitched, not that he has a very deep voice, but still, it’s higher than normal.

“No, I’m not naked, see?” he says as he uncovers himself to show Dean he’s wearing boxers. “And yes, this is my bed, my room, but listen…” he explains and makes as slight pause when Dean starts to freak out more, bringing both of his hands to is head and gripping his hair, when he tells him it’s his room. “Dean, calm down, take a deep breath,” Aidan waits till Dean complies and breathes deeply, closing his eyes, then looks up at him once more, so he continues.

“The reason why you are in my room naked is because, according to Luke, you two came here last night to…do stuff,” he says explaining slowly and in a soft voice to not startle Dean. The kiwi looks to be processing the information and trying to remember the events as they happened, a deep frown adorning his face. When he looks about to ask something, Aidan continues, “and the reason I am here is because…” he really doesn’t know how to explain this part so he pauses.

“Because…?” Dean pressures him.

“Adam… you know Adam; he told me he was going to sleep here in my room last night, and I slept in the couch,” he says pointing in the living room direction. _You are rambling Aidan. Stop it!_ , he tells himself.

“Luke didn’t tell me you were here, I fell asleep thinking you were Adam, since it’s was pretty dark when I came here and you were covered with the blankets.” He tries to sound convincing, which he should be able to do since it’s the truth, but something in Dean’s expression tells him he doesn’t quite believe in his words. He wants to call Luke so he can explain it better, but Aidan is pretty sure he would just make matters worse.

“Dean, trust me, nothing happened between you and me,” he says as truthfully as he can and looks intently at Dean. Dean seems to be buying it slowly but a deep frown is still in his features.

“We kissed” he whispers looking at him. 

_Crap, he remembers_.

“Uhm…I kissed you, yes,” Aidan says and looks down at his lap. He’s really done it this time.

“I kissed back.” Dean seems to be about to cry, but doesn’t, and Aidan can only nod.

They stare at each other for a few moments silently and there seems to be a mutual understanding. They won’t talk about that kiss. 

Dean is the first to look away, a soft smile on his lips that show off his beautiful dimples. Suddenly, the smile breaks and the frown returns as his eyes fall unto Aidan’s bed. He covers his face with both hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Dean’s muffled voice says.

“What for?” he asks confused.

“We had sex in your bed,” Dean replies, still hiding behind his little hands. Aidan can almost hear Dean berating himself. He reaches out to the blond and gently grabbing his wrists, he lowers the hands covering his beautiful face.

“Dean, listen to me, this is not your fault,” he assures him and looks intently at Dean but the kiwi won’t meet his gaze. 

Suddenly, very aware of his nakedness, Dean grabs the blankets and covers himself more, bringing them up to his chin, looking around the room for his clothes. Aidan mirror Dean’s actions and looks about the room for the missing clothes. He spots a black T shirt he assumes is Dean’s by the foot of the bed and hands it over to the blond, then turns around to find his own pants. He puts them on and when he looks around at Dean he’s already put on his T shirt and has apparently found his briefs so he’s putting them on, facing the other way. 

Aidan has to force himself to turn around and give the man some privacy. He grabs one of his shirts and also puts it on.

“Did you find all your clothes?” he asks. He hears some fumbling of clothes behind him.

“I…can’t find my pants,” Aidan looks around himself for any jeans he doesn’t recognize as his, he finds them, almost under the bed. He takes them and shows them to Dean.

“Are this yours?” Dean inspects them and nods, he´s still holding the blankets to cover himself around the waist, something Aidan finds terribly cute. Dean takes the pants and hesitates. Aidan, taking the hint, turns around again. He can’t help but smile at the blonds’ shy antics. 

After a few minutes of clothes’ fumbling, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns to face Dean, who is now, completely dressed. He looks like he wants to say something, but the words seem to be stuck on his throat. 

“I…” Dean says nervously and moves towards his bed, takes the covers and moves them back, and then grabs the sheets and starts pulling on them.

“What are you doing?” Aidan stands there and watches as Dean takes the sheets off and makes a big bundle with them, then tries to rearrange the covers as best he can in his nervousness. Aidan is still there, watching with a frown on his face.

“I’m gonna wash them…or I’ll get you new ones… if you prefer,” Dean says stuttering a little, holding the lump of sheets.” Aidan stands there staring at him. He’s never met someone as self conscious as Dean.

“No…Dean, no…you don’t have to do that,” Aidan says when he finally reacts, takes the sheets from Dean’s hands and tosses them on his pile of dirty clothes.

“Yes I do!” Dean’s voice is high pitched again, and he moves to take the sheets from the pile. Aidan stops him by grabbing his arm and makes him turn around, then grabs his shoulders to hold him in place.

“No, you don’t. Dean… you didn’t do anything wrong, ok?” he says meaningfully, looking intently at the nervous blond in front of him. Dean huffs in disagreement.

“I don’t know why I keep embarrassing myself in front of you,” Dean says and covers his face with his hands once again and muffled sobs seem to come out of him. Aidan can’t help but pull him closer to his chest and wrap his arms around Dean; he starts to rub soothing circles on his back, and then brings a hand up to caress the blond curls. Dean seems to relax in his arms.

“It’s alright Dean, calm down, no one’s mad at you. You have done nothing wrong,” he says, trying to reassure Dean.

Aidan feels a strong need to comfort Dean, to tell him he’s good and worthy and he can do no wrong. He can almost feel Dean self depreciating and it disturbs him terribly. How can someone so beautiful and kind and gentle and perfect like Dean, feel so much hate towards himself? What could have possibly happen in his life to turn him into this shy and insecure person? And how can dating an, inconsiderate, selfish, rude, self centered guy like Luke, affect Dean?

Nothing good will come of it for sure.

They stay there for a few more minutes until Dean starts to sniffle. _He really was crying_. Dean looks up at him and his eyes are red and bright with tears, he dries them off with his hands. 

“Thanks,” Dean says and giggles a little. Aidan brings his own hand towards Dean’s face, to dry some remaining moisture from the corner of his eye. 

“Don’t cry. Someone as gorgeous as you shouldn’t be crying.” Aidan lifts Dean’s face with his hand by his chin. Dean smiles shyly.

“Why are you so good to me?” Dean asks as he wipes his running nose with his hand.

“Because you deserve nothing less than that,” Aidan says in a serious tone and looks at Dean intently. “Don’t forget it.” 

For some reason, Aidan thinks it’s important to remind Dean.

“Now, what about some breakfast?” Aidan asks and goes to open the door. 

“I should go,” says Dean and starts looking for something, his jacket he assumes.

“Oh, c’mon, I’ll make it myself, although I warn you, cooking is not my strength.” Dean smiles at that and then his expression turns troubled again.

“What about Luke?” Dean asks.

“What do you mean?”

“What will he think when he sees us coming out of your room together?” Dean asks frowning.

“Oh, that. Don’t worry, he came by when you were asleep to tell me that somehow, you both lost your way last night and ended here in my room, and seemed pretty amused by the fact I didn’t notice and lay down beside you,”

“You sure?” Dean asks timidly.

“Yes and he might think it funny to tease us a little about this, so try to ignore him.” Aidan says nonchalantly and opens the door.

He walks towards the living room where Luke is watching TV, Dean close behind. Stephen, Jed and Jimmy are apparently gone. He doesn’t know about Adam though.

“Oh, look who’s here…” Luke starts to say in a teasing tone.

“Save your bad taste jokes Luke, I already told him exactly what happened,” Aidan cuts in before Luke says anything that might make Dean uncomfortable and walks to the kitchen to make some coffee. There’s some made by Luke but he won’t have Dean drink that horrible thing.

Dean, who has been standing there awkwardly, walks hesitantly towards the couch Luke is sitting on and sits beside him. Aidan watches their exchange and he’s somewhat relived when Luke puts his arm around Dean’s shoulders and kisses him deeply and Dean eagerly latching unto Luke like a koala bear, probably relived Luke wasn’t mad at him. He’s seen Luke being worse than cold and dismissive with others after a night together and couldn’t even imagine what that would do to the kiwi.

Aidan looks about the living room looking for Adam’s form lying about but can’t find him. 

“Did Adam leave?” he asks Luke, who has stopped kissing Dean.

“No, I think he’s still in my room,” Luke answers and takes a cigarette and lights it.

“Oh, so that’s where he went when he found my bed occupied,” he says as a jest but regrets it immediately when Dean visibly hunches down. Luke laughs of course. He’s really mad at Luke but he’ll deal with him later when Dean’s not around.

Aidan looks around the kitchen for something to make breakfast with. Thankfully, there’s some eggs and bread so he makes scrambled eggs with toasts. He makes a plate for Dean, with loads of eggs and toasts and a mug of coffee. 

“Here you go, Dean, enjoy,” Dean smiles sweetly at him.

“Thank you Aidan.”

“What about me?” Luke asks with mock hurt.

“Why would I make breakfast for you? Make your own breakfast,” Aidan snaps in feigned jest though he knows Dean will share his with Luke, that’s why he filled the plate with enough for both of them. 

Aidan sits in Dean’s other side and they start eating, eagerly in Dean’s case as Aidan can see from the corner of his eye and the fact makes him smile.

“Well, Dean will give me some, right Dean?” Luke says and Dean nods smiling and offers his plate for Luke to take some food. Luke takes the offered food and starts eating and everything’s fine, but Luke has to open his big mouth to say something inappropriate.

“It’s too much for you anyway and you shouldn’t eat so much, you are a bit on the softer side,” Luke says and he grabs Dean’s belly as he says it. 

Aidan’s hand holding a toast to take to his mouth stops midway and he stays there open mouthed, frowning. Dean stops eating immediately and he visibly tenses up then puts the plate they were sharing completely in Luke’s hands. Aidan hopes for Dean’s and Luke’s sake, that it was a joke. He looks at Luke and apparently, what he said, wasn’t a joke for he continues eating and watching TV, seemingly unfazed. 

Dean stands up suddenly, grabs his forgotten jacket from the armchair he and Luke sat on last night and puts it on.

“Goodbye Aidan, thanks for breakfast but I have to go…and I’m sorry…for your bed,” he says hastily and stuttering a bit. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Dean.” Aidan looks up at Dean, then at Luke with a murderous look on his face. Luke stands up from the couch to kiss Dean on the lips but Dean moves his face so the kiss ends in his cheek. He’s looking down at the floor with his hands in his pockets. 

Luke frowns at Dean’s lack of response but says nothing and sits back down on the couch and continues eating.

“Bye Dean,” Aidan says and Dean smiles at him sadly and walks to the door, opens it and leaves.

Aidan sits there for a few seconds.

“You are such a jerk, Luke,” he says and stands up and walks to the door.

“What? A diet would do him good” Luke says genuinely thinking he said nothing bad. Aidan only sighs in resignation and exits the house to follow Dean. He’s a bit far away, standing at the bus stop. Aidan runs towards him.

“Dean!” he calls and the blond turns to look at him. The look on his face tells Aidan that what Luke said affected him deeply and his eyes are bright with unshed tears.

“Aidan? What’s wrong?” Dean asks feigning a smile and brushes a hand over his eyes as he waits for Aidan to answer. He’s a little out of breath for the short run but composes himself quickly. 

“Look, Dean, I’m sorry about what Luke said to you…he’s a jerk. Please don’t take what he said to heart.” Aidan says as convincingly as he can manage. Dean’s smile falters and he looks down in shame.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. I wasn’t really hungry anyway and I really have to go,” Dean says, not sounding convincing at all and visibly embarrassed about talking of the subject at hand.

Aidan looks at Dean for a few seconds, thinking about what to say next.

“Dean, I know I don’t really know you, but from what little I’ve gotten from you this past few days, it seems to me that you are a good person, you are kind and considerate… and I know Luke, I’ve known him almost all my life and because he’s my friend I should probably not tell you this about him but I have to, because I know he could hurt you a lot.” 

Dean stands there listening and looking at Aidan. He continues. 

“He’s a jerk, he’s inconsiderate and selfish and too self centered …and he will hurt you, sooner or later, he’ll say hurtful things to you like what he said to you now or worse and he won’t even realize he’s hurt you because that’s the way he is, he doesn’t really care about other people’s feelings. And he’s more of a fling kind of, so try not to get your hopes up.” 

Aidan had planned to be a little bit vaguer in his speech and maybe just advise Dean to take it easy with Luke, but he couldn’t hold himself and spilled everything out.  
He of course feels bad now. He’s supposed to be Luke’s friend and here he is, using every single defect his friend has as an argument to tell Dean why he should not be with Luke.

Dean stays there, absorbing the information, looking everywhere but at Aidan. 

“Aidan, thank you for worrying about me… but you really shouldn’t. I’m fine, really… and no, you shouldn’t say those things about your friend, even less to a stranger.” Dean says smiling at Aidan. Aidan smiles back. 

“Yeah, well, I kind of worry about you a little, I don’t know why.” They look at each other smiling softly. “And we are not strangers, not anymore,” he continues, “I mean, we’ve slept together…I mean… in the same bed,” he corrects when Dean’s eyes widen. “I’ve helped you to the bathroom a couple of times,” Dean laughs at that. “And I’d like to think that we are friends, in a way,” Aidan says looking at Dean, waiting for his reaction. 

“Yes, I’d like to think we are friends too, Aidan,” says Dean, smiling sweetly at him and giggles a little. Aidan smiles back. 

“Well, I’d offer for a ride but I have a feeling you won’t accept it, or will you?” Aidan asks hopefully.

“No thank you, I’ll take the bus,” Dean says and Aidan smiles nodding. 

“Can I at least offer to make you company while you wait for that bus?” he asks as he stares at his shoes with his hands in his pockets. Dean giggles amusedly at Aidan’s shy question and nods when Aidan looks up at him. They wait for about ten minutes, talking and laughing, and if Dean left two buses that served him pass, Luke didn’t have to know.

They say their goodbyes and after a small hug, Dean gets on the bus. Aidan walks home smiling contently and can’t help but think about the way Dean lighted up and relaxed more and more around him while they talked and laughed; he seemed like a whole different person from the shy and self conscious Dean he has met so far. He even joked a little bit. 

Aidan feels butterflies in his stomach when he thinks about Dean’s invitation for a free coffee any day he wants.

He enters the house and closes the door smiling like an idiot, luckily, no one notices. 

Adam is sitting with Luke on the couch eating _his_ breakfast. 

“Hey Aid, good morning” Adam says smiling brightly at him, he looks like he’s dying to ask him where he was but can’t. Not with Luke in the room.

“Good morning. Enjoying my breakfast?” Aidan asks in a teasing tone.

“No actually, it’s kind of yucky and cold, and the coffee needs more sugar, and the toasts are a little too burnt” Aidan laughs loudly at Adam’s depreciation of his cooking skills in his sweet voice. “But I was starving so…”Adam says with a shrug.

“Thanks Adam, I love you too,” Aidan hugs Adam sideways as he sits down beside him. 

“Hey Aidan, did you see my date home?” Luke asks looking smugly at him. He rolls his eyes.

“No. Just to the bus stop. Problem?” he asks and throws a smug look back. Luke smiles and shakes his head in denial.

“No problem at all.” Luke says and they keep staring at each other. Adam looks to his right then to his left and stands up taking his now empty plate to the kitchen and places it in the sink.

“I don’t want to be here if you guys start fighting so I’ll take my leave now.” He puts on his jacket and scarf then walks to the door and is about to open it but stops. 

“I forgot I came here with Jed. Aidan, can you give me a ride? You can fight later.” Adam asks from the door. Aidan breaks his stare contest with Luke and stands up.

“Ok, let me get my jacket.” He nearly froze out there waiting for the bus with Dean but he acted like the cold didn’t affect him much in front of Dean of course, although Dean probably didn’t believe him since he kept insisting he would freeze if he stayed too long out there. It was worth it though.

They get into his car and drive off.

“So what happened? I went to your room last night and I saw them sleeping. I went to tell you but you wouldn’t wake up and in my slightly drunken state it didn’t seem so strange, so I just went to Luke’s and fell asleep almost immediately.” Adam blurts out the minute he sits down on the car without even taking a breath, explaining what happened. He just nods

“I heard you and Dean talking in your room this morning. Did they really have sex in your bed? And did you leave Dean at the bus stop? It would be so sweet of you if you did.”

“Yes, yes and yes,” he says shortly, he’s in no mood for explaining the whole thing to Adam but he knows he has no choice.

“Oh, Aidan c’mon, you have to tell me, in detail, what happened,” Adam insists and Aidan is defeated. He stops at a red light and starts talking.

“Earlier this morning I woke up and went to my room to sleep there ‘cause I was too uncomfortable in the couch and when I get there, there’s someone in my bed, who of course I assumed it was you. Oh, and Luke told me from the bathroom that my bed was occupied… but it never crossed my mind that it wouldn’t be you…” he pauses as the light changes to green and he drives on. “I fell asleep for a few minutes, I don’t know how long but there was someone, you, I thought, lying in my chest and I looked down and it wasn’t you, it was Dean, naked.” Adam’s expression is of pure incredulity. 

“I can’t believe Luke would do something like that. They had sex in your bed!” Adam exclaims exaggeratedly. Aidan rolls his eyes.

“Yes, the worst part is that Luke knows I like Dean, that’s why he’s doing this shit. Maybe he’s trying to make me jealous or something or he’s just doing it to tease me, I don’t even know.” 

“Why would he try to make you jealous, you are his best friend?” Adam says as he takes his glasses off to clean them. Aidan pulls over to Adam’s building and turns of the engine.

“I don’t know.” Aidan says. “I did something bad too though.”

“What did you do?” asks Adam curiously and puts his glasses back on.

“I might have said to Dean that Luke is bad for him in not a very subtle way.” Aidan says with a guilty expression on his face. Adam burst out laughing.

“Seriously?” Adam asks between laughs. Aidan just nods biting his lower lip. “Is that what you were doing at the bus stop?” Aidan nods again.

“C’mon, tell me exactly how it happened, please.” Adam says excitedly.

“Can’t it wait till tomorrow, I’m super tired, I’ve only slept for like ten minutes, not to mention I’m hung-over and starving because you ate my breakfast.” he whines pathetically.

“No, it can’t wait until tomorrow. Do you want to come in and have breakfast then?” Adam offers but he knows Aidan wants to go home so he’ll tell him in the car.

“Alright!” He says, completely defeated. 

“So we were eating breakfast, right… the one I made?” Adam makes a disgusted face. “Oh shut your face! We are eating and I made Dean a plate, not for Luke though, but I knew Dean would share with him so I put a lot of food in it. We start eating and Luke says the worst stupid thing he could ever think off.” He pauses and looks at Adam who is looking intently at him.

“What did he say?” Adam says impatiently. Aidan grips the wheel with force until his knuckles turn white.

“He said that Dean would share with him anyway…and that it was too much food for Dean…and he shouldn’t eat so much since he’s a bit on the …softer side.” Aidan continues to grip the wheel and Adam is staring at him open mouthed.

“It was a joke, right? A very inappropriate joke, but still a joke, right?” Adam says and Aidan sighs.

“Nope.” Aidan lets go of the wheel and scratches his stubble. He shaved a couple of days ago.

“He really is a jerk,” Adam says as if surprised.

“Yes, and Dean felt bad to say the least. He stopped eating instantly and said some excuse that he had to leave right away. Luke even tried to kiss him goodbye but he moved his face away, he just said goodbye and left.” He takes a breath and continues. “I went after him to see if he was ok, you know, and it somehow ended with me telling him Luke is not good for him, that he’ll hurt him and he shouldn’t be with Luke…I’m a terrible friend.” He finishes and looks at his hands, now in his lap.

“No you are not…and how did Dean react?” Adam tries to reassure him but he’s too impatient.

“He said I shouldn’t worry about him…and I shouldn’t say those things about my friend. After that we just talked a little bit till his bus came.” Adam smiles knowingly. “And he invited me to have free coffee any day I want.” He smiles at Adam triumphantly at that.

“Oh that’s great. Now you have to go…and then it will be your turn to invite him somewhere.”

“Maybe,” he says smiling.

“You have to. After Luke’s screw up, Dean probably wants nothing to do with him so it will be ok. Trust me,” Adam says reassuringly and rubs Aidan’s arm. “Ok, now you are free to go. Thanks for the ride,” he says getting out of the car and waves at him smiling as he walks to the door of his building just as a tall man comes out and he almost runs into him. They exchange some words and Adam smiles at the man and the man turns around and starts walking down the street. Adam makes some ridiculous gestures to indicate that that was the bald handsome guy he told him about. Graham, was it? 

He waves back at Adam smiling broadly at his friend.

He gets home and unlocks the door. Luke is walking down the hallway freshly showered.

“Luke. We need to talk about last night.” Aidan says as he takes his jacket of and leaves his keys on the coffee table.

“I already told you, we got kind of lost and somehow ended up in your room,” Luke smirks and walks up to him until they are face to face.

“What are you trying to do, Luke?” he asks with a frown on his face. Luke only smiles.

“I just want you to accept the fact that you want to fuck Dean,” Luke says matter-of-factly.

“I don’t want to ‘fuck’ Dean, get that into your thick head!” Aidan says angrily. He’s got enough of his friend’s shit.

“Oh, that’s right, you don’t want to fuck him…you want to ‘make love to him’, right?” Luke teases, not the least affected by Aidan’s angry tone. “C’mon Aidan, just accept it. You like him.”

“And what if I do, huh? What will you do then, try and make me jealous? What else are you going to do; you’ve already kissed and groped him in front of me. You even had sex with  
him in my bed!” Aidan says agitatedly pointing towards his room.

“I was just trying to make you see what you are missing out on, but I’m not done with him yet, you can have him once I get bored of him,” Luke says in a dismissive way as he walks towards his room.

“We’ll see about that,” he says before Luke enters him room not really sure he heard him.

_He’s your friend; don’t punch him Aidan, not yet at least_. He tries to calm himself and goes to his room. Then opens the door and walks to Luke’s room, holding the bundle of sheets.

“And wash my sheets you fucker!” he yells as he opens Luke’s bedroom door and throws the sheets at his friends head then goes back to his room.


	7. Chapter seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes chapter seven! Enjoy.

The bus ride is fairly short, and Dean gets home about ten minutes later. He enters and sighs, hating to be so alone in his apartment with only his thoughts for company. He walks towards the couch and sits there, thinking about last night and how he got drunk again in front of Luke and his friends, even though he had promised himself he wouldn’t. And even worse, he had sex with Luke in Aidan’s bed!

 _How can I be so stupid?_ , he thinks as he puts his elbows on his knees for support and grabs his head with both hands, the gesture making his head ache and everything to spin. He feels miserable and the thought of what Luke told him this morning makes him feel even worse, but he’s probably right anyway. 

Orlando doesn’t know he’s gay yet and he doesn’t want to tell him. Not yet at least, for he doesn’t know him that well and he’s not sure if he’ll be comfortable with it or not, so when Luke showed up yesterday at the cafe, even though he was really excited, he tried to play it low. 

The fact that such a handsome and confident man is interested in him enough to want see him again made him giddy. Luke invited him to his house for a drinking night with his friends. Dean had been reluctant at first but Luke insisted he should go, telling him that he wanted him there, so Dean happily agreed. It would be good to get to know Luke’s friends anyway if they were starting some sort of relationship, and the thought of seeing Aidan again made him even more excited. He regrets ever going now though; Luke’s friends probably think he’s a drunken slut, and he couldn’t blame them if they did for that’s pretty much all they’ve seen from him.

He makes to take of his jacket with angry movements, huffing in annoyance at himself, but his apartment is probably just as cold as outside, so he decides against it and lies back on the couch. His thoughts drift to Aidan, his anger at himself dissipates and he smiles broadly as he thinks about what the Irish man told him, about wanting to be his friend.

Aidan confuses him. He really likes Luke but the thought of Aidan gives him a warm feeling in his stomach, something he’s never really felt about anyone before. He feels safe with him and more at ease and relaxed than with Luke, and Aidan’s being so good to him from the beginning, not asking for anything in return and not being the least judgmental, which he has every right to be. 

And then there that kiss, a drunken one but no less of a kiss. 

He remembers well enough Aidan’s taste, his musky manly scent, the way those strong hands grabbed his face gently, the feeling of those soft, perfect lips against his, and the subtle scratch of Aidan’s stubble against his cheeks. It seemed like a dream, adding up the foggy effect of the alcohol, and the memory of every sensation sent chills down Dean’s back; the way those hands moved from his face to his hips to pull him closer to Aidan’s taller body, was damn enticing. 

He wanted to surrender completely to Aidan, to simply let go and enjoy every second with the Irish man. It felt great. It felt right. 

_What are you thinking_!? He chastises himself. He shouldn’t be having these thoughts about the man he’s having a ‘relationship’ with best friend. _God, what is wrong with me_. But why does it feel so good to think about Aidan?

Pushing all thoughts of that kiss from his mind, he decides to take a shower and then maybe go for groceries. He’s been putting it off for far too long not wanting to spend too much money, but he needs to for the lunches he eats at work are worse than unhealthy, probably the reason why he’s put on some weight, although he hadn’t really noticed until Luke pointed it out. 

He’ll buy some healthy food and try to avoid eating those greasy lunches with Orlando. 

Once he’s showered and dressed in clean clothes, he puts his jacket back on and leaves the apartment.

As he walks to the grocery store, he can’t stop thinking about what Aidan told him about Luke. 

So far he’s been pretty nice to him, and yeah, maybe he’s not the sweetest guy he’s met or the most gentle, but he could do worse and he’s tired of being alone. And if Luke felt the need to tell him he’s a bit soft, it’s because it’s true. He appreciates honesty and frankness in men, although he could have told him when they were alone. 

It puzzled him though, that Aidan, being his best friend would try and warn him about Luke. Is he really that bad or is Aidan exaggerating? It could be possible too that Aidan doesn’t like him and he’s subtly trying to send him away from his friend because he cares about him and doesn’t want Luke to end up with someone like him.

 _Stop it Dean, Aidan wouldn’t do something like that…right_? 

The thought worries him thought, but he tries to dismiss it. Aidan did offer him friendship, and why would he do something like that if he wanted him away anyway? No, it’s just not possible.

He makes it to the grocery store and grabs a cart. 

He’s pretty lost on what to buy; he’s never been one to watch his weight much so he doesn’t know much about diet products. He knows about salads though so he’ll get some of those, and maybe soup. That’s healthy, right? 

Once he’s got a few things in his cart that seem to be healthy, he goes to the cashier and pays for his food. It’s more than he expected, but if he attempts to get start a diet he needs to leave the greasy stuff. But without the greasy stuff, he hasn’t mush left to eat that’s affordable with his crappy salary. 

_At this rate, I’ll never get my camera_ , he thinks bitterly. He’ll just have to scarify more things, maybe his internet.

He gets back to his apartment and puts his food away, what little he got, and ignoring his grumbling stomach goes to bed. He’ll sleep for a few hours before work. He has a late shift anyway.

He wakes up forty minutes before work and goes to the bathroom to try and tame his wild curls a little. No such luck.

He inspects himself in the mirror. His eyes are puffy and red and there are serious bags under his eyes, but that’s not all. Luke left another love bite in his neck, more visible this time.

 _Crap, how am I going to cover this?_ , he thinks as he inspects it but there’s not much he can about it, so he leaves it. Then, taking the mirror form the wall he puts it on the toilet so he can inspect the rest of his body. He’s not pleased at the sight. His belly is noticeably even when he’s not relaxing it. Luke is right apparently for he feels some softness in his sides too. 

_No wonder Luke had to point it out_.

He feels so embarrassed, Luke is all muscles and six packs and probably spends most of his free time in the gym, how can he even want to have sex with him? 

He’s definitely getting on a diet.

Putting the mirror back, he goes to the kitchen and takes a glass of water. He puts on his jacket and leaves the apartment.  
He gets to the cafe and greets Orlando.

“How you’ve been, did you have fun yesterday? Already making friends?” asks the brunette as he makes some coffee.

“Yes, I had a great time, thank you. And you?” he asks back as he ties his apron around his waist. 

“Just watched some movies with my girlfriend.” Orlando says and gives him the coffee and Dean puts it in a tray with a piece of cake and takes it to one of the tables. He then clears a table a couple just left available and then comes back, setting the tray with the used cups and plates in the sink of the small kitchen.

“Good. Is she better from that cold?” he asks and they engage in trivial conversation. 

Since the café is so small there’s not much room for too many customers, but it’s still kind of busy. Dean has to go back and forth all day. 

It’s seven and he’s still got an hour to go home, but at least the number of customers has diminished significantly and there are only two tables occupied. 

“Bye, Dean. See you tomorrow,” Orlando says goodbye and Dean is left alone waiting the remaining tables. 

He’s really tired, his head hurts and he’s felt a bit faint all afternoon. He probably should have had breakfast, or lunch, or anything. He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday at lunch and half a toast today for breakfast and loads of alcohol. He dismissed those thoughts for if he wants to lose a little bit of weight, he has to eat less, and leave alcohol too.

The door opens and closes and he sighs, _Great, one more table to wait on_. 

He’s got his back turned from the door and he’s tidying the menus, when a deep voice in a thick Irish accent says his name.

“Dean.” 

He turns around to greet the owner of that gorgeous voice. Aidan is there, standing with his glove clad hands in the counter, wearing a thick jacket. His wild curls even wilder from the wind and his cheeks rosy form the cold. He looks gorgeous.

“Aidan, hi.” He smiles broadly at the Irish man in front of him.

“How are you Dean?” Aidan asks with that huge smile of his.

“I’m fine, kind of tired but…better now,” he says shyly and looks down at the counter, not wanting to show how happy and exited he really is at seeing Aidan again so soon.

“Great. You know, I was at home doing nothing and getting bored and then I remembered your invitation for free coffee, and I just had this uncontrollable crave for some,” he says smiling and gesturing exaggeratedly. Dean smiles even broader if possible. 

He thanks the gods Orlando taught him how to make most of the coffees; he’s not that good at it but he’s still learning though.

“Anything you want in particular? I’m not really good at making them yet; my partner is great at it, but he just left. He’s teaching me though.” He probably should have made the invitation for when he got better at it, but he senses Aidan won’t really mind.

“Anything you recommend?” Aidan asks as he takes his gloves off looking at him. Dean’s knees go weak as he looks at Aidan’s brown eyes. They have a green touch in them when he’s out in the sun light, but in here, they look really dark.

“Uhm…I can make an ok cappuccino… Actually, it’s the one I can make better,” he’s says smiling nervously. 

“Then that’s exactly what I want.” Aidan stands there, smiling and looking intently at him. Dean can only stare back and he stays there for a few seconds.

“Oh, sit there in the counter…I mean… in the chairs by the counter…I’ll go make it right away,” he says finally as he snaps out his trance like state and hides behind the coffee machines to make the best cappuccino he can manage with his lack of experience. 

_Calm down Dean!_ , he snaps at himself as his trembling hands make the cup he’s holding clatter. 

“Crap” he curses as he burns his hand a little.

“Everything ok back there?” Aidan asks in a slightly worried tone.

“Yes, it’s fine. I’ll be right there.” Dean says as he finishes the last touches and tries to make some decoration in the foam like Orlando taught him and it turns out to be shaped like a heart. _Fuck_.

“Here you go; a cappuccino on me,” he says and he smiles as he throws the dish cloth he used to clean the mess he made in the cup with over his shoulder. “I just hope it’s not terrible… tell me if it is.”

………………………………………..

 

Aidan wants to laugh at how adorable Dean looks right now. He’s smiling sheepishly, a little bit proud of his coffee. He bends his head a little to smell it. It smells delicious and it looks great.

“Ow, did you draw a heart in my foam?” Aidan asks teasingly. If it is though, he’ll die of cuteness overload. Dean giggles as little and looks down.

“I…yes, it is… sorry.” Aidan feels like dying, this shy kiwi is going to be the death of him. 

He takes the cup and brings it to his lips and takes a small sip from the hot drink. It’s perfect, definitely the best cappuccino he’s ever tasted. Not that it has anything to do with the fact that the angel in front of him made it. 

_Angel, Aidan? Really?_. Well, Dean does look like an angel, so why not. He has to push away the indecent thoughts about Dean wearing a pair of white wings …and nothing more. He snorts at the thought, but feels slightly aroused by it too. 

He looks up when Dean speaks again trying to hide his blush.

“So, is it too terrible? I can make you another if you’d like, though it might not improve much.” Aidan shakes his head, licking the remaining foam from his lips.

“Dean, it’s perfect, ok. It’s the best cappuccino I’ve ever had,” he says truthfully. Dean only smiles shyly.

“I’m glad you liked it. So it really doesn’t suck?” Aidan nods.

“I love it… and no Dean, it really doesn’t suck.” Dean smiles happily. 

“Oh, wait here,” the kiwi says and disappears under the counter. He appears again with a plate and goes to the other side. When he comes back, he’s carrying the same plate with a piece of chocolate cake, his absolute favorite.

“Are you kidding me?” Aidan asks as Dean brings a fork and puts it on the plate, beside the cake.

“I hope you like chocolate,” he smiles and cleans his hands on his cute dark green apron. Aidan has to take a moment. 

_Is he trying to make me fall in love with him_?

“Thank you, Dean,” is all he can say, but he wants to say so much more, he wants to tell the blond that since he met him, his whole life changed, that he’ll never be the same again and that he’d never felt this strongly about anyone before… and that he loves him. _I love him_?!

“You are welcome. I owe you anyway, for being so nice to me,” Dean says and Aidan feels a pang of anger. Why does he think he owes me for treating him right? 

He would love to have the asshole that made Dean feel this way in front of him, and beat the shit out of them.

“You don’t owe me anything Dean; I’m just treating you the way you deserve. You deserve to be treated nicely, and you don’t have to give anything in return for that.” He looks deeply at the blond. Dean looks at him nervously, like he doesn’t believe his words. 

“Thank you, Aidan,” Aidan vows to make Dean believe them, even if he can only tell him as a friend, he’ll make sure to tell him how worthy he is, every chance he gets. 

He nods at Dean and takes a bite of the cake and it’s heavenly. Dean didn’t make it but he brought it to him so that’s and extra plus. 

“This is so good. How did you know chocolate cake is my favorite?” he asks between mouthfuls of cake.

“Not so hard, it’s almost everyone’s favorite, I just took a shot, besides, that’s the best cake in this cafe so…” Dean smiles sweetly and Aidan wants to kiss him again. Oh, how good it felt to have Dean in his arms, even for a little while. He smiles at the memory.

“Wait here, those people in the corner are asking for the check, I’ll be right back.” As he walks away, Aidan turns around to check the blonds’ retreating form, his gaze casually runs down Dean’s back and loses itself in that perfect bum. Thank God Dean comes back with a tray in his hand and his eyes focused on the floor, careful not to trip, otherwise he would have noticed Aidan’s dumbfounded expression. He composes himself quickly though.

The rest of the costumers ask for the check too and it’s about ten minutes before Dean is off for the day, so he’ll obviously wait for him, and maybe give him a ride home.  
Dean has to clean the tables and tidy everything up. Clean the floors and the counter. The kitchen is cleaned by some other guy Aidan can’t see from where he’s sitting, who Dean called Mark. He gets up to help Dean, taking the mop he brought from the kitchen of the blonds’ hands, who reluctantly hands it over.

“Just go and clean the counter, I’ll handle the floors.” Dean is standing there sort of perplexed as Aidan starts to mop the floors in deep concentration.

“Thank you Aidan,” he thanks him and goes behind the counter to clean the machines and the counter itself, taking the remaining cups and plates to the kitchen before he gets to it.

“So, have you talked with your friends from New Zealand lately?” Aidan asks wanting to know as much as he can from the blond.

“Um, not lately…I’ve been busy and the time difference is a bitch, so it’s been hard to get in touch, besides I might need to get rid off my internet,”

“Really, Why?” Aidan asks with a frown on his face.

“Oh you know, I’m trying to save as much money as possible to try and get my camera,” he says as he cleans the machines carefully.

“Oh, right, and how is that going?” he asks interested.

“Uhm… still a couple of hundreds away, but I´m getting closer.” He smiles hopefully.

“That’s great. When you get it I can pose for you, you know, look at this,” he says and starts to pose ridiculously with the mop. “Tell me I’m not a piece of artwork.” Dean burst out laughing as Aidan continues to make poses, each more ridiculous than the one before. 

“I can’t…” Dean says barely able to breathe. 

“Sure you can’t, I’m too handsome.” Aidan stares smiling at Dean who is trying to compose himself. He looks so beautiful, and so happy, and it’s really rewarding to know he was the cause of it. 

They are finally done and Dean says goodbye to Mark. Aidan is waiting outside for Dean. When Dean exits the coffee shop they stand there, staring at each other.

“I brought my car, let me give you a ride,” Aidan says and Dean smiles, nodding.

They walk side by side towards Aidan’s car, talking and laughing. Aidan doing most of the talking and Dean most of the laughing.

They arrive to Dean’s apartment and Aidan doesn’t want to say goodbye. Dean neither apparently.

“Uhm, do you want to come upstairs…maybe?” Dean asks timidly. Aidan smiles broadly.

“Yes, I’d love to,”

……………………………………………………………….

 _What am I doing_? He thinks, as they walk up the stairs. He looks for his key in his jacket and opens the door slowly, feeling very self conscious about his apartment.

“I’m sorry but my place is not very nice” he says as he enters.

“Oh, c’mon Dean, I don’t care about that,” Aidan says as he enters. He unzips his jacket and takes it off, placing it in one of the armchairs as he looks about the apartment. Dean looks nervously at Aidan. 

“It’s not that bad, nothing a good painting can’t fix.” He says and start walking around and inspecting the walls and floors. Dean thinks he’s going to die of embarrassment but then he remembers Aidan’s a builder, so he’s just using his critical eye to see what can be done to improve and renovate.

“This carpet might need changing, it’s pretty old, and you should retile the kitchen floor. I could help you, free of charge of course.” He says as he turns around to smile at Dean. 

“I could never accept that,” he says hesitant.

“Of course you can, and you will, I won’t take no for an answer. I can even get you paint for a very low price. And there were lots of tiles left from the last house I worked in, they gave them to me and since I have no need of them, I’ll give them to you.” Dean stands there looking at Aidan with a dumb expression.

“But why would you…” Dean tries to say.

“Because I can, and because I want to,” Aidan cuts him in.

“Thank you Aidan, just…thank you,” he smiles and looks at his shoes.

“You are welcome, Dean. We can start whenever you’d like. I’m free tomorrow,” Aidan says enthusiastically.

“Tomorrow’s perfect,” he says and takes off his jacket.

They continue talking and laughing and Dean offers to watch a movie on his laptop but they end up seeing Dean’s tons of pictures from New Zealand and from his friends.

“Who is that?” Aidan asks as he puts some chips in his mouth and points at the man in the screen.

“That’s Jared. He’s my best friend; I’ve known him for like ten years. And that’s Ben, my second best friend. He was my ex boyfriend friend and…well things didn’t turn out well and Ben supported me a lot so he kind of became my friend.

“And who is that little guy you are hugging?” Aidan asks when a picture of him with his baby appears.

“Oh, that’s Batman, he’s my dog. I had to leave him…Ben is taking care of him, till I come back,” he says and his eyes fill with tears as he thinks about his dog. He misses him so much.

…………………………………

 

Aidan looks at Dean as he talks about his friends and loves how his all self lights up, that until his dog Batman appears in the screen. His whole posture changes and those beautiful blue eyes fill with tears. Aidan’s heart breaks a little at the sight. Dean misses his home, his friends and his dog, and he’s alone in a foreign country; he can’t even imagine what Dean must feel like. 

“Oh, come here,” he says sweetly and puts an arm around Dean’s shoulders and pulls him toward his chest. Dean relaxes against him and breaks down. 

“Shh, it’s ok Dean, its fine,” he reassures the blond as he sobs against his chest. He runs his fingers through the silky golden strands and the movement makes that fruity smell reaches his nostrils, he loves that smell. After a few moments of sobbing and sniffling, Dean seems to be composing himself and he detaches himself from Aidan’s body.

“I’m sorry; I just…miss them so much… Batman, Jared…I feel so alone here,” Dean’s teary voice says as he dries his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“I can’t imagine how you must feel, I miss my family too, but I was lucky enough to come here with Luke, he was my neighbor when we were little, well, I was little, and about ten years ago, he came back to his country and I came with him, so I wasn’t really alone. Besides, Ireland is very close from here, I visit them regularly. I don’t think I could have done what you did, coming here so far away from your home, completely alone, that takes courage.” He says as Dean seems to have trouble talking again, to fill in the void.  
“I…thank you. But most of the time it feels too much and… all I want to do is get a flight and go home, but I don’t even know what I would do there, I just…I don’t know what to do.” Dean says and his voice tears up again. Aidan rubs soothing circles over Dean’s back. 

Aidan realizes Dean hasn’t told him anything about his family and they didn’t appear in the pictures so far. He wants to know, but something tells him it’s a sore subject and he refrains himself form asking. 

“Dean, if you are so miserable here, then why did you move?” he dares to ask. Dean is drying his tears with his cute little fingers and sniffling, his nose stuffy from crying, and when he speaks again his voice sounds very nasal.

“I…had a bad break up…well…a bad relationship, had it for years, and we broke up and got back together more times than I can remember. He was…not very nice to me, and I was really alone at the time so I just let him treat me the way he wanted. He was the only one I had apart from Jared, and I really needed someone, and he was there, and he was good to me at first, but things changed.”

Dean paused and took a deep breath. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he assures the kiwi as he continues to rub his back.  
“I want to,” Dean says as he dries more tears from his eyes with both hands

“Ok, take your time,” he says as he waits for Dean to continue talking.

“He started to ignore me; he wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to talking to him. He would come home late or leave suddenly without even telling me where he was going or where he had been. Then he’d start to get mad for stupid things, like he wanted a reason to be mad at me, and he would tell me how he could find someone better than me, that he deserved better and that I should be thankful that he still accepted me. He called me ugly …or stupid and useless. He started having an affair… I never saw him, just from afar, but he wouldn’t even care I knew, so I left him… and we would be apart for a few days. I would stay with Jared in that time, but then he would come… and he’d tell me he wanted to be with me, that he missed me and…he loved me…and it would start all over again. Afterwards I wouldn’t’ even leave, I would just stay and take it.” Dean pauses again but he doesn’t say anything not wanting to interrupt him, for Dean looks like he’s got a lot more to say.

“There were times, when I would come home from hanging out with Jared or something, and he would be there, in our bed with someone else. They were just a onetime thing; people he’d met at bars, and he didn’t care that I was in the house…and I would just wait till he was done…and the worst part is that I believed him, I believed everything he told me. I believed I was worthless, that I didn’t deserve any better, that he was the only one who could want me,” he says and his voice breaks again and more tears come.

Aidan doesn’t even want to move, afraid he’ll make Dean regret telling him all this, that he’ll stop and ask him to leave, but he knows Dean needs this; he needs to let it all out. 

“And, a few months ago, Jared had enough and he and Ben sat me down and told me I had to leave him; that this couldn’t go on, and that they would help me. They even bought my plane ticket, and Ben knows the owner of the cafe I work at… I had to sell my camera though, to afford a couple months of rent. And I had to leave Batman…” he finishes and smiles sadly.

“And…what about your family?” he asks before he can stop himself. _Good one, Aid_. Dean stays quiet and takes a deep breath again. Aidan waits patiently.

“They…uh…weren’t too happy when I told them about…being gay. They weren’t happy… my parents… they wanted me away from my brother. My father told me he never wanted to see me again, so I had to leave home. I haven’t seen them for so many years…I can barely remember their faces. I don’t have any pictures of them.” He stays quiet and when it seems unlikely he will say anything more, Aidan wraps his arms around Dean again and Dean leans into the hug. 

He understands so much about Dean now; his shyness, his almost complete lack of self esteem; his insecure personality. 

“Ok, that’s enough crying for today” Dean says giggling a little as he wipes the few tears that fell from the last hug. He closes his laptop and sniffles then crosses his arms over his chest, shivering.

“I’m sorry, Dean, about your family and…that bastard.” Dean laughed at that. 

“He IS a bastard,” he says as if he were saying it for the first time and smiles at Aidan. “Thank you for listening… I hope I didn’t bore you too much,” 

“Are you kidding? Of course you didn’t bore me, and I’m happy to listen. You look like you needed that,” he says smiling and bumps Dean shoulder with his own.

“Yeah,” he says simply.

“And Dean…You didn’t deserve any of those things. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be with someone who can appreciate how great you are…and…I’m sorry but, Luke is not the right guy.” Dean smiles wryly and nods.

“Maybe you are right,” he says and stands up from the couch and Aidan stands up too. 

“Aidan,” Dean says and he looks up at him, the kiwi looks deathly pale and he has a confused look on his face and he’s staring straight ahead.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” the blond looks up at him and gives two step towards him and passes out. Aidan catches him right away. 

“Oh shit, Dean!” he shakes the blond in his arms a little but there’s no response. Aidan gently, places Dean’s limp body on the couch on his back and then takes both his legs to lift them.

“Dean, wake up, can you hear me?” he nervously asks trying to wake the blond as he rubs both legs. “Dean!” A couple of minutes later the blond opens his eyes.

“Oh, Dean, thank God. Are you ok?” he asks looking at Dean worriedly.

Dean takes both hands to his head and rubs his eyes. He still looks pretty confused.

“My head hurts. What happened,” he asks as he looks up at Aidan. He’s shivering again.

“You fainted for a couple of minutes and scared the shit out of me,” 

“Really?” he asks and Aidan lowers his legs. 

“Yes Really.” Dean tries to sit up and Aidan stops him putting a hand on his chest.

“I’m fine,” he says and tries to sit up again and this time, Aidan lets him.

“Have you eaten today at all?” he asks. He’s been with Dean since this afternoon and it’s 10:30 already an he hasn’t seen Dean eat a bite.

“Um…I…” Dean says and tries to think and Aidan shakes his head. He probably hasn’t.

“When did you eat last?” he asks sternly. He feels like a mother preaching their child.

“Maybe…yesterday?” Dean says hesitant. Aidan thinks about this morning and how Dean only ate half a toast before Luke and his big mouth made him stop. Besides, all the crying might have affected him too.

“Dean, you have to eat.” He says as he gets up and goes to the kitchen to inspect it, trying to find something edible. He can only find some vegetables and instantaneous soup. 

“Don’t you have any real food here?” he asks and Dean looks at him frowning from the couch as he looks inside the counters.

“That’s it; I’m calling for take out.” He says and before Dean can protest, he’s calling for some Thai food.

The food gets there and they eat it, watching TV. Dean eating small portions at first but Aidan would have none of it so he ends up eating half of everything, like Aidan demands him to do.

Suddenly, Dean’s phone starts to vibrate and Dean gets really uncomfortable. It must be Luke. The phone keeps ringing but Dean doesn’t seem to want to answer.

“Aren’t you going to answer?” Dean stares at his phone and then at Aidan.

“It’s Luke.” Dean says and Aidan gets up from the couch and fetches his jacket.

“Then you should get that.” Dean nods at him and looks at the screen again.

“I’m gonna go. Goodbye Dean. See you tomorrow?” he says, not forgetting his promise to Dean to help him renovate his apartment. Dean looks up at him, smiling sweetly and nodding.

“See you tomorrow and thank you for everything,” Aidan smiles back and as Dean gets up from the couch to hug him goodbye, he moves towards the blond and they hug for long minutes. It’s Dean who breaks the hug as he doesn’t really want to let go of the blond.

“Bye.” Dean walks to the door to open it.

“Bye.” He says back and exits the apartment.


	8. Chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter eight!  
> There's some smut in this chapter...I got a little carried away :I Also, there's some Noncon/Dubcon at some point D: So you are warned.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean closes the door behind Aidan and leans against the door sighing. He can still feel Aidan’s strong arms around his body, his manly scent and the rumble of his deep voice, as he pressed himself against the Irish man’s chest, running through his body. And now that Aidan’s strong presence has left, his apartment feels ten times lonelier than normal. 

He pushes himself away from the door and goes to the couch, letting his body fall forward until he’s lying down, then turns around to lie on his back. He looks at his stained ceiling and rubs his brow with his hand.

He can’t believe he spilled everything about his past to Aidan. Though a big part of him feels really good about it, like confiding in Aidan has brought them closer, and he really likes that. 

He has known Aidan for like what, two weeks? It’s amazing how connected and safe he feels with the Irish man, almost as if he’s known Aidan all his life. He can even act like himself around him, and he really wants to be his friend, even though he’s having more than just friendly thoughts and feelings towards Aidan. 

His cell phone vibrating interrupts his train of thought and he sits up hurriedly, stupidly thinking that the person calling is somehow Aidan so he doesn’t even look at the screen. 

“Hi,”

He’s wrong for Luke’s voice is the one that greets him, not Aidan’s..

“Hello there cutie, are you busy?” Luke says and Dean’s heart rate shoots up. _He doesn’t even have your number, you idiot_.

He can’t say anything.

“Dean? Are you there?” Luke tries again.

“Uhm, yes. Hi Luke,” he finally says nervously, standing up from the couch and starts pacing about the tiny living room grabbing at his hair with his free hand; guilt eating at him for having those thoughts about Aidan while being with Luke.

“Hey. So are you busy?” Dean doesn’t know what to say, he wants to say he is, but he can’t think of any excuse.

“Not really, I was just going to bed, I’m kind of tired” he says, hoping Luke will take the hint.

“Great, I’ll join you then,” he says and hangs up. Dean’s heart skips a beat and a few seconds later he’s still holding the phone against his ear when there’s knocking on the door, indicating that Luke is standing outside of his door.

A pang of fear curses through his body as the idea that Luke probably saw Aidan leaving and he is coming to beat the shit out of him for cheating him crosses his mind.  
 _What are you thinking? That’s crazy_.

He walks over to the door to open it but hesitates.

“Dean, Are you in there?” Luke asks from the other side of the door as he knocks again. Dean takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“Hi, Luke,” he greets nervously as he moves backwards, trying to put some distance between them.

“Thought you were trying to hide from me…or are you hiding someone?” he says teasingly as he closes the door. Dean’s guts turn into a knot.

“No…of course not,” he says stuttering a little bit. He looks at the coffee table and the wrappings of the Thai food they ate with Aidan. It’s a mess, but there are lots of containers so it doesn’t really look like two people ate, it kind of looks like a crowd of people ate, or just one messy bastard. “I was just eating dinner…”

_Great, Luke is really going to think he is a pig now_.

“You ate all this alone?” Luke asks as he inspects the contents on the table, raising an eyebrow and looking curiously at him. _Shit! He knows I was with someone_.

“There were just…leftovers…I…didn’t eat all of it,” he says trying to sound as convincing as possible, but failing miserably.

“Really?” Luke asks and walks slowly towards him. He nods and unconsciously gives a step back. The feeling in his gut hasn’t left him, if only, it intensifies. Luke reaches him and he hunches his shoulders. He doesn’t even know what he’s expecting Luke to do, but he’s terrified. He feels the arms snake around his waist as he closes his eyes and he’s pulled against the strong chest. A hand lifts his head by his chin and soft, warm lips meet his own. He relaxes and melts in Luke’s embrace, lifting his arms to lock around Luke’s neck, the weird feeling in his stomach disappearing almost completely. The arms around his waist move lower and hands grip the soft flesh of his hips. _His softness_. He jerks away from Luke’s embrace, feeling really self conscious about his body and walks towards the coffee table to clean the boxes and packages. 

“What’s wrong?” Luke asks as he follows Dean and before he reaches the table, grabs him from behind and pulls him flush against his chest. Dean lets out a surprised squeak.  
“Don’t run away from me,” Luke’s deep voice speaks against his ear and Dean’s knees go weak.

“I’m not…” he says weakly. Luke’s hands move from where they are circling his waist and start to caress his chest and his nipples over his shirt. He can feel Luke’s hardness against the small of his back so he leans further against the taller body. The hands continue caressing him downward, until they reach his belly and they lift his shirt and snake under to touch the skin there. Dean instinctively grabs Luke’s hands and guides them away from his body. Luke is having none of that.

“I want to touch you.” Luke says in a hushed tone as he pries his hands off of Dean’s and puts them back under Dean’s shirt, touching and caressing Dean’s tender skin. Dean tenses his muscles trying to flatten his belly; it doesn’t help the fact that he’s recently stuffed himself with Thai food.

“Don’t…touch me there,” he says shyly as he takes Luke’s hands away from his belly again.

“Why not?” Luke asks confusedly and he starts kissing the side of Dean’s neck.

“I…don’t want you to,” he says simply and turns in Luke’s embrace so he’s now facing him and his belly is hidden between both their bodies. Luke looks curiously at him and smiles. He leans down and captures Dean’s soft lips with his own. Dean eagerly kisses back.

_Why does he even want me_? He asks himself but the deepening of the kiss distracts him from that thought.

They kiss for long minutes, Luke’s hands under Dean’s shirt, but they are caressing his back and moving down to cup his bottom, thankfully not coming near his belly.

They take it to the bedroom, not separating from each other, continuing to kiss. The lights are off but the light coming from the living room lights up the bedroom. 

Luke takes Dean’s shirt off and pushes him harshly towards the bed. Dean falls with a thud and lets out another involuntary squeak. He looks up at Luke with a questioning look on his face.

“Sorry, didn’t measure my strength,” is all he says. He goes to turn the light on but Dean stops him.

“Don’t! Leave them off,” he says a little bit more desperate than he intended.

“No. I want to see you,” he says and turns them on. Dean immediately grabs his shirt and covers himself.

“Why are you suddenly so shy with your body, c’mon, take that thing off, I want to see you,” Luke says and grabs the shirt from his hands and snatches it from his body, so he wraps his arms around his middle. 

Luke seems to not notice and proceeds to take off his own shirt, and pants, and underwear. He can only stare at the defined lean muscles, the slight six packs and the strong chest muscles and biceps…and his long and thick, fully erected member. _How does it even fit_? 

He has seen him naked before of course, but never got much chance to really appreciate Luke’s body, being drunk most times they had sex or Luke being too eager and taking him right at the spot, before they can even take their clothes off completely. Luke smiles wickedly at his obvious adoration.

“See anything you like?” He can only nod dumbly.

“Me too,” he says and throws himself at Dean, forcing him to lie back on the bed as Luke crawls over him. He feels trapped, like a prey about to be devoured, and he wants to be, badly; his self consciousness about his belly now completely forgotten. 

Luke sits back between his legs when he spreads them almost on instinct to allow the man access to his most private areas. 

He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back as he feels hands unbuckling his belt and throwing it somewhere in the room, then they unbutton his pants and pull them off along with his briefs, Dean having to lift his butt in the process- Now he lies there, completely naked.

“There you are…all ready for me,” Luke says as he throws his pants and underwear to the floor. Dean opens his eyes to look at him.

“How eager are you for my cock? How badly do you want me inside you?” He asks and grabbing him by the hips, Luke pulls him down so he slides on the bed to end up flushed against Luke’s lap, both his legs on either side of Luke. The action and the seductive voice asking those indecent questions combined sends chills down Dean’s spine. He feels so vulnerable he starts to tremble; from want or fear, he doesn’t know, all he knows is that right now, he’s Luke’s. 

The brunette bends over him and brings his mouth towards his neck and starts to place open mouthed kisses and soft bites on the tender flesh there, he leans his head back to expose more skin to that expert mouth; the stubble in Luke’s face rubbing his skin, making him shiver. 

He lifts his hands to touch the beautiful body over him hesitantly; he runs his hands over every toned muscle in Luke’s chest, trying to feel as much as he can and in a way, the act makes him feel less vulnerable. 

Luke presses his full erection down against his own smaller one as he bites down hard on his neck. He lets out a yelp of surprise mixed with pleasure.

“You haven’t answered me,” Luke whispers against his ear.

“What?” Dean asks confusedly. He hadn’t expected Luke to take his time with him, driving him over the edge and mad with want before fucking him, and the fact throws him off completely. 

“Tell me how badly you want my cock inside you,” he says slowly in a voice thick with want and he brings his erection down against his again, more forcefully this time. He yelps again.

“I…want you…I want you bad…want you inside me now,” he answers, embarrassed to say those words so he turn his face to the side hiding his face from Luke.

“Then I’ll fuck you now, so hard and so deep you won’t be able to sit in a week,” Luke says and Dean whimpers. He sits back again and takes one of Dean’s wrists on each hand and pushes them against the bed, one on each side of his head, as he crawls on all fours over Dean and with his knees he pushes Dean’s thighs further apart. Dean looks up at Luke between half lidded eyes, panting hard, eager for what’s to come. 

The hands holding his wrists lift them over his head. Luke takes both wrists in his right hand only and presses them hard against the bed. With his free hand he caresses Dean’s face and then his lips, red and swollen from all the kissing. He leans down and brings his mouth against the abused lips and kisses them harshly. Dean moans in Luke’s mouth. Luke’s free hand travels downward to Dean’s chest and start pinching the sensitive rosy buds mercilessly. Dean whimpers in his high pitched voice as he tries to free his wrists from Luke’s grip but to no avail and he lifts his hips trying to get some friction on his painfully hard cock. 

 

He closes his eyes and all the sensations intensify, almost becoming too much for him to bear. 

His nipples are left alone as the hand travels down his chest and over his stomach, it feels every rib as if counting them and Dean starts to pant. It travels further down over his belly button, down his pelvis and it grips his hard cock. Dean moans wantonly, and lifts his hips again to meet Luke’s hand and increase the sensation. Luke starts to pump him slowly, at a tortuous pace. Dean can’t take it anymore, he wants, needs more, so he starts begging.

“Please…Luke, please” he begs and Luke smiles.

“What is it? What do you need?” he asks knowingly.

“You…I need you…please,” Luke smiles wickedly.

“And what do you need from me?” Luke has stopped pumping him and is only gripping his cock loosely forcing Dean to lift his hips again, desperate for more contact.

“I need you to…touch me,” he wants Luke to suck him, but he’ll never dare to ask that.

“Where…” he asks as he grips Dean’ cock a little bit tighter.

“There…” he whines.

Luke’s hand is now gripping his cock almost painfully, his other hand lets go of Dean’s wrists and brings it down to cup Dean’s sack. Dean wails form pleasure and brings his own hands to his cock to try and touch himself but Luke slaps them away He closes his eyes again and brings one of his hands to tangle his fingers in his hair and the other to grip the sheets to give them something to do, for he knows Luke likes to make him come on his cock only. 

He closes his eyes and continues to moan and whimper and now writhe on the bed at Luke’s ministrations. Suddenly, he feels pressure on his hole as Luke’s finger breaches him, spit as the only lubricant, so it burns a little. Luke buries the finger to the knuckle in one single thrust, picking up his usual pace. Dean cries out and brings his hands to Luke’s shoulder to bury his nails in them trying to make him slow down. A second finger, a third and they start to pump in and out of Dean, fucking him. Dean groans in pain and pushes down to meet Luke’s thrusts and make the fingers reach that spot inside him that’ll drive him mad with pleasure and make him forget the pain.

Luke withdraws his fingers and Dean whines in frustration. He looks up at Luke pleadingly and Luke smiles, putting his hands under Dean’s thighs, he lifts them and pushes them against Dean’s chest, exposing the quivering hole completely to his hungry eyes.

“There’s the little one,” Luke says as he admires Dean’s pink hole. Dean blushes at the pet name for his hole.

Luke instructs Dean to grab the pale thighs with his hands and hold them up, which he does; he then takes a condom, opens the package with his teeth and rolls it on; then he takes the vial of lube from somewhere beside him, opens it and pours a generous amount of the liquid on his hand then throws the vial on the bed. He coats his massive erection with it and then brings his fingers to Dean’s opening, coating it with lube too. Dean can only stare with heavy lidded eyes, panting, waiting for Luke to take him.

Luke takes his erection in one hand, guiding it towards Dean’s hole and with his other hand he grips Dean’s hip with bruising force. He can feel the head of Luke’s erection against him and he screws his eyes shut. He knows Luke likes to enter him in one swift thrust so he prepares for the intrusion, and he’s not disappointed for in one second, Luke is balls deep and he can only grunt out at the uncomfortable feeling. He stays unmoving now, waiting for Dean to get used to his girth. 

“Please move…do something,” he begs after a few minutes, in a tight voice. He wishes Luke would take more time to prepare him for the stretching feeling is almost unbearable.

“Are you sure?” Luke asks and after a nod from Dean he withdraws completely and thrusts back in over and over again with brutal force. Dean whimpers and cries out in pleasure as the forceful, well aimed thrusts, causes Luke’s cock to brush against his prostate repeatedly. 

“...pleasee…uhng…please,” Dean is so far gone from the waves after waves of pleasure he can’t even form a sentence.

“What? What do you want?” Luke asks as he leans downs flush against Dean’s chest and the skin on skin contact makes Dean moan louder. He brings his hands behind Luke’s back and he starts to scratch at the skin, bringing Luke closer. Luke continues to thrust in and out of Dean and he bends over and kisses him deeply.

“…please…more…Aidan, please” Luke stops abruptly and stays buried deep inside. 

Dean, panting and moaning, starts to writhe and whine at Luke’s lack of movement. He makes to move his hands down to touch himself but Luke takes both his wrists again and pins them over his head.

“Please…” he begs impatiently and writhing wantonly as best he can with Luke’s weight pining him down when Luke fails to move again, his erection painfully trapped between their bodies.

“Did you just call me Aidan?” Dean’s blood runs cold. He snaps his eyes open and looks up fearfully at Luke who is studying him with an unreadable expression on his face. Did he really say Aidan’s name? How can he be so stupid?

_I’m fucked, I’m really fucked_ he thinks, panicking and tries to wiggle away from Luke, but Luke won’t let him move.

“Tell me…did you really say Aidan’s name while I fucked you,” he asks again and Dean can only stay there, staring fearfully at Luke who starts moving slowly and thrusting deeper, brushing against the bundle of nerves and making Dean moan involuntarily.

“No…please.” He tries to make Luke stop. Dean bites his lips to stifles his moans and whimpers as Luke continues to thrust in and out. Tears start to gather in his eyes.

“Are you thinking about Aidan right now?” Luke asks as he forcefully thrusts in.

“No…please…Luke, I’m sorry,” he says shaking his head. “I’m not.”

“Do you imagine its Aidan’s dick inside you instead of mine?” Luke continues to tease him and continues to fuck him. Dean looks up at Luke pleadingly, who smiles wickedly at him.

“No,” he sobs and shakes his head, trying to make Luke believe him.

“I bet you want Aidan to fuck you, just like I fuck you. Don’t you slut?” Dean cries at the insult and tries to pry his wrists out of Luke’s grip. He’s scared, scared at what Luke might do to him.

“I’m sorry…please…Luke, I’m sorry.” Luke continues to pound into him, brushing his spot and he can’t help but moan loudly.

“Or maybe you want both of us to fuck you…at the same time?” he says and stops his thrusts wanting to see Dean’s reaction at the question. Dean only stares at him wide eyed, eyes bright with tears. He can feel Luke is still rock hard inside him, his own erection death from the moment Luke mentioned Aidan’s name. “Would you like that? Would you be able to stretch so wide for both our cocks?” Dean screws his eyes shut and tears roll down his face and he starts to sob. 

A few more thrusts and Luke withdraws from Dean, who winces softly and curls in on himself, still crying. Luke takes off the used condom and throws it on Dean’s bed and starts to pump his own cock, bringing himself off, leaning over Dean’s trembling body; he cums all over Dean, who flinches when the warm substance touches his skin.

“I wonder what Aidan is going to say about this,” Luke says in a menacing tone. Dean’s head shots up and he looks at Luke pleadingly.

“Please, Luke, don’t tell him…I’m sorry, please don’t tell him,” he begs as he crawls towards Luke. Luke smiles at him.

“Why do you look so scared? I’m not going to hurt you,” he reassures Dean with a smirk on his face as he grabs his underwear form the floor and puts it on.

“Are you…mad?” he asks and looks hopefully at Luke who is now putting on his pants.

“Why would I be mad” he says smiling. He takes his shirt and puts it on too, then sits on the bed to put on his socks and shoes. Dean just sits there looking confused, drying his tears with his hand, he has stopped crying though. _He’s not mad_?

“Well, we better get going,” Luke says as he stands up now fully dressed and leans down to plant a kiss on Dean’s head. Luke walks out of the room and enters the bathroom.

“What? Get going where?” he asks but gets no answer. Dean stays there, sniffling, completely naked and covered in Luke’s cum. He’s not really planning on taking him anywhere, right?

“Are you going to tell Aidan?” he asks but gets no answer. He really did it this time.

_You fucking idiot_! He screams internally and lies back on his soiled bed not even caring about cleaning up. If Luke tells Aidan, he’ll never get out of his apartment again. Luke has other plans though.

…………………………………………………..

Aidan drives home. He pulls over at their drive way, turns the engine off and stays there thinking.

There’s so much information he’s gotten from Dean tonight he doesn’t know what to do with it. He feels a warm feeling in his stomach, at the fact that Dean would trust him enough to tell him about his painful past, and more importantly, he wanted to tell him. 

He feels really bad for Dean, being rejected by his own family; having to go through that abusive relationship that left him doubting his own worth, to then travel across the world to start a new life only to land with someone like Luke. Yeah, he probably isn’t as bad as Dean’s ex, but still, being with Luke won’t do him any good, that’s for sure.

Aidan gets out of the car and just then notices Luke’s car is nowhere around. He’s probably at the pub with the guys. He walks over to the house and enters.

He decides to take a shower and just go to bed. It’s Saturday night and he’s got like ten missed calls from Adam so they are probably at the pub, but he’s kind of tired and he already had a great time with Dean so he plans on staying.

Once he’s showered and dressed in his comfy clothes he goes to his bedroom and lies down. His thoughts are invaded by Dean’s gorgeous smile and laughing blue eyes, the feeling of his compact smaller body in his arms is more than he can manage and he feels butterflies in his stomach. _Am I really in love with him? It can’t be; it’s been only two weeks. It’s just not possible_ , He thinks frowning.

His phone vibrates with a text message. It’s Adam. 

_Get your lazy ass here, I know you are lying in bed scratching your nuts, so get up, get your hobo clothes of, put on decent ones and get here_!

He sighs; the message is loud and clear so he does as he’s told.

Five minutes later he’s brushing his teeth and writing a text back to Adam, dressed in decent clothes. _Be there in ten minutes_. 

He’s done with his teeth and is trying to tame his wild hair when he gets and answer. _Good, and don’t forget your wallet like you always do_. He smiles at that. Sometimes he feels like Adam mothers him too much, but he likes it, and with is mum so far away he needs a temporary replacement anyway. 

He exits the house and decides to walk. He gets to the pub in about ten minutes.

The place is crowded so it takes him a few minutes to find the guys. He hears Jimmy’s thick Irish accent so he turns towards the familiar voice. They are all there, all but one. Luke.

_Could he be with Dean right now? How did I miss him_?

“Aidan, hi! I’m so glad you decided to come,” Adams cheers smiling widely.

“Yeah, decided…more like was forced I would say,” he teases as he sits down on the empty chair beside Adam.

“Oh c’mon, did you really prefer to stay home, bored and lonely?” Jimmy asks.

“No, of course not, I’m glad Adam scared the shit out of me with that text,” he says smiling sweetly at Adam.

“You are welcome,” Adam smiles back just as sweetly.

“So, where is my drink?” 

They drink and talk and laugh for about an hour before Luke appears, followed by and uncomfortable looking Dean. Aidan locks eyes with him and Dean holds his gaze for a few seconds then looks away.

“Luke! How are you? Good I’m guessing,” Stephen says as he acknowledges Dean.

“I’m great,” he says as he puts his arms around Dean, “and you guys?” Luke is answered by a chorus of ‘great’ and all lifting their beers.

“Hello Dean, how are you?” Adam asks politely and Dean smiles at being acknowledge directly.

“Fine, thank you,” he says shyly. Luke looks around trying to find chairs. He spots one and there’s another one in their table, so they both sit side by side, right in front of Aidan.

Aidan stares at Dean. His eyes still look puffy and red from crying earlier and Aidan feels the desperate need to hug him and comfort him again. But he can’t.

Dean sits there quietly and rejects any drink offered to him. Aidan thinks its better that way for Luke would have more freedom to do as he pleases with him if Dean gets drunk again. But still, Dean looks to be really uncomfortable and Aidan feels kind of guilty. Maybe Dean feels he’s cheating on Luke, which is ridiculous of course, given the fact that they don’t really have a serious relationship. Luke doesn’t do that and he knows Luke is only having fun with Dean and when he gets bored, he’ll leave him for someone else. 

Warning Dean about Luke is as much as he can do for now so it’s all in Dean’s hands, but he’ll be there to comfort him if he ends up getting hurt in the end.

…………………………………….

Aidan is looking at him. He feels the weight of the stare boring into him. _What if Luke told him on the phone while he was in the bathroom_? He’s begged enough for Luke not to tell Aidan, but Luke’s only reply has been an amused smirk, so he doesn’t really know he will or if he has already, so he feels like crap to say the least, not to mention the fact his bottom hurts like a bitch and he still feels wet from the lube, since Luke didn’t even give him enough time to clean himself. 

He can smell Luke all over himself and he could swear they both smell like sex and everyone around them knows what they just did.

“C’mon, have a beer,” Luke tells him as he fills a glass to the brim and places it in front of him.

“I don’t want to,” he says softly. Luke puts his arm around his waist and gets closer to his ear.

“Just one?” Luke insists. Dean shakes his head and looks down at his lap.

“Tell you what; if you drink this whole beer, I might not tell Aidan about your little mistake with our names,” Luke says and Dean turns fearful eyes towards him and Luke only smiles.

Dean is trying to study Luke’s expression, to see if he’s telling the truth or not. 

“You are threatening me into telling Aidan if I don’t drink?” Dean asks with a frown on his face and a slightly angry tone.

“No, I’m just telling you that if you drink this whole beer I might not tell Aidan. A threat would be if I’d tell you to drink it or else I’ll tell Aidan. See the difference? I’m just giving you an option,” Luke says and he takes a long gulp of his own beer, and then smiles devilishly at him. He’s cornered.

“There is absolutely no difference!” he snaps angrily at Luke. He regrets it of course when Luke stares at him intently, a serious expression on his face, daring Dean to complain further. He lowers his head and looks at his lap and taking a deep breath he moves his hand towards the glass of beer and takes a sip. He can still feel Luke’s heavy stare. 

_Now you’ve angered him. Good one, Dean_ he thinks, completely unaware of Aidan’s concerned look.

………………………………

Aidan is looking at the exchange between Dean and Luke from across the table, he can’t hear anything because the music is too loud, and he’s completely distracted from what Adam seems to be telling him.

Luke is offering Dean a glass of beer as he says something to the kiwi. The blonds’ expression changes from worried and scared to an annoyed frown. He says something to Luke seemingly angry, and the Welch man only stares at Dean trying to intimidate him. It works, for Dean lowers his gaze and moves a hesitant hand towards the drink and takes a sip. 

_That’s it_.

“Luke, come me for a smoke,” he says and stands up. Luke looks up at him for a few seconds then nods and stands up too. Dean looks like he’s not sure what to do with himself. He looks at Adam and makes a small gesture with his eyes.

“So Aidan told me you are from New Zealand…” Adam says, starting a conversation with Dean. He smiles at how fast Adam takes the hint, and follows Luke who’s already walking away

They step outside after a bit of struggle. It’s cold but there are a bunch of people anyway, talking and smoking. 

Aidan takes out one of his cigarettes and makes to offer one to Luke but he’s already got one in his mouth, lighter in hand. Luke offers him the lighter when he’s lighted it and with one hand he blocks the wind to keep it from putting out the flame. Aidan leans closer to the flame with his cigarette in his mouth and lights it too. They take a few drags in complete silence. It’s Aidan who breaks it.

“So, are you two together?” he knows the answer is no but he asks anyway.

“Be more specific, we just had sex together if that’s what you mean,” Luke says nonchalantly and takes another drag.

“You know what I mean.” Luke looks at him with feigned confusion. “I mean in a relationship together.” He says annoyed and puts his half smoked cigarette out with his boot then puts his hand in his pockets to protect them from the cold, waiting for Luke to answer.

“Why are you so interested? Do you have feelings for Dean?” Luke’s tone is amused and he is smiling at him. Aidan looks at him seriously.

“I care about him,” he says finally. It’s no use to lie anyway, Luke knows him too well.

“I care about him too,” Luke replies, not without a hint of sarcasm, Aidan thinks.

“No you don’t, just now you forced him to drink that beer, even though he clearly didn’t want to. You can’t treat people that way Luke” he says, pointing inside the pub with his arm, his anger picking up.

“C’mon, Aidan, we are just having fun, he was just being a bit uptight that’s all.” He says dismissively. Aidan sighs in frustration.

“Well that’s the thing, Dean is not the type to just want to have fun, he thinks you are serious, and you will hurt him when you get bored and dump him for someone else.” Aidan looks intently at Luke, who looks at him curiously.

“You seem to know a lot about him. Have you been seeing him behind my back?” He asks in a teasing tone. _Crap, he knows_. He stares at Luke for a few seconds.

“Just as a friend,” he says and Luke smiles.

“Just as a friend? He might be slightly disappointed,” Aidan frowns at that and looks questioningly at him, but sighs, ignoring Luke.

“Just…don’t hurt him, ok?” he says, lifting his gaze to stare at Luke, after staring at the floor for a few seconds; hands still in his pockets. “And if you don’t care about him for real, try and finish it soon. He doesn’t deserve to be used that way.”

“Is he really worth straining our relationship the way you have this past weeks?” Luke asks in a serious tone. Aidan’s anger dissipates as he feels somewhat guilty, but Luke asked and he’s going to answer.

“Yes,” he says and walks inside the pub, leaving a smirking Luke outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support I've gotten so far, I would have never even imagined I would get two pages of comments (even though I know half of them are mine), Thank you so much for the kudos as well!!


	9. Chapter nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay, I've been kind of busy and very distracted so it wasn't easy to write this chapter, and the world cup is coming too so I'm extra distracted...try to ignore the mistakes. I hope you enjoy it!

Dean watches them walk away and cold dread fills him. _Luke is going to tell him_ , he thinks and looks nervously at their retreating backs. It frightens him the fact that he really doesn’t know Luke, and he doesn’t know if what happened affected him the wrong way and he’s just playing nice now, to explode later. 

_You are being paranoid, Dean_. He thinks, trying to calm himself. It’s bad enough that Luke found his mistake amusing and used it to mock him and humiliate him. But if Aidan is disgusted by him and his stupid mistake, and it ends his newfound friendship he doesn’t think he’ll be able to take it. He really likes Aidan, very much, but he has embarrassed himself enough with these people already, so perhaps it’s be better if he stays away from them from now on, even though he had felt relieved to find potential friends so soon.

Adam keeps trying to make him participate in a conversation, asking him all sorts of questions, and he really likes Adam, but he can’t really concentrate on anything other than what Aidan’s reaction will be when they come back, or if he will confront him about it in front of everyone. He’s steals glances towards the way they went every few seconds while trying to answer any question Adam asks him and not seem rude or uninterested.

“I heard from Aidan you do photography,” Adam says as he leans closer to make himself heard through the loud noise around them. 

He smiles at Adam. “Yes, I…I do it as a hobby for the moment, but I’d love to do it professionally,” he answers, pouring all his enthusiasm in the answer. That is one subject he’ll always be interested in.

He spots Aidan walking in their direction and wants to bolt from the pub and never return, but the Irish man acknowledges him with a sweet smile that sends butterflies to his stomach, so he’s able to relax a little. 

“Are you ok? Is Adam causing you grief?” he asks in a teasing worried tone and Adam punches him in the arm. He laughs at that. 

From what he has observed, Adam and Aidan are great friends; in his opinion, they look a lot closer than Aidan and Luke, and their interaction is a lot more relaxed and playful. If he hadn’t heard from Aidan’s mouth that Luke is his best friend, he would have taken them for mere acquaintances. 

“Not at all, I enjoy Adam’s company,” he answers, unsure if he should have said that, maybe Adam doesn’t like him.

“See? I was being perfectly nice to him. How can you even doubt it?” Adam looks in feigned hurt at Aidan. 

“Well, I don’t know, do you remember that guy I used to date?” Aidan asks and takes a sip from his beer. Adam’s reaction is immediate.

“Hey, I didn’t like him for a reason; he wasn’t good for you and was only with you because of your looks, besides, I’m pretty sure he cheated on you,” Adam says in his defense and Aidan laughs.

“Whatever, the poor guy was terrified of you, he’d always ask me if you were going to be hanging out with us and when I said yes he’d suddenly have other plans he’d forgotten about,” says Aidan scolding at Adam in jest.

“I did it because I care about you, you ungrateful bastard,” replies Adam smiling and Aidan puts his arms around the thin man and squeezes him in a sideways hug.

“I know you do.” 

Dean feels out of place suddenly, and worried. What if Adam decides he doesn’t like him and does whatever he did with the other guy? On first glance, Adam doesn’t look scary at all; in fact he looks sweet and kind, but what if it’s just a cover and he decides he’s not good enough for Luke…or Aidan? What if Adam’s questions were test and he failed?

“Dean?” Aidan is looking at him expectantly.

 

“I’m sorry?” he asks when he snaps out of his thoughts. He has no idea what Aidan asked him.

“Are you ok?” Aidan asks and both he and Adam are looking at him. He realizes he’s been staring ahead with a frown on his face. Aidan’s question has caused Stephen and jimmy, who are sitting on each side of him, to look at him too. He looks back at them.

“Umh…yes…I just, I have to go,” he says and starts to stand up.

“So soon,” Aidan asks slightly disappointed.

“Yes, I…” he starts to make up an excuse, but Aidan interrupts him.

“I’ll take you home then,” Aidan says as he gets up from his seat. 

“Oh, no, it’s not necessary. Really” he says as Aidan seems about to protest and insist. “Thank you, though.”

“Are you sure? Cause it’s really not a problem,” Aidan says and stands in front of him.

“I’m sure. Can you tell Luke I went home?” he wants to leave as quickly as possible not really wanting to see Luke right now.

“You don’t want to tell him yourself?” Aidan asks, smiling knowingly. Dean scrunches his face and shakes his head.

“Not really.” Aidan smiles and looks at his feet then back up at him.

“Ok. I’ll tell him then.” Aidan says and he smiles in silent thanks.

He says goodbye to everyone and looking back at Aidan he smiles at him. Aidan smiles back and gives him a hug. He’s a little surprised but he can’t help but melt in the Irishman’s arms.

“So we are still on for tomorrow?” Aidan asks still hugging him and he panics for a second as he can’t remember what are they on about, but when he does, a tingling sensation runs through his body. 

“Yes, if you want to of course,” he says shyly and looks up at Aidan who is smiling warmly and they separate.

“I want to. Bye, Dean. See you tomorrow,” says Aidan and leans forward to give him another hug, he returns it immediately. “Take care.”

……………………….

They part from each other and Aidan stands there, watching as the blond walks away and gets swallowed by the crowd. A feeling of longing engulfs him and he realizes that every time he’s with Dean, it gets harder to separate from him. He wants to be with him all the time and the thought scares him. 

“Aidan, are you with us?” Jimmy asks and he’s drawn from his thoughts.

“Yeah, I am,” he says sighing and sits down.

“You ok?” Adam asks softly so that only Aidan can hear.

“Yes, why?” he asks.

“Nothing just… you look a bit, off” Adam says. He looks at Adam and stands from his seat again.

“I’ll be back,” he says to everyone and walks towards the exit, following Dean. 

He makes it outside impressively fast given the amount of people in there and he looks around to see if he spots Luke anywhere, but he’s nowhere around. _Maybe he saw Dean walk out and offered to walk him home_. He hopes not.

He turns to walk in Dean’s apartment direction and moves as fast as he can, using his long legs to his advantage, and not too far away, he sees a small figure he’s sure belongs to Dean, walking on the sidewalk, alone. 

He runs for it and when he’s a couple of paces away from who he’s now completely sure is Dean, he slows down and walks, but Dean starts walking faster. 

“Hey!” he calls but Dean doesn’t slow down so he reaches out with his hand to put in Dean’s shoulder. Dean lets out some sort of squeal as he jerks himself away from Aidan towards one side of the street and turns around to face him, a terrified expression on his face.

“Dean!” Aidan says and Dean looks out of breath but sighs relived and puts hand over his chest.

“Aidan, it’s you! I…thought you were…going to mug me,” Dean says and looks down embarrassed. He has to laugh. Dean joins him.

“I’m sorry I scared you.” He apologizes and puts his arm on Dean’s shoulder to make sure he feels safe. The blond giggles adorably. 

“Don’t worry, I was just being over dramatic,” Dean says and smiles sweetly.

“No you weren’t. These streets aren’t safe,” he says in a serious tone. Dean nods in agreement and swallowing hard.

“So, what are you doing here… other than making me squeal like a scared mouse?” He asks, still a little out of breath. Aidan burst out laughing at that.

“I came to make sure you got home safely,” he says smiling sheepishly. Dean giggles again.

“I thought I told you it’s not necessary,” Dean says smiling brightly.

“I know, but what if someone wants to mug you for real and I’m not there to protect you,” Aidan asks lifting his eyebrows and smiling.

“Well…then… I would just have to protect myself,” Dean says a little unconvinced of his own words.

“How? By squealing really loud to try and make them temporally deaf?” he teases, thinking he went too far maybe and Dean would get offended, but being thinking otherwise when Dean burst out laughing and punches him playfully in the arm, a little bit hard.

“Ouch, ok maybe you can punch them with your little fists,” he jokes as he rubs the arm where Dean punched him. They start walking towards Dean’s apartment.

“I don’t have little fists,” Dean says in a childish tone, making a fist and showing it to Aidan. It is in fact a small fist and he grins from ear to ear, for it is too adorable.

“Yeah you do, see?” he says and makes a fist too and puts it right beside Dean’s to show him the difference in size. It’s a noticeable difference. Dean makes a scowl and retreats his hand back to his pocket. He laughs out loud at how cute Dean is.

“Well, maybe yours are abnormally big,” Dean replies childishly and he laughs again. He feels a warm fuzzy feeling towards Dean. He can’t take more cuteness from the blond; he’ll go insane if he does.

They keep walking at a slow pace and teasing each other, till they reach Dean’s apartment.

“Thank you for walking me.” Dean says and smiles, then frowns. “Who’s going to protect you now?” he asks worriedly.

"Oh, don’t you worry about me. People tend to be scared of me, with my leather jacket and tallness…and if that doesn’t work, then I’ll just show them my glare.” he says and Dean burst out laughing. 

“Your glare?” he asks once he’s stopped laughing.

“This one,” he says and makes the angriest glare he can, drawing his eyebrows together and makes his most scary look, looking at Dean. Dean laughs again.

“Ok, yeah, you look pretty scary,” Dean says as he resumes laughing. Aidan relaxes his face.

“See? People won’t mess with me,” he says reassuring Dean, the blond nods.

“Ok. But still, be careful,” Dean says and leans forward hesitant and Aidan opens his arms to envelope the blond, who stands on his toes and gives him a small peck on the cheek, then leans against Aidan’s chest, hugging him back.

The stay there, feeling each other, breathing deeply each other’s scents, enjoying each other’s warmth. Aidan smells Dean’s hair and presses his cheek against it, feeling the softness of those golden curls. He feels Dean’s arms tighten around his middle and the blond sighs contentedly.

After a few more minutes they separate a little and look at each other, arms still around the other.

As if on instinct, they lean closer, till their lips meet. They stay there, slightly caressing each other’s lips and then, they kiss. Softly at first, moving their mouths in synch, tasting, exploring, and then, it turns more passionate, more urgent and both their tongues seek out more contact, fighting for dominance.

_This is wrong_ , he hears an internal voice say and guilt hits him, so he has to stop the most wonderful kiss he’s ever had. He slowly withdraws his mouth from Dean’s and the blond whimpers in protest following him to seek more contact, and he feels terrible.

“Dean,” he says in a rugged voice, and brings his hand to Dean’s shoulders to push him gently away. Dean frowns and opens his eyes, a questioning look on his face. He can’t believe he has stopped a kiss from Dean twice already. 

“I can’t…” Dean’s expression turns from confused, to disappointed. “Not while you are still involved with Luke. You have no idea how much I want to…but I can’t.” Dean’s face reflects his regret also, and his sadness. He looks down at his feet.

“I’m sorry…you must think I’m a … slut,” Aidan stomach sinks at Dean’s self depreciation.

“What? No. I would never think that about you,” he says a convincing as he can.

“I’m sorry Aidan,” he says and makes to walk towards to the stairs. Aidan stops him and makes him turn to face him.

“Dean, please, don’t beat yourself up over this…we both kissed. And if anyone is to be at fault here it’s me. I’m his friend. You on the other hand owe nothing to him; you’ve just being going out for two weeks.” He says as he rubs Dean’s shoulders. Dean doesn’t meet his gaze and looks to the side. He grabs Dean’s chin gently and makes him turn his face towards him. “Dean, look at me,” he does and he continues. “Promise me you won’t beat yourself up over this.” Dean thinks for a while, and then gives him a small nod. He smiles at Dean.

“Ok, thank you. I have to go now, I told Adam I was going back.” He says and gives Dean’s arm a gentle squeeze.

“Ok, bye. Be careful.” Dean calls as he walks away so he turns around and waves at the blond.

He walks back to the pub smoking a cigarette and thinking about Dean and the perfect kiss they just shared; the warmth of that smaller body against his; those soft, inviting lips; his taste, his smell. He wants more; he wants everything Dean has to offer, but at the moment, he can’t take it.

He reaches the pub and enters it, reaches their table and Luke is nowhere to be seen. 

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” Adam says and looks at him expectantly. “Where you with Luke? I haven’t seen him since you two went smoking.” 

“Uhm, no. I was with Dean actually. I walked him home,” he says as he tries to hide his grin.

Adam catches it right away though. “What happened?” he asks excitedly.

“Don’t tell this to anyone” he says as he leans closer to Adam and whispers in his ear. “We kissed,” Adam’s face splits into a grin matching Aidan’s.

“You kissed? That’s great! How was it?” Adam says impatiently and Aidan frowns at the question. “Oh, c’mon, tell me.” He sighs and smiles brightly.

“It was…amazing,” Aidan says with a dreamy look. “Having him in my arms felt so right, like it’s meant to be, you know? I never wanted for it to end.”Adam continues to grin, happy for his friend and encourages him to continue talking. “But, I had to think. So I stopped it, for Luke.” Adam expressions changes drastically.

“Really? Why? If Dean kissed you is because he likes you,” Adam says matter-of-factly. “They don’t even have a serious relationship”.

“I know, but Dean likes Luke too. He’s slept with him on more than one occasion. I can’t just come in between them and pretend it’s all good,” he says, a little exasperated.

“But does Luke care about Dean? No.” Adam says. He looks at him in the eye.

“But what if he does?” he asks for he’s been wondering that same thing for a while now. Adam stares at him and sighs.

“I don’t think so. But anyway, if Dean likes Luke so much then why did he kiss you?” Adam asks with a frown on his face. Aidan reflects on it for a moment. “I don’t know Dean, he seems to be nice and all, but are you sure he’s good for you? Maybe he likes to play around.”

“No. Dean’s not like that,” he’s quick to answer. “I got to know him a little bit better, I’ve talked to him and he’s definitely not like that.”

“Ok. Maybe he is confused, then,” Adam says, trusting Aidan’s judgment. He nods.

“I’m worried… about Dean. He’s got some issues, from his past…” he says and Adam looks interested. “…that I can’t tell you about,” he says and Adam looks disappointed. “Self esteem issues… and it kind of worries me that he’s with Luke because he thinks he doesn’t deserve better and he goes along with what Luke tells him or makes him do, not really wanting to.”

“Are you sure?” Adam asks and he nods but Adam looks unconvinced. “I…it’s not that I don’t believe you, but, I just don’t want you to get hurt and suffer for someone who might not deserve it.”

“I know you care about me, but trust me, Dean is…he’s great and I really like him. So I ask you from the bottom of my heart, don’t act like a little bitch with him while trying to protect me” Adam laughs at that. 

“Ok, Aidan, you don’t have to worry about that.” Adam reassures him and Aidan sighs relived. 

“Great. You could really cause him damage if you do, he’s really sweet and vulnerable, so be the nice you with him, please,” Aidan says in a teasing tone. 

“Ok, I promise,” Adam says and Aidan sighs.

“Thank you.” He says and Adam smiles brightly and nods.

“So, what are you going to do about this situation?”

“I have no idea. It’s too early to tell anyway. I’m not completely sure Dean likes me, well, more than Luke. I have to talk to him,” he says and blushes a little, “I’m actually going over to his house tomorrow, to help him with some renovations in his apartment.”

“Wow, that’s very nice of you,” Adam says and rubs Aidan’s shoulder. “He has got to pick you,” he teases.

“I can only hope.” Aidan says and grabs his remaining beer and drinks it in one gulp.

They stay for a couple more hours and then they go home. He looks for Luke but he’s nowhere to be seen, so they go. He probably went home anyway for his car isn’t there anyway.

He gets a ride home from James and when they pull over at their drive way, he spots Luke’s car there. 

He feels kind of bad so when he enters his home and Luke is not in the living room, he goes to Luke’s bedroom to talk. 

He’s in the hallway, right outside Luke’s door and he’s about to knock on it when he hears moaning coming from inside. _He brought someone else_?

He presses his ear against the door and there’s definitely sex sounds coming from inside. He hears Luke’s voice and another, unknown to him, male voice, moaning and talking nonsense in the throes of passion.

“You fucker,” he hisses and turns around to go to his room.

He can’t sleep as he hears the sounds coming from Luke’s bedroom and all he wants to do is go to Dean’s apartment and tell him about Luke’s fuck buddy, but he won’t.

_God, Luke’s such a whore_! He’s in some sort of relationship with the most beautiful man in the whole world and he’s got to fuck someone else?  
If he had Dean, he would never, ever want anybody else, just Dean.

He doesn’t even know when he falls asleep; all he knows is that he dreamed of blue eyes and a gorgeous dimpled smile when he wakes up. He opens his eyes and stretches, yawning loud. He stays there regaining conscious and that’s when he remembers Luke’s fuck buddy.

Quickly and quietly, he gets up from his bed and runs towards the door. The hallway is silent, and there are no sounds coming from Luke’s bedroom. He exits his room and walks to the kitchen. There’s no one around. He makes some coffee and sits down on the couch, turns the TV on and waits patiently for any sign of someone coming from the hallway.  
It’s almost nine and no sign from Luke’s bedroom. He sighs in disappointment. Maybe said person already left and it’s just Luke sleeping in there. He’s about to give up and just go and take a shower when he hears the sound of stomping on the wooden floor, coming from the end of the hallway, a door creaking open, and footsteps coming towards the living room. He smirks. The person is in fact male, average height, dark brown hair; just a plain looking guy who looks at him startled, thinking probably there was nobody else in the house. 

“Good morning” he says in a suggestive tone. “Friend’s of Luke? I haven’t met you before.”

The guy smiles at him and reaches his hand for a handshake. “Hello, Luke’s roommate?”

“Aidan,” he says and shakes the guys hand. 

“Nice to meet you, I have to go now though. Bye Aidan,” the guy says and hastily exits the house. He doesn’t even get his name. 

_So that’s the guy Luke cheated Dean with…what an idiot_ , he thinks as he goes to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready to go.

………………………………

Dean enters his apartment and closes the door. He sighs, trying to feel bad about kissing Aidan, but fails and smiles brightly. He still feels kind of dizzy and warm all over. It feels too right to be wrong.

He looks at the mess he didn’t get to clean when Luke came and makes to clean it, but he’s too distracted to do anything at the moment other than thinking about Aidan, so he just stays there and sits in the couch. The Irishman is too good to be true, in every way, more than he’s ever dared to want. And that is the problem. He doesn’t deserve him. Not to mention he’s kind of involved with said man’s best friend. He sighs in frustration. He would hate to be one of those people who step in between friends. 

He’s too exhausted to take a shower before he goes to bed, and with his mind plagued by thoughts about Aidan, he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he feels all sticky and dirty from Luke's visit, so groaning and stretching, he gets up from his soiled bed and limps to the bathroom, the pain more obvious now. He takes a quick, but no less thorough shower for he doesn’t know what time Aidan will arrive and he doesn’t want to keep him waiting.

He steps out of the shower and dries himself off, then puts his towel around his waist and exits the bathroom to go to his room. There’s the great dilemma of what to wear. He wants to look nice for Aidan, but they will be working with tools and stuff and painting, so he dices to put on some grey sweat pants and a black t-shirt. He still can’t believe Aidan would offer to help him renovate his apartment, it’s just too much. 

After he's collected the dirty bed sheets and remade his bed with clean ones, he walks to the living room and all the mess from last night is still there. 

“Shit,” he curses and quickly grabs a plastic bag to put all the garbage in. There’s a knock on the door and he curses again. He hurries to put the bag in the garbage can in the kitchen and with a last inspecting glance around his apartment; he goes to the door and opens it. 

“Hello, Dean, good morning.” Aidan says as he stands there with a huge grin on his face, looking all gorgeous, and a little bit out of breath. His stomach feels filled with butterflies and he’s pretty sure his knees will give at any moment. Their kiss from last night very present in his mind.

“Hi Aidan. How are you?” he asks and looks at all the things Aidan is carrying and moves out if the way to let the Irish man enter. There are three cans of paint in the floor outside his door, and two boxes that appear to contain tiles, which Aidan probably carried here. He stays there for a few seconds, frowning.

“Did you bring all these things for my apartment?” he asks a little bit shocked.

“Yep.” Aidan simply says. “I had no idea what color pain you wanted but I recommend you to pick a light color, to bring light to the apartment. So…I brought about six different colors where you can pick from, the rest are still in my car, let me go get them.” Aidan says excitedly and walks past him towards the still open door and disappears from sight. He’s just standing there like an idiot. _Is this really happening?_

When he regains his ability to think, he moves towards the door and leans down to inspect the tiles. He grabs one of the boxes and barely stands up. _Fuck they are heavy_. 

“Let me help you with that,” he hears from behind and he turns around just as Aidan leaves three more cans of paint in the floor and walks up to him to take the box from his hands. 

“No, I’m …ok,” he says but Aidan has already taken the tiles from his hands in is now placing them carefully on the floor, then walks to the door and proceeds to do the same with the rest.

“Don’t want you to hurt your little handsies,” Aidan teases smiling broadly. He blushes and tries to look hurt but fails miserably since he can’t contain his laughter.

“C’mon Aid, they are not that small.” He says as he looks at his own hands. He doesn’t see Aidan grinning as he looks sweetly at him. 

“Well, let’s get started then,” Aidan says and takes his jacket off and throws it away not caring where it lands, grabs his tool bag from the floor and straps it around his waist. He really is a sight to behold. He’s wearing a red plaid shirt, a white tank top under it, and with the tool bag around his waist he just looks…deliciously manly. 

_Stop it Dean_ , he chastises himself when he realizes he’s staring.

“What do you think of the tiles?” Aidan asks and walks towards the boxes to open them so he can see them. “I hope you like them; they were the only ones I had.” Aidan opens one of the boxes and shows one to him. They are ceramic tiles, of a sand color. He loves them.

“They are perfect, thank you, Aidan,” he says fondly. Aidan smiles sweetly at him.

“I’m glad you like them." He smiles and Aidan says in a teasing tone, "You are easy to please”. 

He smiles nervously at Aidan and nods. Aidan smiles reassuringly.

“Ok, first, we have to tear all this wall paper. It should be fairly easy; it’s really old.” He says walking towards the big couch and standing in the small space behind it, he pushes it towards the coffee table, away from the wall and reaches for a spatula from his belt and uses it to slide it under one of the ends of the paper and with the other hand he takes the end and pulls, ripping a huge peace of it, revealing a water green ugly color underneath. 

“Here, I’ve got a smaller spatula if you want to help.” Aidan says and extends his hand towards him, holding the spatula. He takes it and walks closer to the wall. “It should fit your…,” Aidan says smirking. He gives Aidan an amused look.

“How long are you going to continue mocking my hand’s size…just to have an idea?” he asks as he does what Aidan did with the spatula and ripping a huge piece as well. “Hey, this is really easy, the ones in my bedroom didn’t come out this easy,” he says, sounding more excited than he intended. Aidan laughs at him.

“Oh, you better get used to it, there’s a bunch of things I can tease you about; your shortness, your adorableness, your cute giggles, and the list goes on. You are such a puppy it’s impossible for me not to tease you.” Aidan’s tone is serious as he concentrates on his work and Dean has to laugh.

“I’m not a puppy,” he says indignantly when he realizes what Aidan just called him.

“Yeah you are.” He frowns but ends up smiling anyway.

They continue ripping out the paper, which comes out rather easily and when they are done, Aidan shows Dean the paints. 

“So here are the colors; what do you think? Do you see one you like? cause if you don’t I can get more.” Aidan says quickly as he opens the cans of paint and Dean stares at him.

“Uhm, no, don’t get more, I like them all.” He says as he surveys the colors and smiles at Aidan. “Where did you get all these, you didn’t buy them, did you?” he asks worriedly as the thought crosses his mind.

“Oh, no, I just had them around; I didn’t buy them so don’t worry about that. Sometimes people don’t like the color they picked when they see it in the can so ….”

“You steal them?” he asks amusedly. Aidan smiles and shakes his head.

“That’s one way to see it, but nah,” Aidan says sheepishly. He takes a brush and waves it pointing at the cans. “So which one do you like better? I’d recommend this one though,” he says as he points at one very light yellow. “It’ll brighten up the apartment tons.”

“Then I want that one,” he says and Aidan smiles brightly at him. _Maybe I could keep Aidan here; he’ll brighten up the whole apartment with that huge smile of his_ he giggles at the thought.

“Great.” Aidan says excitedly. “We are lucky the wall under the paper was in great conditions, all we have to do is paint.” He smiles at Aidan’s excitement.

His phone vibrates on the coffee table. It’s Jared. 

_Hey Dean, go on skype, haven’t seen you in a while and I’m getting worried_ , he reads and writes back. 

_Hey, Jared. Ok, let me get my laptop_. He answers and for a second wonders if Aidan would mind if he talks with Jared for a little bit. They’ll probably get along.


	10. Chapter ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry for the delay, but here's chapter ten...finally. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“I’ll be right back,” he announces and goes to his room to get his laptop. He takes it to the living room and sits down, placing it in the coffee table. 

“I got a text from Jared and he wants me to get on Skype so we can talk, does it bother you? ‘Cause if it does I can talk with him later,” he says, hoping Aidan won’t care.

“Are you insane? Of course it doesn’t bother me.” Aidan says in disbelief. “I’d like to meet him, actually.”

He sighs in relief, even though he knew Aidan’s answer would be something like that.

“Great, I’m sure he’ll love to meet you, he’s been quite worried about me being alone in a strange country, so he’ll be happy to know I’ve found… a friend,” he says hesitant and smiles nervously at Aidan. His hesitance is dissolved by a warm, reassuring smile.

“That’s good. He’ll like to know I’m taking care of you, also.” Aidan says and he giggles.

“Taking care of me?” he asks and Aidan nods.

“Yes. Besides, I want his approval, surely he wants to know who your new friend is and see if I’m worthy of your friendship,” he blushes, hiding his face while he types his password, he enters Skype and starts calling Jared. 

“Wow, seems like you know him already,” he replies and waits for Jared to answer. He does and Jared’s face appears on the screen. 

He sends a prayer for Jared not to say anything embarrassing about him with Aidan in the room.

“Hello, Deannie” he blushes at the pet name and looks at Aidan who is trying hard not laugh while he puts some old news paper on the floor, right beside the wall, to avoid staining the carpet with paint.

“Hey, Jared” he waves at the screen, with less enthusiasm than he intended.

“How are you? I’ve been worried sick this week; I’ve only gotten like two messages from you. Is everything alright?” Jared asks worriedly and stares at his camera so it looks like he’s staring right at him.

“I’m fine, everything’s fine, nothing for you to worry about…I’ve just been busy,” he answers and smiles warmly at his friend. “How are you? And how’s Ben, is he taking good care of Batman? Have you seen them?” he asks impatiently.

“I’m great, Ben’s great, Batman is great. They keep going to the beach together almost every day. Batman loves the surfer lifestyle.” the mental image of both Ben and Batman having fun at the beach, running or swimming, is heartwarming and his eyes become a little watery. 

The fact that he knew Ben’s relaxed lifestyle would probably give Batman a better life than he ever could, was what helped him make the choice of leaving his dog. Ben spends most of his time with him probably, something he could never do due to his jobs, but he’ll do everything in his power to send for Batman eventually, once he’s truly established and hopefully, once he makes more money to afford a house with a backyard; although the idea of returning to New Zealand in the future is very tempting. 

“So how are you, truly? Are you settling alright? Have you found friends yet? I know that you are shy but you gotta get out there Dean, put some effort on your part and talk to people when they talk to you, don’t just look at them awkwardly and then run the other way.” He blushes furiously. He knew Jared would say something embarrassing about him.  
He looks up at Aidan who is stifling more laughter as he secures a paint roller on a pole. 

_Great, now he’ll think I’m a freak_.

“Dean? Are you alone?” Jared asks with a frown on his face. He looks up at Aidan again who heard Jared’s question and turned to look at him with interest. He rubs his hands over his face. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“Uhm…no…I’m not… Aidan’s here,” he says looking sheepishly at the screen, blushing even more if possible. Jared’s reaction is priceless though, for he stays frozen, frowning, looking at the camera for a few seconds. 

“Aidan?” Jared asks once he’s able to react. “Who is Aidan?”

Aidan, who’s heard the whole thing comes towards him and sits right beside him on the couch. 

“Hey, Jared, I’m Aidan, Dean’s new friend.” Aidan says with a huge grin on his face, speaking loudly, his Irish accent thicker than usual. Jared looks suspicious for a second and then an equally huge grin splits his face.

“Oh…Aidan…I know who you are, I think Dean mentioned you last time we talked,” Jared says smirking.

_I’m going to kill him_.

“He did?” Aidan asks in a teasing tone and looks at him. He wants to hide his face with his shirt, but looking at his hands placed in his lap would have to do for now. “What did he say about me?” Aidan continues, now looking at the screen.  
“Oh, just that he met this guy…and how nice you were to him…” Jared says nonchalantly and he prays for Jared to stop right there. “…and that he’d like to get to know you better… and that you are really handsome.” 

_Ah, there it is_.

He’s about to stand up and snap shut his laptop when Aidan speaks.

“Oh, thank you, Dean.” Aidan says and nudges him with his shoulder. He has hidden his face with both hands by now and refuses to look up. He hears Jared laughing. “We’ve actually got to know each other better this past week, right Dean?” Aidan asks and turns to look at him and he looks back through his fingers and Aidan gives him a slight, encouraging pat on his back so he lowers his hands and smiles at Aidan.

“Really? That’s good. I seriously hope you become good friends.” Jared says excitedly. He must really like Aidan; he’s not usually this friendly with people he has just met.

“Yeah, I hope so too.” Aidan says and looks fondly at him. “I really like Dean, I care about him, and I know it must be stressful to you being so far away, not knowing if he’s doing fine or not… so maybe you shouldn’t worry anymore… I’ll make sure he’s fine and he won’t be alone anymore… as long as he wants me around, of course.” Aidan says warmly and Jared laughs at the last part. 

He feels a tingling sensation in his stomach at Aidan’s words, so even thought this situation is horrifyingly embarrassing to him, listening to Aidan say those things makes him feel warm and cared about. It’s a strange feeling he only got when he was younger and his parents still loved him and with Jared. He feels at home.

“Wow, Dean. How did you manage to find such a good friend so soon?” Jared says, surprise clear in his voice.

“Ugh…Jared, please stop embarrassing me.” He says and covers his face with his hands again. Aidan laughs beside him.

“Oh, don’t be, Dean. He’s only looking out for you.” Aidan says reassuringly and rubs his back.

“Yes, Dean. You know how much I care about you, and how much I hated the fact you had to leave. It takes a great weight off of my shoulders to know you have a friend now, one that cares about you.” Jared says smiling warmly. 

“Yes, but you could have refrained from making me sound like an antisocial freak.” Aidan and Jared burst out laughing.

“Oh, c’mon, Aidan doesn’t care, right?” Jared says, addressing Aidan.

“Of course not,” Aidan says looking at the screen and then looks back at him, “and you are not an antisocial freak, you are just shy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Besides, I can tell you are coming out of your shell, at least with me.” Aidan says reassuringly and continues to rub his back. 

The tingling feeling is back. He likes that feeling.

“Thank you,” he says softly, looking at Aidan intently, trying to pour all his gratitude in that single glance.

Aidan leans closer towards him and returns the intent in his glance.”You are welcome.”

“Aw, look at you two, you look adorable together. If I didn’t know any better I’d pass you for a couple in love,” Jared teases very inappropriately. Thankfully, Aidan’s playful nature makes him laugh and tease back. 

“Wow Jared, you are right. Don’t we look great together Dean?” Aidan says as he wraps his arms around his shoulders and leans closer to the screen to look at their image. Jared laughs happily. It’s exactly the reaction he expected from Aidan, apparently. 

“You two seem to be getting along really well… maybe too well,” he says in a teasing tone, even though he wants to crawl into a hole and die from embarrassment right now.

“Why do you say it as a bad thing, you should be glad Jared’s giving us his blessings,” Aidan says and winks at Jared. _Great, they are combining forces to make him blush and die from embarrassment_.

“You totally have my blessings guys. Listen, I gotta go now, it was great meeting you Aidan, I hope we talk some more in the future, and thanks for taking care of Dean for me, I really appreciate it.” Jared says hastily.

“Hey, I can take care of myself!” he protests and huffs in indignation.

“No problem Jared, take care. It was great meeting you too, and I also hope we can talk again. Bye.” Aidan says and waves at Jared with his huge smile on.

“Bye Aidan. Bye Dean, take care.” Jared says waving back and the call is ended.

They sit there for a few seconds, not saying anything, and then Aidan speaks.

“I really like Jared, he really cares about you.” Aidan says looking at him, his teasing tone gone and he nods. 

“Yes, he’s kind of like…the only family I got left…so I guess I have to forgive him for embarrassing me like he does.” Aidan laughs.

“Yeah, you probably have to,” Aidan says and stands up from the couch. “Well, are we doing this on not?” he nods, smiling broadly at Aidan and stands up.

Aidan coats the roller with paint and teaches him how to use it correctly, wrapping his arms around him and his hands over Dean’s smaller ones, covering them completely and moving the pole with the roller up and down the wall, careful not reach the ceiling. Aidan’s body behind him feels so good; strong and safe. He feels his knees go weak and he fears he’ll faint in Aidan’s embrace, although that wouldn’t be so bad.

“See how you get it all even?” Aidan says snapping him out of his musings.

“Yeah,” he says and his voice trembles a little. _Damn, Aidan makes him so nervous sometimes_.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The feeling of Dean’s warm body pressed in front of him sends a jolt of unexpected pleasure to his groin when he realizes their position and he has to move away awkwardly.  
 _This in not the time Aidan_ he chastises himself and smiles at Dean when the blond turns around to look at him questioningly. “You can continue with that and I’ll paint the ceiling,” he says, placing his hands on his hips as he looks up. Dean looks up too and nods.

Since the apartment is fairly small, they finish the first coat on the walls and ceiling in almost no time, so they relax in the couch for a while with some beers he brings from his car and a pizza Dean orders.

“Wow, I can’t even imagine what I’m going to have to do to pay you for all this, Aid. It looks amazing. It’s changed so much… and I love the color, it sure looks ten times more alight,” Dean says, genuinely amazed at how much his apartment changed with just taking the wallpaper off and painting it. 

He smiles and looks at Dean, who takes a sip of his beer and licks the remaining liquid from his lips. He stares at them for a few seconds before he snaps out of it. Thankfully, Dean was admiring the walls so he didn’t notice his creepy stare.

“What are you saying? Of course you won’t need to do anything. You are my friend and this is what friends do for each other, simple as that,” he says and takes a big gulp from his beer then takes a second slice of pizza. Dean smiles sweetly, his dimples showing adorably.

“Thank you, Aidan.” Aidan replies with a nod. “I still want to do something for you,” Dean continues and stops to think for a few seconds. “Maybe you can come here and I’ll cook you dinner…I mean…I you want to, of course,” Dean says, slipping into his shy, adorable self. 

It has surprised Aidan how quickly Dean has become more relaxed and comfortable around him these past couple of days, and he loves how Dean has called him Aid two times already, and now meeting his best friend feels like he knows Dean a lot better. Although, he thinks it’s cute how Dean still acts shy sometimes.

He smiles happily at the kiwi for the wonderful invitation. “I would love that, seriously, I love food and I love to eat, and it’s pretty hard for me living with complete lack of cooking skills and a roommate with less.” He says and immediately regrets mentioning Luke for Dean’s smile falters a little, but comes back seconds later in its entire splendor.

“Great, then I’ll cook for you,” Dean says cheerfully. “What’s your favorite food? I’m not very good with fancy food, but I could give it a shot if that’s the case.”

“Nope, I’m not gonna tell you, just cook whatever you want and I’m positive I’ll love it,” he says and rubs his hands together to clean them as best he can and stands up to get on with the renovations.

“Are you sure? I’d rather make something I’m sure you are going to enjoy,” Dean says as he stands too and follows Aidan to stand beside him where he is crouching to inspect the tiles. “What if you hate what I make?” Aidan sighs, for he has eaten Dean’s cooking once before and it was heavenly, so he’s pretty sure he’ll love anything Dean makes, but Dean’s insecure and he gets it.

“Ok, I’ll tell you, but only to make you feel better and less insecure.” He says as he stands up, holding one of the tiles in his hands, and turns to face Dean. “Its stew… unless you don’t know how to make it, then it’s definitely not stew.” Dean smiles brightly and laughs at his last sentence.

“I can make it,” Dean says happily and Aidan has to prevent himself from hugging the blond.

They continue with the renovations, talking about nonsense and laughing, they laugh a lot together, Aidan notices, and he just loves to make Dean laugh, loves how cute he looks when he does and how deep his dimples show and the adorable little wrinkle that forms in the bridge of his nose, and the sound of it is just too adorable to think straight. 

Man he’s got it hard for the kiwi.

“Are you hungry? I’ll make sandwiches,” Dean says before he can reply and walks towards his tiny, but good for his size, refrigerator to get the ingredients for said sandwiches. 

“Sure, I could eat,” he says and sets to work. Dean nods and starts making the sandwiches.

“Do you like tuna? And tomatoes?” he hears the blond ask from behind him, and he turns around with a smile on his face.

“Yes, love them both,” he gets a smile in return and he turns to his task again. Maybe the word love was too much, but if Dean is making the sandwiches, he knows he’ll love them.

He starts to measure Dean’s kitchen floor and places one of the tiles where he’s going to start. Dean looming over him like a cute child, interested in his dads doing.

“Wow, you are very handy,” Dean says sounding very impressed and hands him a sandwich with tuna, tomato and mayonnaise. He thanks the blond and stands up to eat it. And of course it’s heavenly. Dean’s got one too and he starts munching happily on it. He even loves to watch Dean eating.

_I’m so screwed_. 

“Well, I know how to do a few things,” he answers with faked modesty after he’s swallowed, making Dean laugh.

“How did you get into construction?” Dean asks curiously and he smiles, for Dean wouldn’t probably have dared to ask him something so openly a week ago.

“Well, I just kind of fell into it, when I first came here with Luke, we started to do small jobs here and there like painting and stuff. I knew how to do a few things for my dad taught me, but it came the time were I had to do something more stable, and I like this, so I took a few courses to improve my skills and…here I am,” he says and opens his arms for emphasis.

“But you wanted to be an actor,” Dean says softly. He has finished his first sandwich and is now filling two glasses with juice. He offers one to Aidan and he accepts thanking the blond and takes a sip, then, he replies.

“Yeah, I never really did anything for it, I wanted to take classes but never set my mind into it. It was always kind of like my impossible dream,” he replies in a slightly sad tone.  
“I don’t think it would be impossible for you, you are very handsome, and with your Irish accent, they would love you.” Dean’s short speech makes him blush a little. Wow, Dean is getting really confident around him. 

“Oh stop it, you are making me blush,” he says smiling. He eats his sandwiches and crouches down to finish measuring the floor, once that’s done, he stands up and walks towards the door where there’s a bucket of adhesive and carries it towards the kitchen. Dean is standing there, leaning on the counter, with his arms folded in front of him, grinning while he looks at him. 

“You should take classes,” Dean says cheerfully and it lights a small fire inside him, one he had thought extinguished. “You really should.”

“You really think so? Don’t you think I’m a bit old for that?” he asks with a small frown on his face.

“Of course not” Dean says giggling. He looks up at Dean and smiles brightly. It kind of funny how he, being so confident and sure of himself, is not pursuing his biggest dream and Dean, with his insecurities and issues, is.

“I think it’s really admiring that you are pursuing photography. I can tell by the way you talked to me about it that it’s really your passion. I would love to see your work once you get your camera.” Dean smiles brightly.

“Thank you. I would love to show them to you,” he says excitedly. 

They continue putting on the tiles and Dean learning how to do it. 

It’s seven in the afternoon and they’ve finished with the tiles and have already given a second layer of paint, so they are pretty much done. Together, they clean the ripped pieces of wallpaper and newspaper from the floor and they push the couch to its original position, careful not to touch the wall. 

“We’ll wait for this layer to dry and see if it needs another one, but I’m almost sure it doesn’t. Oh, and try not to step on the kitchen until tomorrow, the adhesive will be dry by then” he says and takes his tool belt off.

“Oh, ok,” Dean says smiling at him and stays staring at him for a few seconds. “You can come on Friday for dinner…if you can,” he says finally and then looks down, suddenly shy again.

“Friday’s perfect,” he says and Dean looks to him again, his smile deepening. They stay there for a few seconds, looking at each other. Aidan’s not sure about what Dean is thinking, but he sure as hell know what he is thinking about, while his eyes set on the kiwis pink lips. Oh, how he longs to kiss those soft lips again. Thank God he’s not standing too close to the blond; otherwise he wouldn’t be able to control his impulses.

“Well, I think it’s time for me to go,” his reluctance showing. Dean’s smile falters a little bit. 

“Ok. Thank you so much for this. You’ve done more for me than…thank you,” Dean says and looks down to his feet, Aidan knows Dean meant his family. 

“It’s a pleasure, Dean,” he says and he walks closer to the blond to put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean leans closer and they end up hugging. It doesn’t last too long, for Dean pulls back, away from his arms, but he is smiling.

“See you on Friday?” Dean asks sweetly, he nods.

“Or maybe sooner,” he says and Dean’s smile brightens.

“Yes, I’d like that,” Dean says nodding and he starts gathering his tools, paint rollers and some of the paint cans. Dean insists in helping him so they both walk out of the apartment and down the stairs, carrying everything they can. They reach Aidan’s car, and Aidan opens the truck so they can put all the things there. They have to make another trip up to Dean’s apartment and back for there were a lot of things.

“How did you manage to take all this things upstairs by yourself?” Dean asks in disbelief.

“I’m pretty strong,” he says and winks at Dean making him blush adorably. “And I’m used to carry things around...and I made two trips upstairs”

“You should have told me to help you,” Dean chastises him, looking slightly angry, so he smiles sheepishly. He has never seen Dean angry; he looks awfully cute.

“Sorry?” he says and makes his best puppy face. Dean’s frown disappears quickly and is replaced by a grin and giggles.

“You are not sorry,” the blond says smiling and punches him lightly on his chest.

“No, I’m not” he says smiling cheekily at Dean and the kiwi laughs. 

He sighs and scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I’m off now. See you soon?”

Dean nods in agreement and looks intently at him. “Yes.”

“Ok, bye.” Aidan hesitates for a second for he really wants to hug Dean again, but maybe it’ll be too much. His doubts are swatted when Dean leans closer and he instinctively leans forward and wraps his arms around Dean. He takes a deep breath, inhaling Dean’s scent and he feels Dean do the same. They stay there for a few more seconds and then slowly part from each other’s embrace, their hands wanting to keep the contact to the very last, till they are touching no more.

“Bye, Aidan. Thank you for all this,” says Dean, waving his left hand towards the building. 

“No problem. Bye,” he says and gets into his car, turns on the engine and drives away, looking through the rear mirror at Dean’s form, getting smaller as he drives away from him.

He sets his mind right then, he’s going to tell Dean how he feels.

He enters his home and sees Luke in the kitchen; most probably trying to figure out what can he make himself that’s close to edible with the little to no ingredients they’ve got in the house. He had planned to talk to Luke as mature adults when he got home last night, but those plans went to hell when he found out about Luke’s new friend.

“Oh, hello, my friend, how was your night?” Luke says in his best nonchalant tone. “I got a little distracted so I couldn’t rejoin you guys.”

“I know, I got a chance to meet your distraction this morning,” he replies, his anger barely showing.

“Oh you did? I had hoped you hadn’t seen him.” Luke says in a sad tone and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say Luke actually regrets his actions. He knows way better than that.

“Well, I saw him,” he says matter-of-factly. “I hope this means you are ending it with Dean.”

“Nope, I’m ending nothing.” Luke says as he makes a sandwich with some dry jelly he found in the fridge.

“Please, tell me you are joking,” he says as he looks dumbfounded at Luke before he continues. “You fucked someone else ...and that’s not even the worst part,” he’s getting really exasperated by now. He leaves his tool belt in one of the couches in the living room and walks towards the kitchen, “…the worst part is that you invited him to the pub, left him alone, didn’t even say goodbye to him, and disappeared to go fuck some stranger,” he says, gesticulating wildly with his hands.

“Oh, relax. We didn’t say anything about being exclusive,” Luke says in a dismissive tone, not giving a fuck about what he just told him.

He thinks about continue arguing, trying to make some sense enter his thick friend’s mind, but he knows it’ll be in vain. Anyway, Luke is right; he and Dean are not exclusive. He just hopes Dean knows that. 

He sighs loudly causing Luke to look up at him.

“Problem?” Luke asks smirking.

“No,” he simply says and goes to his room and closes the door.

What is he going to do? He can’t force Luke to leave Dean, and he can’t go and tell Dean about Luke’s little escapade, no matter what, he and Luke are friends, and friends don’t do things like that to each other. But Dean is his friend too, and it would be just as bad not to tell him about it. 

No, this is none of his business, he can’t do anything.

He’s got work tomorrow so he goes to bed early; besides, he’s in no mood of spending time with Luke. He puts on his pajamas’ and gets in bed then takes his phone from the nightstand to check for missed calls or texts. He purposefully left it home today so he wouldn’t be bothered while at Dean’s. 

There are seven missed calls, six from Adam, one from his mom and ten texts, Adam’s also. He’ll call his mom and Adam tomorrow, for he’s kind of tired and too troubled now, and Adam will want every detail. 

He puts his phone back on the nightstand and turns on his side, covering himself completely with the bedcovers and falls asleep.

\------------------------------------------------

He enters his now completely changed apartment and closes the door. He smiles as he looks about the living room and kitchen. It’s no longer gloomy and depressing to be here. 

He looks up at the now perfectly painted white ceiling, thinking about Aidan. It’s still kind of hard for him to swallow how someone can be so nice to him, someone he’s known for two weeks only. Aidan puzzles him and he knows if he continues to act so nice and generous and perfect, and gorgeous, he’s going to have a huge problem.

Suddenly, he thinks about Luke. He hasn’t thought about him all day and he feels a knot forming in his stomach, and guilt eating at him. Maybe he should call him, or sent him a text. He’s probably still mad at him. He hadn’t wanted to ask Aidan about Luke, or if he got mad when he realized he left the pub without saying goodbye. He’s probably mad because Aidan accompanied him home too, if he noticed. 

He grabs his phone from the coffee table and starts writing a text. He starts over about ten times, unsure of what to write, before he manages to write a short one. 

_Hi Luke. How are you? I’m sorry I left early last night, I wasn’t feeling so good. I hope you are not mad. Please, call me if you are not. Hope you’re ok. Bye_. 

He presses send and goes to his room, leaving his phone on the nightstand while he puts on his PJ’s. He’s about to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth when the phone vibrates. He walks towards it and picks it up. Luke has answered his text.

_I’m not mad, cutie. I was about to call you actually. Dinner tomorrow?_.

He smiles at the reply and sighs in relief, he starts writing a reply right away.

_That’s a relief, and I’d love to go to dinner. I get off work at eight_.

He presses send and sits down on his bed to wait for the reply. It doesn’t come, but there was really nothing more for Luke to say so he goes to the bathroom and gets ready for bed.

While he lies there, he thinks about Luke’s invitation. Maybe it’s not a great idea to have dinner with Luke. He’s not sure about what he feels about him. There are some attitudes he doesn’t like about Luke, and the whole thing about Luke almost threatening him to tell Aidan about his mistake if he didn’t drink was kind of disturbing, it brought back unwanted memories and he did not leave New Zealand to start a relationship like the one he escaped from. And then there’s Aidan. Aidan’s probably the main reason he has doubts about having dinner tomorrow with Luke. The past few days have been so perfect, and all because of Aidan. 

When he first came here, he had been sure he wouldn’t last a month in this country. He had been so afraid and lonely, that he even began wondering if leaving his boyfriend had been a good idea. He even missed him. But these past days he has spent with the Irishman have made him feel so good and comfortable, like he belongs here and everything will be alright. And he trusts him, he trusts him so much that it felt right to pour his heart and his dark past to him, something he never thought possible with anyone other than Jared, and he’d be lying to himself if he denies he feels stronger about Aidan than mere friendship. And that kiss, that was the best kiss he has ever had in his life and just thinking about it sent chills up his spine and butterflies to his stomach. And most importantly, Aidan likes him too, but being a good friend, he obviously won’t do anything as long as he ends things with Luke. He really likes Aidan, probably more than Luke, but how can he end things with Luke just like that and then start dating Aidan? He can’t do that, they are best friends, and roommates. I’ll be far too weird.

He sighs loudly and rubs his eyes. He has to end things with Luke, and he’ll see what happens with Aidan as it goes. For now, they are friends, and he is happy with that.


	11. Chapter eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter elven. Please, try to ignore the mistakes. Hope yoy enjoy!

Dean wakes up to the sound of his pone vibrating. Sleepily and with his eyes still closed, he reaches out blindly to his nightstand to pick it up. He rubs his eyes with his hand trying to make some of the sleep dissipate. He opens his eyes and focuses on the screen. There’s a new text from Luke.

 _Good morning, I dreamed about you, writhing and moaning under me as I fucked you hard_.

He doesn’t know if it because he’s still sleepy or something else, but the text makes him shrug in disgust. He quickly deletes it and leaves his phone on the nightstand with a thud. He stays there with his eyes closed, resting his eyes and half asleep for ten minutes and then his alarm goes off.

He grunts in displeasure and covers his head entirely with the bedcovers. He’s got to work all day, for he’s covering for Orlando’s shift and his own, and now, he’s not looking forward to dinner with Luke. 

He throws the bed covers back to uncover his body and sits up on the bed and yawns, he shivers a little for it’s a really cold morning. 

The smell of fresh paint reaches him and he smiles, thinking about Aidan. He would like to see him again today, but that seems unlikely. And in no way in hell is he going back to Luke’s and end up having sex with him again in that house, not with Aidan there. Nope. Not that he’s planning on having sex with Luke again.

He gets up and put his slippers on then walks to the bathroom to take a shower. He lets the water run and let it heat up but it never does. 

“Oh shit,” he curses, for he remembers he’s a little behind on his rent, but he didn’t realize he was that late for his landlord to turn off his hot water. That man won’t give him a break, but at least he won’t have problems with the renovations; the man told him himself he could do any improvements he wants, as long as it doesn’t cost him a thing.

Just then, there’s a knock on the door. It’s probably his landlord and he’s not looking forward to see him, he’s really intimidating. 

He puts on his green hoodie and walks to the door to answer it. The man is standing there in all his tallness and he has to crane his neck and look up to meet his eyes. 

“Hi, Mr…Sr, ” he says awkwardly, going for his last name but realizing he doesn’t remember it at the last minute. Something like Pers…brand?

“The rent money, where is it?” the man says impatiently, staring at him with his cold blue eyes and entering his apartment without invitation. He has to take a few steps back to let the man in. He really intimidates him.

He tries not to stutter as he replies. “Yes, I have it. Let me go get it,” he says and quickly walks to his room. He kneels down on the side of the bed and takes out the shoe box from under the bed, where he keeps his money. It’s not a very safe place, he knows that, but he’s not very creative when it comes to hiding things. He takes all the papers and photos he’s got over the money stack to cover it and starts counting the right amount. He realizes his hands are trembling a little. 

_Calm down, Dean. Just give him the money and he’ll be on his way_ , he assures himself and once he’s got everything he puts the rest of the stack back in the box and under the bed. 

He gets back on his feet and goes to the living room. The landlord is standing in the kitchen, inspecting the new tiles. He slows down his pace and swallows loudly. 

“A friend came here yesterday and helped me do it…well, he did most of it actually.” He says as he walks over and points at the tiled floor “I hope it’s not a problem.”

“You have the money?” the man asks, without looking at him, ignoring him. His heart rate begins to quicken. 

“Uhm… yes… here it is,” he says, stuttering a little and reaches his hand holding the money over to the landlord. The landlord takes it and starts counting it, very slowly. Dean is a little creeped out and he wants the man out of his apartment, he didn’t even tell him he could come in.

The man finishes counting the last one and looks up at him, staring at him for a few seconds. He suspects the man likes to intimidate him. 

“I told you already, as long as you afford it you can do what you like,” he says and places the money in his pocket and walks towards the door. 

“Thank you,” he says timidly and looks up at the man’s retreating form. “Uhm, Sr? I noticed there’s no hot water…”

“It’ll be restored during the day” the man says and walks out of the apartment. He hurries out behind him.

“But…I have to go to work,” he protests weakly to the man as he walks away through the hallway. 

“Then don’t be late next time,” the landlord calls without looking back.

“Fucking great,” he curses and enters his apartment closing the door. Just his luck, he had to land the worst possible landlord ever, and he has taken money from his savings about three times this month… and now he has to take a cold shower. 

He goes to his room and takes his clothes to the bathroom. He takes his clothes off and turns the water on. He’ll positively freeze, but he’d rather that than going out not showered, so he’ll just have to man up.

He gets inside, and not without several squeals and curses, he begins to clean himself as fast as he can. 

Once he’s done, he’s shivering from cold and wraps himself completely in his huge and fluffy towel and stands there, trying to regain some of his warmth. The towel helps him a great deal and he’s thankful towards Jared for he was the one who gave it to him, before he left New Zealand, so he wouldn’t be cold at moments like this. 

He quickly gets dressed and ready for work.

\----------------------------------------------------

Aidan wakes up and realizes he’s got morning wood, and that he had the most amazing dream ever. Dean was in it, and they were making love. Dean was under him and he was thrusting into the blond, who moaned his name. He can’t stop the hand that wraps itself around his erection and starts to pump hard and fast. He imagines its Dean’s tight heat that’s wrapped around his cock instead of his own hand, moving up and down his length, riding him into completion. The mental image is enough to send him riling over the edge. 

“Dean,” he says, just seconds before he comes all over his stomach. He stays there regaining his breath and he runs his clean hand up over his face and then his messy curls. He has done it; he has fallen into his impulses and masturbated thinking about Dean. He should be mad at himself, but it felt so good, he can only smile at his day dream. It would absolutely be a dream to be able to make love to Dean.

He grabs some Purell form his nightstand and some Kleenex to clean himself as best he can, then stays there for a few seconds more, until he hears noise coming from Luke’s bedroom. He hears talking and giggling, then walking towards the hallway and a door opening. 

“Dean is here?” he whispers in a surprised tone. He quickly gets off his bed and stands up, walking as quietly as possible towards the door and pressing his ear against it. He hears voices again, and it’s not Dean.

He opens the door and walks out, feigning confusion when he sees Luke and the same man from yesterday in the kitchen, now staring at him.

“Good morning Aidan, want some breakfast?” he doesn’t answer and stares directly at the man standing beside Luke. He stares back and looks very uncomfortable.

“Luke, I have to go. Call me… or I’ll call you.” He says and quickly walks towards the door and looks back at him.

“Bye Aidan,” he says and leaves the house, the sound of the door closing resonates in the deep silence that settles inside the house.

“Have you got something to say, Aid. Cause you might as well just say it,” Luke says after some awkward silence and staring contest.

He sighs deeply, rubs both hands over his face, and then presses them together in a praying gesture under his chin; he closes his eyes thinking about what to say to Luke. He sighs again before he speaks.

“You’ve got a week…no, not a week, three days, you’ve got three days to tell Dean about your new friend, or I’ll tell him myself,” he says, putting emphasis on the three day with his hand.

“And what are you going to tell him? That I’m cheating on him? ‘Cause I’m not cheating on him, we don’t have a relationship, we are just fucking; he’s a great fuck and that’s it,” Luke says in a dismissive tone and he once again hates his friend incapacity to get riled up or irritated about anything.

“Luke, I…” he starts to say but Luke interrupts him.

“Here’s an idea Aidan, why don’t you just fuck him already, I can assure you he would like that, and he’s one fine fuck,” Luke says as he walks up to him. He’s angry and he wants to yell at Luke, hell, he wants to punch him, but what Luke said caught his attention, so he tries to calm himself down by taking a few deep breaths.

“What do you mean by that?” he asks curiously. Luke just smirks at him.

“Why don’t you ask him?” he says and walks to the bathroom. He hears the door closing a few minutes later, the shower running.

“What does he mean?” he asks out loud. Does Luke know something about Dean? 

He stands there a few more moments, till he realizes the water is not running anymore and the door from the bathroom opens and Luke’s foots steps sound in the hallway as he walks to his room. He moves at last and goes to his room to collect his towel and goes to the bathroom to take a long shower, all the while, trying to figure out what Luke could possibly have meant by that. Has Dean told Luke anything about him? Why would he do that?

He steps out of the shower, dries himself off and wraps his towel around his waist, then goes to his room to get dressed. He looks through the pile of clothes and grabs a white long sleeved shirt, underwear and clean jeans. 

He’s half dressed and he puts on the white shirt, but it’s a little too tight.

“What the hell?” he exclaims and looks down at the shirt and he doesn’t recognize it as his own. He takes it off to inspect it better and stares at it with a frown on his face, trying to remember if maybe Adam could have left it there, and then it clicks. Dean. He remembers Dean wearing it the night he and Luke had sex in his bed. He brings it to his face to smell it and it’s definitely Dean’s smell, a little faint, but it’s there and it brings a smile to his lips. 

He folds it neatly and leaves it under his pillow. He’ll give it to Dean later. 

He takes his own white long sleeved and puts it on, then goes to the kitchen to have a fast breakfast.

Grabbing his tools and jacket, and making sure his keys are inside he leaves the house smiling to himself. He has decided to tell Dean how he feels, and based on Luke’s insinuation, Dean feels the same way.

\--------------------------------------------

Dean spends all morning and afternoon serving coffee and he’s tired and stressed. He’s alone and the day is abnormally busy. His hand is hurting for he cut his hand with a broken glass and there was a table with very rude customers; three assholes who kept trying to humiliate him and called him up to ask him stupid things and when they were done, they complained loudly that he had mistaken their order and gave him half his tip, throwing it to the floor by his feet. Thankfully, the other customers were reassuring, telling him not to worry about the outburst and that those men were just assholes causing trouble. But it still hurt to be treated that way, and they succeeded in their humiliation. And to top it all, his throat and head hurt, and he’s felt chills all afternoon, announcing and imminent cold. Thankfully, he doesn’t work tomorrow and the thought makes him feel better.

At eight, he’s finally free to go after cleaning everything. He missed Aidan terribly; it would have been a great relief to have him helping him today and cheering him up…and maybe defending him from those assholes. He smiles for the second time that day at the thought of the Irishman as he puts on his jacket. 

He walks to his house and when he gets there, he feels awful and cold but his now cute and bright apartment cheers him up. 

He peels off his jacket and goes to the bathroom to test if there’s hot water and there is, so he decides to take a very hot shower and then think of how he’s going to tell Luke he’s in no mood to go out today. 

He dresses in comfy, warm clothes and takes his phone to call Luke.

The phone sounds calling for a while but there’s no answer so he decides to send him a text, explaining how awful he feels and that maybe they should leave it for another time. There’s no answer and he stays in his couch, watching TV covered with a blanket and drinking hot soup.

Half an hour later, he’s beginning to get drowsy but he doesn’t want to go to bed just yet, in case Luke shows up anyway…or maybe Aidan. He gets up and takes the soup recipient to the garbage and tidies the living room a little.

There’s a knock on the door and he silently prays for it to be Aidan, but it’s Luke who greets him outside his door. He smiles tiredly.

“Hello cutie, how are you?” Luke greets and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. “Did you forget about our plans?” Luke asks as he enters his apartment, much alike his landlord in the morning, imposing himself. He is carrying a bottle.

“Hi, Luke. I didn’t forget, but I’m coming down with a cold and…I texted you so that we might change them for another time, but you didn’t receive it, apparently.”

“Oh, well. Let’s just stay here, then. I brought whiskey, it’ll be good to your cold,” Luke says and hands him the bottle, then walks towards one of the armchairs to takes off his jacket and leave it there.

He nods and smiles weakly. All he wants is to get into bed and sleep till tomorrow. 

They sit in the couch and he wraps himself in the blanket while Luke serves two glasses of whiskey to the brim. He sets his mind to only have that one glass for he’s in no mood to be sick and hung-over too. He accepts the glass Luke hands him and takes a small sip.

“I’ve missed you little one,” Luke says sweetly and caresses his cheek and he feels a bit better of having Luke over. He smiles shyly at him. “You’ve been getting busy, I can see,” Luke says as he looks about the room. He feels cold dread creeping up on him.

“Uhm…yes, well, Aidan did most of it,” he replies and as he does so, he realizes he never asked Aidan if Luke would be ok with him coming over or even bothered to think about it. He didn’t even ask Aidan if he told Luke. 

“Aidan?” Luke asks looking at him curiously and he begins to panic. Luke didn’t know. 

He looks back at Luke and he knows his face shows nothing but fear. Luke stares at him for a second and laughs. “Relax, I’m not mad at Aidan for coming here, or at you either, I’m just surprised,” Luke says casually and takes a drink of his glass, he allows himself to relax a little. He takes a drink too.

“I thought you knew. So it doesn’t bother you?” he timidly asks, a little weary of the answer. 

“It doesn’t bother me. I’m actually glad you guys are hitting it off…and I’m sure you are glad too,” he says and leans closer to him with a smirk on his face as he says the last part. He blushes furiously and looks away, then takes a big gulp of the whiskey, burning his throat. “See?”

He looks back at Luke, trying to stop his blush. 

“I’m glad, and I like him, but just as friends,” he says in his defense but he knows it sounds like a lie.

“Just as friend, uh?” Luke asks in a teasing tone and leans forward towards the table to take the bottle of whiskey and refills his surprisingly empty glass. He feels a little bit warmer already and a tingling sensation on his stomach. Maybe another glass will help him with his nerves.

Luke fills his glass to the brim again and he thanks him.

“Yes, just as friends,” he assures Luke and smiles brightly. He can feel his inhibitions slipping away.

They both drink from their glasses and Luke sits closer to him, takes both glasses and leaves them on the table and then places one of his hands on Dean’s thigh, looking at him intently.

“You are really gorgeous, Dean, and I really like you,” Luke says in a deep voice and he smiles bashfully. Luke is acting very sweet. He likes this Luke a lot more.

“Thank you, I like you too,” he says shyly and timidly, places his own hand over the one on his thigh. Luke lifts his chin and leans closer to lock their lips in a kiss and his other hand moves from his thigh upwards to rest on his waist. He eagerly returns the kiss. 

They kiss for a while, hungrily tasting each other, until Luke moves away and stares at him with an amused grin on his face.

“My, aren’t you an eager little thing?” Luke teases and he blushes but smiles at the tease.

“Sorry,” he says and bites his bottom lip. Luke reaches forward with his hand and brushes his thumb over his lips. He is smiling.

“I want to be with you,” Luke blurts out and he doesn’t know how to answer that, for he’s not sure of what Luke means by that.

“What do you mean?” he dares to ask and Luke smiles broadly.

“I mean, I want us to be together. Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Luke asks and starts giving little kisses in his jaw and down towards his neck. “Say yes,” says Luke between kisses. He doesn’t say yes but he nods his head in agreement as he moans in pleasure at Luke’s ministrations.

He had been planning to end things with Luke tonight, but right now, all he can think about is how good Luke’s kisses feel.

Luke stops kissing him abruptly and grabs the bottle to fill his half empty glass again. 

“More whiskey?”

\-----------------------------------

Aidan leaves work at five. Adam has texted him to meet up and have a drink, so as soon as he gets home he takes a quick shower and dresses up nicely and goes out again to meet Adam.

He arrives at their usual pub and finds Adam already seated in a table with two beers. Adam waves and smiles when he spots him and it’s very easy to reach the table for it’s pretty early for it to be too crowded.

“So you are planning on telling him today. Are you nervous?” Adam asks as he refills his glass for the second time.

“Absolutely terrified, I’ve never liked anyone the way I like Dean and I have no idea what to expect. I mean, I know he likes me, but…I don’t know.” He says and takes his glass and gulps down almost half his beer.

“Easy Aidan, you want to be relaxed, not drunk while you tell him,” Adam says and takes his glass a little away from him. “I wish I could be there, I’m so excited!” he exclaims excitedly. He gives Adam a creeped out look. “Not excited like that, you bastard,”

He laughs and takes his glass again and drinks all the beer. “I’m just teasing you, you big dork,” he says and refills both their glasses.

He stays with Adam for a while longer and when they leave the pub, he realizes he’s a little tipsy, but that’ll give him the courage he needs to say what he needs to say. 

“You’ll let me know right away if it goes well, right?” Adam says as they stand in the driveway, waiting for a cab.

“IF it goes well? Boy, you have faith in me,” he says teasing and Adam gives him a nudge in his stomach. 

Of course I have faith in you, I know I’ll work out well for you two,” he says encouragingly. “I want every detail.”

“Thanks mate,” he says and gives Adam a hug. 

They say their goodbyes as Adam gets on a cab and Aidan starts walking towards Dean’s apartment. He takes his phone from his pocket to looks at the time. It’s almost ten and he starts to wonder if it’s too late, it probably is. But he remembers Dean saying he doesn’t work tomorrow, though he’s not completely sure. Well, if Dean’s awake, the lights must be on in his apartment. He loses nothing by going and check.

He keeps walking towards Dean’s apartment, and when he gets there, a smile forms on his lips for there’s light in Dean’s window. He hurries up the stairs and reaching the door he knocks on it. The sound of paces approaching the door and someone unlocking it from the inside make him feel butterflies in his stomach. 

_This is it, I’m going to tell him._ he thinks as he runs a hand through his curls, trying to untangle them a little.

The door opens and the butterflies are replaced by a sinking feeling as the person who opens the door is not Dean, but Luke. 

They stay stare at each other for a few seconds, Luke wearing a knowing smirk on his face, the complete opposite to his own confused frowning expression.

“Who is it?” asks Dean’s voice from inside the apartment and he’s about to turn the other direction and flee the scene when Luke opens the door completely to reveal him to Dean, who is sitting on his couch, a glass on his hand and looking kind of pissed.

“It’s our buddy Aidan,” Luke says in a teasing tone and Dean smiles broadly when he sees him. He must be pissed if this situation is not stressing for him at all, for it is a very awkward situation.

“Aidan, hi!” Dean exclaims happily and gets up from the couch and walks towards them at the door. He knows Dean is coming towards him for a hug but maybe he shouldn’t let Dean do it. He doesn’t have time to stop anything as Dean half throws himself to his arms and he has to wrap his arms around the kiwi to keep him from falling to the floor. Yep, he’s definitely drunk. 

“Come and join us Aid, we’ve got whiskey,” Luke says as he grabs his arm and pulls him inside the apartment and closes the door, while still with an armful of Dean.

He looks at the half empty bottle and then at Luke.

“I should go,” he says and pushes Dean gently away from his body who whines in apparent disappointment.

“What are you talking about? Stay, Dean wants you to stay,” Luke says smiling and stands closer to Dean giving him a nudge in his direction. “Don’t you Dean? You want Aidan to stay, right?”

Dean, who apparently has lost most of his inhibitions thanks to the alcohol, nods eagerly in agreement. 

“Please stay, Aid,” says Dean as he smiles sweetly and both his cute little hands folded together in front of him as if pleading.

Maybe if he hadn’t drank all those beers and if it weren’t for Dean’s absolutely endearing way of asking him to stay, he might have turned on his heels and walked away, but he stays.

He looks at Luke and they hold their stare for a few seconds until Luke smiles and make a gesture for him to sit in the couch.

“Come sit down, Aid, I’ll serve you a glass,” Luke says cheerfully and he looks at him suspiciously as his friend does as he said and serves him a glass.

“Sit down,” says Dean and walks towards the couch to sit beside Luke who has just sat down. Dean pats the empty space on his right. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds as he stands there and Luke stares at him. “Oh c’mon Aidan, sit on the damn couch.”

He sighs and approaches the couch sitting down awkwardly. Dean, smiling cheerfully, takes the glass Luke served for him and hands it over to him.

“Uhm, thank you Dean,” he says as he takes the glass and takes a small sip from it, then another one and then, he takes five long gulps and empties it quickly. He knows he should get up and leave, but a part of him is telling him not to, that if he leaves, Luke and Dean will have sex and that is the last thing he wants to happen. If he can stop it by staying here, he’ll endure whatever awkwardness the night brings, and if he’s a little tipsy, it’ll be easier to endure.

“Wow, you are thirsty. Want some more Aidan?” Luke asks and he’s already refilling his glass and Dean’s too. Aidan doesn’t notice how he leaves his own empty.  
“It really looks good, the apartment,” he says as he looks about the room, not sure of what else to say.

“Yes, I love it! It’s perfect,” Dean says happily and grabs his glass from the table to drink from it, then sets it back on the table and his hands come up to the zipper of his hoodie and they slide it down until it’s completely open, then he takes it off, throwing it towards one of the armchairs. He realizes he’s been staring when he looks up at Luke and he’s smirking, looking back at him.

Aidan doesn’t know what Luke’s intentions are, but he just doesn’t care right now, all he knows is that he’ll stay as long as necessary to prevent them from having sex, all the more if they actually want him to stay.

Dean grabs his glass from the table again to drink some more and mimicking Dean’s actions, he takes his own glass to his lips.  
Dean gets up suddenly and Luke stands up too. 

“Where are you going?” Luke asks while holding his arm out for Dean to take to steady himself but the kiwi doesn’t take and walks past Luke, careful not to trip on the table. 

“Going to the bathroom,” Dean says and Luke lets him walk away and disappear through the small hallway as he sits down.

“Do you want to go help him?” Luke teases and he sighs.

“I think he can manage on his own,” he says and drinks some more.

“You know, I don’t mind if you want to express your feelings with Dean, I’ll be more than happy to share with my friend. Besides, I think Dean would be totally on board with the idea,” Luke whispers, not too quietly.

“Luke, shut up. He might hear you” he whispers back, snapping at his friend as he looks nervously at the hallway. “And even if Dean is on board, what gives you the right to decide that, you don’t own him.”

“Well, no, but close. Just before you arrived I asked him to be my boyfriend and Dean said yes,” Luke says and the sinking feeling in his stomach is back. _They are boyfriends? Since when does Luke want to have a boyfriend?_

“And what about what you said this morning, that he’s just a good fuck?” he asks, whispering angrily.

“I actually like him, Aidan,” Luke says nonchalantly.

He knows Luke is doing this to upset him. If it were someone he’s not interested in, Luke would have ended it a long time ago. But now he wants to be Dean’s boyfriend? 

“Congratulations, then,” he says ironically after staring at Luke intently and gulps down the rest of the whiskey in his glass.

They hear the door of the bathroom opening and Dean walking towards them. When he appears, he looks really pissed, he has a drowsy smile on his cute face, and his golden strands are all messy.

“I think I’m drunk,” Dean says adorably and he leans on the wall beside him.

“Great, come here,” Luke says and reaches with his arms, motioning for Dean to come closer. Dean walks towards Luke and Luke takes his hand with one hand and the other circles the kiwi’s waist and moves Dean towards him, making him sit on his lap. Dean lets himself be maneuvered easily into a sitting position, facing him. The kiwi smiles warmly at him.

“I’m glad you are here, Aidan” he says and a warm feeling replaces the sinking in his stomach. He smiles back.

“I’m glad to be here too,” he lies and looks down at his empty glass, still in his hand. “Luke told me you are boyfriends now,” he comments and Dean seems confused for a second and then smiles slightly and nods, looking down at his lap. Luke wraps his arms tightly around Dean and kisses him on the cheek. Dean looks back at him, regret written in his features, then looks down again.

Aidan decides it’s time to leave, he won’t be able to stop them from sleeping together if they are boyfriends now, so there’s no reason for him to stay, but before he can say anything, Luke intervenes.

“I’m going for cigarettes, and some more alcohol, be right back,” he says, depositing Dean on the couch and standing up.

“Did you bring your car? I didn’t see it.” No he didn’t, he wouldn’t have come upstairs in the first place if he had.

“Yes, but I parked it crossing the street. Want me to bring you cigarettes?” Luke asks and he shakes his head.

“I’ve got mine.” 

“Ok, be right back,” Luke says and putting on his jacket, he leaves the apartment.

There’s a moment of awkward silence and he can feel Dean staring at him. He turns to face him and Dean looks on the verge of tears.

“What’s wrong?” he asks in a worried tone and reaches out with his hand to place it on Dean’s soft cheek.

“I’m sorry, Aidan,” Dean says and moves closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“What are you sorry about?” he asks and Dean looks towards the door then back at him.

“Luke,” Dean says. He sighs in understanding. 

“Look, Dean, you and I have nothing going on. We just kissed. And if you like Luke then you should be with him,” he says in a cool tone, realizing how completely different this speech is from what he had in mind before he came here. 

Dean looks up at him and smiles sadly. 

“Can we still be friends?” Dean asks shyly.

He thinks about it for a second, for he’s not sure that’s possible, it’ll hurt too much, but seeing Dean’s reaction at his hesitance, he replies.

“Of course,” he says and Dean’s expression changes from devastated to relived.

“Thank you, Aidan. I don’t want to lose you,” Dean says and leans forward to give him a hug. He doesn’t return it, but Dean doesn’t seem to mind, as he keeps his arms wrapped around, sighing in content. They stay there for long minutes and he closes his eyes to enjoy the feeling of Dean’s embrace and the warmth his body emits. 

He doesn’t want to lose Dean either, and Dean will need a friend once Luke hurts him. 

He realizes they’ve been hugging far too long and Luke might show up soon. 

“Uhm, Dean?” he asks, placing his hand on Dean’s waist and pushing him slightly away, for Dean still hasn’t let go and the kiwi quickly un-wraps his arms from Aidan’s body.

“Sorry,” Dean says shyly and leans forward to take the almost empty bottle from the table and refills half of his glass and then pours the rest of the whiskey in Aidan’s glass. 

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” he asks Dean in a reproaching tone and Dean only smiles at him.

There’s a knock on the door and Dean makes to stand up but he beats him to it.

“Stay there or you might fall,” he says and goes to open the door. Luke stands there, holding two bottles of vodka. He moves to the side to let the man in.

“Don’t you think that’s a little too much?” he asks as he closes the door.

“Nope,” Luke says and leaves both bottles on the table.

Aidan thinks about leaving again, but he doesn’t trust Luke, and Dean is already wasted so he’ll stay to make sure Dean doesn’t end up intoxicated. 

The things he has to do for his friends.


	12. Chapter twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so, sorry for my delay, I been quite busy of late, but here it is finally. Had a hard time writing this chapter, so I apologize if it's not good...and please, ignore any mistake, unless it's a grammar mistake or a misspelled word, you can tell me then so I can make it right, remember English is not my first language so it's always good to learn more ;D  
> Oh, and there’s a Craig somewhere in there, its Dean’s jerk of an ex boyfriend, yes, Craig Parker, though it’s not easy imagining him being a jerk, he’s too much of a cutie, but then, so is Luke… hope you enjoy!

Aidan knows he shouldn’t be drinking more, but Luke is insistent, and so is Dean in his drunkenness and it doesn’t help the fact that Dean and Luke keep snuggling and kissing every five minutes, well, more like Luke kissing Dean. So he drinks a glass of vodka, and that one glass turn into two, and he can feel himself getting pissed and very relaxed. Even this situation seems normal now and he’s comfortably sharing a cigarette with Luke, talking and laughing at stupid memories from back home.

“Hey, Dean?” Luke says, and attracts his attention, he looks at the couple sitting beside him, Dean is sitting between them and even though he has stopped drinking after two glasses of vodka, thanks to Aidan’s whispered advice, he looks utterly drunk. 

“Yeah?” Dean replies in a slugged voice. He’s slumped on the couch, with his eyes closed; listening leisurely to the music in the background Luke has put on the stereo.  
It makes Aidan feel a tinge of angst how confident Luke moves around Dean’s apartment, like he owns it and much against his will, his mind starts forming images, images of Dean and Luke together, acting domestic and couply… and in love, on a lazy Sunday morning having breakfast together and reading the paper while they cuddle in the couch they are sitting on now.

“Do you remember your little mistake the other day?” Luke asks from the other end of the couch, snapping him off from his musings and he wonders who the question was directed to, but one look at the blond beside him tells him to whom. 

Dean doesn’t open his eyes but a smile forming on his lips tells him he remembers said mistake Luke is referring to.

“Yeah,” he replies again, blushing.

“Would you mind if I tell Aidan about it?” Luke asks, his tone is playful and to Aidan, he doesn’t seem to be drunk at all, which is weird because one of the bottles of vodka is half empty.

Dean opens his eyes now and turns to look at him, studying him for a few seconds. He stares back, admiring Dean’s lovely features. He feels the intense need to kiss those lips again, and hold his pliant body against his own. He realizes he’s staring and drinks some more of his vodka to distract himself and set the glass back on the table. He can’t keep his eyes from Dean for long, though.

“Uhm… I… don’t mind,” Dean says finally and continues to study him. The warm feeling in his guts he usually has around Dean when they are alone comes creeping with force and he feels really comfortable and content.

“What is it?” he asks, now looking at Luke, who has an amused grin on his face.

“I’m so glad you ask,” Luke replies, seemingly very amused. Taking the almost spent cigarette of his hand bringing it to his lips to inhale the last drag, he settles on the couch so he’s facing Aidan then puts out the cigarette in a small plate he brought from the kitchen to use as an ashtray.

“Well, you see, Aidan; the other day… Dean and I were in the middle of sex…” he says and circles Dean’s back with his arm, forcing him to sit up and move closer towards his body and sit facing Aidan, as he leans back a little on Luke’s chest. He stares at Dean and the kiwi’s blush seems to be getting more prominent as he looks down at his lap, suddenly shy again. The comfortable feeling is gone, but there is no sinking feeling replacing it, just drunken indifference. 

Luke continues and Dean looks back at him. “…and I’m thrusting into him…and he’s moaning from pleasure…” Luke says and Dean continues to look at him. For some reason, what Luke is telling him doesn’t bother him. On the contrary, as he hears Luke’s voice, he can picture Dean in his head, moaning from pleasure, writhing and sweating. And the fact that Dean is staring intently at him, only makes it easier for his mind to form the image. “…and he is so far gone from pleasure, he starts speaking, telling me to go faster…” Luke says and circles both arms around Dean, securing them over Dean’s stomach, drawing circles over the shirt and then lifting it carefully with his fingers to show Dean’s skin a little, and placing his chin on Dean’s shoulders, talking right by Dean’s ear. And he can’t stop staring at the blond. “…and at one moment, he intended to say my name…but apparently, he was thinking about you…cause what came out was not my name, but yours… he said your name while I was fucking him…” Luke finishes and places his lips over Dean’s neck and kisses the skin there.

Dean continues to stare at him without saying anything, his breathing has quickened and his cheeks are rosy pink. 

He is still processing what Luke said, and in his drunken state it’s not easy to do; question after question pop up in his mind. Is it true or is Luke lying? But what of the way Dean is looking at him? Was he really thinking about him in that intimate moment with Luke? Does Dean want him? And all he wants if for Luke to suddenly disappear, so he can be alone with Dean.

“What do you think of it, Aid? That Dean said your name while I was buried deep inside him?” Luke asks in a husky voice and he looks up at Luke, then back at Dean who hasn’t broken the stare, wanting to see his reaction apparently. 

He swallows thickly and realizes he hasn’t said anything in a while, and as he stares at Dean, his expression tells him the kiwi is a little insecure and afraid of what he might think about the whole thing. 

Luke has started to give Dean little bites on the side of his neck and Dean seems be enjoying them.

“Do you like that, Aidan?” Luke asks seductively. His breathing has quickened too he notices, and almost out of instinct, he nods his head, ‘cause if he’s completely honest with himself, he’d say it’s a mayor turn on for him and he really, really likes it.

“See, Dean? He likes it,” Luke whispers against Dean’s neck and then delivers a noisy, wet kiss on the delicate skin. Dean closes his eyes, relief apparent in his features.

_Maybe he thought I’d be upset about it_.

“Do you want to kiss Aidan?” Luke’s question attracts his attention as he addresses Dean and Dean opens his eyes to look directly at him again. He starts giggling suddenly and Aidan has to smile at his cute reaction.

“What are you doing, Luke?” he asks in a relaxed tone, he knows what Luke is doing, but somehow, the alcohol has made everything in this situation seem less fucked up.

“I’m asking him a legitimate question,” Luke says as he leans closer over Dean’s shoulder, “and what about you, Aidan? I’m sure you’d love to kiss these soft lips,” he says as he grabs Dean’s chin in one hand gently and rubs his thumb over Dean’s lips.

Aidan feels the effect Luke’s words have on him as he admires Dean’s half parted lips. There’s a sudden tightness in his jeans and he tries to hide it with a cushion.

“Dean, why don’t you go and kiss him? He’ll be happy to kiss back I’m sure…” Dean seems to be contemplating the idea as he looks questioning at him. He also contemplates it, besides, what’s the worst that can happen? 

He looks up at Luke who seems very into the idea of him and Dean kissing. Why? He has no idea. It must be one his friend’s many kinks, but if Luke wants them to kiss, and if Dean seems to want to kiss him it too, he’s more than happy to comply. 

He reaches for his glass on the table and drinks all the vodka left then places it down again and looks at Dean. He’s looking back and he smiles bashfully at the blond. Luke probably doesn’t know they have kissed already, though it’s possible that Dean has told him, either way. It doesn’t matter anyway.

_I shouldn’t even be considering this_ , he thinks, but dismisses the thought quickly as Luke shoves Dean just a tad too roughly in his direction, making the kiwi fall face first against his lap, who giggles drunkenly.

“Careful, you douche bag” he chastises Luke, who is grinning in satisfaction taking a cigarette and lighting it. He helps Dean back into a sitting position, and conveniently, Dean ends up sitting a lot closer to him than Luke. 

“C’mon Lovebirds, get on with it, I know you both want it,” Luke says, half mumbling, with the cigarette in his mouth as he opens the bottle and fills their three glasses with the clear liquid.

Dean stares at his hands folded in his lap, then at him sideways, a grin forming in his fair features. He can only think about Dean and how his warm body feels against his own. Luke is completely out of his sensorial field and the alcohol running through his veins give reality a tinge of dreamlike fogginess. He feels Dean shift beside him and stand up, then twisting around he crawls onto the couch on his knees as he stares at him expectantly, then, the blond leans forward and places both his arms on each side of Aidan, supporting his weight on the back of the couch and lifts one of his legs to place on Aidan’s other side so he can straddle him, and once he’s straddling him, he lowers his body and sits his bottom down against his lap.

Aidan stares at Dean’s movements in a daze like state and continues to do so when the kiwi is seated comfortably in his lap. Dean looks back at him, smiles and then licks his lips invitingly. He moves his hands as if moved by outer forces and gently, places them on Dean’s waist, not sure if to secure the blond in place or to push him away, but given the fact he doesn’t even make a move to push him away, he goes with the first. Dean giggles and places his own hands on Aidan’s chest, and then, slowly and not without a bit of hesitance, the kiwi leans forward and very softly places his lips on Aidan’s.

He is perplexed as he sits there with his eyes open while Dean gently places his mouth against his with closed eyes. He looks to his left careful not to move his head to much, to where Luke is sitting and he’s obviously enjoying the show, holding a glass to lips and a lit cigarette on his other hand, while looking intently at them, hiding his grin with the glass. Dean stops and withdraws when he fails to return the kiss, studying him for a second and he looks at the kiwi. Doubt written all over Dean’s face and he reaches with one hand to touch the stubbled cheek above him in a reassuring gesture, smiling sweetly at Dean. It’s all the blond needs to launch himself at him and properly kiss him in a passionate way, clashing their lips together and circling his arms around Aidan’s neck.

Aidan knows this is one the moments he’ll regret with force, for this should not happen this way. Dean should be with him, and their making out shouldn’t be some twisted game Luke has set up, but he can’t bring himself to care, at least not enough to stop this, for Dean feels too incredibly good against his lap and he can feel himself growing hard against the pressure of Dean’s bum against his crotch. 

He grabs Dean’s waist again with both hands and with more force now, and carefully starts to lift the hem of the dark blue shirt Dean is wearing on the right side, were Luke can’t see, and his fingertips come in contact with warm, soft skin. He runs his fingers over as much skin as he can without being seen by Luke, spreading them over the skin on Dean’s waist, down to the hip and over Dean’s lower back, feeling two cute dimples the kiwi has there apparently, something new to add to the list of irresistible qualities the blond possesses. 

Dean’s hot mouth over his own feels incredibly erotic and vodka has never tasted or smelt better.

_This is wrong…on so many levels, but feels so right,_ he thinks and continues to kiss and prod that delicious mouth with his own, exploring the warm, wet cavity with his tongue. This kiss is a lot different than their first, more urgent and less romantic, but wonderful just the same.

For a moment, they disappear, and Luke is nowhere to be seen, and it’s just the two of them, entwined in the erotic nature of their embrace. All his worries fly out the window and the intensity of their kiss send shivers down his back.

The kiss becomes more urgent, and the touches bolder and he can feel Dean’s erection pressed against his stomach; his own, painfully tight against the fabric of his jeans, desperate for more friction against Dean’s rump. 

Unconsciously, he grabs Dean’s hips and presses the kiwi’s body down unto his crotch, eliciting twin, wanton moans from each of them as Dean’s groin also receives the friction it desperately seems to need also, breathing hard as they devour each other. 

Both their inspiration breaks abruptly as Aidan feels Luke moving towards them and hands, not his own, are placed on Dean’s waist, colliding with his. Dean seems not to notice, too far gone and only when Aidan breaks the kiss does he realize there are four hands on him.

“Don’t stop because of me,” Luke says in a husky tone and he begins to nip at Dean’s neck from behind, where he’s kneeling on the floor. Aidan takes his hands off Dean giving room for Luke’s to roam freely over Dean’s torso and take off the blonds’ shirt in a single move.

Dean is panting and staring at him with a confused expression on his face, suddenly regaining some of his consciousness, folding his arms over his chest to cover himself.

“My shirt,” Dean says simply and looks around himself to looks for his shirt that lies in the floor behind Luke.

“You don’t need it,” Luke says and continues to kiss Dean on the neck then down his back, producing an involuntary shudder on the blond.

Aidan’s crash into reality takes the balm from the situation and he sees clearly now how fucked up all this is, and Dean is still sitting on his lap, flush against his now waning erection.

He needs to stand up and leave now, for Dean and Luke are now a couple and this has all been a huge, stupid and drunk mistake. 

“I…have to…,” he trips out and makes to move and quite obviously, Dean moves off his lap, understanding instantly Aidan’s discomfort as he probably feels the same way given the look on his face, and stands up with Luke helping him up from behind.

“Why so shy all of a sudden? Weren’t you two eating each other out just a moment ago?” Luke teases maliciously while hugging his arms around Dean and locking them on the blonds’ front, wearing a huge grin on his face.

“Fuck off,” he snaps, annoyed at Luke’s amusement at this whole mess. “I’m gonna go,” he says while he stands up and starts looking for his jacket.

“You…you don’t have to…go,” Dean says weakly, setting free of Luke’s embrace as he puts on his shirt, clearly regretting what they just did but still drunk enough not to take the full weight of it all.

“See? He wants you to stay,” Luke says and hugs Dean again and starts kissing the white neck. Dean closes his eyes and lets out a moan of pleasure, and Aidan’s eyes are transfixed on the kiwi’s expression. _So that’s how Dean looks when he’s in the middle of sex_ , he thinks and licks his lips involuntarily. 

He takes a step towards the couple. Dean lets out another moan, louder this time, and throws his head back a little as Luke stars nipping the spot just below the kiwi’s ear and presses himself further back against Luke’s taller body. Luke’s hands, which were previously rubbing the kiwi’s tummy, disappear under Dean’s shirt and start trailing all over the blonds’ torso. He stares at the couple, fixed mostly on Dean, and as he moans for the third time when Luke grabs the kiwi’s hips to bring Dean’s bum closer against his crotch, while pushing forward to increase the contact, Aidan feels a jolt of pleasure right to his crotch and he can feel himself getting hard again. Dean is a sight to behold any day; but right now, moaning and writhing in pleasure, he can’t think of a more enticing fantasy he’s ever had before, or a more beautiful view.

He wants to touch, he wants to take the kiwi in his arms and do unspeakable things to that supple, gorgeous body in front of him, so he reaches out with one arm, his hands barely touching Dean’s arm when the blond opens his eyes, glassed over by lust as he stares at him, and in barely audibly whisper- half-sob, a name leaves the plump lips. “Aidan.”

It’s all the fuel Aidan needs to let every thought aside and let the primal instincts take over. He launches himself at Dean, grabbing the kiwi’s face in both hands as he clashes their lips together. It’s desperate and needy, and there’s too much tongue, but it’s perfect, Dean kissing back just as desperate as Aidan. 

He roams Dean’s body again, but this time, he doesn’t care about Luke being there, he puts his hands under the shirt and touches every expanse of skin he can, delighting at the softness of Dean’s back, then his hands roam south, to caress the lower back, and even further to cup Dean’s round cheeks with both hands and squeeze them. Dean moans at the action and he relishes at the fact he created the sound and swallowed it too. 

When Luke decides to join in, this time, he doesn’t retreat, all the contrary, he hugs Dean to him and kisses him even more deeply if possible, and as he feels Luke’s hands on Dean’s back, he pushes the invading hands away, but Luke is relentless and his hands come back, this time embracing Dean from behind and pressing his body against Dean again. 

He opens his eyes and breaks the kiss to look over Dean’s shoulder’s, anger clear in his eyes as he locks gazes with Luke, who looks at him unfazed wearing his signature smirk and lifting an eyebrow, staring at him defiantly. It clicks then, how he has fallen right into Luke’s little sick game. 

Disgust replaces anger quickly, and he breaks their stare contest to look down at the blond. Dean, oblivious to their non verbal exchange and completely lost in his lust and drunkenness, reaches forward and starts kissing his neck and circles his arms around Aidan’s waist, pulling him closer; Luke still pressed behind him. 

He grabs Dean’s arms gently, but firmly, and pulls the arms away from him and steps back, away from the blonds’ mouth and turns around, walking towards the door, he opens it and steps outside and just as he’s closing it he hears Dean’s voice calling him but he doesn’t care. 

He practically runs down the stairs, managing not to trip and when he reaches the bottom he starts walking. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he knows its cold as hell as he realizes he doesn’t have his jacket on. He starts looking for a cigarette in his clothes but finds nothing. _Fuck_.

How did he fall so easily into Luke’s game? Dean won’t be happy at all once he’s sobered up.

He continues to walk for a long while, and without noticing, he ends up at Adam’s place. He takes his phone he thankfully had in his back pocket and looks at the time. It’s 3:00 am and he contemplates the idea of just going back to where he came from and head home, but he thinks against it. He knows Adam won’t mind, and he really needs a friend now. Also, he’s pissed, so coherent thoughts are not in order right now. 

He looks for Adam’s number and it takes more effort than it normally would and he notices how drunk he really is when he stumbles and almost falls over, and he would if it weren’t for the building breaking his fall.

“Fuck,” he curses and sits down on the front steps. He searches through his phone again, and this time he succeeds. Adam takes about a minute to answer, and when he does, his voice reveals he has just woken up.

“Aidan? What’s wrong?” Adam asks worriedly and Aidan has to smile at his friend concern.

“Uhm…I…I’m down stairs,” he slurps out and Adam instantly starts getting up as he can tell from the sound of Adam fumbling with clothes and silent cursing here and there.

“Ok, I’ll be right down,” Adam says and ends the call. He nods in response and laughs stupidly when he realizes Adam couldn’t see the gesture.

Not even a minute passes and he hears the sound of Adam opening the door behind him. He turns around and stands up, wobbling a little.

“Aidan…you’re drunk. What happened?” Adam asks with a frown on his face as he walks down the steps to meet him. He looks up at Adam and smiles.

“Well…things didn’t quite go as planned,” he replies in a sad, drunken voice and Adam’s face contorts with sadness and understanding.

“Oh, Aid,” Adam says and leans forward to give him a hug. He hugs back and they stay there for a few seconds before Adam pulls away.

“Come, you must be freezing. And where the hell is your jacket?” Adam chastises him while leading him up the steps and into the building by the hand. He follows his friend quietly inside the building, up the stairs and into Adam’s apartment.

He loves how cozy Adam’s place is, and how warm Adam keeps it at cold times. It was definitely the right choice to come here. 

He sees Adam disappear in direction to his room and when he comes back, he has a warm blanket in his arms and uses it to wrap Aidan in it and then motions for him to sit in his couch to which he complies.

“I’ll make tea. Wait here,” Adam says and he nods. Adam leaves the living room and he is left alone with his thoughts.

_Where the hell is my jacket?_

Adam returns a few minutes later holding a tray with two steaming cups of tea and some muffins in plate.

“Whoa, did you make them?” he asks in surprise. He loves Adam’s muffins, and just about anything he cooks, but his muffins are his absolute favorites.

“Yes, they are blueberry. You are in luck apparently,” Adam says as he knows blueberry muffins are Aidan’s favorites.

“You are the best friend ever,” he says as he takes one and starts eating with eagerness only drunkenness can muster… and smoking weed. “They are perfect!”

“So…what happened, Aid?” Adam asks, visibly impatient to know what happened to him, taking his of tea cup from the tray and blowing on it to cool it down a little then takes a sip.

He finishes the muffing and takes the cup from the tray to take a sip from the tea and it’s delicious too, just how he likes it.

“This is amazing,” he says, referring to the tea and takes another sip from it.

“Yes, thank you and you are welcome,” Adam says impatiently, he also takes one of the muffins. 

“No, really, you sseriourrsly…seriously are…the best cooker ever…and the bestest of friends. Did I tell you that? I love you Adam, you are my best friend ever, no one else,” he tells Adam, stumbling with the words, trying to focus intently on his friend’s eyes as best he can and leaning closer to Adam’s face to try and make his point.

“God, you stink of alcohol,” Adam complaints as he waves a hand between their faces to dissipate the smell. He dismisses the complaint by reaching for another muffin and munching happily on it. “Alright, Aid, I think you should go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning,” Adam says and waits for Aidan to finish his tea and eat the last muffin and then takes away the now empty tray.

He starts to rearrange the couch cushions so he can lie down but Adam stops him. “No, you’ll sleep with me, c’mon,” Adam says and takes his hand to help him stand up and leads him towards his room. He stumbles on the carpet and almost falls down taking Adam with him, but miraculously, Adam manages to hold him up.

“Damn you are heavy! Come, and don’t trip again you big drunk,” Adam reprimands him and he only laughs in return.

They reach Adam’s bedroom and Aidan immediately lies down on the soft, inviting bed, spread eagled in the middle, taking most of the space.

“Aidan!” Adam whines and he knows what it’s about so he rolls on his back to one end of the bed. “No, Aidan, that’s my side. Aidan. Aidan! Hugh, you drunk bastard…” Adam continues to whine but he can barely register his friend’s voice anymore and he falls into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When he wakes up, all he can feels is a horrible headache. He moans miserably, still half asleep and with his eyes closed. He feels footsteps approaching and he opens his eyes to see who they belong. Adam is there, holding a glass of water. A confusion frown forms on his face. _Why is Adam here?_

“Here, take this,” says Adam while holding out the glass of water and some pills in his other hand.

“Wha…” he mumbles and rubs his eyes with his hands, attempting to clear some of his sleep and confusion. 

“For your headache, dummy, sit up,” Adam says and nudges him on the shoulder, encouraging him to move. He slowly and with much effort complies and takes the pills and water form Adam and gulps down everything in one go. He’s very thirsty.

“What the hell happened?” he asks Adam, his voice all raspy and he closes his eyes trying to stop the word from spinning.

“I was hoping you would tell me since it was you who showed up drunk at 3:00 am,” Adam says and in a second, all the images of last night come flooding down on him. The vodka, the kisses, him and Dean making out while Luke watched them…Luke touching Dean as he kissed him.

“No, no, no, no,” he repeats as he covers his face with both hands. He has fucked up spectacularly and he can’t even blame Luke for it. Yes, it was Luke’s idea, but Luke didn’t force all those glasses of vodka down his throat and he certainly didn’t force him to kiss Dean.

"What? Aidan. What happened?"

“No, no, no” he continues, shaking his head in denial.

“Aid! Calm down,” Adam yells and pries his hands away from his face. He is able to calm down a bit and sighs loudly. Adam looks at him questioningly.

“Fuck,” he curses and Adam sighs in frustration and sits down on the bed. 

“Please, Aid, just tell me, it can’t be as bad as you make it seem,” Adam assures him and rubs his leg in a comforting gesture.

“Trust me, it’s bad,” he says as he crosses his arms in front of him and leans back on the pillows.

“I’ll be the judge of that, but you have to tell me,” Adam says and smiles sweetly at him and somehow it makes him feel better. Adam always makes everything better.

“Ok, I’ll tell you, but I’m sure I’ll tell it better after you’ve fed me breakfast,” he says and smirks playfully at Adam.

“You bastard.”

\------------------------------------

When he wakes up, he realizes he is sitting on a cold floor, his bathroom’s cold floor, leaning against the toilet and everything is spinning. He’s nauseated and his head and throat hurts, and by the looks of it, he spent a good portion of the night emptying his guts out. He’s also shivering from cold, for he’s only wearing his underwear, and the cold has settled in like he expected. His nose is stuffed and the pain in his joints almost matches his aching head. 

Again, he did it again, he drank more than he can handle and he’s paying the consequences. He gets up carefully, trying not to move his head too much and walks out of the bathroom, noticing the soreness in his bum. So he had sex with Luke and doesn’t remember, again. _Great, just great_. 

He looks towards the living room and his eyes set on the three empty bottles and ashtrays filled with cigarette butts and the smell in his apartment is that of stale cigarette smoke. It’s disgusting.

His head is pounding, he’s dizzy and his mouth is dry. He walks over to his small kitchen area and fills a glass with clear cold water and at the time, it’s the most amazing thing ever. He gulps it down greedily and once he’s finishes that one, he fills it a second time and gulps it down just as greedily as the first one.

Once his thirst is somewhat subdued for the time being he fishes out some aspirins from one of the cabinets and gulps one down with more water.

The smell of his apartment makes him gag a little. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to fill himself with water. He does his best to keep it down and it works, but he’ll have to get rid of the smell in his apartment or he won’t be able to keep the water down for long.

He walks over to the coffee table and takes the plate Luke used as an ashtray and quickly walks over to the kitchen holding the plate out, as far as he can from his face and looks for a bag to put the contents in and ties it closed tightly. He washes the plate and puts the bag in the trash can then walks over to the window by the kitchen and opens it. He’ll freeze, but he’d rather that than continuing smelling that disgusting smell.

There’s something that start pushing through the fog in his mind, a suppressed memory trying to reach the surface as he leans over the kitchen counter. Something important, something Luke asked him. _Shit_ , he curses internally, Luke asked him to be his boyfriend and he didn’t rejected him. He groans in frustration at his stupidity. He had planned on ending things with Luke, but agreed to be his boyfriend instead. The thing is he never expected Luke to come up with something like that. Based on Aidan’s not too subtle hints about his friend’s promiscuity, Luke asking him to be his boyfriend didn’t seem quite logical and the proposal did hit him like a train, one he couldn’t dodge in time and ended with him agreeing with an unconvinced nod. 

But that’s not all. There’s something else he’s leaving out of his consciousness. _Aidan_.

Aidan came last night, after he and Luke had nearly emptied the bottle of whiskey and he eagerly begged for him to stay when it seemed quite clear the Irishman wanted out. _I begged him to stay_.

He roams the living room with his tired, dry eyes and they land on a piece of cloth discarded over the armchair closest to the door. _Aidan’s jacket_.

Is he still in the apartment? Did Aidan stay? No, he remembers him leaving; the door slamming shut. His own voice calling after him, but Aidan didn’t turn back.  
Angry. Was Aidan angry? He sure looked like it, but why? And then, he remembers: them kissing, Luke encouraging them to do so, him sitting wantonly on the Irishman’s lap, moaning and lapping hungrily at Aidan’s neck, kissing his lips, touching him, tasting him. _Is Aidan disgusted by me?_ he wonders, but he’s almost sure he remembers Aidan returning the kiss and touches, but then, why did he leave so abruptly?

He covers his face with his hands, supporting his elbows on the counter. He shivers from the cold and he realizes he is still almost naked and feeling worse than before. He starts coughing and a wave of nausea hits him and he’s not sure if it is because of the alcohol over-intake or the fact that Aidan, his only friend here in London might be mad at him. He covers his mouth with one hand, trying in vain to stop the impending wave and he rushes to the bathroom. 

A few minutes later, he’s hunched over the toilet, dry heaving and trying to regain his breath and control the nausea waves that keep coming in floods.

Once he’s finally able to control the nausea and has stood up to clean his mouth in the sink, he looks at his reflection in the mirror. He looks awful; his hair a mess, sticking up in every direction, eyes red and puffy, and deadly pale. 

_Of course! Luke told Aidan about them becoming boyfriends_ , he remembers suddenly. _I cheated on my new boyfriend with his best friend. Well done Dean._

So maybe Aidan was disgusted by him after all… and by the whole situation. But why did he kiss back? Maybe he wasn’t the only one who got drunk last night. He probably stormed out when he realized what they were doing. He doesn’t even want to imagine what Aidan will think about him from now on.

“You are pathetic”, he whispers self-depreciating, looking at his reflection and then lowers his gaze not wanting to look at himself anymore.

He washes his face and brushes his teeth, hoping he won’t throw up again and blows his nose on a tissue. He’s going to need a lot of tissues. 

He gets out of the bathroom after relieving himself and walks to his room, finding to his surprise, Luke sleeping sprawled on the bed, taking most of the space. He quietly walks over and leans over the man’s sleeping form. For some reason, he doesn’t want to sleep next to him, so he looks for his clothes from last night, thrown carelessly all over the floor and puts them hastily on before he heads back to the living room. He’ll put on clean ones after he’s showered.

The blanket he left there last night is still there so he leans down on the couch and covers himself with the blanket and leaves a box of tissues on the coffee table and a glass with water. He has taken a second aspiring for he threw up the first one.

He wants to sleep, hell, he needs to, but Luke being just in the next room prevents him from doing so and he stays there, looking at the ceiling and thinking about Luke. If he’s honest with himself, he doesn’t really want to be Luke’s boyfriend and the thought about having to tell that to the other man forms a knot in his stomach. He’ll have to man up and speak his mind but that’s no easy feat for him. If it weren’t for Jared, he wouldn’t even be here in the first place, he’ll still be back in New Zealand waiting for Craig to come back home, praying for him to be sober and alone, something he hates himself for. 

His thoughts are interrupted by a noise coming from his bedroom. He sits up and waits for Luke to appear. When he does, he’s wearing nothing but boxers. He blushes and looks away.

“Good morning, you,” Luke greets him and he gives him a tight smile in return. “Are you done throwing up?”

He blushes even more at that and nods his head, still not uttering a word to the brunette.

Luke doesn’t seem to mind at all as he shrugs and turns around to go to the bathroom and without closing the door, starts relieving his bladder. He feels really uncomfortable having Luke over, acting like he owns the place, but he’s already kind of used to feeling a little bit powerless around him.

The toilet being flushed tells him Luke is coming out of the bathroom and when he does, there’s a smile on his lips while he looks at him straight in the eye. The brunette sits down heavily on the couch beside him and covers his legs with one end of the blanket and leans over to give him a noisy kiss.

“Hey, cutie, why don’t you go and make us some breakfast?” Luke suggests and grabs the control from the table and turns the TV on not sparing him a second glance as his eyes fix on the screen. He stares at Luke for a second, a frown forming on his brow. He was hoping Luke would just up and leave, but that’s not going happen soon, not until he’s fed him breakfast apparently. 

“Uhm…ok,” he says softly and stands up, still feeling like shit and a little dizzy. He grabs the tissues and walks toward the kitchen.


	13. Chapter thirteen

“So you ended up kissing Dean…in some sort of threesome, with Luke included,” Adam says as he tries to understand what happened, “…that’s kind of hot,” Adam adds and he throws him a dirty look while munching on the delicious breakfast Adam made as they sit on the table in Adam’s sunlight kitchen. 

“Can you focus? I need help here,” he says and moans as he tastes the muffins again. “These are perfect.”

“Yes, you said that a couple of times last night… when you ate most of them,” Adam says and it’s his turn to send him a dirty look.

“Well, you see, I was drunk so it doesn’t count,” he says and smiles cheekily at Adam as he grabs another muffin. “So… advice?”

“Well, to be honest, I don’t have one. You were drunk; the three of you, so there’s really nothing much to it other than a drunken mistake. But, if it’ll make you feel better you should go talk to Dean,” Adam says and takes a sip of his milk tea.

“Yeah, I probably should,” he says and crosses his arms in front of him, supporting them on the table. “There’s something else, though.”

“What is it? What else did you do to the poor guy?” Adam teases and he kicks him gently on the shin under the table.

He sighs and looks intently at Adam. “They are a couple now.”

“What?” Adam asks frowning. 

He sighs again and starts playing with his napkin not wanting to look at Adam anymore. “That. Luke asked Dean to be his boyfriend and Dean said yes.” He doesn’t want to see the sympathetic expression on his friend’s face.

“Oh Aidan, I’m sorry,” Adam says in a sad tone and reaches with his hand to rub his arm in a comforting way. “But this is so unlike Luke,” Adam continues, confusion written on his face.

He nods in response. “The worst part is that he’s doing it to bother me… I mean, he’s supposed to be my friend, he knows how much I like Dean...”

“You think?” Adam asks; incredulity in his tone.

“I know,” he replies firmly. “I just never realized before what an asshole Luke really is.”

“I’m really sorry, Aid,” Adam says in his sweetest voice and he can’t help but smile at his friend. He really needs to rethink who his best friend is for real, for Adam is a far better friend than Luke ever was.

“What am I going do?” he asks with a shrug of his shoulders and smiles sadly at his friend.

“Well, first of all, you should talk to Luke and tell him what a horrible friend he has been and that he needs to stop. And secondly, you need to talk to Dean. Tell him how you feel about him, even if he’s in a relationship with Luke. You know they won’t last much…well, that if Dean’s smart enough not to take Luke’s crap for long.”  
Aidan feels a pang of dread at Adam’s comment. The truth is Dean might not be strong enough to dump Luke at the first signs of Luke’s cheating nature. Who knows? He might endure and endure, given the kiwis’ past experiences, he might even think himself deserving of Luke’s infidelity. Dean will need help and he’ll be more than willing to offer it.

“Yes, you are right.” 

Adam was right. He should pour his feelings on Dean and see what happens. What does he has to lose anyway?

“And what’s the deal with Dean? Didn’t he like you?” Adam asks suddenly and he can notice a slight edge of anger in his tone. He probably thinks Dean is just playing with them. “It looks to me he doesn’t want to lose anything.”

“Adam, we already talked about this. Dean has some issues, he’s not…” he tries to explain but Adam cuts him off.

“How very convenient,” Adam blurts out and he attempts at protesting but the words die on his tongue. He understands Adam’s worry. Still, his friend’s words bite a little and he wonders if at some level they are right. Yes, Dean might like both of them, but he must like Luke better for otherwise he wouldn’t have picked him. He can’t shake the thought that suggests Dean picked Luke because he asked first, though.

They finish having breakfast and Aidan says goodbye to Adam who walks him out, and just as they are hugging in the front steps, there’s a noise that sounds very much like someone clearing their throat and they both startle at the sound and look for the source. There’s a huge bald guy standing behind Adam waiting for them to move out of his way, which is ridiculous for there’s enough space for the muscular bald to just walk past them. He looks questioningly at the man and Adam turns around to face him too. 

“Good morning,” the stranger says and he’s about to answer but Adam beats him to it.

“Good morning, Graham,” Adams says and the slight tremble in his voice tells him his friends is more than a little nervous. So this is the Graham Adam mentioned. He has to agree with his friend, the guy’s a hot piece of ass.

“It’s good to see you…uhm Adam, is it?” Adam only nods in response and a blush is spreading over his cheeks. “Have a nice day,” Graham says in a polite tone, and if he knew this man he’d say he looks slightly nervous too, and the way he’s looking at Adam is more than friendly. The tall man moves around them and walks down the steps. 

He turns to looks at Adam and his friend’s dreamy expression makes him burst out laughing. 

“You shouldn’t be so obvious, you were practically drooling,” he says once he’s made sure Graham is far in the distance.

“Shut up,” Adam says and continues to stare at the way Graham disappeared to, “like you weren’t drooling yourself when you met Dean, yeah I saw you.”

“That’s not even...” he tries but fails and ends up agreeing with Adam.

They part with another hug.

“Talk to him,” Adam yells as he walks away from Adam. 

His friend is right; he has to talk to Dean, that if he wants to continue seeing him as a friend, which he does, but he wonders how things will be now that he and Luke are couple. Will they spend more time together? Will he go and visit his kiwi friend only to find Luke already there? It’ll be a little bit too weird.

On the other hand, as Adam says, they might not last too long. Actually, is very possible that Luke will want his freedom back soon. Although, he doesn’t doubt Luke will find ways to step aside from his relationship status, or just stomp on it. He just hopes Dean’s strong enough to dump Luke if it comes to it, which is the most probable outcome. 

He gets home and Luke’s car is not there. _He must still be at Dean’s_ , he thinks morosely. 

He goes in and closes the door. It’s silent inside and his mind begins to bring unwanted memories from last night. He does his best to block them and turns the TV on. The news is on and he leaves them there trying to focus on them as he walks around the living room, making a poor attempt at tiding the mess. It’s not a big mess, but it somehow bothers him. It’s Luke’s mess. He tries to keep his messiness concentrated in his room only, out of respect for Luke, but Luke never does the same efforts as he, no; Luke doesn’t give a shit about anything or anybody. And now, his so called friend is using the feeling he’s got for Dean against him. 

He knows where the situation is inevitably leading to, but it hurts to admit it. His best friend since childhood was never really his friend, and the time has come for him to realize it and admit it, but most importantly, to do something about it. He needs to cut Luke out of his life, but that won’t be easy and he begins to question his motives.

The conversation they had outside the pub comes to his mind and he wonders if at some level, Luke regrets all this happening and in his fucked up mind, he really regrets their friendship being jeopardized by Dean’s coming into their lives and is trying to somehow, get back at Aidan. He did tell Luke Dean is worth endangering their friendship. Was that why Luke decide to solidify his relationship with Dean, to show a lesson to him? Was Luke really hurt by what he said that night?

He sighs for he’s been standing holding a used mug and plate in his hands for several minutes. He takes those to the kitchen and places them on the sink. He’ll leave that for Luke to wash.

He goes to his room to take his towel and heads for the bathroom. He really needs a shower.

Ten minutes later he’s ready to go; only he’s still hung-over and doesn’t have anywhere to go. His next job is in two days, so he just plumps down on the couch until it’s time for lunch.

\--------------------------------------------

Dean is standing in the kitchen, looking at his refrigerator for items for breakfast. He looks over his shoulder at the man carelessly switching channels on his TV. It bothers him to no end how inconsiderate Luke is being. He’s clearly sick, he’s coughed at least twenty times and blown his nose louder than he would on a normal day, trying to make his sorry state known to the brunette, but so far all he’s gotten from Luke is _I like my coffee black_.

Once he’s made a fairly decent breakfast, with scrambled eggs, jam and toasts and Luke’s coffee, he takes it to the living room and sets the tray on the table. He didn’t make enough for himself for he’s not sure he’ll be able to keep it down, and quite honesty, the last thing he needs right now is another comment on his weight.

“Wow, it smells great,” Luke says looking at the tray and takes a toast and puts some eggs in it. 

“You’re welcome,” he replies and tries to cover himself with the end of the blanket Luke is not using, but is barely enough to cover his lap. 

“So what are we doing the rest of the day?” Luke asks suddenly and he swallows thickly.

“Uhm…I was hoping to get some rest, I don’t feel very well…” he says and forces himself not to feel bad about Luke let his stupid self invite Luke to stay.

“We’ll I can stay here, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” Luke says in a dismissive tone and he looks away. Even though he wants Luke to go and he’s not even sure he wants to be in a relationship with him, the dismissive tone and words still hurt. 

“Well…uhm…to be honest, I’m still hung-over and all I want to do is sleep… and this is probably contagious, so you should probably go; I don’t want to get you sick,” he says while he wipes his nose with a tissue. It kind of surprises him how unfazed he says that. _So I have a backbone after all_.

Thankfully, his little speech works and Luke finishes his breakfast and leaves, only giving him a hug by the door as they say their goodbyes, probably not wanting to kiss him and catch his cold.

He closes the door and sighs. His head is pounding again and he doesn’t know if it is because of the hang-over or the cold. He remembers he hasn’t drunk any liquids besides alcohol, and he did throw up what water he drank, so it’s probably due to dehydration. 

He goes to the kitchen and forces himself to drink two glasses. He takes a third one to his room to place on the night stand. He contemplates the idea of taking a warm shower before getting into bed but he’s too tired and no one’s going to see him today anyway, so he slides into bed and covers himself completely with the bedcovers. 

He doesn’t want to think about his little number last night. How he got drunk once again and made a fool of himself. Aidan is never going to forgive him and he’s not sure he’ll be able to deal with Aidan being mad at him.

\--------------------------------------

He has just finished eating a sandwich when Luke comes back. The door opens and Luke appears. He closes it and turns around. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Luke speaks.

“Hey, why did you leave in such a hurry?” Luke asks in his unfazed tone. He knows Luke wants him to be mad and snap at him, but he’s not going to fall again in Luke’s games, so he matches Luke’s unbothered attitude.

“Just didn’t want to stay until you both got so drunk you had sex on the couch,” he replies, devoid of all emotion. 

“I thought that’s what you wanted, you know… with you fucking Dean,” Luke says and grins at him.

He feels his emotionless mask breaking a little and he turns around to leave his plate on the sink. He really wanted to have a serious and mature conversation with Luke, but apparently, that’s impossible.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“With me? Nothing, I was only doing you a favor, my friend. You should be thanking me” Luke says and smiles, like he’s proud of himself.  
He wants to punch him. 

“You know what? Yes, that is exactly what I wanted… what I want. I want to be the one to make love to Dean. I want to be the one who gets to kiss him, but not with you in the middle in some twisted drunken game,” he snaps at Luke and rounds the kitchen counter to stand right in front of the Welshman. Apparently, he’s about to throw out all he’s bottled up inside this past weeks.

“You didn’t seem much against it last night,” Luke throws back, defiance in his tone.

“No, of course not… I was drunk you asshole, and so was Dean,” he replies exasperatedly.

“Oh, so it’s my fault,” Luke says ironically.

“I didn’t say that, but you where the one to push us to it,” he says and points his finger at Luke, disgust clear in his voice. “How fucked up are you, that you would let your friend fuck your boyfriend?” he hisses and he tries to calm down a bit, running his hands through his hair before continuing. “You don’t even like Dean. You are only using him to get back at me,”

“What makes you think that? I’m only having fun,” Luke replies nonchalantly and takes a cigarette out from his pocket to light it.

“At your new boyfriend’s expense? At mine?” he asks and this seems to sink in a little in Luke’s thick brain for his smirk falters a little and he inhales deeply the smoke from his first drag. He scratches his eyebrow and seems to be thinking what to say. “You know what? I’m sick of you and your crap. I’m sick of you and they way you treat people, I’m sick of you assuming I’m as cold-hearted as you. I do give a shit about people, and I care about Dean a lot, and you know that, so quite using him to try and hurt me.” 

Luke doesn’t say anything; he just sits down on the couch smoking his cigarette. 

He takes his leave and starts walking towards his room, but just before walks down the hallway he turns around.

“I’m going to find somewhere else to live. I don’t want you in my life. I don’t even know why you were my friend in the first place,” he says and turns back to the hallway. Luke doesn’t even turn to acknowledge him. 

He goes inside his room and sits down on his bed. There’s a strange feeling in his gut, but he’s pretty much just ended years of friendship and he can’t help but feels a pang of emptiness and sadness. His phone vibrates just at that moment and he checks it. Adam has sent him a text.

 _Cheer up, Aid! I’m sure it’ll be ok. Love, Ads._ he smiles broadly, and he does feel a little cheered up. 

_How does he do that?_ He’s knows he should be more surprised at Adam’s almost psychic abilities, but he’s more than used to them. Adam sure has a sixth sense, he can always tell when he’s feeling down, even from a distance.

His phone vibrates again with a second text from Adam, _…and talk to him._

Yes, he probably should. As he knows, Dean doesn’t work today, so it’ll be the perfect opportunity. Besides, if he waits more time it’ll just be weirder. He can’t just pretend last night didn’t happen.

A few hours later, he decides it’s time to go to Dean’s. He hasn’t even heard any sound coming from the living room to give evidence Luke’s still there. He just hopes he’s not at Dean’s. This time he’ll double check for Luke’s car parked close by.

He steps outside, and to his relief, Luke’s car is in their drive way, and Luke’s too much of a lazy ass to just walk over to Dean’s so it’s very unlikely he’ll find him there.

He gets into his car and drives away. 

Ten minutes later he’s outside of Dean’s apartment and taking in a deep breath he starts climbing up the stairs. He knocks on the white door three times and presses his ear on the wood to hear any suspicious sound coming from within. There’s nothing, so he knocks again, this time louder and repeats his actions to try and hear if Dean’s not alone. A few seconds later he hears the sound of footsteps getting closer to the door. He straightens and runs his hand through his curls to smooth down the mess the wind left in them.  
The door opens and a very tired looking Dean greets him. A small, awkward smile forms on his lips. There are shadows under his eyes and he looks terribly pale, his nose is red and since he is holding a box of Kleenex in one hand and securing a blanket over his shoulder’s he’d say he’s come down with a bad cold.

“Dean, how are you? You look like shit,” he blurts out and Dean’s smile disappears abruptly. He wants to kick himself for bluntness. Poor Dean seems to be having a bad day already, and he surely doesn’t need for him telling him he looks bad. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean it to sound like that, you just…are you sick?” he asks in a worried tone, Dean smiles weakly.

Actually, Dean doesn’t look like shit at all, just tired, but beautiful all the same

“Uhm…yes…I have a cold,” Dean replies in raspy voice and moves to the side to let him in. His voice sounds stuffed and very nasal due to congestion apparently and he hides a smile, _of course his voice has to sound adorable when he’s congested_.

“Oh you poor thing,” he coos and reaches to touch Dean’s forehead with his hand. Dean allows him to touch him and he can feel a temperature on the warm skin.

“You should lie down, you’ve got a fever,” he says and guides Dean towards his room. Once inside, he helps Dean unto the bed and covers him with the blankets pulling the clothes up to his chin.

“Uhm…thank you,” Dean says in a tight voice and coughs a little, then takes a tissue from the night stand to wipe his nose with. He stands there, looking at the blond with an amused smile. He feels bad for the kiwi but he can’t pretend he doesn’t think Dean looks utterly cute. His cheeks are rosy, probably due to the slight fever, his golden curls are all messy and a tone darker as they look to be a little damp with sweat. His nose is a little red from all the blowing and his beard is growing, showing a light ginger tone to it. _Ginger beard… how awfully cute_!

It takes him a second to realize he’s never been into Dean’s bedroom, and he likes it. There’s not much to it, really, other that he can see this is Dean’s little hide away. There’s a little shelf by the foot of the bed, stacked with CDs and books, not many, but they all seem to have been read a lot of times. There’s a bunch of photos on one side of the wall; pictures of New Zealand, of his friends. He can spot Jared in many of them hugging Dean, and he can see batman being hug by Dean in some, and beautiful dream like landscapes behind them under sunny skies. This is the life the kiwi left behind, and he seems to have brought a small piece of it with him to look upon every day. On the other wall, there are two landscapes on canvas, and as he can recall Dean telling him he liked to paint, they must be made by him. 

“Did you paint those,” he asks as he studies them.

“Uhm, yeah,” the kiwi answers in a soft voice, apparently shy of his talent. How modest of him, but of course Dean is modest, for Dean doesn’t strike him as the type who’d brag about something they are good at.

“You are seriously good,” he says in amazement for Dean is really good, not that he knows much about art but he sure can appreciate something beautiful. 

“Thank you,” Dean says shyly and smiles sweetly. 

“How did you learn how to paint so well?”

“Oh, he…uhm…my dad…he’s a painter too, so…” Dean says in a raspy voice letting his voice drop at the end and he can feel him closing off. Surely his father is not a subject he wants to talk about, so he quickly changes it.

“So what can I get for you? Have you eaten yet?” he asks and starts collecting the used glass and cup Dean has on the nightstand.

“Oh no, don’t worry, please. I’m fine,” Dean is quick to answer and tries to take the items from his hands. He lightly swats the kiwi’s hands away.

“C’mon, Dean, do you really think I’ll listen to you? I’m going to take care of you whether you like it or not. I promised Jared,” he says matter-of-factly and Dean’s upset expression breaks with a smile. “I’ll go to the kitchen and…try and figure out how to make soup,” he says and turns towards the door.

“God, Aid. At least let me help you,” Dean says in an exasperated tone, seemingly scared for his life. He turns to look at him and sees he is standing up from the bed.

“Dean, stay in bed, you need to rest,” he says as he goes back to stand beside the bed, blocking the kiwi’s path. He tries to put on a stern face and Dean looks up at him.

“But, you said you can’t cook. let me at least help you.” Dean is really starting to sound desperate, it could be from fear of eating something made by him or he’s just simply not used to people doing stuff for him.

“I was kidding about the cooking; I’m actually having it delivered,” he says smiling sheepishly, “don’t want you to get sicker.”

“Oh…ok, I don’t have anything to cook soup with anyways,” Dean says and sniffs pitifully then grabs some more tissue to wipe his running nose. 

“Ok. Get back into bed,” he says sternly and Dean gives him the most adorable pout, but does as he’s told.

“Are you always this bossy?” he hears Dean ask as he leaves the room, he just answers with a laugh.

He makes tea to give something to Dean while they wait for the soup to arrive and on his case, Chinese. He orders for two in case Dean wants too, but he’ll have to have his soup first. 

They sit in comfortable silence in Dean’s bed for a few minutes, enjoying their tea. At least he can make tea. He waits for Dean to leave his mug on the nightstand and blow his nose for like the hundredth time before he speaks.

“Uhm, Dean?” he starts and clears his throat. They have to talk about what happened last night, even though it doesn’t seem to have affected their relationship, they still have to so they can get past it. “About what happened yesterday…”

\------------------------------------

 _Fuck, here it is_. He had been dreading this since the moment he saw Aidan on the door, he knows this is why Aidan came to visit him in the first place. Though he has to admit Aidan’s visit was a huge surprise, a very welcomed surprise for he’d had expected Aidan to be mad at him and not wanting to see him, but still, he’s wary to talk about last night; all he hopes now is for Aidan’s opinion of him not to be too low, thought he probably deserves it. He really screwed up this time. 

He stays quiet and lets Aidan talk, not daring to look him in the eye, so he fixes his stare on Aidan’s shirt.

“Look, I know it was some crazy night,” Aidan says and he looks up at him, meeting his eyes. There’s a soft smile on his lips and it somehow reassures him. “I’m so sorry Dean, I should never have let Luke talks us into it…and…I shouldn’t have drunk so much.” 

He stares at Aidan for a few seconds. Does Aidan blame himself? 

“Aidan…” he starts and takes a deep breath before continuing, disbelief tainting his voice. “I…what are you saying?” 

Aidan looks questioning back at him. “What do you mean? I’m apologizing for…”

“Well, don’t!” he cuts him off a tad too sharply. Aidan’s expression shows confusion and hurt, so he wants to kick himself. “Aidan…it wasn’t your fault. I’m the one who has to apologize…not you.”

Aidan looks a little relived at his words. “Dean…you did nothing wrong…I was…”

“Aidan, stop it! Don’t apologize to me…I screwed up… I got drunk and fucked up again.” He feels his eyes stinging a little and he fears he’ll end up crying in front of the brunette one again. _You are so pathetic,_.

“Dean, would you stop? Stop beating yourself so hard, yeah, it was stupid what we did, but it was only a drunken mistake,” Aidan says in a reassuring voice, but all it does is making him feel even worse. 

How many times has Aidan reassured him that way? How many times has he fucked up with them already?

He feels his eyes starting to water and he looks down at his lap, trying to hide his tears form the Irishman. His nose feels extra stuffed and he grabs some more tissues. Aidan seems to have caught sight of his tears for he sits closer and starts to rub his shoulders.

“Hey, hey, don’t feel bad, please,” Aidan says and starts tries to meet his gaze, and when he doesn’t comply, he feels Aidan’s hand under his chin, lifting his face to meet his eyes. “You did nothing wrong…you can’t do nothing wrong.” Aidan’s words slap him in the face. There’s nothing but sweetness and care and…love? in Aidan’s eyes and he wants to throw up. _Aidan is so mistaken_.

He moves away from Aidan abruptly and stands up. 

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Aidan asks as he turns around and stands up too. There’s a frown on his face and he feels a pang of regret at having caused it.

“You…are wrong,” he says slowly as he turns to face Aidan and looks directly at him. He needs to make him understand there’s a world of wrong with him. 

“What are you talking about?” Aidan’s confusion seems to be increasing and he reaches with his hand to place on his shoulder but he gives a step back. Aidan stands there with his arm held out, hurt written clearly on his face. 

_Now you’ve hurt him, you pathetic little bastard_! His mental voice is starting to sound a lot like his ex. He shivers at that. Apparently, he was right all along.

Aidan slowly lets his arm fall and places both hands on his jean’s pockets. He looks so lost and sad all he wants is to hug him and comfort him. But Aidan needs to understand.

“Look, Aidan, I don’t know what image you have of me…but it’s wrong,” he says with a trembling voice and Aidan gives a step towards him and seems to want to say something but he stops him. “I’m fucked up…I…there’s nothing in me. I’ve got nothing to offer…to you, to anyone…my…my ex…he was right…it was my fault we…I couldn’t live up to his expectations. I just…I’m not… good enough.” He’s almost hyperventilating as he says those things and when he looks at Aidan, the Irishman seems to be having trouble understanding and taking in all he’s saying, he feels like an idiot. He can’t even express himself correctly. He wipes the tears from his face angrily before continuing. “I’m not good for you, Aidan…I’m not…Luke…I…I agreed to be his boyfriend…and I cheated on him…with you…his friend…and now I’m just…I’m not…” he stops himself from what he’s going to say. It’ll do no good to tell Luke’s friend he’s not sure whether he wants to be his boyfriend or not yet. That’s something he has to talk with Luke. 

He stands there sniffing. He really needs to blow his nose, and his head is throbbing. There’s a knock on the door and Aidan walks past him to answer it. It’s their food apparently and when the smell reaches his nose his stomach grumbles. He has eaten nothing all day and his stomach is begging for food. 

He hears Aidan fumbling in the kitchen and living room. A couple of minutes later his steps come closer and he turns around towards the door to look at him.

“Food’s here and I don’t know about you but I’m starving, besides, you have to drink that soup while it’s hot so…” Aidan says and motions for him to come with him to the living room. 

They sit side by side on the couch and Aidan hands him the blanket and helps him cover himself with it. 

Aidan has set the food on the table and placed his soup on a mug so it’s easier for him to drink it and he can stay covered with the blanket. He takes the offered mug and mumbles a thank you. He starts revising what he said just moments ago in his mind. Nothing makes much sense now that he thinks about it, though he hopes it made some sense in Aidan’s mind.

Aidan has started eating his food and he takes a sip of soup. It’s delicious and warm and really comforting, exactly what he needs right now.

They finish their food in silence. Thankfully, Aidan has turned on the TV and it soothes down the awkwardness a little, but his mind is riling back and forth over his poor attempt at explaining Aidan why he’s not good to be around and what the Irishman’s thoughts are right now, though by the looks of it, he seems to be really concentrated in the cartoons on the TV. He’s even laughing here and there.

_He likes watching cartoons…how cute is that?_

He realizes suddenly, he has been staring at Aidan the whole time, smiling even, when Aidan turns to look at him and smiles back with that irresistible little smirk and sideways glance. He’s quick to look away and he can feel his cheeks burning. _Of course he had to see me_. 

Aidan shifts a little beside him and the TV is turned off and Aidan is now sitting sideways, facing him.

“Well, now that we have both eaten and you have calmed down a little bit… and you don’t seem about to start squealing any time soon,” Aidan jokes and smirks at him. He’s about to protest but only gets to pout when Aidan continues, “we can continue our discussion.”

\-----------------------------------------

He tries to make what happened last night sound as unimportant and light as he can so Dean can start relaxing about the matter, and now that he’s saying it, it does seem less terrible; just a simple drunken mistake. 

He can understand why Dean is blaming himself, he thinks he somehow cheated on Luke with him, which technically is true, but Dean seems to be ignoring the most important factor; Luke wanted it to happen and shamelessly instigated it. But one thing he’ll never understand is how someone like Dean, so sweet and cute and perfect and caring, could ever think so little of themselves. 

Dean cute pout smoothes out and he now looks like he’s thinking hard on what to say next.

“Aidan…I…keep fucking things up…and I don’t want you to blame yourself over this… It was my fault…I kissed you first, I…,” Dean says and stops with a sigh.

“No, Dean. It’s not your fault. We both were there, we both got drunk, and I made no motion to try and stop you, so ok, it’s both our faults, but just yours? No way,” he says and smiles reassuringly at the blond, then jokes, “maybe we should blame all this on Luke; he took advantage of our drunkenness and forced us to perform for him.”  
Dean smiles sweetly at him and seems a little relived, probably because he’s placed the blame on both of them, although secretly, he still doesn’t think Dean is to blame at all.

“I just…feel so guilty ‘cause…I wanted to kiss you…really bad…and If Luke hadn’t been there…I would have probably kissed you anyway,” Dean says shyly and refuses to look him in the eye.

He’s has to admit he’s kind of shocked by Dean’s blunt honesty and a warm feeling spreads through his stomach. Dean wants him, and he’s downright admitting it to him.  
It’s kind of ironic the fact that he’s met potentially the love of his life, who seems to be interested in him too, but has recently become boyfriends with his best friend, well, more like ex-friend.

For the first time in his life he is speechless, except maybe when he first met Dean. 

“Aw…fuck! I’m sorry. Please forget I said that…I shouldn’t have said that,” Dean says on the verge of a new hysteria crisis, covering his face with his hands; a very common gesture of his, he notices.

“No, Dean, don’t be sorry…,” he says and lays a comforting hand on the blonds’ slight shoulder. Dean continues to self-loath hiding behind his hands. He sits closer to him and circles an arm around the blond. “Dean…”

Dean looks back at him, eyes searching as their eyes meet. The moment is perfect to pour his feelings for the blond right there, just like he has pictured over and over in his head, but what comes out, is nothing like he planned.

“Ugh…why? Why did you agree to be his boyfriend?” the words blurt out and he’s unable to stop them once they start. He has grabbed unto Dean’s arms and made the blond face him. “Do you even love Luke?”

Dean looks like a caged animal and he feels bad for pressuring the blond. But he needs to know, he needs to know whether Dean really wants to be with Luke or he was just unable to deny him. He knows how persuasive Luke can be. 

“I…” Dean says and hesitates. He looks really nervous so he lets go of Dean’s arms. “I’m not trying to hurt him…I care about him.”

“But, do you really want to be with him?”


	14. Chapter fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, so sorry for the delay but I had visits for a week and when I finally had time to write, I found myself in a writers block.  
> Hope you enjoy and the the wait was worth it.
> 
> also...sorry for any mistakes...I really need to take more time to revise this thing!

He feels he’s about to faint. Aidan’s got him caged and the last thing he wants to do is tell him he doesn’t really want to be with Luke. Aidan is Luke’s friend, how could he ever tell him that? 

“I’m sorry Aidan…I think you should go,” he says as he stands up from the couch, letting the blanket fall to the floor. He regrets it instantly for Aidan’s hurt expression is more than he can take, but the Irishman left him no choice. What was he supposed to tell him? That no, he’s not sure he even likes Luke? That he agreed to be his boyfriend just because he couldn’t think of the right words to decline the offer? Or because he was too busy enjoying the sensations the other man’s mouth brought to his neck?

He takes some of the empty boxes to the kitchen and places them on the counter. Aidan stands up too and walks towards him. He looks intently at him and he has to look away, ashamed of himself.

“A little advice,” Aidan says in a strained voice and he meets his eyes again. “Don’t be with Luke just because you are afraid of telling him how you truly feel.” 

And with that, Aidan turns around and leaves the apartment. The door closes with a thud and the sharp sound sends shivers down his spine. He feels his legs have gotten weak and his heart rate accelerated. Aidan can see right through him. 

He knows he should be able to be honest with him, his friend, but he’s too afraid of what might happen if he is. He can’t even be honest with himself.

He has the urgent need for a shower and he goes to the bathroom. He scrubs thoroughly, somehow thinking that it might take away the ugly feeling of lying to Aidan. Although technically, he didn’t, that’s why he asked him to leave, because he would have been forced to do so and that’s the last thing he wants.

He dries his hair as best he can with the towel and slips into bed with fresh sheets and a fresh pajama. He feels better already, but one small thought about the whole mess he’s gotten himself in sends him spiraling into self loath.

He needs to talk to Jared, he needs his friend. 

Opening his laptop he goes on Skype. He has sent a text to Jared earlier so he’s now just waiting for his friend to go online.

He presses video call when Jared appears and waits for the conversation to establish. 

“Hello, Dean!” Jared happily greets him, waving his hand excitedly. The sun shines brightly behind his friend through the window and he feels miserably cold. God, he misses Auckland warmth.

“Hey, Jared, how are you?” he greets back, trying to match his friend’s cheerful tone and hide his distress.

“I’m great, and…are you sick? You don’t look so good,” Jared asks and drinks from a mug that appears to contain coffee.

“Yeah, I got a cold,” he replies and has to blow his running nose again, “I’m fine though.”

“Aw, you poor Deannie…and no one is taking care of you? What about Aidan?” Jared asks lifting his eyebrows teasingly.

Dean pales a little at Aidan’s mention and looks down at his lap. “Uhm…he just left actually,” he says trying to o hide the weariness in his voice.

“Oh? Good for you, Dean!” Jared exclaims excitedly, “he sure seems like an awesome guy, and not to mention he’s extremely handsome.”

“Jared…we are just friends,” he says hesitant. Maybe they are not even friends anymore.

“Oh, don’t tell me there’s nothing more to your relationship. I saw how he looked at you. He clearly cares for you more than you give him credit for,” Jared says matter-of-factly and he feels butterflies in his stomach.

He relishes at the thought that his friend might be right, but one thought in the wrong direction sends him down his usual pessimism. He’s lied to Aidan, and nobody likes a liar, or someone who doesn’t even know what he wants. 

He sends a sad look towards the small hallway and sighs.

“Something wrong?” Jared asks frowning as he notices when he looks back at the screen. Of course Jared would pick up right away if something was amiss with him. It’ll be pointless to try and deny it, Jared knows him too well.

“Uhm…maybe?” he reluctantly replies, trying to delay having to tell his friend about the mess he’s gotten himself into due to his stupidity.

Jared’s expression shows his concern for him and he feels a strong pang of angst sipping through him at being half world away from him. He’d love to be able to hug his friend and be comforted by him right now.

“Dean, tell me already…or am I going to have to pry it out of you,” Jared presses as he takes a few moments to answer. He sighs again and takes a deep breath before speaking.

“I kind of…got myself into…,” he starts but pauses. He needs to make sure his friend will never turn his back on him after he’s told everything. “Promise me you won’t be mad.”  
Jared squints as he frowns as he looks at the screen.

“What did you…what happened?” Jared asks warily, pausing for better choosing of words apparently. He knows Jared meant to ask him _What did you do_? and he feels relieved at his friends careful way of addressing complicated matters for he’s not very good at answering blunt questions. “And of course I won’t get mad at you, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Well…you know…Luke?” he begins and Jared nods. He has erased the frown on his face and replaced it with a serene expression, making him feel better and more relaxed.

“Aidan’s friend…the guy you spent the night with, right?” he nods in response.

“I…spent the night with him…a couple more times…apparently,” he says looking down at his hands to avoid looking at the screen; a blush of embarrassment creeping over his face already, more evident against the paleness caused by his cold.

A hum is the only answer he gets and he has to look up to see what Jared’s expression is at what he’s just confessed to him. This feels oddly like’s he’s confessing his wrong doings to his parents as a teenager. Jared’s face has split into a smirk and he seems to be about to burst out a celebration for his scoring. He’s quick to change that thought though.

“I’m not happy about it,” he says and Jared’s expression changes from bordering on excitement, to confusion. 

“Why not? Don’t you like him?” Jared asks and realization seems to dawn on him for he says, “Ah…he’s not the one you like but his friend, am I right?”

Out Jared’s mouth, it doesn’t seem as terrible as on his head. Things like this happen all the time to a lot of people, but then again, most people don’t agree to a relationship with the person they don’t like.

“What am I going to do?” he asks his friend, a hint of desperation on his tone.

“What do you mean? There’s only one thing you can do and that is to be with the one you like, and since that’s Aidan, I’d say he’ll meet you halfway,” Jared says and it sounds so simple, but he still hasn’t told Jared about the other thing and there’s the very plausible possibility of Aidan not liking him at all. Besides, he’s already lucky enough to have him as a friend; he can’t possibly as for more.

“There’s a slight problem though,” he says and sniffs for his stuffed nose is making his voice sound too clogged. He takes some more tissues and blows his nose again.

“Ok…what is that slight problem?” Jared asks and takes the last sip of his coffee, then leaves the cup down and crosses his arms in front of him, supporting his elbows on the desk, giving him his full attention. He snakes an arm out of the tangle to fix his hipster glasses and folds it back with the other. He really likes those glasses on Jared.

“Dean?” Jared says and snaps him out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, yeah…sorry,” he says and runs a hands through his messy, damp hair. “Well…the thing is…the other day… Luke asked me to be his boyfriend…and I kind of said…yes.”

Jared stays silent for a few seconds before speaking. “But you’ve been going out with him for so little…were you conscious when you said yes?”

He feels a little hurt by Jared’s question, but he’s in every right to doubt. Just moments later he lost himself in alcohol, so it’s just a matter of time.

“I wasn’t drunk at the moment…I just…didn’t know how to say no,” he says and as he hears himself, he realizes how ridiculous this sounds.

“Well…you just had to say no,” Jared says as simple as it is, but the thing is, it’s not that simple, not for him at least.

“Yes, but…it wasn’t so simple at that moment…to say no,” he says and looks ashamed at Jared as realization seems to dawn on him again.

“He asked you during sex?” Jared asks in a surprised tone. Well, he didn’t get it quite right this time, but close enough.

“No!” he says exasperated, “we were just making out…but still, how was I gonna say no while he kissed my neck? Wouldn’t that be a little bit awkward?”

“Oh, but you prefer to stay in a relationship with a man you don’t want to be with just because it would have been a bit awkward?” Jared asks, also getting a little bit exasperated. He has a point, though.

He moans in frustration and covers his face with his hands.

“Ugh, Jared…I need you to help me run my life, I can’t do it on my own…” he says half joking, because at some level, he knows he needs Jared.

“God, Dean…I know you are joking, but I would like to be there to help you too, and maybe slap some sense into you,” Jared jokes and smiles sweetly at him making him feel comforted somehow, then, Jared’s tone becomes more serious. “Dean, you need to tell him the truth and end this nonsense, it’s not fair to you or him.”

“I know,” he sighs.

“And what about Aidan? Do you like him?” Jared asks suddenly and he feels his face blushing. He can’t hide the small smile that forms on his lips. “Oh you do, don’t you?” Jared teases with a huge happy smile.

“Well…does it matter? I can’t be with him,” he argues and Jared’s smile disappears. “I’m sort of dating his best friend…I don’t want to be that guy.” 

“Oh, Dean, you can’t be serious,” Jared says frustration clear in his voice, “these things happen all the time, even if you met Luke first, it doesn’t mean you can’t be with Aidan if you like him better. Luke would just have to understand.”

“It’s too complicated…I even met the rest of their friends and they’ve seen me with Luke on more than one occasion. It’ll be too weird and I don’t want them to think I’m some sort of…” 

“Don’t even say it, Dean” Jared stops him midway like he always does when he’s about to put himself down.

“Sorry…but, what am I going to do?” he moans and Jared sighs.

“Well, you have to talk to Luke and tell him the truth, soon,” Jared says in a stern tone like he always does when he’s giving him advice, “then you can see what happen with Aidan, if he likes you like I assume. Do you think he likes you?”

It downs on Dean that he hasn’t told Jared anything about their kisses and he realizes how little they’ve talked this past weeks.

“Uhm, I need to tell you something, Jared,” he says and Jared’s expression shows instant concern.

“What is it?”

“Well…Aidan and I kissed… in two occasions,” he says softly and Jared’s face splits into a grin.

“Oh, you little love birds! I knew he liked you,” Jared exclaims excitedly but then he frowns. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” 

“I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner,” he says guiltily but Jared brushes him off.

“Ok, I’m not mad, but you have to tell me everything.”

He tells Jared about both their kisses, the drunken one and the sober one, and how Aidan told him he can’t do this unless he ends things with Luke, but that he really wants to. He leaves out, though, the little drunken incident from last night. If he tells Jared about it, he knows his friend is capable of getting the first flight here and confront Luke about it, and maybe Aidan too. No, he doesn’t want Jared to think badly of Aidan. He knows it’s his own entire fault for getting drunk again, but it would be impossible to make Jared believe that.

“Wow, he really has it hard for you,” Jared contemplates and smiles. “Now you have to end things with Luke as soon as possible. Aidan’s probably waiting for you to do just that so he can make his move.”

“It’s not that easy, Jared. You know it’s hard for me to be blunt about things,” he stubbornly says. 

He knows he’s being childish, but it’s really not easy at all for him to just say what he wants to say and not care about the consequences. He’s just not like that and he’s always worried about what people are going to think about him.

“Well, you are going to have to, and don’t complain again,” Jared says and cuts him in as he’s about to protest. 

“Ok,” he says nodding and Jared seems satisfied.

“Ok. Dean, I have to go out now, we’ll talk in the night…or later,” Jared says and starts waving at him.

“Bye, Jared. Thank you and have a nice day,” he waves back and smiles at his friend. 

The image blackens and he’s left to his thoughts. 

Jared is a hundred percent right, but he’s not very sure he’ll be able to end things with Luke just like that; maybe if he waits a few days without talking to him and then just sends him a text explaining everything. 

_I’m such a coward_!

\-------------------------

Aidan enters his home and goes straight to his bedroom. He doesn’t run into Luke, thankfully. 

Throwing himself heavily on his bed, making it creak, he starts thinking about Dean, who is really starting to get on his nerves. _How is he so stubborn_? He really had to prevent himself from grabbing those small shoulders and shaking Dean right there in the kitchen, for the kiwi needs some sense forced into his pretty head. He laughs out loud at the mental image.

It’s crystal clear how Dean is not convinced about his new boyfriend, and yet, he denies it. Well, he didn’t exactly deny it, but he’s pretty sure he would have had he not been asked to leave. Dean should know better than that, he’s got the kiwi mostly figured out and he understands -at some level at least- why Dean acts that way, and why he has trouble speaking his mind. But any right minded person would decline an unwanted offer, right?...unless it wasn’t unwanted.

Sighing, he takes his phone to text Adam. He manages to write ‘hey’ but can’t think of anything else to write, and quite frankly, he hasn’t got the energy for it and all he can think about is in that dumb kiwi, anyway, so he leaves his phone back on his nightstand. 

He still can’t grasp the idea that Luke and Dean are boyfriends. A while ago, he would have sworn he would die before meeting Luke’s first boyfriend, but here he is, strongly and quickly falling head over hills in love with him. _How tragic._

The worst part of it all is that he knows Luke will end up hurting Dean and even though he has warned the kiwi, there’s nothing much he can do about it, but let things fall into their place and hope later to be able to comfort him. For now, he’ll just back away and let things happen.

\--------------------------

Dean goes to work feeling like shit the next day, but miraculously, he survives. At least he was able to leave earlier than usual. 

Once home, he gets a text from Luke telling him he’s coming over and he sighs. He’s exhausted and still sick and the last thing he wants right now is to deal with Luke. He knows he shouldn’t think of his ‘boyfriend’ like that but he can’t help it. 

On the other hand, tonight should be perfect opportunity to be honest with Luke and he thinks about what words to say and how to approach the subject, and practices even, while he tidies and cleans his apartment, but when there’s a knock on the door and Luke stands looking at him as if he wants to devour him, all words just fall off his head and they end up having sex again; sober sex, thankfully. 

When he wakes up, Luke is still there, sleeping soundly and he feels guilty. He’s going to tell this man he doesn’t want to be with him and he has no idea how. He hates to make people feel bad and Luke seems to really like him. God, he wishes Jared could be here.

He feels kind of uncomfortable being in bed with Luke, so he gets up and heads for the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When he’s finished, dried and dressed, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, so he stands awkwardly by the door of his bedroom, watching Luke sleeping, and just a couple of minutes later, as if feeling eyes on him, Luke wakes up. He rolls to the side and the sheets covering him fall to the side and he’s completely bare for him to see. He furiously blushes and looks away.

“Uhm…Luke…I can see your…,” he says awkwardly and shyly, only causing Luke to smile devilishly at him.

“You like what you see?” Luke asks seductively. It’s like he never drops the act of seductive superficial hunk, and he’s starting to believe that’s all there is to Luke.

“I…uhm …you should cover it,” he states and Luke only laughs at him.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like it now…I’ve seen you beg for ‘this’ to fill you,” Luke says salaciously and starts to rub up and down his now half hard erection. He doesn’t know why he continues to stand there, stealing glances at ‘it’ form time to time, feeling rooted to the spot and Luke takes this opportunity to motion for him to come closer, which he does, taking small, shy steps towards his bed.

“Come have a taste; you know you want it,” Luke says invitingly and he feels a shudder run down his back.

_Do I want it?_

“Put that pretty mouth of yours to good use,” Luke insists and he can’t move an inch. This is the moment to tell Luke, this is it. “Don’t be shy. Perhaps you need some help.”

Luke gets up from the bed, completely naked and he closes his eyes before the other man reaches him. Two hands grab onto his waist, pulling him flush against a strong chest. Lips reach his own and he parts his lips to let a tongue in. His own hands start exploring the muscled body in front of him, starting up over two strong arms and then over a strong, muscled chest. He leaves his hands to rest there for now as their kiss deepens and their tongues explore each other hungrily.

Luke stops kissing him on the lips and starts kissing him down his neck, till he reaches the collarbone.

He’s letting go off all his doubts, until he feels Luke’s hand on his head starting to put pressure to make him go down and kneel on the floor. 

He doesn’t want to, he really doesn’t, but stupid as he is, he complies anyway and kneels in front of that thick cock. It continues to amaze him how it fits inside him.

The hand on top of his head has diminished the pressure and it just sits there, petting him as if to encourage him to take that dick in his mouth. He really hates this. This is one of the things he’s never understood about sex, but his ex boyfriend never gave him much choice on the matter, only causing him to hate it even more now he thinks about it. 

He freezes for a few seconds and he hears Luke give a frustrated sigh, just before his head is pushed forward by a hand gripping it from behind. He moves away quickly on reflex and ends up falling sideways unto the floor. 

“What the fuck is the matter?” Luke asks in annoyance. He stands up slowly and faces down, unwilling to look Luke in the eye.

“I don’t want this…ok?” he says in a slightly shaky voice, but at least he doesn’t stutter.

“Oh, c’mon, just relax a little bit…I’m sure you like it,” Luke tries to convince him and he snaps.

“No! I’m not going to relax, and I certainly don’t fucking like it!” he yells, although to his own ears it sounds more like squealing. _Aidan’s right_ , he thinks and almost laughs at the thought.

He stands there with his hands fisted and staring at Luke straight in the eye now. He can see a shadow cross through Luke’s expression, a dangerous warning it seems as he looks back at him and he feels he’s being challenged. This man is probably unused to be told _no_ , and inexplicably, this thought gives him strength, so he stands his ground.

A few seconds pass of staring and he almost feels his resolve crumbling, but thankfully, Luke backs down.

“Alright… No problem, just calm down, ok?” Luke says with his hands hold up in a calming gesture, and it works, so he breathes deeply and wills himself to relax. For a few seconds he felt like a trapped animal, unsure of Luke’s intentions and it hits him right then, that Luke is just a stranger to him… and they’re supposed to be boyfriends.  
Luke walks towards the bed and collects his clothing from the floor and starts dressing. They don’t speak a word as he stands there, looking at the other man silently redressing and he feels a bit of regret. 

_Maybe I overacted…_ , he thinks and sighs.

When Luke is fully dressed and ready, he walks towards him and for a second he tenses but instantly relaxes when he just walks past him. He turns around and follows him towards the living room, where he’s collecting his jacket and phone.

“You don’t have to go yet, I can…I can make you breakfast,” he says in a soft voice as guilt eats at him. Luke looks really sad form where he’s standing.

“Nah…don’t trouble yourself,” Luke says in an almost sweet tone as he puts on his jacket and he feels even more regret than before. “You clearly don’t want me here right now and I don’t want to impose myself on you.”

“No…I…” he tries to say something but nothing coherent comes out. Luke smiles softly and walks up to him. A soft kiss is placed on his brow and just that. The brunette turns around and walks towards the door, opening it. 

“Take care,” Luke says smiling, giving him one last glance and leaves the apartment.

He stands there several minutes more, processing what just happened. He acted like a real prick towards poor Luke who only wanted a blowjob. He practically acted like he was being forced when he was only being encouraged a bit. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?

 _You are an idiot, Dean O’Gorman_ ,” he chastises himself and rubs his face in frustration. 

Slowly, and dragging his slipper clad feet, he goes to his bedroom and sits down on the bed. He looks at his phone and decides to send Luke a text. 

_I had a great time, call me… and take care yourself_

He really feels bad. Somehow, he related Luke’s little push with his ex boyfriend’s harsh treatment when he wanted head, something he just hated doing but always ended up complying to. It’s not Luke’s fault and he should be able to recognize the difference.

He goes to work that afternoon and at eight, he’s free to go. He’s exhausted, but at least he feels better from the cold and Orlando was there to help him and ease the stress from the day. 

He checked his phone at least a hundred times during the evening but there was no answer from Luke.

It’s nine thirty and he sits fidgeting on his couch, looking at his phone on the table. 

Should he call him? Make sure he’s ok? But what if he’s mad and doesn’t want to talk to him?

He continues like this till he goes to bed, taking his phone with him and leaving it on the nightstand and as he covers his body almost completely with the blankets, his phone vibrates.

In a second he is on his phone and the bed covers are thrown back violently. He checks his inbox and with slight disappointment he notices it’s not Luke, but Jared.

_Gone to bed already? You didn’t get online yesterday night so I got worried…everything ok? Did you talk to Luke?_

He feels even worse now. Not only did he not talk to Luke and told him the truth, but he was horrible to him too and now, the brunettes’ probably angry at him…or sad.

 _No, I haven’t. I need some more time, but I will, I promise. Thanks for worrying so much. Hugs and kisses. I’m about to fall asleep, so...have a great day. Hug Ben and Batman for me_.

He replies and pulls the covers back on himself as he lies down, leaving his phone on his pillow.

 _Ok, don’t wait too long, though. I’ll hug them for you. Good night, sleep tight_.

He smiles and closes his eyes.

When he wakes up the next day, there’s still no answer from Luke as he checks his phone and he starts to panic. He starts to type quickly on his phone an excuse at his overreaction.

 _Luke? How are you? I’m really sorry about yesterday, I just overreacted, I know I shouldn’t have. Please, don’t be mad_ , he types and is very aware of how pathetic and needy he sounds but he feels extremely guilty to ponder too much on the matter.

There’s no answer.

He takes a shower, brushes his teeth, and eats some breakfast…and still no answer.

Grabbing his phone with a sigh, he writes another text:

 _I’ll be home tonight if you want to come by. I’ll be waiting_.

He’s gets more and more pathetic with each text. He really hopes Luke comes tonight or he’ll end up begging shamelessly.

It’s another day of serving coffee, checking his phone, dealing with annoying customers and checking his phone again. He’s starting to become so obsessed with the damn thing that even Orlando had to snap at him to concentrate on the coffee he is making.

When he gets home, it about eight and he takes a quick shower in case Luke decides to come. He has bought a bottle of vodka even, to ease the mood.

 _I don’t even know what I’m doing_ , he sighs as he dresses, he puts on a bit more effort, though he doesn’t really have nice clothes, at least he’ll wear a striped sweater instead of his green hoodie. 

Once he’s dressed and shaved, smelling freshly of aftershave, he inspects his reflection in the mirror.

“What are you doing?” he asks himself and lowers his gaze in shame. He’s doing exactly the opposite of what he’s supposed to do.

He feels confused and lost, and he misses Aidan, a lot. He hasn’t seen him since Tuesday and he doesn’t even have his number to send him a text to ask him how he is or anything. 

Shit…he promised Aidan dinner on Friday…but he doesn’t even know if Aidan wants to see him now. 

It’s almost ten and no sign of Luke.

He’s about to give up, when his phone vibrates with a text. It’s Luke, telling him he’s downstairs waiting for him in his car. He thinks about it for a second, whether he should go or just invite Luke here instead, but the first wins over and he puts on his jacket. He considers bringing the bottle with him but decides against it. Nothing good will come of him becoming drunk.

The car is parked just by the door of the building and when Luke spots him, he’s greeted by a wide grin which makes him feel quite relieved.

Luke motions for him to sit on the passenger’s seat and he rounds the car and opens the door to sit down.

“Hey, Luke,” he greets nervously and Luke’ who’s smoking a cigarette, sends him a sideways smile and a wink. They drive away and Dean has no idea where to but he frankly doesn’t care, as long as Luke forgives him.

They drive towards a liquor store were Luke gets off the car to go buy something that turn out to be more cigarettes and a bottle of sorts. They drive off in silence and Luke lights another cigarette. He starts to get really uncomfortable with the silence and he starts wondering whether or not Luke forgave him. Maybe he’s still pissed and plans on teaching him a lesson?

 _Stop being such a drama queen_! He tells himself and stares out the window for comfort. The houses seem very familiar now and with dread he realizes they’re in Luke’s neighborhood; Aidan’s neighborhood.

_Fuck._

“Here we are,” Luke says simply, like this was their destination all along and he was aware of it. He should have known, probably.

He doesn’t want to get off the car but Luke’s already walking up the steps towards the white door, so he forces himself to open the door of the car and gets out with a defeated sigh and walks the short distance towards the door with reluctance.

The door opens as Luke turns the key and he closes his eyes, not wanting to see Aidan sitting in the couch. Luckily, he’s not there and as he walks inside he notices all the lights are out, except the one on the entry.

Luke lights the light in the living room and closes the door behind them. He can only stand there, rooted to the spot, not wanting to make a sound. Luke fumbles around in the kitchen, looking for something that turn out to be two glasses with ice.

“Come,” is the only invite he gets as Luke starts walking towards his room down the hallway. 

_So we are just going to fuck…great_ , he thinks morosely and sets to follow Luke making as little noise as possible.

Once inside Luke’s bedroom, he stands there unsure of what to do. He still has his jacket on and his hands in his pockets, while Luke serves two glasses with whiskey. A glass is presented in front of him and he takes it.

“Thank you,” he says softly and takes a small sip. Luke has sat on the bed and he continues to stand by the door, inspecting the room as if he’s seeing it for the first time.

“Are you just going to stand there? Come here…and lose the jacket,” Luke says in a soft but no less demanding tone and he nods. He leaves the glass on the drawer next to him and proceeds to take off his jacket. He leaves it neatly over a chair in the corner and then stays there standing again.

“Come,” Luke repeat his offer and pats the spot beside him and he takes his glass from the drawer and follows through.

He sits awkwardly, sipping from his glass and looking ahead when he feels Luke’s hand circle his waist and bring him closer. A tingling feeling on his neck from Luke’s breathing sends a shiver down his body, a pleasure one. He drinks the whiskey form his glass in three big gulps and sets the glass on the floor by the bed.

He has decided that _fuck it_ , being Luke’s boyfriend can’t be that bad. He likes him in general, except for some little details that they can easily discuss and amend, and maybe work a little in their communication, but still, they can be boyfriends, for as long as it may last, and if it doesn’t, at least he’ll still have Aidan as a friend. 

Maybe being in a romantic relationship with the Irishman will only be a mistake anyway, and afterwards, he could lose him forever. No, it’s not worth risking his new friendship with such a great guy like Aidan. If they are just friends, he can have him in his life forever. He’d rather have a long term friendship, than a short romantic relationship with that great man.

He launches himself at Luke who falls backwards against the pillows, laughing, him falling flush over the brunettes’ body.

“Wow, someone’s eager tonight,” Luke teases and he giggles, then places a soft kiss on the other man’s lips.

“I want you,” he blurts out a bit shyly and kisses Luke again, more passionately this time, tasting the liquor on the other’s mouth.

They kiss for a few minutes and he feels Luke’s hands roaming over all the expense of his back, and grabbing the skin on his waist forcefully increasing the friction of their growing erections.

He stops kissing Luke and sits up, straddling the other man’s lap, rubbing his bottom wantonly over the now fully hard erection. The friction brings forth a gasp out of the brunette’s mouth under him, and he feels in control of the situation for once. He likes it.

He starts kissing Luke again, going down to his neck, and Luke puts his arms behind his head. He has a satisfied grin on his face as he lets him do all the work.

He knows what’s expected of him right now, and come to think of it, he wants to do it. He wants to bring his boyfriend pleasure, so he’ll try and do his best.  
His hands find the hem of Luke’s shirt and he brings it up a little bit, exposing tight and lean six pack. 

“This is a side of you I didn’t know about….I really like it,” Luke says in an encouraging tone and makes himself more comfortable, placing the pillows well under him, then, he reaches his jacket and from one of the pockets, he takes out a cigarette and lights it. Taking a lazy drag, he places his free arm behind his head again. “Go on.”

He realizes he’s been staring and blushes a little. Luke is very sensual and manly and mysterious in away. He feels very aroused by him. Maybe there’s a side of Luke he doesn’t know about either.

“Ok,” he says in a tight voice and smiles shyly. He moves further down Luke’s lap and ends up on all fours, leaning forward to place light kisses on the flat abdomen under him. With both hands, he unbuttons Luke’s jeans and pulls down the zip slowly. He steals a glance up to Luke and he’s been observed with great interest.

“No pressure,” Luke says reassuringly but it makes him feel pressured anyway.

A sound coming from the living room startles him and he knows Aidan has arrived. He sits ups nervously and looks at Luke with a worried expression.

“That’s Aidan…you want me to bring him so he can join us?” Luke teases, but there’s a slight tinge of annoyance in the tone, he thinks.

“No,” he says desperately and shakes his head in denial, panicking a little. 

What if Luke actually did that? What would Aidan think of him being here about to give Luke head?

“Just ignore him and continue what you were doing,” Luke insists and hands him his own glass, still half full. “It’ll relax you.”

He doesn’t want to relax, he really doesn’t. Bad things happen when he relaxes and he becomes a wanton slut, eager for attention. He’s even capable of going to get Aidan for him to join them if he’s drunk enough.

He takes the offered glass anyway and drinks a little, then returns it to Luke.

“Now go on,” Luke says and drinks the remaining liquor in the glass, then leaves the glass on the night stand.

He can still hear Aidan moving about in the living room and he feels extremely self conscious, but does as he’s told. Most of the work’s already done, so he lowers the underwear to free Luke’s whole length. The erection has diminished slightly but when he takes it into his hand, it heavy and hard either way. He can’t help but notice how small his hand looks holding it and unconsciously, he thinks about Aidan’s tease about the size of his hands. 

The sound of foots steps walking up the hallway and stopping just a few paces away from Luke’s door makes him freeze for a few seconds till he hears the door next door opening and closing.

“Can’t you at least put on some music?” he timidly asks but Luke only smirks in response and takes the last drag of his cigarette.

“You are going to have to be very quiet,” Luke says matter-of-factly and continues to smirk, apparently enjoying the situation.

He takes a deep breath and looks back down at Luke’s erection and takes it with both hands and starts to stroke it up and down in lazy moves. Luke’s breathing quickens, but other than that, there’s no more reaction.

He’s extremely aware of how thin the wall must be and how every sound they make will be heard by Aidan.

“Alright…you know what? We can make this some other time. Come here, ”Luke says suddenly and takes his wrist and pulls him towards him till he’s sprawled completely on top of Luke. Hands grab his face and he’s been kissed hungrily. He lets himself be maneuvered until he’s the one lying on his back and Luke is now on top. At least now if Aidan were to come in, he can hide under Luke’s form.

The hungry kisses down his throat keep his mind away from thinking too much, thankfully and he lets himself be swayed by the subtle pleasure. He moans softly as he feels Luke’s crotch rub against his waking erection. He instinctively opens his legs invitingly and Luke settles in between.

Hands roam all over his body; his shirt is lifted over his head as he sits up for a second and his pants are pulled down. The warm feeling in his stomach and the diminishing of his inhibitions tell him the whiskey has done its work and he cannot hear Aidan any longer, only his own pants and small moans as Luke sets him apart. His underwear follows and he’s lying there completely naked.

He closes his eyes to enjoy the sensations better and as he hears a package unwrapping he opens his legs even wider.

There’s little preparation but he’s already getting used to Luke’s girth, so it’s not too painful and the lube eases the way in. His legs are pushed against his chest and he’s folded almost in half when Luke starts to quicken and deepen his pace. 

At the first drag of Luke’s dick over his prostate he loses any grip of consciousness and he moans loudly, no caring who hears him. Luke takes this as an invitation to moan loudly too and talk dirty, like he usually does.

“You like that, uh? You like my cock buried deep inside you,” Luke says in a husky whisper and he moans again.

“Faster!” he cries out and Luke complies eagerly, making the bed under them creak along with Luke’s thrusts. “Please…”

“Take it, little bitch,” Luke says loudly, a smirk adorning his face and he moans in response. All his nerves are alight and he can feel his pleasure growing stronger, but the words Luke just said still hurt, even if it seems they were told as a joke.

“Don’t call me that,” he says as Luke keeps pounding on him and he tries stopping him but when Luke thrusts particularly deep, he loses it and moans even louder.

Luke ignores him and slips out, and as his legs are grabbed, he’s turned around and ends up lying on his stomach. He’s penetrated again and the new position with Luke draped over his back sends him fast over the edge. There’s so much contact of skin and his erection keeps rubbing against the mattress underneath, and he feels so enveloped by the other man that he has to bury his head in the pillow to drown his even louder moans as he lifts his ass to meet Luke’s thrusts.

They last just a few more minutes due to their fast and hard pace and he ends up coming all over his stomach and bedcovers. He tries to relax a little, but Luke hasn’t yet come, and the over-sensitiveness makes him cry out as Luke continues to pound into him at least five more times before he comes too. 

He falls asleep with Luke still draped over his back and a now soft dick still inside. 

His last conscious thoughts are of Aidan as he falls in a deep, dreamless sleep.


	15. Chapter fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter fifteen! Hope you like it!

He wakes with the uncontrollably need to pee. 

Looking over to the window he realizes it’s already light outside and it’s a beautiful sunny day. 

Thankfully, Luke’s no longer draped over him, so he quietly sneaks out of bed and searches blindly for his underwear. He considers for a second to go to the bathroom only wearing that, but immediately changes his mind as Aidan’s image appears in it. The last thing he wants is for Aidan to see him coming out of Luke’s bedroom only wearing his underwear. Well, the last thing he wants if for Aidan to see him here, period.

He looks for the rest of his clothes; he even puts on his shoes and jacket. Maybe he should leave before anyone else sees him, that anyone else being Aidan.

As quietly as he can manage he walks up to the door and turns the doorknob. He opens the door just a little bit, enough for him to peak out into the hallway, which is kind of dark yet.

He glances towards the closed door to his right, and stops to listen if there’s any sound coming from inside. There’s none and he ponders for a second if he should go to the bathroom at all or just bolt through the front door like the coward he is. His bladder decides for him and he rushes like ghost through the hallway and enters the bathroom, closing the door very quietly behind him. 

Sighing in relief at emptying his bladder, he makes it out into the hallway without being seen. He wonders if he should say goodbye to Luke or just explain in a text that he had to leave early. He chooses the second one, for its too early in their relationship yet and he’d much rather save the awkward encounters with Aidan for later.

He tiptoes down the hallway towards the living room, cringing every time the wooden floor creaks, betraying his steps. He turns his head to look behind towards the two closed doors of Luke’s and Aidan’s bedroom, just to make sure they haven’t heard him and they aren’t there now witnessing his flight. They aren’t and he makes it to the living room and sighs. There’s a rug there so he starts walking with more confident steps. He’s passing the couch when a noise coming from the kitchen startles him and he jumps a little as he turns to look in its direction.

“Dean!” 

Aidan, who’s holding a mug in his hand and wearing a surprised expression on his handsome face, exclaims.

He’s rooted to the spot and his heart rate has accelerated to twice its normal pace. He can feel his palms starting to sweat. He’s been caught, of course. 

“Aidan?…uhm,” he tries but he can’t think of anything to say right now, so he just greets him. “Hi.”

Aidan’s expression changes suddenly and there’s no longer surprise there, but something else, something akin to sadness about it, and maybe…disappointment?

A hum is the only greeting he gets as Aidan turns around to place his mug in the sink and wash it, then turns back to face him. He looks tired, and there are shadows under his eyes. It seems he didn’t get much sleep last night, and as he looks at the couch he notices there are blankets thrown messily over it, like someone slept there. 

_Aidan slept here because we were too loud…_ he thinks and guilt hits him. 

He looks shyly at Aidan and the look on his eyes send a jolt of anxiety to his stomach. He looks so different than his usual self, there’s no cheeky, warm grin or mischievous spark in his eyes. He looks cold and distant.

He looks down at the floor, ashamed of himself, thinking desperately of something to say.

“Uhm…how are you?” he dares to ask and looking back at Aidan’s face he sees there’s no change in his bearing.

“Fine,” Aidan replies coldly and just stands there. Arms crossed over his chest.

“That’s good,” he says nervously and suddenly, he remembers the dinner he ought to make Aidan tonight.

“Oh…Aid?” he says shyly and Aidan’s only response is a lift of eyebrows. “About tonight…it’s still on…if you want to, of course.”

Aidan stares at him in slight confusion for a few seconds.

“Dinner?” he reminds Aidan.

“Oh…that,” Aidan says just as cold as before and sighs, unfolding his arms and looking down at the floor, then back up at him. He walks up to him and when he’s right beside him he leans little towards him. “Save that dinner for your boyfriend,” Aidan says and walks away, down the hallway. He hears a door opening and closing and he assumes it’s from Aidan’s bedroom.

The silence left after is deafening and he starts shivering. Cold dread has settled in his stomach and he needs out. He walks fast towards the door and leaves the house.  
The sun is shining and the birds are chirping. He should feel great on a day like this, but he feels nothing but. All he feels is anguish and self hate as he walks towards the bus stop. 

The ride is fast and short and all the while he thinks about Aidan. He’s never seen him act like that, so cold towards him. Not that he’s met him for long but ever since, the Irishman has always been warm smiles and kind gestures, so attentive and friendly, and cheerful; he hates to be the one to cause such coldness from Aidan. 

When he gets home he looks about his apartment and at Aidan’s work. It really surprises him the wretched sob that escapes his lips, but the idea keeps plaguing his mind. He has lost Aidan, and the thought is devastating. 

He sits down on the couch and tries to keep his emotions under control, so he ends up sobbing without tears. 

Once he’s stopped sobbing he goes for a very long shower, cleaning himself thoroughly, trying to clean Luke’s smell and touch off his skin angrily. How can he be so stupid? All he had to go through to come here in the first place, everything his friends did for him so he could get away from his previous relationship was for naught because he continues to screw things up over and over again. And now, he’s in another loveless relationship because he can’t be alone apparently and he can’t say no. But the very worst thing ever is that Aidan, his friend, is disappointed in him. 

He steps out of the shower and gets dressed.

 _I screwed up,_ he types Jared and sits down on his bed to wait for the reply.

\-----------------------------

He sighs in frustration as he kicks the door closed. Dean really needs to make up his damn mind. 

When he heard someone coming from the bedroom, he was sure he was going to come face to face with Luke’s latest fuck buddy, or even a stranger, but not Dean, never Dean. The moans he heard last night, belonging to a faceless stranger, but now that he thinks about it, the voice sounded very familiar. Now he can’t help but imagine Dean as he recalls last night’s sounds. They were so loud he had to leave his cozy bed and sleep on the couch, and even then he could still hear them some.

“Dean, what are you doing?” he asks to nobody as he rubs his face. He hears the front door closing and he knows Dean has just left. 

He feels really bad for acting so cold towards the blond but he has already warned him about Luke, more than once and yet, Dean continues to smash his head against the wall. He knows pretty well the stubborn kiwi doesn’t want to be with Luke, it’s clear in his eyes and it makes him angry. He’s angry because he knows Dean does what he does because he doesn’t believe himself deserving of better, and also, because he can’t force Dean into dumping Luke, even if it’s what’s best for the kiwi. All he can do is warn him and he’s already done that.

He huffs in frustration and sits heavily on his bed. 

Regret starts to creep on him as he thinks about Dean’s expression after he told him what he could do with his dinner. Still, he’s angry at him for not making his mind. He can’t keep waiting for Dean to choose him if he doesn’t even know what he wants.

Suddenly, the thought crosses him that he hasn’t exactly been frank with Dean. He hasn’t told him how he can’t stop thinking about him, or how all he wants is to be close to him and hold him and be the one to wake up every morning next to him. He hasn’t told him he’s falling for him, in ways he has never felt before. Maybe if he’s a little more straight forward with him…

\-------------------------

“I don’t know what to do, Jared. I can’t lose Aidan!” he practically sobs and Jared sighs.

“Dean, Dean. See? This is what happens when you don’t do what you want but what others want you to do,” Jared reproaches him and he looks up at the screen through his tears.

“I know, Jared, but please, tell me what to do,” he begs.

“I can’t tell you what to do, only advise you on what you should, which is to talk to Luke and tell him the truth. If you don’t want to be with him, you don’t have to be with him, period.”

“You make it sound so simple,” he says as he dries his face with the sleeve of his cardigan. 

“Because it is simple, you just like to make everything more complicated,” Jared says and he’s right. “Dean, listen to me. What you did last night was a small slip, not everything is settled. You can talk to Luke still and tell him you changed your mind, or that you are confused, or anything you want and he’s going to have to understand. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

The confidence in Jared’s tone makes him feel a bit better, but still, he’s worried about Aidan and the fact that he might lose him as a friend, and he just can’t deal with that. He’s up to anything to make him forgive him, even begging.

“Ok?” Jared asks reassuringly and he nods, sniffing.

“Ok,” he replies.

“Now, Dean, I have to get going, but I’ll talk to you soon, ok?”

“Ok,” he says again and smiles at his friend.

“Bye, and take care,” Jared says and waves at him smiling.

The conversation ends and he sets to cleaning his apartment, just to keep his mind off things for now.

\-----------------------

It’s Saturday night and he’s in no mood of going to the pub. He’s been sent text after text from Adam telling him to just get his ass down there and stop mopping. Adam knows already about his little meeting with Dean and he does not approve. He can’t blame him for in fact it seems like the little bastard doesn’t know what he wants –Adam’s words- but he knows better. He hasn’t even declared openly to the kiwi and Dean has never done it back either so there’s really nothing much going on between them other than friendship, with a few kisses here and there, but that’ll be it. He even has started to wonder if he’s seen more than there was to be seen. 

_Come, Aid, it’ll cheer you up,_ another text from Adam and he can’t keep sending negatives so he agrees to stay for only a couple of hours. 

He ends up having a great time, of course and he wonders why he didn’t want to go in the first place.

Luke joins them later. They haven’t spoken in days, so it’s weird to be sitting across from him. Thankfully, the rest of the guys know about their fall out, so they don’t ask questions. And as usual, Luke leaves them sometime in the night and doesn’t come back. 

When he gets home, he’s a little tipsy but happily so. He notices Luke’s car is parked outside and he just knows he didn’t come home alone. He selfishly hopes it’s not Dean who he brought this time.

The living room is empty so he goes to his room and as he can hear, there’s definitely someone in Luke’s room with him, and it’s not Dean. At least he doesn’t sound like him.  
Once again, he ends up sleeping on the couch, his long body no even fitting well so he has to let his feet dangling. He starts thinking about all the crap he’s taken for Luke in all his years living with him and he wonders why he never thought of finding a place on his own before. It’s not like he doesn’t have the money for it, he just did it for the sake of friendship, and yeah, it’s cheaper, but it’s just not worth it.

He falls asleep with that thought in mind and when he wakes up, it’s because of noise coming from the kitchen. He yawns and stretches like a cat, rubbing his eyes, trying to get rid of the sleepiness, the blankets falling to the floor with his movements. He looks to the kitchen to see who is making all that noise and he’s about to snap at them to shut up, but then, he remembers. This is either Dean or Luke’s fuck buddy and he needs to investigate… or simply just stand up and see who they are.

He does as much and he’s not even surprised to see the same guy from days ago.

“Oh, hi there, Aidan. Did I wake you?” the nameless and unbelievable shameless asshole asks as he makes coffee. He doesn’t like this asshole at all. Who does he think he is anyway, roaming over his kitchen like he owns it?

“Yeah, you did,” he says kind of coldly, but not wanting to tell the guy off just yet.

“Sorry mate, making myself some coffee then I’ll be on my way,” the guy says hastily and continues to fumble about _his_ kitchen.

He had been planning on approaching the subject with a little more tact, but sleepiness and irritation are not a good combination apparently, so he just blurts out, “Are you aware that Luke has a boyfriend?” a frown on his face.

“Ah…yes. What’s the big deal? I’ve got a girlfriend,” the guy says as if it were most common thing in the world. _Is it common?_

“Well, it is for me, since Luke’s boyfriend is my friend,” he states in an angry tone but the guy just brushes him off.

“Look, mate, this is not my problem. Luke and I just get along really well, but there’s nothing serious going on anyway. We’re just having a bit of fun,” he says and takes a long gulp of coffee. He serves another mug with the dark liquid and places it in front of him. “Coffee?”

It smells great and it looks great too, but he doesn’t want this guy’s coffee, he wants him out of his house now. He remembers then his threat to Luke, about him telling Dean about his infidelities if he didn’t do it himself. He really should do it, even more so now that Dean has decided to trace the path to self destruction by being Luke’s boyfriend. 

Ok, maybe that’s a little overdramatic.

He’s brought back from his musings as the guy lets his mug on the sink with a clank. “Ok, gotta run. See you around, Aidan,” he says and walks towards the door. 

He stands there with a frown on his face as the door closes and he huffs in frustration. 

\---------------------

It’s Monday and he hasn’t seen Aidan again. He hates it that the Irishman is mad at him. He has every right to be, but still, it hurts too much. Though, he has to admit he’s not quite sure why Aidan’s mad. Yes, Aidan has told him Luke’s not good for him and that he’ll end up getting hurt, but those are not reasons enough for Aidan to be mad at him. Although it does seems like Aidan likes him more than just friends and he has been going back and forth between him and Luke and now he’s Luke’s boyfriend. _Ok, maybe he does have reasons to be mad at me._

He texted Luke that morning, after he left without notice, to explain he had to go to work early but Luke seemed unfazed by him just disappearing when they meet again for dinner on Saturday night. Thankfully, there was no sex and Luke dropped him home afterwards and they said their goodbyes with a small kiss, before Luke drove away.  
He tried, he did try to tell Luke the truth but he was acting so sweet and attentive over dinner and he just didn’t have the heart to tell him.

He’s sent two texts to Luke today, telling him to get together so they can talk, but the Welshman has pretty much ignored them. He ends up wondering if it’s best to just drift away a little before dropping the truth on Luke. He can almost hear Jared nagging at him for thinking that. Still, it’s a far better option than doing it after Luke has taken him for dinner.  
He leaves for work and Orlando is there. They greet each other cheerfully and they start to work. He tries to focus on making coffee and Orlando’s instructions here and there, but all he can think about is Aidan. He really misses him, and every few minutes he glances outside through the windows, just in case he sees him passing by. 

He really needs to ask for his phone number. They are friends and neither has thought of asking for the other’s number. He would really like to send a text to Aidan, even if just to ask him how he is. He has no idea how to mend their relationship but he would do anything possible. It’s a wonder how much he misses the Irishman, even if he has been in his life for so little time. He needs to make it right, but it would be so much simpler if he had the guy’s phone number.

“Dean! The table in the corner is asking for the check,” Orlando snaps at him and he jumps a little in surprise.

“Sorry, I was just…sorry, “he tries to explain but prefers to take the check to the elderly couple and not say anything.

He’s able to focus the rest of the day and Aidan plagues his mind just a couple more times.

Just about an hour before his shift is over, a customer enters and when he turns away from the coffee machines to go and tend to them, he’s greeted by the sight of the Irishman, standing by the counter and looking straight at him. He’s not wearing the same cold expression from the other day and he feels his nerves relaxing a little. He smiles at Aidan and greets him shyly.

\------------------------

He has been thinking about Dean this past two days and feeling awful about having treated him so coldly. The kiwi doesn’t deserve it and he’s in no position to ask for explanations from Dean. If Dean wants to be with Luke, then he should just accept it and try to make their friendship work, even if it might kill him to see them together.  
He enters the cafe and immediately spots the blond by the coffee machines. A slight warm feeling invades him, just like every other time he is greeted by the sight of the blond and he sighs. It’s going to be really hard to be just friends with him.

He walks up to the counter and when Dean sees him, a warm, shy smile adorns his beautiful face. He really looks good in that black t-shirt and apron. He smiles in return.

“Hello Aidan… How have you been?” Dean asks softly, stuttering a little and an overly cute blush forms on his cheeks.

“Um, good, and you?” he asks smiling and has to look down at his shoes for looking at those blue eyes makes him a little bit nervous. The whole situation makes him smile wider. They are acting like teenagers.

“Fine,” comes the simple reply, but he knows Dean is happy to see him. He can tell.

He nods and puts his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do with them.

“Um, listen Dean, I’m really sorry for the other day...for acting so mean towards you…you don’t deserve it and I was acting childish. I’m sorry,” he ends and looks straight into Dean’s blue eyes.

Apparently, Dean wasn’t expecting an apology so he’s all flustered by it.

“Uh…no Aidan….you…you don’t have to be sorry. I was in fact going to…”Dean starts but gets interrupted.

“Dean, here’s order for table fou…” Dean’s work mate says in an awfully familiar voice. 

His blood runs cold as he looks up and Luke’s fuck buddy is standing there, holding a cup of coffee for Dean to take, looking at him in surprise. For a second, he thinks that he doesn’t know Dean is Luke’s boyfriend, but the guilt is evident in his eyes.

“Oh, this is Orlando. Orlando, this is Aidan. Be right back,” Dean says quickly and disappears with the tray in hand.

They stare at each other for a few seconds.

“Orlando, uh? Nice to meet you,” he says sarcastically, letting the venom show in his voice.

Orlando looks down, apparently ashamed of himself. Just in that moment, Dean comes back, thankfully oblivious to the tension in the air.

“An Irish and a slice of chocolate cake for table six.” Dean looks at him smiling as he says that, probably because of the Irish thing and it’s so cute it almost makes him forget about this whole fucked up situation. He smiles at Dean and when Orlando disappears through the door leading to the kitchen he follows him with his eyes.

What time do you get out?” he asks distractedly and Dean starts cleaning the counter.

“Um, a little less than an hour…why?”

“You can go, there’s only three tables, I can handle them,” Orlando barges in and Dean gives him a hopeful look.

“Sure, let Orlando here take care of things,” he says, feigning a smile and Orlando smiles grimly.

“No…I can stay…it’s just another hour,” Dean says reluctantly, but not wanting to leave his ‘friend’ with all the work, considerate as he is.

“Seriously, I can handle it. Go,” Orlando insists and Dean smiles happily.

“I’ll return the favor…thank you,” he says eagerly and gives Orlando a half hug then turns to him smiling brightly. “I’ll go get changed.”

They are left alone, staring at each other.

"What are the chances...'cause you do know Dean is Luke's boyfriend, right?" he asks ironically.

"Yes," Orlando says simply.

“Are you going to tell him?” he asks bluntly. Orlando grimaces a little and turns his back to him.

“Look, I know it looks bad…” Orlando starts explaining and turns to face him again, “but when we first got together, they weren’t even boyfriends,” he says, pointing in the direction Dean disappeared to.

“They are boyfriends now…are you going to tell him now?” he has Orlando cornered and just in that moment, Dean appears, wearing his jacket and a scarf and looking flushed, probably from changing so fast. It’s such an endearing sight he has to smile, even if all he wants is punching someone, preferably Luke and Orlando.

“Bye, mate, and thanks again,” Dean says goodbye to Orlando and they leave the café. They start walking in the cold and Dean stops abruptly.

“Thank you for coming…I wanted to see you but, thought you didn’t want to see me,” Dean says awkwardly. “I’ve missed you.”

He feels every bit of anger dissipate at the kiwi’s words. He smiles at him and clears his throat.

“Well…truth is, I’ve missed you too…it’s why I swallowed my stupid pride and decided to come in the first place.” Dean giggles at that and he realizes how much he’s missed those little noises. 

“So…I know you said I should keep my dinners, but I still owe you so…would you like to have dinner with me? You can choose whatever you want.”

He knows if he accepts Dean will be happy, and he is pretty hungry, so why not, even thought he doesn’t feel really comfortable accepting this kind of things from the blond. He feels it should be him inviting Dean, but for this time, he’ll let him pay.

“Umm… I am kind of hungry,” he says in a teasing tone and the hesitance in Dean’s face disappears to be replaced by a bright smile.

They pick a nice enough restaurant and they order their food. They talk and laugh and just have a great time together, and it’s pretty easy for him to just forget about the whole Luke-Orlando thing and enjoy the moment with this gorgeous blond in front of him, giggling and laughing at his stupid jokes.

They leave the restaurant with full belies and he can’t stop thinking about how cute and round Dean’s looked when he rubbed it at the restaurant, claiming he wouldn’t be able to eat in a week. He even felt a little aroused at the thought. _Well, there’s a kink I didn’t know I had_. But then again, everything about Dean is alluring to him.

He drives Dean home and they say their goodbyes awkwardly, both wanting to do more than just smile at each other so they end up hugging. They hug a lot, he notices, and just when Dean is about to enter the building he remembers to ask for his number. 

“Dean!” he shouts and steps out of the car.

The blond turns and walks back towards the car. “I can’t help but realise we haven’t exchanged phone numbers,” he says charmingly and Dean smiles brightly.

He drives home feeling warm and fuzzy all over and smiling like a dork, recalling every single thing he found cute bout Dean that night; how he fell in deep concentration, wrinkling the bridge of his nose when trying to decide whether he wanted chocolate cake or crème brulee, going for the crème brulee in the end, for he can get chocolate cake anytime -according to him- or how he would ask for a taste of his own food or dessert, just to try it.

He is getting so ridiculously infatuated with the kiwi it’s starting to get really pathetic. He doesn’t mind tough; he’s got Dean’s phone number now and he can all sorts of things with that.

He makes it home, and he’s reminded of all the crap about Luke. He has to talk to him, even if he doesn’t want to. They have hardly shared a few glances here and there of late. And he knows it’s going to be a dead end anyway so why bother. Maybe he’ll get better results talking with Orlando; at least he had decency to look guilty.  
The next morning, he wakes up and searches lazily through his phone. There’s a new message and he smiles from ear to ear when he sees it’s from Dean.

_Good morning ;D_

He groans at the cuteness overload. A winky face? Really?

 _Good morning yourself. How’s that tummy of yours? Still full?_ he sniggers at the inappropriate question, but he really wants to know. 

_Oh, yes! I had a hard time getting up from bed,_ he smirks at the mental image. 

They continue sending texts back and forth, until Dean has to go to work.

\----------------------

Dean sighs contentedly as he opens the door to his apartment. Being with Aidan, if only for a couple of hours makes him all giddy and happy. It makes him strengthen his resolve to end things with Luke as soon as possible. It definitely isn’t worth being with him if it’s going to get in the way of his friendship with Aidan.

He goes straight to bed, with the decision to go to Luke’s tomorrow and clear things up. Who knows? If it all works out well, he and Aidan might start something more than friendship. 

The next morning he wakes up and smiles as soon as he remembers last night. He really loves to spend time with Aidan and now that’s he’s got his number, he can talk to him all he wants without having to actually go to his house, which would be just plain awkward. 

He decides to text him, so he writes a plain _Good morning,_ before going to the bathroom. He’s stepping out of the shower when he gets an answer, and he smiles happily, snorting at the mention of his distended belly. They continue chatting till he arrives at the cafe, talking about all kinds of nonsense’s and he wonders why they didn’t exchange numbers sooner as he beams happily at every text Aidan sends.

He puts his phone away when he sees Orlando looking at him weirdly. They work in silence all afternoon, Orlando giving him this off looks every now and then and he begins to wonder if it is because of Aidan. Maybe he thinks they are a couple and he’s not comfortable around gay people.

He tries to ignore him, because what can he do anyway? If the guy doesn’t like gay people, he’s in every right to do so, and he’s not about changing Orlando’s mind.

His phone vibrates with a text and he smiles as he sees Aidan has sent him a picture of him working, with his tool belt on and holding a hammer, posing ridiculously. He really does look sexy. He quickly puts his phone away on his apron’s pocket as Orlando gives him a cup of coffee to take to one of the tables.

His decision to talk to Luke that day kind of fails, for he’s stuck at work till very late, having to cover for Orlando, who asked him to stay till closing time, and tomorrow will be the same probably. But what is two more days, right?

He and Aidan continue to chat through texts from the time he gets home, until they fall asleep, Aidan sending him cute pictures as he gets ready for bed in ridiculous poses again, making him laugh at each of them. Aidan sends a last one as he’s already in bed, with his head on his pillow, waving at him.

 _Sleep tight, Deano_.

 _You too, Aid_.

Thursday comes and he gets up and ready for the day, sending his now usual text to Aidan.

There’s a new guy working in the café so his shift starts later in the afternoon. He sends a message to Luke telling him he’s coming over at about ten, but he gets no answer. He hasn’t gotten many texts from Luke these past days, only a couple each day asking him how he is doing, but nothing more. He doesn’t mind, though, it’ll make it easier for him to end the relationship.

He walks all the way there and it takes him about twenty minutes. It should have taken less time but he wasn’t exactly walking very fast. 

As he stands outside, he takes a deep breath before knocking on the door. Both Aidan’s and Luke’s cars are there and he regrets not having told Aidan he was coming.

 

\-----------------

He wakes up to noises coming from the living room. 

It’s nine as he checks on his phone. There’s a good morning from Dean and he’s quick to answer it with a _Good morning to you as well, gorgeous_.

Now that he’s fully awake, the noises coming from the living room are more evident. He knows exactly who is making them as he saw them last night, when Luke and Orlando walked through the door and into Luke’s bedroom, Orlando giving him a fake smile as they walked past him.

He gets up and puts on a white t-shirt and goes out into the hallway to go to the bathroom and relieve himself and brush his teeth. Once that’s done, he goes down the hallway to the kitchen, trying to ignore the couple sitting in the couch watching TV and drinking coffee. He starts serving some coffee for himself, trying to keep his cool as much as possible, but when the two idiots start laughing at some stupid joke on the tv he snaps and turns around.

“Hey! You bastards planning on telling Dean about your -whatever the fuck this is- anytime soon?” he asks in a stern, but still surprisingly collected tone.

Orlando’s smile fades and looks down at his coffee mug.

“Don’t spoil our breakfast, Aid, will you?” Luke says in his cool tone and it the most he has told him in days.

“Aidan, I will tell him,” Orlando says calmly and it angers him more.

“And when the fuck is that going to be? You see him most days, don’t you think you should have told him already?” he asks in an angry voice but a knock on the door interrupts his lecturing.

Neither he nor Luke move to answer it.

“Get off you lazy ass and answer it!” he tells Luke and turns around to continue filling his mug.

He hears as Luke gets up from the couch and goes to the door.

\---------------------------

The door opens and Luke’s there, looking a little surprised at seeing him there. He looks like he just woke up, still wearing his pajama, which is only boxers and nothing more.

“Hi, Luke…um…how are you?” he greets him and the look on Luke’s face tells him something’s off.

“What are you doing here?” Luke asks bluntly and he feels a bit of regret at just coming here without waiting for a reply.

“I need to talk to you…can we…” he asks and takes a step closer to the door and Aidan standing in the kitchen with his back turned draws his attention. He gives a smile at the brunette as he turns around but at Aidan’s reaction at seeing him, it falters. Aidan curses and covers his mouth with one hand. Right then, he notices there’s someone on the couch with a very familiar face.

“Orlando?” he asks in disbelief, because why on earth is Orlando sitting in Aidan’s couch? 

He doesn’t understand anything so he looks questioningly at Orlando, who looks very troubled, then at Aidan and lastly at Luke, who just stands there, holding the door open and preventing him from entering all the way.

“You should have said you were coming,” Luke says in slight annoyance and it dawns on him like cold water. He looks back at Orlando, who’s wearing a guilty expression on his face. Now he understands what the looks he gave him yesterday were about. They weren’t because he is homophobic, but because he is banging his boyfriend behind his back.  
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Orlando says and he sounds genuinely guilty. 

He looks down at the floor, then back at Aidan, who’s got his arms folded over his chest and is avoiding looking at him.

“Why did you come here anyway?” Luke asks again and he feels anger swelling in him.

“I came to tell you it’s over between us. Thanks for making it so fucking easy!” he says angrily and turns around and walks down the small steps. He storms off, trying to put as much distance from that house as he can.

He notices he’s trembling when he comes to a small stop and his breathing is elaborated. 

Someone shouts his name from behind and he starts running again, as fast as he can, but the person chasing him has longer legs and he’s caught easily.

“Dean, stop!” the voice says and he feels his arm being grabbed and a strong body pressing him towards the side of the sidewalk, forcing him to stop running. There are tears running down his face and he’s hyperventilating, also feeling kind of faint, so he unconsciously clings onto the body next to him, trying to breathe normal again and stop the sobs that escape his throat.

\----------------------

He felt his stomach drop when he saw who it was. Not in a million years he imagined Dean would be the one to greet Luke on the other side of the door. 

It all was so fucked up that it seemed like a bad joke, but it wasn’t a joke and the betrayal in Dean’s face was very real; his confused little face at first breaking his heart in small pieces.

He could have prevented this from happening. He could have spared Dean the embarrassment had he said something, but he didn’t. He kept it to himself, hoping that miraculously, Luke would act honorably for once and tell Dean the truth. It’s his entire fault and Dean is suffering the consequences.

When he’s able to stop the kiwi, he seems about to collapse. Sobbing hard and hyperventilating is not a good combination. 

He takes Dean into his embrace and starts rubbing calming circles on the trembling back. 

They stay there, until the sobbing subsides and the kiwi’s breathing returns to normal. At some point, Orlando stood in the fronts steps of the house, torn between coming and talk to Dean or get back inside. At a wave of his hand in a dismissal gesture, Orlando goes back inside. Dean needs to calm down before there’s any sort of talking, and thankfully, as he can feel against his chest, the trembling has subsided and the sobbing is far in between. The only trembling he feels is his own, since he’s standing in the middle of the street wearing only his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

He feels hands on his chest, suddenly, trying to push him away and he lets his arms fall limp around Dean, letting him take a few steps back.

“You feel better?” he asks Dean and tries to get a glimpse of the kiwi’s face but the blond keeps his head down. He places his hands softly over Dean’s shoulders and rubs small circles with his thumb reassuringly. “Are you calmed now?”

Dean avoids looking at him and look down the street, in the direction he was heading before he caught up to him. His face is stained with tears and he reaches with his hand to dry them. The act seems to break Dean’s sort of haze like state and his blue eyes meet his.

“Did you know?” Dean’s simple question sends a jolt of guilt to his stomach. He’s unable to answer the blond right away and this time, it’s him who doesn’t want to meet the other’s eyes.

“Did you?” Dean asks again and he lets his arms fall to his sides and his hands go to his pockets. He nods as he looks down at his shoes. He looks up at the blond guiltily.

Dean only stares at him in disbelief, eyes searching, trying to find any trace of lying. He wishes he was lying, for the hurt is evident in Dean’s face as it downs on him that Aidan, his friend, has kept the truth from him.

“I have to go,” Dean says, voice breaking and new tears running down his face. He dries them with the sleeve of his jacket as he starts to walk away.

“Dean, wait!” he says and grabs Dean arm from behind, forcing him to turn and face him.

“No, Aidan!” Dean snaps and snatches his arm free from his hold. “Leave me alone…I want to be alone.”

And with that, Dean turns again and walks away. His retreating form getting smaller as he goes and he shouts a curse, making the few people around stare at him in shock.

“I’m so sorry, Dean,” he says, softly this time, and turns to walk back to the house.


	16. Chapter sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay...again... I'm so ashamed of myself, and sorry if the chapter is not great, had a little bit of a writer's block.
> 
> Still, hope you enjoy!

He walks with no fixed destination and when he finds himself a few paces from the café he realises he’s got like six hours before his shift so he sighs dejectedly. He doesn’t want to go back to his apartment, so he crosses the street and sits on a bench, right across from the coffee shop. 

Sighing again and letting a small sob escape, he thanks today is Orlando’s day off. He wouldn’t be able to endure a whole day’s work with him. He knows he’ll have to eventually, but not today. He can’t today.

He tries not to think about anything remotely related to the embarrassing encounter but it obviously turns out to be futile. It’s all he can think about and how he’s been laughed at by Luke, Orlando, and the one who hurts the most, Aidan. He knew and did not tell him. 

He stays there for long minutes, looking at people passing by and while he’s at it, he gets an uncontrollable need for a smoke. He’s not much of a smoker in a normal day basis, but right now, all he craves is a cigarette…and alcohol probably, but since he’s got to work in a couple hours he’ll settle for a cigarette, for now.

He buys some and a lighter too, then takes out one of the cigarettes to lit it. Once it’s lit, he takes a long drag, filling his lungs with the smoke and breathes it out, along with a few coughs. It’s been a few years since he quit and he relishes at the taste. It’s horrible, but in some way, it comforts him.

He walks back towards the bench and sits down again sighing. 

An overwhelming feeling of loneliness invades him and he can feel tears forming in his eyes anew as he takes another drag and the uncontrollable need to sob wins over, so he ends up sobbing pathetically. It’s his own fault, he knows. He got himself into this mess and now he’s paying for it. 

Suddenly, his phone vibrates with a text. It’s Aidan.

_I’m sorry, Dean,_ it simply says and the tears he’d been fighting to keep under control start flowing freely down his face. He stands up, wiping the tears from his face and looks around, unsure of what to do; stay here, or go back home. He sits down again after a few seconds, but ends up standing up again and starts walking home.

The fact that Aidan kept the truth from him is what makes this all worst. He’d intended to end his ‘relationship’ with Luke anyway and Orlando is more an acquaintance than a friend. But Aidan being there with that guilty expression on his face made it ten times worst, like he was part of the whole scheme. He knows he can’t blame it all on him, though, but it still hurts.

\-------------------------------

He enters the house and almost clashes with Orlando who is pacing close to the door.

“Is he ok?” Orlando asks with a worried expression on his face he just wants to slap away.

“Of course he’s not ok,” he snaps at him as he walks past him and goes straight to his bedroom. He doesn’t have time or energy to deal with these bastards. The damage is done.

He grabs some clothes and puts them on, not even bothering to take a shower. He goes back to the living room and apparently, Orlando’s gone and Luke is nowhere to be seen so with a shrug of his shoulder and muttering _fuckers_ , he grabs his keys and jacket and leaves the house.

He knows it’s probably not the best idea to follow Dean right now, but he really needs to apologize, take it off his chest, and beg for Dean’s forgiveness -a rather selfish move on his part, yeah- but he moves like a man possessed.

Ten minutes later, he finds himself outside Dean’s apartment, nerves forming knots in his stomach in anticipation. _Ok, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come right away_ , he thinks. He should give Dean some space and time to think.

Sighing, he turns back to the way he came from. 

He grabs his phone and types an apology for Dean as he walks back home.

\--------------------------

He went home, ate a little bit of lunch and came back to the cafe and now he feels slightly better. He has smoked most of the cigarettes, though and like four cups of coffee. His shift starts only in a few minutes, so he puts out his cigarette and steps inside. 

It’s a busy day, so he’s pretty much distracted the whole afternoon and he’s thankful for that, but when the time comes to leave, he can feel the loneliness creeping up on him with full force. He just knows it’s going to be an awful night, but as he remembers while he changes, there’s a full bottle of vodka somewhere in his kitchen he’s set on drowning into.

The walk home is uneventful but it seems to last an eternity and when he gets there, he’s so tired and done that all he wants to do is sleep for days and just basically, crawl into his bed with the bottle of vodka and just forget about the world. 

Dread engulfs him when he remembers tomorrow he’ll have to see Orlando, for not showing up is not an option. Getting fired would be the cherry on top of the crap cake. Although, on second thought, his stupid job is pretty much the only reason he’s got left to continue staying in this country, so maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He’s running that risk anyway if he shows up hung-over, which he intends on doing no matter what.

As he reaches his floor, he panics for a second when he sees there’s a man sitting on the floor against his door seemingly asleep. He leans down closer to inspect the stranger and he’s not very surprised to see who the dark curls belong to. Of course Aidan came, and though he is no mood to talk to anyone, the mere sight is heartwarming. Who knows how long he’s been here waiting? 

He doesn’t really want to wake him for he’s not ready to talk to him or forgive him, but he can’t get inside his apartment without doing so and it would be just cruel to leave him there, so he leans down and shakes Aidan’s shoulder softly. 

“Aid?” he says softly and the man sitting on the floor lets out an indecipherable grumble and he can’t help but compare him to an oversized guardian pup. 

“Aidan,” he tries again and this time, Aidan replies.

“What,” Aidan says in a voice that sounds all gruff from sleep and his hunch over position, and a little annoyed at being woken up too.

“Um…you are sleeping…by my door?” he replies, given it’s the only thing he can think for an answer.

“What?”Comes the confused reply and he lets out a small chuckle. Aidan really is cute when sleepy. He brushes that thought away as he remembers why he’s feeling like shit. 

“Wake up,” he says, a little louder this time, and Aidan lifts his head slowly to look up at him, still confused.

“Oh, shit. I fell asleep,” Aidan says as he starts to stand up when he gets in touch with reality again. “Sorry,” he says and runs his hands through his hair in a failed attempt at tidying it. 

He looks down at the floor not wanting to meet Aidan’s eyes, and not wanting him to see his own bloodshot ones either. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks and is very aware of how dead his voice sounds to his ears.

Aidan’s hands go to the pockets of his jeans -a nervous tic apparently- while he thinks for an answer. “I just…wanted to see you, talk to you, but if you don’t want to…I can come back later. I just… I really want us to talk. Please.”

Dean thinks about it for a second. He wants to ask Aidan to leave for he needs to be alone right now and sort things out, but one look at the Irishman’s eyes tells him Aidan really needs for him to listen to him, for it is evident the situation is hurting him also and he might be mad at Aidan, but hurting him is a big no no. Also, being alone might not be the best way to go tonight. 

“Can we talk?” Aidan asks again and he gives a little nod and moves to open the door. 

\---------------------------

He enters Dean’s apartment walking behind the blond. It’s been days since he last was here but it feels like an eternity. He missed this place. He missed Dean. It’s why he had to go see him at the café in the first place. Dean has taken off his jacket and sat down on the couch. He’s looking down at his folded hands as he waits for him to start speaking apparently, which he does.

“Dean, I know you probably don’t want me here right now, but…,” he thinks for a moment, unsure of what to say next. Truth is he doesn’t even know what he’s going to say.

“Since when do you know?” Dean asks suddenly, in a crestfallen tone, interrupting his thoughts.

He stares at the blond but Dean does not meet his eyes for he continues to look down at his hands. He had been waiting for that question, but not for it to be the first out of the blonds’ mouth.

“A few days,” he says in a small voice, “I didn’t know Orlando was you work mate…I found out that day I picked you up. Didn’t even know his name before that,” he tries to explain.

“Oh…so you acted like you didn’t know him?” Dean asks in disbelief. “Wow, Aidan, you would really make a great actor,” Dean ends ironically as he finally looks up to meet his gaze.

The words hurt, but they are true. 

“Dean, I’m so sorry, I know I should have told you...I just didn’t know how,” he says in a desperate attempt at making Dean forgive him.

“Yeah…” Dean says dejectedly and stands up, “...you should have.”

He runs his hand over his face and sighs. He follows Dean with his eyes as he goes to the kitchen. The blond disappears from view as he starts looking for something through the bottom cabinets and when he reappears, he’s holding a bottle, a bottle of vodka.

“You are not planning on drowning your problems in alcohol, are you?” he asks carefully, but the dark look Dean gives him tells him he asked the wrong question.

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing,” Dean says a bit snappy as he starts filling a glass with the clear liquid. “You want one?”

Aidan considers the idea of rejecting the offered drink, but on second thought, it’ll be one glass less left for Dean to drink, so he accepts. 

“Um…sure,” he says and walks towards the kitchen counter. Dean serves him a glass and takes his own to gulp it down all at once, grimacing as the liquid burns his insides.

“You should slow it down a bit, Dean,” he softly advices, trying to coax the blond as subtly as possible to not get intoxicated but he receives a huff and a snort in response.

“Why?” Dean snaps again, while refilling his glass. “If I want to get pissed I’m in every right to do so.”

Dean’s got a point, but being his friend and very responsible of Dean’s suffering, he can’t just stand and watch.

“Please, Dean, can’t we just talk about this like adults. You don’t need to get pissed to feel better…you’ll just end up feeling worst and get a bitching hang-over, most likely,” he tries to reason, but as the words leave his mouth he can sense Dean is getting slightly angrier by the second. Dean looks like he is about to say something but only huffs and drinks some more. Just a few gulps this time before he sets the glass back on the counter.

“I thought you wanted to talk, or are you just going to stand there and look in disapproval at my actions?”

It’s a bit of a shock to see Dean acting so…snappy. He’s not used to this side of the kiwi and he feels a bit uncomfortable with it.

“Dean…I’ve said I’m sorry already, why are you being so hard?” 

“What? Because I don’t forgive you instantly so you can feel better I’m being hard on you?” Dean asks with a tone of disbelief in his voice. “You are supposed to be my friend.” 

Dean’s voice sounds so broken that he can notice his anger is only a slim cover up, “Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Or you thought it was better that I found out like that? By running into them together while I had no clue of what was going on?” Dean says getting more and more agitated and he can clearly see his blue eyes filling with tears, but he needs for Dean to open his eyes, so he takes his chance. What better moment than now, right?

“Don’t be unfair Dean. I might not have told you about Luke and Orlando, but I did warn you. I told you Luke would come up with some crap like this, and what did you do? You completely ignored my advice then went ahead and became his boyfriend,” he says, his voice rising as he gets a bit exasperated. “Did you really want to be with him or were you just too afraid to say no to him?” he asks at last and Dean’s expression tells him he’s just hit a nerve.

“You know what? Fuck off!” Dean snaps angrily, surprising him even more. He didn’t know the kiwi had it in him to tell him off like that. “You know what I went through in my last relationship. I confided in you telling you how much he hurt me…how I had to watch in my own home how he cheated on me…in my own bed, while I was in the house…and now this crap…” 

“Dean…” 

“No, Aidan,” Dean says in a defeated voice. “You should probably go.” 

And with that, Dean gulps down the rest of the vodka and refills his glass again. He shouldn’t have pushed so hard, but he did and now, Dean is pushing him away.

“No, Dean, c’mon, can’t we talk this through?” he says in a bordering on desperate tone and watches in slight concern as Dean drowns the third glass completely in one go, grimacing again and looking very flushed.

“Just go, Aidan,” Dean says in a strained voice.

“I can’t just go and leave you here alone, sad and drunk,” he says matter-of-factly and crosses his arms over his chest.

Dean doesn’t say anything for a while, just looks down at his empty glass. All of a sudden, he starts sobbing and he has no idea what to do so he does the only thing he can. Walking up towards the blond, he grabs him by the sweater and hauls him against his chest and into his embrace and Dean lets out a little squeak of surprise. He wraps the kiwi tight with his arms and kisses the top of his head, drawing comfort for himself too by smelling Dean’s familiar shampoo…and cigarettes? Dean is tense at first, but soon, he can feel him going pliant in his embrace.

They stay that way for long minutes; Aidan drawing soothing circles across Dean’s back with one hand and the other stroking golden, soft curls. Dean continues to sob against his chest till he’s calmed down enough for the sobs to become just sniffs.

\---------------------

He’s mad at Aidan. Mad at Luke and Orlando also, but what Aidan did hurt him ten times more. But as he listened to the man in front of him talk, he couldn’t help but agree with him and feel like a complete prick. He shouldn’t be blaming Aidan for not telling him, he should be blaming himself for not following Aidan’s advice and not paying hid to his warning about Luke. Aidan told him this would happen, he just didn’t listen. 

He allows himself to relax in Aidan’s arms, taking what comfort he can from the familiar embrace. He can feel is anger dissipating quickly, possibly helped a lot by the alcohol in his system and Aidan’s smell surrounding him. Not realizing what he’s doing, he latches his arms around the Irishman’s waist and buries his face deeper in the chest he’s pressed against, inhaling deeply. 

The arms around his back tighten and his own do the same. They hug a lot but this is the first time they are completely engulfed in each other. He likes it here, in Aidan’s arms, safe from Luke and Orlando. Feeling the uncontrollable need to kiss Aidan he lifts his face from his place against the strong chest and presses his nose against the neck above. His sobs have subsided to sniffs, but he can feel his eyes are still wet. Aidan, sensing his movements, cranes his neck to look down at him, a soft smile on his face. He returns the smile and reaches with his mouth to kiss Aidan’s stubbed chin. Aidan seems to be considering his options, but after a few seconds, he kisses back, meeting his lips. There’s some hesitance at first but slowly, Aidan seems to let go as he begins to kiss him back with fervent enthusiasm.

They kiss for a few minutes, holding unto each other, until Aidan breaks apart.

“Dean?” Aidan asks and he seeks the other lips with his, desperate for more contact. Aidan pulls away.

“Dean, stop for a second,” Aidan says and he pulls back, afraid to look unto the Irishman’s eyes and find rejection in them. He finds only concern.

“I think you should go to bed,” Aidan suggests and he feels a pang of embarrassment. Aidan is sending him off to sleep, as if he were no more than a kid.

“Why?” he asks defiantly.

“Because, my gorgeous kiwi, you are drunk, and I would hate myself if I took advantage of you while in this state.”

“But…I’m not drunk,” he weakly protests, knowing full well he’s not being convincing at all.

“You are…and don’t say you aren’t,” Aidan says preventing him from protesting, “…but I’m not going leave you alone, ok? I’m going to stay and sleep on the couch.”

He stares at Aidan defiantly for a few moments but Aidan is unrelenting, so he agrees half heartedly to be put to bed, Aidan guiding him by the arm towards his bedroom and turning on the lights as they enter. 

“I don’t want to go to bed yet…why don’t we drink some more?” he asks in a failed attempt at continuing drinking.

“Oh no, not gonna happen tonight,” Aidan says in disapproval, as he searches around for something unknown. “Tonight you are going to sleep nice and tight, ok?”

He pouts as he leans on the door frame, acutely aware of how far away everything looks.

“But…I’m not sleepy…,” he says in a small voice.

“Yes you are, and you are getting into bed…” Aidan says, drifting off as he continues to look for the unknown item now on his drawer, “and…we’ll talk in the morning. Aha! Found it.”

Aidan’s triumph apparently was finding his pajamas, which he doesn’t want to put on. He wants to talk now, and drink some more if possible.

“Can’t we just…go back to the living room and have another drink?” he asks tentatively.

“Um…nope,” Aidan declines. “You think it’s a great idea now, but you’ll realize it’s not… you know, once you are sober,” Aidan explains and he can definitely see sense in his words.

“I’m not…ok,” he says in defeat.

Aidan smiles at him, holding his pj’s in one hand and holding his other hand out for him to take. He smiles in return and with a bit of hesitance, he takes it and walks closer to the brunette.

“Now…is this your pj’s?” Aidan asks and he giggles, nodding. “Good, now we just have to…put them on you.”

“Yep,” he says, nodding again and smiling, “but I’m too drunk to put them on myself…so I’ll need hepl…help,” he corrects himself as he stumbles on words; his speech already a little slurped.

“Oh, really?” Aidan says in a teasing tone.

\--------------------

Dean smiles at him, eyes a little out of focus as he leans closer and puts his weight against him.

“Wow, Dean, you really can’t hold your liquor,” he teases and Dean giggles. At least Dean’s a happy, mellow drunk, and seems to have forgiven him… for now.

He puts and arm around Dean’s waist to hold him in place when the blond staggers on his feet.

“We better put you to bed,” he suggests, but Dean turns to him and latches his arms around his neck, pulling his face close. He’s about to lean closer, to capture those tempting lips when there’s a knock on the door. He pulls away, pushing Dean gently towards the bed and motioning for him to sit on it and begin putting his pajamas while he goes to answer the door.

He walks down the small hallway and to the door, wondering who could be this late but having a slight idea. And as he opens the door, he’s not even surprised to find Luke standing there, looking smug as always.

“Aidan? What a surprise,” Luke says in an amused way that bothers him to no end.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, letting out all his irritation through his voice.

“What do you mean by that? I came to see my boyfriend, of course.”

“Your…don’t you mean your ex-boyfriend?”

“Ah, c’mon, it was just a fight” Luke brushes him off, “I just need to talk to him a bit and it’ll all be ok.”

The confidence in Luke’s tone sends a pang of uncertainty to his stomach, mostly because he believes him. Luke has a way with words and can be very persuasive -or insistent more likely- when he wants something, and Dean being in such a vulnerable state will provide an advantage on Luke’s side. But he is here, and he won’t let that happen.

“Fuck off, Luke! He doesn’t want to see you,” he warns and places both hands on each side of the door, preventing Luke’s entry.

“Didn’t know Dean got a guardian dog,” Luke teases, so he decides to play Luke’s game.

“Yes, he did, and I bite,” 

“C’mon Aidan, I don’t want problems with you,” Luke says smirking.

“Well, then I suggest you go back from where you came from,” he replies, standing his ground, still holding the door frames.

“Wow, you really want to bang him, don’t you? Or are you in love with him?” Luke teases.

“That is none of your business,” he replies, irritation staining his voice.

“Well, I beg to differ, since it's my boyfriend in …”

“Get out of here, Luke” he snaps, cutting him in and Luke seems to get the idea, for he stays silent for a few moments wearing a smirk on his face, and then walks away. He waits till he can hear him walking down the stairs before closing the door.

A creeping feeling of dread fills as he thinks of Luke’s words. What if he comes back here when he’s not around? What if he’s right and Dean falls back into his deceitful clutches? Isn’t that why Dean had to leave New Zealand, because he couldn’t end his relationship with his former boyfriend?

\-------------------------------

He can hear Aidan and Luke arguing for a short while before the door closes and Aidan’s footsteps come near. He has put on his pajamas all by himself and is now sitting on the edge of his bed when Aidan appears. His mind is a little bit foggy from the buzz, but he heard the argument pretty damn well.

“Alright, I think it’s time for you to go to sleep,” Aidan says in a sweet tone, smiling at him, and it makes him feel like a child again, so he smiles back at the brunette; the argument forgotten by now.

“Ok,” he agrees and lets himself be guided towards the bed, where Aidan is holding the bedcovers back so he can lie under them, then gently pulls them over his frame, to cover him completely.

“There, nice and cozy,” Aidan says and he looks up at the man from where he’s lying. Aidan leans down and places a small kiss on his forehead and he can feel himself blushing, although, it could be the vodka. 

Aidan makes to leave the room but he prevents him from doing so by holding the hem of his jacket. The Irishman looks at him in confusion, waiting for him to say something.

“Are you leaving?” he asks in a small voice and Aidan smiles at him.

“Of course not, I’m sleeping in your couch…if I may?” Aidan asks a little bit insecure and he shakes his head in denial. “I can’t sleep in your couch?”

“That couch is really uncomfortable to sleep on…and the living room is cold at night,” he explains and Aidan squints.

“So…what are you saying?” Aidan asks with a small smirk on his lips.

“Sleep here with me?” he asks shyly, smiling sheepishly.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Aidan asks, smiling sheepishly too.

“Yeah…cause, what if I need you in the middle of the night and you are all the way to the living room?”

“Fair point,” Aidan agrees nodding and crossing his arms over his chest.

He scoots over to the side of the wall to leave enough room for Aidan who smiles again and takes off his jacket and shoes tossing them carelessly on the floor, then climbs on the bed. He waits half-sitting for Aidan to accommodate and when the brunette is lying completely on his back, he lies down, and puts a hesitant arm over Aidan’s stomach. Aidan looks sideways at him, grinning, and pulls his own arm around his shoulders, bringing him close so he lies happily on the crook of Aidan’s arm, drawing small circles on the Irishman’s firm stomach

They stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s closeness and Aidan starts caressing his hair.

“What did Luke want?” he asks and Aidan seems to get tense under him.

“To talk to you…but I sent him away,” Aidan says wearily.

“Good,” he simply says and continues to caress Aidan’s stomach and it’s the last thing he remembers before drifting into a deep, peaceful sleep.

\--------------------

When he wakes up, it takes a moment to take in his surroundings and realize where he is. He looks down at Dean and smiles at the sight. It’s so surreal having Dean right beside him, in his arms, soundly asleep, as he caresses soft strands of hair. He remembers the morning he woke up with the blond in his arms, pretty much in the same position they are now, but under very different circumstances. 

He leans down and plants a soft kiss on the soft hair, then, carefully to no wake Dean, he removes his arm from under Dean, while gently sitting up. Dean lets out a small sound of disapproval at being moved and a small frown forms on his brow, but other than that, there’s no more reaction and the kiwi continues soundly asleep. He hates to have to leave the bed and Dean’s side but his bladder is about to burst.

Once he relives himself, he considers the idea of going back to bed but there’s also the idea of making breakfast for the sleeping cutie. He goes for the second one but not before going to the bedroom and having one last glace over Dean. The sunlight has sneaked in through the curtains and has settled over Dean, giving his golden strands a reddish color. 

“I love you, Dean,” he whispers and leaves the room. 

_Shit,_ he curses internally for it is the first time he’s actually admitted it out loud. He can’t recall ever feeling this way before and the thought scares him, but it’s also very exciting, more so now that Dean and Luke are through.

Twenty minutes later and with not much effort he manages to create a perfect breakfast. Dean had eggs in his freezer and some bread but that was about it. He made the eggs anyway and toasts, but ended up burning the toasts and the eggs turned out disgusting so he chucked everything and left the apartment to get some decent breakfast. 

Once back, he placed all the bought items in two plates and the coffee in mugs and arranged the tray with everything else they might need. It ended up looking amazing.  
The tray is filled with the eggs, toast and some sweets he bought at the bakery two blocks from Dean’s apartment, and two sausages each. He even put a flower beside Dean’s plate that he stole from someone’s garden on his way back. He takes it to the bedroom and places it gently on the nightstand, then walks towards the foot of the bed to open the blue curtains and let all the sunshine that so clearly wants to pour over the sleeping kiwi in. 

“Dean?” he says and gently shakes the blonds’ shoulder. “C’mon sunshine, it’s time to wake up.” Dean only grunts something in response and flips unto his stomach, covering his face with an arm.

“Deannie…I made breakfast and I’m sure you are hungry so wake up,” he says in a teasing manner and ruffles the golden hair.

“m’sleep…” comes the muffled response causing him to chuckle.

“No you’re not, those are far too eloquent words for a sleeping person,” he teases and wonders _is Dean ticklish_?

Reaching with his hand to Dean’s side closest to him, he puts his wondering to the test. The answer is concluding for Dean squirms and twists his body away from his hand, squealing dramatically the moment he starts tickling.

“Aidan!” Dean exclaims exasperatedly and flips unto his back to face him. An offended expression on his cute face that makes him burst out laughing.

“Don’t be so overdramatic, it was just some tickling…and breakfast’s ready so sit up,” he practically orders.

“I’m too ticklish. You are forbidden to try that again,” Dean mumbles as he rubs his eyes with his small fists, “but I’ll try your breakfast.”

He smiles at Dean’s adorableness; his voice sounding more nasal in the morning and a little bit raspy.

“How are you feeling? No need to rush to the toilet?” he jokes and Dean tries to send him a murderous look that only comes out as a cute pout.

“No…but everything spins a little,” Dean confesses after he got no reaction but a smile from him.

“Well…you had three glasses,” he says matter-of-factly and Dean groans in shame.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Dean asks while sitting up slowly and yawning softly.

“I tried several times, but you were really angry and holding a bottle,” he says and makes a terrified face, “you looked pretty scary.”

Dean lets out a chuckle and looks at him suspiciously. “I doubt that.”

“Well…yeah you didn’t. You looked more like an upset puppy, actually,” he teases and Dean giggles but shoots him an upset look either way.

“I’m not a puppy,” Dean says in his defense but it’s futile. He thinks Dean is a cute little puppy and there’s nothing the kiwi can do to make him change his mind.

“Yeah you are…and you should be thanking me, at least I prevented you from drinking a fourth glass,” he says while taking the tray form the night stand and placing it front of Dean then sits down at the foot of the bed, facing him.

“Thank you and thanks for the breakfast. It looks amazing. Did you make it?” Dean asks in amazement. 

“Um…yeah,” he lies in a very unconvincing tone and Dean only smirks knowingly at him.

“Is this for me?” Dean asks shyly as he takes the flower from beside his plate.

“Yes…” he replies, also shyly. He’d sort of regretted for a second putting the stupid flower there, but seeing that dimpled, happy smile on the blonds’ face erases any trace of it.

“Thank you…it’s beautiful,” Dean says as he inspects it and then places it carefully on his night stand before smiling at him again.

“Alright, it’s too early for such corniness so let’s eat this breakfast, ok?”

Dean giggles and nods, then takes a forkful of eggs and sausage to his mouth.

“It’s delicious; you’ve really improved your cooking skills,” Dean says in a teasing manner.

“You sound so surprised.”

They eat their delicious breakfast and continue to chat and tease each other, and when they finish, Aidan takes the tray to the kitchen to wash the dishes and tell Dean to take a shower if he wants while he’s at it. 

He really likes it here in Dean’s apartment, he feels really comfortable…a little bit too much, maybe.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean is freshly showered and looking gorgeous as always, but a little bit troubled as he studies the floor on the kitchen. 

“Are you ok?” he asks and Dean looks up at him.

\--------------------

Aidan looks worried as he looks at him.

“Um…yeah, I just…don’t want to see Orlando,” he says and lowers his gaze again. Aidan sighs and places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Dean…I’m sorry…I…I know what Luke did hurt you a lot…he is an asshole, ok?” Aidan says in a soft tone, trying to sooth him, apparently, “…and he’s not worth your suffering, neither is Orlando.”

“I don’t care about Luke, you know?” he confesses in defeat, “You were right, with what you said last night… I just accepted to be his boyfriend because I couldn’t say no to him. I don’t really feel anything for him,” he says in a small voice, looking down ashamed of himself. “I’m sorry Aid. You did warn me and I didn’t listen. It’s wrong of me to blame you for not telling me this time.”

“Well…it’s still my fault somehow. I stupidly believed that I could talk Luke into telling you himself…and then Orlando, but you found out before I could manage that,” Aidan says sheepishly.

He giggles a little, even though it’s not really funny, “Yeah.” 

Aidan smiles at Dean but then turns serious, “And Dean, you shouldn’t feel bad about any of this, they should. Remember that when you see Orlando today, ok?”

“Ok,” he says and nods.

“And I’m seriously sorry for making you go through that,” Aidan apologizes again.

“I know, but you shouldn’t…it wasn’t your fault,” he says and smiles reassuringly and Aidan smiles back.

“So…are we good?” Aidan asks hesitant, “You and me, I mean.”

“Yes, we are good,” he says and nods energetically.

“Well that’s a relief,” Aidan sighs. “You’ve become pretty important to me Dean O’Gorman.”

He can only smile bashfully at Aidan’s words.

“Why are you so good to me?” he asks softly, mostly to himself than Aidan, but loud enough for the brunette to hear him.

“Because I…I care about you,” Aidan says in a serious tone and he looks up at those chocolate eyes he’s become so fond of and his heart skips a beat. They speak of affection greater than friendship, but he doesn’t dare to hope, at least not yet.


	17. Chapter seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...I got a little bit carried away.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“You gonna to be ok?” Aidan asks and he nods in reply. 

“Thank you,” he thanks for like the tenth time.

“You’re welcome,” Aidan says smiling reassuringly. “Oh, and just text me if you need anything, even if it is for me to come and get you, ok?”

“Ok…and thanks again,” he says and Aidan smirks.

“And again…you are welcome,” Aidan says in his ridiculously sexy deep voice, leering at him teasingly. He chuckles and shakes his head.

“Bye,” he says and waves at Aidan as he walks towards the café.

“Dean!” Aidan calls, leaning over to talk to him through the passenger window, right when he’s about to enter the café and he turns around to face him.

“Yeah?” he asks smiling.

“I was thinking that maybe… we could hang out later? I could come over…unless you have to work early tomorrow or downright don’t want to hang out…you can tell me if you don’t want to, you know?” Aidan blurts out, sounding slightly nervous, so he smiles brightly and nods to reassure the brunette that he indeed wants to. He really does want to.

“Yes! I want to…and no, I don’t have to work early…it’s my day off actually,” he says happily and the small frown Aidan was sporting disappears instantly to be replaced by a huge grin.

“Really? Great!” Aidan exclaims excitedly. 

“Yeah,” he mimics Aidan’s excitement. He knows this is only a hang out between friends, but still, it feels like something more.

“I’ll call you…or text you…or you know, let me know when you get out and I can pick you up,” Aidan says and he smiles warmly at him. He’s acting like an overly excited puppy…though he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t as excited himself. 

“Ok, I’ll let you know,” he says and waves again. “Bye Aidan.”

“Bye. Take care.”

“You too,” he says and waits for Aidan to drive away, before entering the café.

Upon entering, he looks straight at the counter and sighs in relief when he can’t see Orlando. 

At least he arrived first. 

His suspicion turns out wrong when he enters the changing room. Orlando is already there, sitting on the couch, roaming through his phone and looks up when he closes the door.

“Dean…hi,” Orlando greets awkwardly and puts his phone away as he stands. He’s already dressed in work clothes and seems to have been waiting for him. They still have at least ten minutes to talk before their shift starts.

“Hi,” he greets back in a small voice and looks down at the floor. This situation is in extreme uncomfortable and embarrassing, but he must remember, like Aidan told him; it’s not himself who should be ashamed, it’s them, so he just has to listen to what Orlando has to say and keep his cool...if he can.

“Look, Dean…I wanted to talk to you about what happened, and sort of…explain.” Orlando says and motions for him to sit down on the couch, which he does. 

“Well, we have to sometime,” he says in a nervous voice and mentally kicks himself, but Orlando doesn’t seem to notice.

“Dean…we, Luke and I…we never meant for you to find out about us the way you did,” Orlando says, speaking calmly and with confidence in his tone, “it must have been really hard for you…to see me there. Truth is I’ve wanted to tell you since Luke told me you two were boyfriends. Actually I wanted to tell you from the beginning…when we first met.”

“Oh…” is all he can say and waits for Orlando to continue.

“Dean, I just want you to know that…there’s nothing going on between us…nothing serious, anyway.” Orlando places a - supposedly- comforting hand on his knee and looks at his straight in the eyes. “You don’t have to break up with him over this.” 

He lowers his gaze to the floor, but listens intently; he really wants this whole thing to end.

“Dean?” Orlando asks after a few seconds and he looks up to meet the man’s gaze.

“What?” he asks in confusion. Is he supposed to say something?

“I’m apologizing…were you even listening to me?” Orlando says and there’s a small trace of irritation in his voice that makes him chuckle. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing just…go on,” he says and stares at his hands and moves his knee a little, trying to shake Orlando’s hand off. Orlando moves his invasive hand and takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I know we are not _friends_ … but, I still should have told you…and I’m sorry. I hope this doesn’t get in the way of you and me being possible friends in the future,” Orlando says and it seems he’s done with his apology, but he wants to know how they became…acquaintances.

“How…how did you two meet anyway?” he asks tentatively. Orlando seems to be thinking about what to answer for a while.

“Oh…um…Luke came by one day…one of your days off. We got to talk a little bit and exchanged phone number. You two weren’t really together back then, though.” Orlando replies in a defensive tone. He nods in acknowledgement. If he thinks about it, is not that bad. The thing is that Orlando never said anything. He could have spared him a lot of trouble if he had just told him he was having sex with Luke. He would have had a more than good reason to decline Luke’s offer that day, and none of this would have happened. 

“You could have told me, you know? I would have been ok with it,” he says and Orlando lifts his eyebrows then looks down at floor, “…I just wouldn’t have become his boyfriend,” he says and laughs nervously.

“I wanted to tell you…it was Luke who didn’t want me to. He wanted to continue…uh…seeing you,” Orlando says in a pointed way and it definitely sounds like he softened what Luke said about him. 

He smirks. He was only just another fuck for Luke. 

_How could I be so stupid?_ he thinks. Although…he’s made bad choices in the past, he shouldn’t be so surprised.

“So…do you accept my apologies?” Orlando asks in a sort of shy way and smiles at him. It going to take some time for him to feel comfortable around Orlando, and a lot more to trust him again, but they can make it work. Maybe they won’t be friends, but they can still have a good relationship.

“Yeah…let’s just leave this whole stupid thing behind and let’s not talk about Luke anymore,” he says smiling. Orlando frowns at him.

“Why? You are going to break up with him?” Orlando asks in disbelief.

“Well…yes” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, for it _is_ the most obvious thing in the world. 

Ok, maybe is not that obvious, he should be one to know. But he’s learning, and this time things were very different. He was never in love with Luke in the first place, unlike with Craig, so in love that he was willing to go through anything just for the sake of being with the man he loved, even if that meant to share him with other people.

“Dean, you don’t have to do that…really. I’ll get out of your way…don’t just toss your relationship over something so insignificant.”

He has to chuckle again and Orlando is confused.

“You know…let’s just not talk about this anymore…we have to work anyway,” he says and stands up, taking off his jacket, leaving no place for Orlando to continue talking about Luke. Orlando stands up and puts on his apron and then helps Dean do the same. They start their shift as usual and with ease. They’ve talked things through and that’s done, so Dean doesn’t have to worry about work being unbearable anymore.

It wouldn’t have been so easy to let things go so fast were he in fact in love with Luke, but as he serves coffee and chats with Orlando here and there, he can only think about one person. Aidan.

His shift is over around six and he hurries to change unto his clothes then checks his phone for any messages form Aidan. There are two.

_Remember, it’s Orlando who should feel bad, not you._

_What time do you get out? Let me know ;)_.

He smiles at both then texts back. 

_My shift ended just about now. I can wait for you if you want, but if you can’t come right now, no worries, I’ll wait home_.

He puts on his jacket and almost instantly there’s a reply.

_Oh…I can’t go right now…but I’ll be at your place around eight…sounds alright?_

He smiles at the text, even though he’s a little disappointed Aidan can’t come pick him up, but that’s ok. He gets to hang out with his friend tonight and there’s no Luke to get in the middle.

He texts Aidan _it definitely sounds ok_ , then hurries back home for he wants to clean his apartment a little bit and get a shower before Aidan gets there. He also needs to talk to Jared and tell him about everything that’s been going on these past days.

He gets home and thankfully, there not much to do but clean a little bit of dust here and there, nothing that takes longer than a few minutes. He also takes a few minutes to change his bed sheets just because. Twenty minutes later, he’s freshly showered, dressed in clean clothes and talking to Jared about recent events.

“Are you serious?” Jared asks in disbelief when he tells him about the whole Luke-Orlando thing and how he found out about them.

“Very much,” he says nodding.

“And Aidan knew and didn’t tell you,” Jared repeats what he said earlier, so he nods again.

“But he did warn me, you know?” he says in Aidan’s defense, for Jared is now frowning and probably thinking bad things about Aidan. He doesn’t want Jared to think bad things about Aidan, “and he tried to convince Luke to tell me himself…but Luke just didn’t give a shit.”

“He still should have told you. You don’t keep things like that from friends, even if the truth might hurt them a little bit. If it’s for their best then it has to be done,” Jared states and he has to agree with him. All those years he was with Craig, Jared never once kept a thing to himself and just told him everything he needed to hear, but of course, he ignored him. 

_I’m such an idiot. I don’t deserve such good friends,_ he chastises himself, for he does not learn from past mistakes, apparently.

“I…I don’t want you to be angry at Aidan. You know this was my entire fault,” he says in a pleading tone and Jared nods.

“Well…it is kind of hard to make you understand,” Jared teases and he huffs in agreement for it is oh so very true. “You probably wouldn’t have done anything if he had told you, anyway.”

“Yeah…maybe,” he sulks.

“So Luke’s out of the picture...” Jared says in a meaningful way and lifting his eyebrows.

“Yep.”

“And Aidan’s coming over to your apartment tonight…” Jared states and he squints.

“Yeah…”

“You know what this means, right?” Jared asks and then sighs. “Tell me you know what this means, Dean.”

“Jared…” he says, sighing in defeat and Jared grunts in frustration.

“I don’t want to hear it Dean. Aidan likes you. Aidan cares about you. What more is there to say? Oh, yeah. You are both single.”

“I don’t want to rush things!” he blurts out. “Aidan and I are friends…and I want it to stay that way. I don’t want to risk his friendship…” he ends in a softer tone. 

“But he clearly wants more,” Jared argues, “and don’t tell me you don’t like him more than a friend cause I know you Dean, you are probably head over heels in love with him already.”

“I’m not head over heels in love with Aidan…” he says weakly feeling a bit flustered. _I’m not, right?_

“But you care about him,” Jared says in a serious tone and he nods in response. 

“I don’t want to lose him,” he says softly. The last thing he wants is to lose Aidan over his stupid infatuation-let’s call it that- with the Irishman, and the idea terrifies him.

“Dean, I’m not telling you to rush things…just…don’t push him away. Don’t push happiness away. He could be the one you need to achieve it,” Jared practically begs and he sits there thinking, and just when he’s about to answer, they get interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Is that him?” Jared asks and he stands up to open the door.

“Most likely,” he says and it is in fact Aidan on the other side of the door, smiling sheepishly. He smiles back. Any trace of doubt and trouble leaves him immediately as he looks into those chocolate eyes. He is in fact in love with Aidan, he’d just been too afraid to acknowledge it before.

Aidan looks to have recently trimmed his beard. He’s wearing a green plaid shirt and his black leather jacket. His hair looks to have been carefully messed up, and it looks like product was applied to it. He looks gorgeous and he can feel a warm tingling feeling in his stomach.

“Hi,”

“Hi,” Aidan greets back and moves forward to wrap an arm around him in a half hug which he returns happily.

“Come in,” he says and moves to the side so Aidan can come in. He really can’t stop smiling.

“I…uh, brought something to drink,” Aidan says as he lifts the beer he’s brought with him. “And I was thinking we could order take out?”

“Sounds great,” he replies and Aidan sets the beers on the coffee table, right beside his laptop where Jared’s listening intently. Aidan grins happily when he spots Jared.

“Hey, Jared!” Aidan greets excitedly and sits down on the same spot he was sitting just moments ago. 

“Aidan, it’s great to see you again.” 

“You too, I was beginning to think Dean didn’t want us to talk again,” Aidan says and flashes him a cheeky grin.

“I’ve considered it,” he jokes as he sits down beside Aidan, “you two are a bit dangerous together.”

They chat for a few moments more and to his utter horror, Jared, with an amazing lack of tact, asks for Aidan’s phone number, claiming they’ve got loads to talk about. Aidan agrees too eagerly to his liking and they both ignore his whining about how they’re just going to talk about him behind his back and that’s not what friend’s do.

“So have fun you two, and Dean…” Jared says and fixes him a severe glare through the screen, “don’t get too drunk.”

“Ugh…shut up,” he sighs, covering his face.

“Don’t worry, I’ll watch his alcohol intake,” Aidan chirps in and he groans in frustration. They continue to talk about him as if he were nothing but a child.

“Yeah, funny,” he says halfheartedly, “and bye Jared, hug Batman and Ben for me, ok? 

“Will do. Take care,” Jared says waving, “both of you.”

“Take care yourself,” Aidan says waving back and smiling.

“Bye,” he says and ends the call.

\-------------------

He really likes Jared and it’s great now that he’s got his number, maybe he can get some much useful advice in relation to Dean. He’s set his mind now, though he’s going to be really patient about it, he’s going to let his intention known to Dean and hopefully, woo him.

“Sorry about that. I hope he didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Dean says smiling bashfully.

“Who?” he asks confused.

“Jared…” Dean says sounding insecure, “him asking for your phone number.”

“Oh…no, not at all,” he says dismissively. “Why would I be uncomfortable?”

“I…don’t know,” Dean says and looks at his hands.

“He’s your best friend, and since I’m your new friend, I really want to be in good terms with Jared,” he says, smiling reassuringly, “unless…it makes _you_ uncomfortable…”

Dean looks up at him and seems to be considering it for a second, then smiles good-naturedly. “No. I like it that you guy gets along.”

“Great then…so, let’s drink up,” he says and takes two beer bottles from the pack. “Do you have an opener?”

“Oh, yes,” Dean says and stands up quickly to retrieve it from the kitchen, then comes back, and no, his eyes definitely didn’t lingered longer than necessary in the kiwi’s bum as he walked to the kitchen, not at all.

“Thanks,” he says as he takes the offered item and opens the two bottles, then hands Dean one of them. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

They both take a few gulps from their bottle and put them down. A sort of uncomfortable moment of silence follows until he clears his throat to speak.

“Dean, I’ve been meaning to tell you that…even though the situation wasn’t ideal, and I’m very sorry you got to go through that…I’m really glad that you aren’t seeing Luke anymore.”

Dean stares at him with curiosity and lets a small smile grace his lips.

“Luke was not good for you…and you deserve so much better,” he says meaningfully.

Dean’s smile falters at that. “Thank you…for saying those things…but I just…was thinking that…what if I did?”

He frowns a little at that. “What if you did what?”

Dean seems uncomfortable and stares at the bottle in his hands, then shrugs. “…deserve it…what happened with Luke.”

“How can you say that?” he asks in disbelief and sets his bottle down on the table, then turns to face Dean with a serious expression on his face.

“Don’t know, just...what if I don’t deserve better,” Dean says sullenly, “I mean… it’s not the first time it happens.”

“Dean…you can’t base your worth over things that happened to you…things you didn’t have any fault in,” he says as he gently places his hand on Dean’s chin and makes him face him. “Luke and your ex are just dumb idiots who couldn’t see how great you really are…” he says, letting feelings for Dean course through this voice. Dean’s eyes are searching, trying to decipher if this is a lie. “Dean…you are amazing.”

“Aidan…” Dean seems ready to argue but he cuts him in.

“You are kind, you are beautiful, and adorable…you are just…” he says while still holding Dean’s chin in his hand and looking deeply into those blue, expressive pools.  
Unconsciously, he leans forward, and Dean continues to look back at him, without moving away, so he takes this opportunity and places his lips gently over Dean’s plump, inviting ones. 

They kiss for a few minutes, slowly. Dean is hesitant at first but returns the kiss after a few seconds. His hand roams gently from Dean’s face and lands on the blond locks. It still amazes him how soft Dean’s hair is. He gently grabs the back of the kiwi’s head, to bring them closer and deepen the kiss.  
Dean whimpers and pulls away, but not all the way. He lets him, with a disappointed sigh, but their foreheads are touching now and Dean makes no move to get away, and he takes a deep breath.

“Aidan…” Dean says and there’s something in his tone that he doesn’t like. 

“Dean, please…don’t push me away,” he says and clings to the blond.

“I’m not,” Dean replies softly, “I just…”

“Dean,” he says and moves away from the blond a little to be able to look him straight in the eyes. “I’m falling in love with you,” he blurts out, unable to contain himself any longer.  
Dean stares at him, a little in shock, his blue eyes wide with surprise.

“You don’t have to say anything…I just needed you to know,” he says quickly and stares down at his lap. “I’ve felt this way for a while now.” He looks back at Dean who continues staring with surprise. “…but I don’t want to put any pressure on you, Dean…I…” 

“Aidan…” Dean says and stops, staring down for a mild second, the looks up again. He seems to be thinking hard on what to say, and he doesn’t want to pressure him, so he lets him say what he needs to say, no interruptions this time. “I…think I feel the same,” Dean says finally and looks at him intently, a hopeful expression on his face.

His heart stops for a second, or beats faster than ever before, he doesn’t know, but the words Dean just said have a huge impact on him. He had imagined this moment before, but there was always something off. Luke. Now, there’s no Luke to worry about, Dean is single again and he just about said the most beautiful words he’s ever heard. Dean feels the same.

“You do?” he asks in disbelief. Dean blushes furiously and looks away again, but there’s a bashful smile on his lips and his heart flutters again. Warmth spreads through his stomach and the biggest smile splits his lips. Dean nods softly and steals a brief glance his way.

“I …I’ve felt this way for a while too,” Dean confesses and his hears swells with joy. “But, I’m scared.”

“Scared?” he asks in confusion. He frowns a little and searches Dean’s eyes.

Dean nods and looks straight at him, “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Lose me?” he asks confused again. “Why would you lose me?”

“If something goes wrong…I don’t want to lose you as a friend…I don’t want to risk our friendship,” Dean says somberly.

“Dean…you are not going to lose me, ok?” he states firmly, grabbing Dean’s shoulders and forcing him to face him.

Dean smiles tentatively. “You promise?”

“I promise,” he says, looking intently at Dean. “But like said…I don’t want to pressure you…I…I’m willing to wait as long as necessary. And if you decide afterwards that you want us to be just friends…then I’ll be happy to be your friend.”

Dean seems to lighten and smiles openly. What happens next surprises him pleasantly. Dean practically throws himself at him, latching his arms around his neck and plants a wet and adorably clumsy kiss in his mouth that make their teeth clash. He chuckles against Dean’s mouth and Dean pulls back a little.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says and smiles sheepishly. He caresses the blonds’ face and smiles warmly; his other hand at Dean’s waist, then leans forward to plant a soft kiss on Dean’s nose.

“You are so gorgeous, Dean,” he says and puts both his hands on Dean’ waist and pulls him a little closer.

“m’not,” Dean replies shyly, blushing slightly. “You are.”

It’s his turn to become shy and he lets out a nervous laugh. “Let’s say we both are, ok?” he jokes and Dean giggles and nods.

“I don’t want us to be just friends…” Dean says suddenly. He grins happily at that.

“Me neither. But we can take things slow if you want.”

Dean stares at him for a second then leans forward to kiss him again eagerly.

“Or not,” he jokes when he’s able to breathe again. 

Dean doesn’t smile; he leans back a little bit and looks at him deeply. Dean wants this, and he’s going to comply.

“Just…promise me we’ll still be friends if it doesn’t work out,” Dean says with a strained voice and with watery eyes. He hugs Dean tightly for several minutes, caressing his back reassuringly while the blond sniffs and clings to him.

He lets go and pulls back a little. “I promise, Dean. I’ll be your friend no matter what.” 

Dean nods and smiles relieved then, and then his expression turns serious. 

“I love you, Aidan,” the blond in his arms says with such emotion in his voice that he feels a knot in his throat and a tingling in his stomach. His eyes become a little watery too and he tightens his arms around the blond, hugging him again.

It might be too soon to be declaring their love for each other, but truth is, he can’t doubt for even a second what he feels about Dean. It’s been way too long since he’s felt more than attraction towards another, and never before has he felt so strongly about anyone, and Dean…? He wants to believe him… and he will, with all his might. And if he gets hurt in the end, it’ll be worth it.

They continue to kiss. It’s gentle and sweet and everything Dean is. His soft sweet and traced with after shave scent mixed with his fruity shampoo is enticing. They’ve kissed before, yeah, but now it’s the first time when it doesn’t feel wrong, when there’s nobody in their way and they are totally free to kiss as much as they want…and there’s no Luke watching them. 

_Stop thinking about Luke, dumbass!_ , he mentally slaps himself.

Their kiss turns more urgent and he instinctively leans forward, making Dean lean back against the arm of the couch, so he’s half lying on top of the kiwi. Dean’s hands travel from his neck up to his hair, threading fingers through his curls making him grunt in pleasure. He really likes what Dean’s doing. Their tongues caress each other, and explore the other’s mouth with great curiosity. He moves away from that delicious mouth and places an open mouthed kiss on a dimpled cheek, then trails down with smaller kisses towards a lightly stubbly jaw, then farther to nip at Dean’s soft neck. He can hear Dean’s breathing picking up and a moan escapes past the blond’s lips at the action and he takes it as cue to continue further down till he’s kissing a collarbone. Dean continues to run his hands through his hair, guiding him closer. 

“Aid…Aid,” Dean moans and he looks up and meets Dean’s gaze. There’s a silent plea in those eyes, and from what he can feel against his hip, it definitely means Dean wants to take things further. “I want you, Aidan,” Dean pants, confirming his thoughts and he can feel butterflies in his stomach. 

“I want you too,” he says in a husky voice and kisses Dean again on the lips. His hands grabs Dean firmly by the hips and after taking a moment to enjoy the softness of the skin there, pulls the kiwi flush against him, their erections rubbing against each other at the action, making both moan loudly.

He stands up suddenly, holding a hand out for Dean to take, who takes it quickly. He leads Dean into the bedroom and when they are standing beside the bed, he turns to face the blond, who looks expectantly back at him and slowly, but very determined, starts taking his clothes off.

Amazed by this action, he stares agape, but soon follows suit, taking his jacket off while Dean takes off his cute striped sweater. His hair has grown a bit since he met him and it looks all wild and fluffy when the sweater comes off. Their shirts follow, leaving them both half naked. 

They stand for a few moments, admiring each other in the dim light coming from the hallway. This is the first time they get to do this, admire each other, and he silently hopes they get to do a lot more tonight.

Dean is cute all over, all the way from his golden curls, down his cute shoulders, to his narrow hips, - that he’s seen so far – and, Oh God, his tummy. He has seriously developed a kink he had no idea about. It’s not that Dean’s fat, by any means, but his tummy is somewhat…distended, but only slightly, and he loves it; it is furred with lovely, dark blond hair traveling from there, and even farther south, up to his chest, protecting smooth, delicate skin. He wants to touch the blond kiwi in front, but Dean beats him to it when he places a hand over his shoulder and slowly slides it down over his arm to stop on his left bicep. He is quite proud of his biceps and makes a show of flexing his arms to make the muscles look bigger.

“Like what you see?” he teases, making Dean blush and smile bashfully, but he smiles anyway.

“Very much,” Dean huffs and smiles shyly.

“Come here,” he says and places both hands over Dean’s hips and gently, pulls him closer. Dean continues to run his small hands over his biceps while he plays with the hem of Dean’s tight jeans, considering for a second to slide his fingers under it, but decides against it and slides them over the fabric covering the blonds’ round, squishy, and fleshy bum. He can only imagine how soft the skin must be there.

“Is this too much?” he whispers and Dean, who has moved his little hands now to his chest and is playing with the hair there, shakes his head and looks up at him with a tiny, shy smile. They both lean at the same time, to bump their lips together and kiss deeply and eagerly. His hands, gently placed over Dean’s bum before, now grab all the flesh they can, bringing Dean flush against him in the process and eliciting a moan from the blond as their clothed erections press against each other.

“Aid…” Dean moans and sucks in a shuddering breath, then latches his arms around his middle, tracing the skin on his back with his fingertips, sending shivers down his spine.

“Dean…” he tightens his arms around Dean, leaving his bum area to wrap around the small of the blonds’ back, and taking in a deep breath, inhaling the kiwi’s scent.

He walks a few paces back till his legs hit the foot of the bed and carefully sits down, taking Dean with him, and Dean, taking the cue, spreads his legs on each side of him, straddling his lap.

“Are you sure you want to this?” he takes Dean by his waist. “Cause we can wait if you want.” He wants to make sure this is what Dean wants. Dean looks at him deeply and nods.

“I want this…and I don’t to wait,” Dean emphasizes with an impatient kiss that leaves him breathless and hungry for more. It amazes him how relaxed and confident Dean is acting. “I want you inside me.”

“Ok,” he nods eagerly and moans when Dean presses his bum down on his crotch and starts moving slowly. It feels amazing…but there’s too much clothes. “Wait, Dean.”  
Dean stops his movements and looks confused. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah, just…” he remembers then, he doesn’t have any condoms, for being about to have sex with Dean is seriously the last scenery he had in mind when coming here tonight. “Do you have any condoms?”

Dean thinks about it for a second then grimaces. “I don’t know…I think I don’t.”

His stomach sinks. There’s the option though, that he goes and buy some but it’ll be a total boner killer…not that there’ll be any problem with getting it on again, but still.

“What do we do?” Dean asks, pouting adorably.

“I could go buy some…” he suggests reluctantly, not wanting to ruin the moment, but it’s pretty much ruined by now anyway. They can always recapture it once he’s back and he’ll definitely make it a short trip.

“Yes!” Dean replies, nodding eagerly, “I mean…if you want to.”

“Of course,” he stands up once Dean removes himself from his lap and grabs Dean’s sweater and puts it on. It’s a bit too tight but it’ll take forever to button his shirt on. Dean giggles from behind. 

“I won’t take long.” He says and smiles at Dean, who is sitting on the bed looking shy again. He bends over and places a soft kiss on Dean’s lips. “Be right back.”

He puts on his jacket and practically runs down the stairs and to his car. 

He gets his desired item, and some lube too, and he’s running up the stairs in less than ten minutes. He knocks and Dean opens almost immediately and they kiss hungrily.

“Um…should we?” he asks tentatively, pointing at the bedroom. They already did some foreplay, so they might as well pick up from where they left off. 

“Yes!” Dean says enthusiastically. He’s put on a green hoodie for the time being and when they reach the bedroom, he takes it off quickly and himself his jacket and Dean’s sweater. Dean moves his hands towards the hem of his jeans and looks up at him for a second before sliding them down, underwear included. He admires the sight for a few seconds and then does the same, Dean’s eyes following his movements carefully and he feels somewhat self-conscious as the kiwi’s eyes linger on his crotch area, but once he’s completely naked, he lets it go, for Dean is as naked as he. 

He moves toward the light switch and turns it on. He wants to see Dean, and even though there’s a bit of whining and protest from Dean, he gets to let it on.

They move at the same time towards the bed. Dean lies on his back and observes him, biting his lower lip as he crawls over to him slowly, like a predator surveying his prey. Dean spreads his legs invitingly. 

This is more than he’d ever dared to imagine, it doesn’t even seem real. It must be a dream. To see Dean like this; lust filled eyes and pliant under him, waiting for him to take him, it’s just surreal. 

He crawls in between Dean’s legs and leans forward to kiss those, by now, swollen lips tenderly.

This is it. This is the moment he gets to caress Dean wherever he wants. He gets to explore all of Dean, every expanse of pale, soft skin; kiss every part he wants. He gets to do all the things he’s imagined pretty much since he’s met the kiwi, and the idea is glorious.

He starts by moving his lips from Dean’s to trail down his jaw and neck, where he pauses to kiss a barely visible Adam’s apple. Dean lets out some sort of a mewl and he can feel the vibration on his lips.

He sits up and stares at Dean. His face is flushed, even though he’s only kissed his neck a bit. He places his hands on Dean’s hips, and starts caressing then, then up to his waist and further up, tracing his fingers over Dean’s ribs, then a little more, were his fingers caress softly over small, pink nipples, eliciting a whimper from above. His hands slide down Dean’s chest and stop on his stomach, where he spreads his fingers wide, to cover all expanse of it with one hand. He bends over and places a kiss over a perfectly round bellybutton.

“Aidan, please…” Dean begs beautifully and he sits back on his hunches. “I need you.”

That does it.

He looks down at Dean’s cock, hard and leaking pre-cum. He takes it in his hand and starts rubbing it lazily. Dean whimpers and squirms, grasping the bed sheets in the process his tight little fists. He loves the weight of Dean’s erection on his hand. Dean’s cock is very pretty and he takes a moment to study it and compare it with his own. It’s not thin, but it’s not too thick either. His own is thicker, and longer, and a bit darker too. Also, Dean’s is surrounded by soft, dark blond and sort of reddish curls, while his own is surrounded by darker hair. Pale, soft flesh covers it and he delights in the feeling of it. He traces his thumb over the leaking slit and Dean lets out a yelp.

“More…Aid,” Dean moans and he smirks, letting go if Dean’s erection, causing the blond to whine.

“Don’t be impatient,” He says and grabs the bag with condoms and lube from beside him, “I want to enjoy this moment.”

Dean smiles at that, slightly calmer than just moments ago. He’s still squirming a bit, though, and he hasn’t let go of the bed sheets.

His own erection is painfully hard and begging for attention, only the sight of Dean being enough to have him hard as rock.

“Now…would you turn around? I have to prepare you,” he says with a smirk and Dean nods, then turns slowly unto his stomach, flexing his short legs to not hit him in the process. He could perfectly have prepared him while on his front, but he wants to delight on Dean’s behind.

Once the kiwi is comfy settled, his breath catches in his throat. This has got to be the most perfect bum he’s ever seen. The two, fleshy mounds are perfectly round, and the skin is smooth and pale pink and oh he needs to touch it, and he does. He places one hand on each cheek, covering them completely with his big hands. The skin is as soft as it looks and he can’t resist the urge to squeeze.

A grunt is Dean’s only response and he chuckles. 

Dean starts to squirm again and moan softly, humping the bed with slow motions to bring further friction on his erection.

“Please…”

“In a sec…” he replies, still in a trance like state at admiring Dean’s beautiful behind. The two thighs attached to it are no less perfect, and they are so cute and thin, he has to move his hands from the buttocks down so he can caress them, then he moves the up to cup the soft mounds again, then up to pause over the small of Dean’s back. He traces the dimples there with his fingers and leans down to place a kiss on each, then further down to do the same on Dean’s bum. 

Dean wiggles a little and giggles when he nips very lightly on the right one, his favorite...or is it the left one?

“C’mon Aid!” Dean whines impatiently and he slaps him very lightly on the left cheek.

“Don’t be unfair, Dean. You get to enjoy this compact, gorgeous little body all the time,” he says playfully, “It’s my turn.”

“Compact? m’not compact,” Dean protests weakly, “ and hurry up!”

“Ok, ok…hold on, baby,” he says without thinking. They are not really together, but it feels so right to say baby to Dean and to act like a real couple, he might say it again.

His hands travel up over Dean’s gorgeous back and over the soft skin, covered in a slim layer of sweat. The firm muscles there flex beautifully and he leans down to place a kiss on the base of Dean’s neck and from there, he starts to place multiple kisses down the blonds’ back, down along the spine, until he reaches Dean’s bum again. Then, he grabs the small bottle of lube and opens the cap, and pours a fair amount of the crystal liquid in his hand,.

“Okay, Dean,” he says and takes one thigh and separates it from the other one slowly. Dean takes the hint and spreads his legs wider, lifting his bum in the air a little. _What a sight_.

He coats two fingers with lube and pours a bit of lube on Dean’s crack, then with one hand, he spreads both cheeks, revealing a small, pink pucker. His painful erection gives a twitch at the sight, eager to bury itself on that little hole.

“God, Dean,” he groans and circles his finger around the pucker. It winks a few times and he takes the chance to bury his finger inside, eliciting a moan from Dean.

“Aid…”

“Dean…”

His fingers Dean with one finger first, thrusting gently, letting Dean adjust to the stretch before adding a second.

“Moore…” Dean begs and lifts his hips again, this time, to fuck himself on his finger. He takes Dean’s hip on his free hand to steady the kiwi’s moves.

“Okay.” He complies when he’s sure Dean can take a second. He plunders two fingers now and starts thrusting in and out, and in one of the thrusts, Dean moans loudly and he smirks. He’s found Dean’s spot and he thrusts in again, curling his fingers inside to rub the prostate firmly.

“Aid! There! Right there! Please,” 

“As you wish,”

Dean continues to moan and push down on his fingers, squirming desperately. 

He adds a third one, and after more than enough thrusts and scissoring, Dean is ready to take him in.

He puts on the condom as quickly as he can without breaking it and then applies a generous amount over himself, and steals a glance at the winking pucker, ready for him and shudders.

“Can you turn around…so I can see you?” he wants to be able to see Dean, to see his expressions and kiss him while he makes love to him. He really wants to kiss him. 

The blond nods and turns to lie on his back and their gazes lock, they both smile. He positions himself by Dean’s spread legs and takes one and pushes it against Dean’s chest, leaving Dean’s pucker in display and providing better access. He starts pushing in as he continues to look at the blond, who closes his eyes and moans, leaving his mouth slightly open. He moans too as the tight heat engulfs the head of his erection, but grants him easy access. He pauses and Dean whines _more_ , so he continues, as slowly as possible then pauses again. Dean has gripped the sheets even tighter and his knuckles look white.

“More, Aidan,” Dean protests, breathing heavily, all flushed and disheveled hair, looking more gorgeous than ever.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he grunts but pushes in a little bit more.

“I’m fine…just” Dean starts but ends in a moan as he pushes a little bit more. He’s almost all the way in and Dean seems to want, no, need more, so he pushes all the way in, slowly, but steady. Dean moans loudly as he hits bottom, having brushed over Dean’s prostate apparently, for the kiwi has started squirming again and has now circled arms around his back and is now scratching with his nails and pulling him closer.

“Move, Aid,” Dean breathes out, digging his heels on his backside to make him plunge deeper.

“Slowly,” he says in a huff and Dean nods. He pulls out slowly, leaving only the blunt head inside and then thrusts in, just as slowly. Dean is looking at him throw heavy lidded eyes, chest rising and falling, and when he sinks completely, Dean lets out a loud moan and arches his back to meet the thrusts. He leans forward and grabs Dean’s face with one hand, and kisses him deeply, while picking up a steady pace.  
Slow deep thrusts and Dean is moaning into his mouth, and he moans too, feeling pleasure pooling on his stomach and he quickens his pace, thrusting deeper and faster into the blond.

“Aidan…faster,” Dean huffs and grabs his hair, pulling slightly, sending a jolt of pleasure to his stomach. 

“Dean…you feel…so good,” he barely makes out the words since he’s getting closer and closer to completion and his mind is losing coherence, “So good.”

“Faster, Aidan…fuck me,” Dean grunts and he smiles devilishly, snapping his hips forward with force, dragging out a yelp from the kiwi, who presses his heels again against his back. “I’m close…”

He is close too and his pace is becoming erratic, and more desperate at the same time, while Dean clings to him, scratching him, kissing his neck and saying his name over and over again.

They come at the same time, crying out each other’s names; Dean making a mess between their bodies and him, coming inside the condom, buried to the hilt inside Dean. He collapses on top of Dean, placing his head in the blonds’ chest and he can hear his heart beat; they are both breathing hard trying to regain their normal rates. Dean starts to caress his curls, scratching his scalp gently. 

“Aidan?” Dean asks softly after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” he mutters and places a kiss over Dean’s chest before lifting his head to stare at the blond.

“Thank you.”

He smiles but frowns slightly at the kiwi’s thanks. 

“What for?” he asks curiously, and snakes his arms under Dean so he can hug him closer, then places a kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean continues to play with his hair.

“For everything…” Dean says “…for being here with me.”

He smiles broadly and kisses Dean again, deeply this time and then pulls back.

“And thank _you_ for existing, Dean O’Gorman,” he says meaningfully, making Dean blush and smile shyly.

This is one of those moments people look back to on their lives; they look back because they are so important, so perfect and meaningful. If someone were to ask him in the future, if he had a plentiful life, he’s going to think back on this moment and his answer is going to be yes, for even if he were to die tomorrow, and if things don’t turn out well for them as a couple, he’ll forever be thankful for this moment, right now, with Dean in his arms and feeling happier than he’s felt in all his life.

“I love you Aidan.”

“I love you too, Dean.”


	18. Chapter eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's noncon here,and some violence, so if it's a trigger, don't read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Sorry...hope you enjoy!

He cracks an eye open and a sun ray hits him directly, so he closes it again and stretches a little, then lies back on his previous position over a softly furred chest. He lifts his head to look upon the sleeping face above and smiles happily. Aidan is sound asleep.

They had sex. He can’t even believe it, but it happened.

Taking in on the sight of the Irishman he has to smile in amazement. Aidan’s messy curls are all over the pillow, thick and dark against the white pillowcase. He reaches over to touch them lightly, and Aidan let’s out an unintelligible grunt. He covers his mouth with one hand to stifle his giggles. Aidan’s head falls to the side, facing him. Closed lidded eyes and mouth slightly open, Aidan sleeps lost to the conscious world, breathing evenly in deep sleep. He looks so peaceful. 

He seizes this opportunity to admire the beautiful man beside him with complete liberty. 

Flipping unto his stomach, he supports his weight in his flexed arms and begins his duty, studying the Irishman’s features, his well defined and powerful, dark eyebrows that perfectly express what Aidan is feeling; those big, beautiful deep eyes he loves so much, that look at him with such care. He could stare at them forever and it wouldn’t be enough. He moves his attention to Aidan’s nose and its elegant slope and down to his perfect and well defined, full lips. It amazes him how expressive Aidan’s face is, so much that he can go from looking like a lost, suffering puppy, to dangerous and deathly sexy in seconds. It must be the eyebrows. 

He wants to take in every detail of Aidan’s face, carving them into his memory…If only he had his camera already. He has his phone though, but it might be a bit creepy if he took a photo of him sleeping, so he lets the idea go.

Reaching with his hand to rest on Aidan’s chest, he starts rubbing small circles, playing with dark chest hair. He really likes that Aidan has lots of chest hair, unlike Luke, who probably shaves it for his modeling jobs. 

Brushing Luke from his mind, he leans forward a bit and places a small kiss on Aidan’s cheek, loving how the stubble caresses his lips, then he moves to lie on his side again and realizes he’s slightly sore down there…very pleasantly so. He blushes at the thought that it was Aidan who gave him that soreness and smiles bashfully. He’s always felt sort of self-conscious after sex and lately, he’s felt ashamed even. Not now, though. Now, he’s feeling sated and complete and deliciously exhausted. He’s never felt happier the morning after sex than he is feeling now; never felt happier of waking up beside someone than he feels now with Aidan. 

He really wants to stay there and enjoy Aidan’s closeness and warmth, but he also wants to make breakfast for him and bring it here. Maybe if he hurries he gets to admire Aidan for a few more minutes before he wakes up.

Putting on sweat pants only, he goes to the kitchen, making a stop at the bathroom to brush his teeth before continuing. 

A few minutes later, he comes back to the bedroom carrying the same tray Aidan used yesterday morning to bring him breakfast. This is the third time he wakes up in bed with the Irishman…although he wishes he could forget the first time.

Aidan hasn’t moved from his previous position and looks just as gorgeous. More sunlight has leaked through the window, bathing Aidan’s bare chest with a golden glow.

He gently places it on his nightstand and casually slides the sweat pants off, getting into bed beside the sleeping Irishman and retaking his previous position, draped beside Aidan between the crook of his arm, a hand over his chest and head on his shoulder.

Being back against Aidan, skins touching, he can’t help but recall the previous night, how incredible the whole night had been and how godly beautiful Aidan looked over him; how good the brunette felt against him, the kisses, Aidan’s hands over his skin…his fingers; Aidan’s girth inside him…

He shudders a little and tries to chase the thoughts away for his buddy down there is waking up and he doesn’t want Aidan to wake up to that pressed against his hip. He moves away a bit and the movement causes the brunette to stir awake. 

The moment Aidan’s eyes crack open, a huge grin adorns his face.

“Good morning gorgeous,” Aidan pulls him closer and kisses him tenderly.

“Good morning, Aid” he replies when Aidan’s done kissing him. “I brought you breakfast.” He places his head on Aidan’s shoulder again.

“Oh, that’s so cute, thank you” Aidan kisses him again and holds him close.

“It’s not cute…you did it yesterday…” he knows Aidan’s teasing him so he plays along.

“Yeah, but when you do it, it _is_ cute.” He smiles at Aidan and he pecks him on the nose. “You are cute.”

“You are,” he replies and pecks back on soft lips quickly but Aidan holds him there and deepens the kiss, pulling him even closer so that he’s almost lying on top of Aidan, hands holding him by the hips and he cups Aidan’s cheeks with both hands.

“You have no idea of how much I wanted for this to happen,” Aidan tells him and his hands travel up and down his back making him shiver in delight. His smile falter a bit when he thinks about all the stupid things he’s done lately and poor Aidan had to endure.

“I’m sorry I was so stupid, Aid…and for not listening to you. And thank you for wanting to be my friend after all I did…and for now…” he hesitates and bites his bottom lip, playing with Aidan’s chest hair.

“…and for now what?” Aidan pushes and places his hands on his hips again, holding him in place.

He looks up at Aidan’s brown eyes, and they look very beautiful in daylight. He’s never noticed before, they almost look green.

“For being here with me and… for loving me,” he says softly and wonders internally if he said too much. What if what Aidan said last night was just a heat of the moment thing?

Aidan smiles sweetly and with one hand, brushes stray strands away from his eyes.

“Thank you for returning my feelings, Dean.” 

They kiss again, softly and slowly at first just for the comfort of being close together, but soon, it becomes more urgent, more desperate and the caresses bolder and Aidan’s hands travel down to caress his ass. He blushes and lets out a squeak of surprise when the caress turns into a squeeze.

“May I say you’ve got the most perfect bum I’ve ever seen?”

“Stop it,” he laughs and slaps Aidan gently on the chest.

“You do,” Aidan says continuing to squeeze, “and I get to squeeze it. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

“So you think I’m cute…?” he pushes himself of Aidan’s chest and into a sitting position, straddling the brunettes lap. Aidan nods, a lazy smile gracing his lips, watching him carefully. “You don’t think I’m sexy?”

This causes Aidan to lift his eyebrows and his smile to widen. “I don’t know. Care to show me how sexy you can be?” he smiles back, feeling awfully comfortable with Aidan, so much he’s even daring into things he would have never done before, like being so forward for example.

“Well…I just might do that,” he starts caressing Aidan’s chest and slowly, very slowly, he starts rocking his hips. He can feel Aidan’s waking erection right on his butt and his own cock begins to stir awake.

\----------------------

Aidan is amazed. He can only stare agape at the blond sitting on his lap and rocking his hips deliciously against this erection. His hands rest on Dean’s thighs and start caressing them, then end up, griping the kiwi’s hips, guiding the gentle movements and marveling at the feeling of the muscles flexing under his hands.

There’s not much preparation, since Dean’s nice and lose from last night, but still deliciously tight when the tight heat swallows him as Dean sits on his cock, letting out the most beautiful and sensuous sound he’s ever heard coming from the kiwi’s lips as he impales himself to the bottom on his painfully straining erection, a mixture between a groan and a moan.

This time, their coupling is faster, harder, mostly seeking for release than making love, but they still kiss lovingly when they can get a hang of themselves. Dean leans forward occasionally to plant a wet kiss on his lips that he returns with fervor, then sits back again to continue rocking his hips back and forth, and letting out chorus of moans and whines of pleasure as his spot is hit over and over. 

Dean’s hand wraps itself on his own straining and leaking erection, pumping up and down to reach his climax. He reaches and replaces Dean’s hand with his own; wanting to bring the blond to completion by both ends himself.

They come together, crying out the others name as if by just calling their names they reached completion. Dean falls forward to rest against his chest, both breathing hard and in unison to regain their breath.

He kisses a brow wet with sweat, golden curls looking darker by the dampness.

“You are perfect, did you know that?” he kisses Dean’s hair now, “…and sinfully sexy.”

Dean lets out a breathless laugh and a satisfied little grin.

“That’s good.”

They continue to fool around till well into the afternoon. Dean gets up sometime to make sandwiches for lunch and takes them right back into bed where they continue to kiss and caress.

He has to leave eventually, since he promised to help Adam get his new couch into his apartment, because, Adam’s words –he would have to be stupid to pay so much money for shipping, if the store is only four blocks from his place- so he’s stuck helping him move the damn couch from the store and take it on his truck and over to Adam’s apartment, and carry it up the stairs... He’s excited though, because he just can’t wait to tell his friend about the best night, and morning of his life.

“You can take a shower, I’ll get you clean towels,” Dean says and disappears towards his bedroom, only to come back in a few seconds with an armful of clean towels. He smiles warmly at the sight, - for Dean is smiling in such an open and carefree way - he feels even more in love with this Dean.

“Thank you, babe,” he leans and kisses plump lips. He considers asking Dean to join him, but that might be a bit too much. After all, they got plenty of time to explore more aspects of their new ‘friendship’.

A few minutes later, he’s ready to go and they stand by Dean’s door saying goodbye. He cups Dean’s face in his hands and kisses his forehead, then the tip of his nose, then his lips, gently. Dean’s hands are on his hips, pulling him closer.

“Can I come back tonight?” he whispers against Dean lips like it’s a secret. Dean replies in a whispered _yes_ , and resumes the kiss.

He goes back home to get his truck and then drives to Adam’s apartment, sending an _I’m on my way_ text as he drives off. He almost never uses it and he’s seriously considering selling it so he can find a decent enough new place to live.

Thankfully, Adam’s waiting for him outside and quickly climbs in, so they go to the shop to pick the damn couch. It’s a huge leather and wood thing; though he agrees it would look great in Adam’s place, his back hurts only by the thought of carrying that thing.

“Great choice…” he says sarcastically as he studies the couch with his hands on his hips, “but, didn’t they have a heavier one?”

“Oh c’mon Aid, I thought you were strong,” Adam says, “You are not getting intimidated by this insignificant sofa, are you?” 

He looks at Adam with disbelief. “Manipulative little bastard.”

They manage somehow to get the thing on his truck and they are currently parked outside Adam’s place. 

“See? This wasn’t so hard?”

“We just loaded it on and off the truck; it’s a whole different deal to carry it up a bunch of stairs.” He breathes out, “and let me remind you, its four floors up.”

“Could you stop complaining? You’ve done nothing but whine about how heavy it is.”

“That’s because it _is_ heavy, and I’ve done most of the heavy lifting, you have barely been of help.” He continues to whine and plumps down on the couch- scratch that - sofa.

“It’s not that heavy, and I’ve been of help.”

“You barely have any strength in those chicken limbs,” he teases and Adam punches him in the arm, quite strongly. “Ouch!”

“See?”

“Ok…maybe I’m just tired from all the sex I got last night.” he says casually, “ _and_ this morning.”

“Yeah, right,” Adam laughs.

There’s silence for a few seconds and he’s sporting a triumphant grin on his face so when Adam looks at him again, he knows he’s not lying.

“You did?!” Adam’s disbelief is a little bit too much. It’s not like he never has sex, he just…doesn’t fuck around.

“Your surprise hurts a bit, but yeah, I did,” he says, feigning nonchalant.

“With who?” Adam sits down on the sofa beside him, visibly excited about this new information. He’s got plenty of things to tell Adam.

“Guess,” he takes a cigarette and lights it, taking a drag and lying back on the sofa.

Adam stares at him smiling happily, clearly excited about this little game and thinking about who this mysterious person is. It shouldn’t be so difficult, really.

“The guy you were eyeing the other day at the pub,” Adam points at him with his index finger, smiling, clearly thinking he’s got the right answer.

“What guy?” he really doesn’t remember what guy Adam’s talking about. There were a lot of guys there.

“The guy…with the beard and blond hair,” he thinks for a moment and then recalls a certain stranger he checked out a few times, with a beard and blond hair. He was attractive and in a slight way reminded him of Dean, the main reason why he stared at him for longer than he would any other guy, but that’s about it.

He scrunches up his face and looks at Adam and answers him with a simple, “no.”

“No? Shame…he was really cute,” Adam says nodding to him.

“He was ok...” he says distractedly and takes a drag from his cigarette. 

Adam looks deep in thought for a second. “I’ve run out of options.”

“That’s it?” he asks in disappointment, “that’s your whole guess, 'the _guy_ from the pub'?”

“Well, who else is there?” Adam stares at him and he smiles sheepishly and takes another drag, in a laid back way. Adam’s expression changes dramatically, from confusion to shock. “You didn’t.”

Yep, Adam’s got the right answer. 

He continues to smoke his cigarette in a nonchalant way, smiling proudly.

“But…what about Luke?” Adam looks at him in wonder and then starts bragging, “I knew they were going to break up sooner or later, didn’t I tell you?” Adam seems very excited and proud of himself for foreseeing the obvious. Well, it wasn’t so obvious. “Cause they’ve broken up, right?”

He looks at Adam with an _of course they did_ expression. “You know I wouldn’t have done it were they still together.”

“Fair point,” Adam nods and stares ahead in deep concentration.

He nods and flicks the cigarette butt towards the street. He knows Adam is about to bombard him question so he tries to distract him. “We should get this upstairs, otherwise we’ll be here until nighttime and just so you know, my annoying buddy, I’ve got a date.”

“But you’ve got to tell me everything… _in detail_ ,” Adam protests, not moving from the sofa, arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m not going to tell you the details,” He counters back, but he _is_ planning on telling him everything else that happened this past week.

“Oh yes you will.”

They carry the sofa into the lobby, and with much effort and sweat from both, they miraculously carry it upstairs, to the second floor. 

“You should call the guys, I’m done.” He says and plumps down on the sofa heavily. “We need reinforcements...and someone with muscles would be nice…” he teases. But they do need reinforcements. The couch…sofa is extremely heavy. They probably carved the sofa on a huge tree trunk and enveloped it in leather.

“I’m going to let that go just because you are helping me, and no, the guys can’t come, but I’ve got an idea,” Adam says pretty sure of himself so he decides to hear his idea. At least it’s better than no ideas at all. 

“Ok, what is it?” he huffs and casually looks at the time on his watch. It’s almost five thirty, but they’ve got time.

Turns out Adam’s plan is getting the neighbor he’s got a crush on to help them, but of course, Adam needs _him_ to do the talking for otherwise he’s going to stutter and blush in embarrassment and it’ll all be too horrific, according to Adam.

“So you’ve been planning this all along? Did you really need another couch?” he jokes, but there’s honest wonder too.

“It’s a sofa, and yes I’ve planned it, but no, I didn’t buy it just to talk to Graham,” Adam explains in whispers while they approach Graham’s apartment.

He knocks two times. “What if he’s not home?”

“He is,” Adam says confidently. He squints and looks down at Adam about to ask him how is he so sure when paces approach them from inside. The door opens and Graham stands there, looking tall and strong, exactly what they need right now.

He clears his throat once he remembers he’s the one who has to talk.

“Um..hi, I’m Aidan, Adam’s friend,” he says and points to Adam. This is really ridiculous.

“Oh, hi, nice to meet you, Aidan, I think I’ve seen you before…and Adam, how are you?”

“Um, great…and you?” Adam says nervously, but manages not to stutter. He is blushing do.

“I’m great too,” Graham says with a friendly smile. “What can I do for you?”

Oh, well, we kind of need your help with something…it involves heavy lifting…and as you can see, Adam here is not a heavy lifting kind of guy,” he can almost feel the hateful look Adam is for sure throwing at him “…so, could you…?”

“Say no more…let me just put on my shoes,” Graham practically grunts out and Adam turns to him when Graham disappears.

“Oh my God,” is all Adam says, with adoration in his voice. He has to give it to Adam. Graham is very hot.

They go downstairs to the second floor, where the sofa is waiting for them. 

“Adam, you could take the cushions…” Graham suggests and he snorts, though they still look a bit heavy, they should have thought of that before.

“Ok,” Adam takes the three cushions, not without some effort and holds two of them under his arms. They are pretty big too. “I’ll take this upstairs.”

“Alright… on three.”

It’s amazing how much easier it is to carry the thing now, with Graham carrying half the weight. They make it to the third floor in no time, and they take a few seconds to rest while Adam fetches the third cushion.

“So what’s the deal?” Graham asks suddenly.

He frowns in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

“With your friend…he gay?” Graham continues his sudden and much unexpected questions. 

“Wha…”

“Cause if he is its fine by me,” Graham states, “I want to know if he’s got a boyfriend. He available?”

“Wh…”

Adam comes back then, interrupting their very eloquent conversation on his part. 

“Ok, I’ll take this upstairs and move some things around for the sofa,” Adam says and continues his way up the stairs.

“Well?” Graham insists the moment Adam disappears from sight.

“Why…would you want to know?” he asks, stuttering a bit, completely taken by surprise by Graham interrogatory.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m interested in him” Graham blurts out like if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

He looks dumbfounded back at Graham. “Oh? Well…he’s available at the moment…and gay too.”

Graham smiles again and says no more about the subject. “Let’s take this thing upstairs then, laddie.”

They finish the task and Adam rewards them with tea and muffins. Blueberry again, making the whole ordeal worthy.

“This are delicious, did you make them?” Graham asks in amazement, Adam blushes of course.

“Ah…Yes…I make them, thank you,” Adam says and he watches the exchange with interest, wondering if he should beat it and leave this two dorks alone. They continue talking about random things such as work and films and crap, but then Graham decides for him as he gets up after thanking Adam for the delicious muffins and great tea and excuses himself, claiming he’s got an appointment to meet.

They say goodbye and Adam walks Graham to the door, showering the definitely Scottish man, with thanks. He observes with interest from his position by the table. The door closes and Adam leans into it for support.

“You are such a dork,” he blurts out and grabs another muffin.

“I’m in love…,” Adam sighs dramatically then teases back, “You are a dork too… and don’t eat all the muffins.”

“By the way…you won’t believe what Graham said,” He says around a mouthful of muffin.

\--------------------------------

Dean takes his free afternoon to clean the apartment wholly and then he goes to the store to get much needed groceries, and maybe the needed elements to make Aidan dinner. 

He goes back home and sends a text to Aidan to ask him around what time he’s coming, just to be ready. He does all this with a huge smile on his face, still in a daze for the whole Aidan thing. He blushes slightly when he sits down and the slight soreness reminds him of last night.

 _Don’t eat dinner, I might have something prepared_ , he texts and stands up to go to the kitchen and start cooking.

\---------------------------------

“Oh my God!” Adam exclaims. “You’re not lying to me are you? Cause if you are I swear I’ll smack you so hard you’ll…”

“Nope…I’m not lying,” he interrupts and Adam sits down in front of him, then stands up and starts pacing around, clearly in shock.

“So…he likes me…and he’s going to ask me out…”

“All he said is that he’s interested in you…but yeah, the logical thing would be he asks you out,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Oh my…I think I’ll faint. He’s so hot.” Adam says as he sits down again.

He laughs at his friend for acting so flustered but then he thinks of Dean and his stomach flutters. He understands his friend pretty damn well…though Adam’s not in love with Graham.

“Yeah…he’s quite handsome,” he agrees with his friend and takes a sip of tea.

“He is, isn’t he?” Adam smiles and wears a dreamy expression on his face, he nods.

Adam looks at him suddenly, “you still have to tell me everything that’s happened with Dean.”

He would usually try to prevent the telling Adam part for as long as possible, but this time, he really wants to tell his friend all about Dean. He’s been avoiding the subject for far too long but for different reasons before; now, he wants to spill everything, like a giddy fifteen year old talking about their new crush.

“Ok…where should I start?”

“From the beginning would be nice,” Adam suggests and walks to the kitchen, then comes back holding two beers. “We need a proper drink for this.” Adam says, referring to the tea.

“Um, let’s see…” He thinks for a few seconds from where exactly he should start, and when exactly he left off telling Adam about recent events, while opening the beers. “Oh, ok. Hold on a second.”

He fishes his phone out when it vibrates in his pocket. It’s a text from Dean, telling him he shouldn’t eat because he’ll have something prepared. He texts back. _mmm yummy…can’t wait! I’ll be there at eight…would that be ok?_

Dean answers a _perfect! I’ll be waiting. Kisses._

 _See, you babe. Kisses._ he smiles down at his phone and resumes opening the beers and hands one to Adam and takes a gulp, then starts telling everything that’s been happening with Dean of late…and with Luke and Orlando.

“…the worst is that I didn’t tell him, you know? I could have spared him the embarrassment.”

“Don’t be hard on you, Aidan. You still tried to make Luke tell him, as naïve as that might have been,” Adam smirks. He knows he’s replacing the word _stupid_ with _naïve_ , but he’s right. It was pretty stupid to believe Luke would tell the truth to Dean… guess he still had some faith in his former friend.

“So yesterday…what happened then?” Adam asks, very interested in getting even the last little detail out of him.

He smiles as if on reflex when he thinks about yesterday; the kisses, the caresses, Dean’s soft skin against his, his lips, his…

“Aidan!” Adam interrupts his train of thought. “You can’t stop smiling, you big sop.”

It’s true, he can’t. 

“Well…I came over and we started kissing on the couch.”

Adam stares at him for a few seconds. “…And?”

“…and one thing led to another…”

“Ugh…you are the worst story teller ever! Where are the details?” Adam complains dramatically.

He laughs and drinks some more beer. He knows Adam’s right though, so he articulates a bit more.

“He told me he loves me…and, well…I told him I love him and he said it back.”

Adam frowns, surprise on his face. “You love him?”

He looks at Adam intently and answers honestly. “I love him.”

\--------------------------

Dean has about an hour before Aidan gets there, so he puts everything he needs on the counter and starts reading the recipe for like the tenth time. He’s never made Irish stew before, but he knows it can’t be too difficult, so he starts chopping some onions.

There’s a knock on the door and he frowns for it is just ten past seven. Aidan said at eight, not that he has any problem with that. 

He wipes his hands on the kitchen cloth and walks to the door to open it, shivering as he goes for he’s only wearing a t-shirt. He’s going to grab a hoodie later. When he opens the door it’s not Aidan who greets him after all, it’s Luke. 

“Hey, Dean,” Luke greets smiling casually, like nothing’s happened. He frowns as he looks at the other man. “How are you?”

He stares at Luke for a few seconds without saying anything. 

“Aren’t you going to say hi to me?” Luke asks, leaning on the frame of the door, looking at him seductively.

He sighs and looks away from Luke. “What are you doing here?” 

He misses the slight anger flick pass through Luke’s eyes at his dismissive question.

“Well, I came to see you, of course,” Luke says and reaches over to touch his arm. He flinches and Luke lowers his arm, “and to apologize…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says coldly.

Luke stares at him; an unreadable expression on his face. He suddenly feels a bit weary, and the difference in his and Luke’s height and girth becomes much too obvious as he stands in front of him. Not like he thinks Luke would try something, not at all.

“I think you should go,” he says softly, not daring to meet Luke’s eyes. He starts closing the door, but Luke holds it open with his arm. “Luke…”

“What the hell is your problem?” Luke asks in a serious tone and walks a few steps into his apartment so he has to step back a little but holds the door firmly, “I want _you_ , Dean… and what happened with Orlando was meaningless, nothing worth ending our relationship for.”

He can’t believe what Luke is saying. Does he really think he did nothing wrong?

“What the hell is _your_ problem?” he snaps, suddenly very angry at the brunette. “You cheat on me with no other than my work mate and you expect me to keep dating you like nothing happened?”He gestures with his free hand exasperatedly. 

“Don’t be so overdramatic, we only had been going out for like days.”

“Yeah, exactly,” he says, calmed now, “that’s why it’s so easy for me to end this. I don’t feel anything for you.”

Luke stares at him with the same unreadable expression and he can’t tell whether he’s angry or not but he tries to be as soft as possible, just in case.

“Just…please, leave. We have nothing to talk about.” He grips the handle with force and starts closing the door, leaning against it and using all his body weight in case Luke tries to hold it open. But Luke is stronger than him, and pushes with all his force to open it. It slams open violently, pushing him back a few paces and hitting his arm with force.

“Aw..fuck!” he yelps and grabs his injured arm with the other. The skin broke when the edge scratched against his skin, leaving long gashes that start to bleed slowly. Also, his wrist hurts pretty badly, since it got bend in an awkward angle and smashed against the door. It hurts pretty fucking bad.

Luke stands there, shock written on his face when he dares to look at the man, having just a few seconds earlier closed his eyes on reflex, expecting a blow or something. It doesn’t come.

“Dean…” Luke swallows and takes a few steps towards him, holding his hands up. “Are you ok?”

He continues to grip his arm and now cradles it against his chest. 

“Get the fuck out!” he yells at the brunette, his voice cracking a bit with fear and unshed tears, also anger. He’s very angry.

Luke doesn’t comply, quite the opposite, he gives a few more steps towards him and closes the door behind him. He watches Luke’s movements carefully. Fear has by now replaced any trace of anger, just like that, and now he can feel himself trembling.

“Let me see,” Luke says and reaches out and grabs his arm, with surprising gentleness, he flinches anyways but stays dead still. “Does this hurt?” Luke moves his wrist back and it hurts like a bitch so he yelps again.

“Please leave, Luke…just leave,” He begs and silently prays that Aidan comes earlier than he said he would.

“Dean, c’mon, it was an accident,” Luke says and he dares to meet his eyes. There’s a slight frown there but the anger seems to have dissipated. “Don’t act like you are afraid of me.”

He wants to move away from Luke, as far as he can but the man continues to hold his wrist so any movement would bring more pain to his already hurting wrist.

He swallows hard and lets out a shaky sight. “Alright…whatever…just please, leave,” he says, trying to control the tremor in his voice and praying that Luke leaves. He doesn’t though.

“Dean, I’m sorry…I didn’t meant to hurt you,” Luke whispers and gets closer. He let’s go of his wrist but wraps him in a tight hug, and he can’t push him away, not with just one arm, “I want you, Dean. I would never hurt you on purpose.”

“Luke…stop,” he tries to pull away but Luke doesn’t relent, sneaking his arms around his waist, keeping him close. He tries to calm himself and wiggle away from Luke’s embrace, but when the brunette starts nosing his neck and places a small kiss on his bare skin, he start to panic.

_What if Aidan comes and sees them like this?_

“I want you, Dean,” Luke breathes against his neck and kisses his neck again. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Stop…let me go,” he says, trying to get away and managing to give a few steps back till his back collides with the kitchen counter, but Luke follows him of course, not letting go and he feels even more trapped now. “Luke…” he whines - voice sounding really high pitched to his ears, almost like a wail- he pushes with his good arm against Luke’s shoulder and starts digging his nails in the skin there but Luke doesn’t seem to care. He can feel his eyes fill with tears and his heart beating fast. The tears spill and roll down his face when Luke starts caressing him down his shirt, and kissing his jaw, then up to plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth, since he moved his head away in time. 

He’s petrified by fear and his voice is caught in his throat. Luke is not going to stop. Luke is going to…

“Please, stop!” he’s able to wretch out, but Luke pulls back a little to stare at him. “Calm down.” It sounds like an order and he stays still as Luke leans forward and kisses him on his unresponsive lips. He begins to sob, but Luke swallows the sounds. He can feel a hard erection pressing against his belly and his stomach tightens into knots. He moves his face to the side abruptly, breaking the kiss and ends up leaning his head against Luke’s shoulder, staining it with tears and spit from the unwanted kiss.

“Calm down,” Luke repeats and hands caress down his back, pausing at the curve of his bum, then slowly lower down, over his bum, where they caress both cheeks; panic rising in him. “You know you want it.” Luke whispers against his ears and he jerks away from the embrace, unconsciously pushing with both hands, hurting his wrist in the process and he cries out loud. “You are going to hurt yourself if you try to push me away.”

He is panicking by now. Luke won’t stop and he can’t push him away. He tries to reassure himself that Aidan will get here soon, very soon. 

He loses it though, when he’s turned around suddenly and Luke presses his erection against his ass, pushing him against the counter. Wet kisses on his neck and hands on his hips bringing him back against Luke’s erection. 

His right arm moves as if on its own as he grabs a mug with -by now- cold tea and smashes it back against Luke’s head with all the force he can muster, breaking the thing and spilling tea over both of them. Luke curses loudly and lets him go. He doesn’t stay and wait to see how Luke is, he doesn’t even turn around to look at the man. He just runs out of the apartment and down the stairs, till he’s outside in the street, where he leans against the wall and lurches forward to empty the contents on his stomach. Some people passing by ask him if he’s alright, but he can’t answer them. He just starts walking away from there, holding himself against the wall, trembling all over. He feels about to faint and everything looks weird, dreamlike, as if he was looking at things from the outside.

“Are you ok?” A man around his fifties asks, wearing a long, warm coat. He is walking beside him; a concerned expression on his face and holding his phone out to him. “Do you need to call somebody?”

 _Aidan…he needs to call Aidan._ he fumbles through his jeans where he usually keeps his phone and thanks the gods that it’s there so he fetches it and with impossibly trembling hands searches for Aidan’s contact and presses call; the man continues to wait for him to say something.

 _Hello?_ Aidan’s voice says and tears run down his face.


	19. Chapter nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 19...finally :S Hope it's somewhat worth the wait, sorry about that... and enjoy! :D

Aidan’s phone vibrates and he excuses himself with Adam to answer it. It’s Dean so he answers right away.

“Hello?” There’s silence following so he speaks again. “Dean?”

“Aid…” Dean whispers after a few moments, his voice sounding sort of -off.

“Dean? Are you ok?” he asks as he feels a slight pang of fear in his gut. Adam looks up from his cup at this and frowns, concerned.

“…Aidan,” Dean says in a trembling voice and he knows something’s wrong. He takes his jacket hastily and gestures Adam he’s leaving.

“Dean, are you ok?” He asks worried but tries to keep his tone calm. “Where are you?”

Millions of thoughts run through his mind; images of Dean being hurt in different ways, each more fantastic than the last as he rushes down towards his truck. 

Dean says he’s at the bus stop, near his building, his voice sounds a bit more calm, but only mildly so. 

“I’m on my way, ok? Just stay where you are and I’ll be there soon.”

\---------------------------

His hands continue to tremble, though at hearing Aidan’s voice he’s calmed down considerably. So he keeps walking till the bus stop, fuelled by the knowledge that Luke is still in his apartment…or worse, coming after him, so he sits down and answers Aidan’s question.

“I’m…I’m at the bus stop…” he wills his voice to sound as calm as possible given the circumstances.

“Which?” Aidan’s voice sounds sort of weird, like he’s also trying to keep it under control.

“Close to my place,” he sighs, voice trembling, but mostly from cold by now since Aidan’s voice seems to work like magic on his nerves. He’s still scared, though.

“I’m on my way, ok? Just stay where you are and I’ll be there soon,” Aidan says and seems to settle the phone down but does not hang up. He keeps the phone close to his ear for knowing Aidan’s at the other side keeps him calmed.

“Do you need anything?” a deep voice sounds right beside him and he startles but then calms down again since it’s the same guy that was trying to help him just before. He makes eye contact for the first time and manages to crack a small smile at the concerned man. 

“I’m fine, thank you. Someone’s coming for me,” he assures the man, there’s still some tremor in his voice but the man seems satisfied with his answer so he leaves. He immediately regrets the man leaving for he’s left alone, looking nervously towards the door of his building. Thankfully, only a couple of minutes, Aidan pulls over a few feet away from the bus stop, closer to his building so he stands up and walks over to meet him. Aidan practically jumps out of the car, curls messy and all over his brow and an almost savage expression on his face and eyes as their gazes lock. He would have laughed if it weren’t for the fact that he wants to cry like a baby and throw himself at Aidan’s arms for comfort. He doesn’t have to though, for Aidan is at his side in a second, holding him in his embrace, like he knows exactly what happened just by looking at him.

“It’s ok, Dean,” Aidan whispers and caresses his hair. He locks his arms around Aidan’s waist and rests his head against the warm chest, letting out a shuddering breath of relief. “I’m here now…I’m here.”

Aidan moves away after a few seconds; hands on his shoulders -face inches from his own- and eyes searching.

“Dean, what happened?” Aidan asks with worry marring his tone and Dean looks down, willing the knot in his throat to dissipate turning out to be futile and pretty soon, his eyes start filling with tears, but he doesn’t let them fall. Aidan sees them anyway

“Baby, what happened?” Aidan huffs out and cups his face with both hands, gently forcing him to look back. He steals a glance at those brown eyes and looks away immediately. Aidan pulls back and lets go of his face; gaze drifting downwards, where his arm is hanging carelessly by his side.

“Your arm…Dean” Aidan points out –worry increasing in his voice- and gently takes it in his hand, and as if only by Aidan’s acknowledgment of his injury, his arm starts hurting. It probably didn’t hurt before cause of the adrenaline rush. “What the hell happened, Dean? Did someone do this to you?”

Aidan’s question makes him start to remember everything that happened, and he begins to doubt his overreaction. A cold feeling of dread settles in his stomach as he thinks about how he smashed the mug in Luke’s head with force. What if he’s unconscious? What if he’s….dead?

“Dean?” Aidan drags his attention back to the present, but the feeling of dread comes back with him. What if he seriously hurt Luke?

“Luke…he’s…” he stutters, terrified of the consequences of his aggression.

“Luke?!” Aidan exclaims -expression changing drastically from concerned to angry- deadly angry.

He looks wide-eyed at Aidan and he’s about to answer but gets interrupted.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Luke’s voice roars, coming from their right and he looks in the direction of the source, gasping in shock at the sight. Luke’s got his hand against his forehead- applying pressure to stop the bleeding probably. There’s blood, not as much as he’d imagined, but enough to run down his face, reaching his lips and down to his chin.

“Shit, Luke…” his first instinct is to apologize, but Aidan, knowing by now Luke was the one who hurt him, steps between them and faces Luke.

“What the fuck did you do to him, Luke?” Aidan’s voice sounds even and serene, but that makes it sound more menacing in a way.

“Ask this bitch what he did to me!” Luke points at him with his finger, accusingly.

The sound of Aidan’s fist colliding with Luke’s chin vibrates to his core, and he cringes in reflex. Luke stumbles back a little, but the wall of the building behind him catches his fall, though he would have if it weren’t’ for it, Aidan hitting him with great force.

“Don’t call him that,” Aidan grunts, looking down at Luke, then turns to him suddenly. His hair looks all disheveled from the movement and his clothes in disarray. 

“Let’s go.”

\------------------------

Aidan turns to look at Dean. The look on the kiwi’s face disturbs him a bit and he feels he should take him elsewhere for now -to the hospital most likely to check his wrist- and hopefully he’ll draw some information out if him on the way there. He has no idea what happened between the two but he’s damn sure it was Luke’s fault, him not having any business coming to Dean’s apartment in the first place.

He leads the distressed blond back to his truck and holds the door open for him. Dean has his gaze fixed on Luke, who is cursing and spiting on the sidewalk, so he has to watch the blonds’ steps so he doesn’t trip.

“Fuck you, Aidan!” Luke yells at him once he’s able to speak, and quite thankfully, starts walking away. That’s pretty much the most reaction he’s gotten out of Luke, in like ever, and he feels satisfied, although, he can’t help but feel a bit of regret also for punching his former best friend.

He walks around his truck and sits on the driver’s seat. Dean is trembling beside him -looking out the window at Luke’s retreating form- and he mentally slaps himself. The blonds’ probably cold; he’s wearing a thin t-shirt only and it’s pretty fucking cold out. He leans forwards and peals his jacket of to wrap it around Dean’s shoulders. Dean seems to wake from a haze and turns to look at him, eyes red from unshed tears.

“Thank you,” Dean whispers, then quickly looks away and back out the window.

“Dean?” he tries softly and places a hand over Dean’s uninjured arm. Dean flinches slightly and he retreats his hand as if burned. “Dean what happened?”

He sees the other man hunch his shoulder, trying to make himself smaller and his worry increases.

“Dean?” he presses and this time he gets a reply.

“I broke a mug on his head…” Dean says after a few seconds, refusing to meet his eyes, looking down at his injured wrist.

It isn’t what he was expecting but at least it’s something. Still, that answers nothing so he continues to press Dean. He must have had a good reason to do that.

“And why did you break a mug on Luke’s head?” he asks softly. Dean visibly cringes and shakes his head, unwilling to answer. “Dean…” he swallows audibly, “did Luke do something to you?” He starts praying silently for Dean to deny the possibility, for if that were the case, he does not know what he’ll be capable of. He waits for the answer holding his breath but Dean refuses to say more so he lets it out, thought the dread in his gut stays put. Dean’s wrist is still hurt and he didn’t do that to himself.

“Ok…you can tell me later,” he breathes out and grabs the steering wheel, “we need to get your wrist checked anyway.” He starts the engine.

“I don’t want to go to the hospital,” Dean says softly. 

He sighs and places a –what he hopes is a comforting hand- gently on Dean’s thigh and waits for his reaction. When it’s clear it doesn’t bother the blond he squeezes gently. “I’ll just be a check up, and it’ll be quick, I promise. Plus, they’ll give you something for the pain and the swelling.”

Dean seems to consider it for a moment and then nods. 

“Ok…but can we get my things first? I don’t have my wallet,” Dean says, voice trembling.

“Sure.”

They climb up the stairs and enter the apartment. Aside from the wide open door and the pieces of smashed mug surrounded by liquid, there’s not much indication of anything happening, but somehow, he can feel the tension in the air, like it’s still hanging there; Dean’s furniture being the only other witnesses of what took place just moments ago. 

He looks at the floor by his feet and can see small drops of some dark liquid. _Luke’s blood_.

Dean moves randomly, here and there, looking for his needed items in sort of a confused state, like he’s forgot what he came looking for. He seems even more distressed than moments ago so he walks up to the blond, who is currently holding on to the kitchen counter, looking down on the mess there. Now that he studies it, he can clearly see there was some sort of struggling, for there are chops of vegetables spread all over the counter, a bottle of oil toppled over and oil dripping from the side of the cap.

He gently places a hand on Dean’s back and starts rubbing circles, and then turns the blond to face him by grabbing his shoulders, half expecting to see tears on Dean’s face; there’s none, but that lost stare is far from relieving.

“Dean…please tell me what happened,” he begs softly, not wanting to pressure the blond much, but desperate for information.

“Luke…”Dean lets out a shaky breath and runs a trembling hand through golden hair. His stomach cramps up, waiting for what Dean’s about to say. 

“C’mon, you can tell me,” he assures when it seems Dean’s doubting saying anything.

There’s a nod from Dean and a shuddering sigh before he starts speaking. 

“Luke wanted to talk…to apologize,” Dean swallows soundly. “I told him he should leave…that we don’t have anything to talk about…and that I feel nothing for him.”

Dean pauses for a second and looks up at him, meeting his eyes. His eyes look red and puffy and they are filling with tears, so he reaches with his hand to caress a stubbly cheek. The feeling of dread eating at him, and anger at what Luke did, even if he still doesn’t know. He has an idea, though. 

The blond looks down and sniffs before continuing.

“He got kind of mad when I told him that….’cause when I made to close the door he slammed it open. That’s how my wrist got…” Dean lifts his injured arm for emphasis, and winces a little. It’s already a bit swollen but if it were broken, Dean would be in a lot more pain. “I mean…I know it was an accident…but,” Dean bites his lower lip as he pauses, “I got scared…”

It was evident that Dean was struggling to get things out, but the words coming out sent Aidan over the top with anger. He wishes he’d hit Luke harder.

Dean continues after he smiles warmly at him, encouragingly.

“Aidan…he kissed me…I didn’t want it, I swear…He grabbed me though and wouldn’t let go…he pushed me against the counter and pressed himself against me.” Dean’s tears that have been threatening to fall, start streaming down his cheeks.

“Did Luke…did he…?” He stutters, afraid of the answer.

“No! I…don’t think he would have…he would have stopped…”Dean says solemnly as he looks at the pieces of mug on the floor, trying to convince himself. “I… I broke the mug on his head…then ran out.”

Aidan waits for Dean continue, but apparently, the kiwi wants to say no more so he offers what comfort he can by wrapping his arms gently around the blond -minding his hurt wrist- and holds him against his chest for long minutes, caressing the golden hair and a trembling back. There’s a few sniffs coming from the blond but no sobbing, so he must have stopped crying. 

After a few minutes Dean pulls away and looks to have calmed down considerably…but there’s still that lost stare in his eyes when the blond meets his eyes.

“Are you ok?” he asks, smiling tentatively even if all he feels is anger and need for revenge. 

Dean nods and smiles tightly. “Yeah…it’s just…my wrist hurts.”

“Then let’s go.”

\-------------------------------

They go to the hospital and his wrist is not broken thankfully, but it’ll hurt for a few days. The doctor gave him some painkillers and an anti-inflammatory, and then they’re off. It is quick, just like Aidan said it would, resulting in Aidan smiling triumphantly, which is very cute if someone may ask him.

“Thanks for making me go,” he says smiling shyly, the pain medication starting to do its job already.

“You’re welcome,” Aidan replies and smiles at him sideways while he drives them back ho—back to his apartment. _Back home? Where did that come from?_ “I hope you are feeling better already. How’s the wrist now?”

“Better,” he simply says and smiles to reassure the brunette he is fine, so he’ll stop worrying already. He can see the small frown on Aidan’s brow hasn’t disappeared…when he’s not smiling, of course. Truth is, he’s not quite sure he’s fine, for those few moments with Luke made him feel fear like he’s never felt before -even worse than when he was kicked out of his home and with nowhere to go- he felt so helpless and overpowered…he wishes he’ll never had to go through something like that again, and even though he keeps telling himself that Luke would have never gone _that_ far, he still can’t shake the uncomfortable feeling from his gut. He’s dreading already having to stay alone in his apartment. _What if Luke comes back to avenge his hurt pride…or for payback for me breaking the mug on his head? What if he waits for me near the café…or jumps me when I’m going home late?_

He chases the disturbing thoughts away from his mind by reminding himself that tonight, Aidan will stay with him and that thought soothes him instantly. He regrets though, not having made dinner for Aidan; they’ll have to reschedule.

“Um…do you want to go grab something to eat?” Aidan steals a small glance at him and then looks back at the road. “Or do you prefer to just go home and order take-out?”

“Either way is fine,” he says rather dully so he forces a smile so Aidan won’t notice. He doesn’t really want to go home yet. Just the thought of being in his apartment sends chills down his spine but he says nothing about it.

They get to the apartment and Aidan calls for take-out; he stands in the kitchen, sweeping the mess into a shovel, having told Aidan he wanted to do it when the Irishman offered. He puts the broken mug in the trash and wipes some blood drops from the counter, hand shaking as he does so.

“Do you want to take a shower before the food gets here?” Aidan asks in a soft tone and wraps his arms around him from behind. He lets out a sigh and enjoys the feeling of Aidan’s taller body behind him and the arms around him. 

“Ok...I’ll just end up cleaning here,” he says and turns on Aidan’s arms to face the man, burying his face on the strong chest, breathing in deeply then pulling away. He sets to put the remaining vegetables on the trash and wipe the counter with a dishcloth.

\-----------------------

He surveys the kitchen counter and all the remaining of what seemed to be dinner preparation…the dinner Dean was going to cook for him.

His stomach gives a little twist and he feels really sad for Dean, and frustration for not being here when the kiwi needed him the most. He wants to run out of the apartment and to his truck and drive as fast as possible without getting a speed ticket to his house to beat the shit out of Luke. But Dean needs him here now, and here’s where he needs to be. 

There’s a knock on the door and he doesn’t miss the way Dean tenses where he’s standing, stopping midway from cleaning the counter surface, and looks wearily at the door.

“It must be our food,” he assures Dean and moves towards the blond to put a hand on his shoulder. “Luke won’t come back here…and if he does, I won’t let him get near you.” He looks deeply into Dean’s eyes, meaning every word. Luke would have to kill him first to even touch a hair on the kiwi’s head.

“Ok…I know,” Dean says smiling, clearly more relaxed, and stands a little on his toes to peck him in the cheek. “I’m going to take that shower now, be right back,” he says then walks down the hallway. He has a soft smile on his face while he watches the man disappear into the bathroom, a stupidly dreamy expression more like it, so he quickly washes it away.

He opens the door and it’s in fact their food so he pays the delivery guy and closes the door, then puts the bags on the counter. An idea occurs to him and he hurries to get the required items from the kitchen.

He places the food in plates and arranges the table to look as fancy as it can, with it being a coffee table. He pours their sodas on glasses; he even puts some candles he found in one of the drawers in the kitchen and lights them, then puts the other lights out so the living room is lit with a warm romantic glow. 

It looks pretty good so he smiles in triumph at his work. The bathroom door opens and reveals a flushed looking Dean, all fluffy damp hair and just plain gorgeous. Dean smiles when he spots him.

“What is it? Why are you smiling like that?” Dean asks, smiling awkwardly. He’s still standing outside the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel, so he hasn’t seen their fancy dinner yet.

“No reason, just looking at the most beautiful being in the world,” he says in a meaningful tone, making Dean smile shyly and blush probably, he can’t really see from where he’s standing.

“You are lying,” Dean says with a playful smile.

He shakes his head in denial. “You are to me.” Dean’s smile disappears and they stare at each other in silence for a few seconds, looks speaking louder than words, and he can almost feel the gratitude and love coming from Dean. The blond walks to him and wraps his arms around his waist. He wraps his own around Dean’s back, holding him impossibly close.

“I love you, Aid,” Dean’s muffled voice says from where he’s flush against his chest. It makes his stomach flutter and smiles broadly.

“Love you too, babe,” he replies and kisses the top of Dean’s head.

They separate slowly and look at each other again. Dean becomes aware of his surroundings suddenly and frowns. “Why is the light so…” he stops midsentence when he sees the table, a surprised expression on his face. “What did you do?” the surprise breaks into a huge smile.

“Would you have dinner with me in this fancy table, Sr?” he teases, using his deep voice and holds out his hand for Dean to take.

“I’d love to,” Dean says shyly, but smiling happily. The kiwi takes his offered hand and he leads him towards the table where he waits for Dean to sit on the couch before going around the table to sit himself down.

They eat their food talking and laughing, and he see Dean has relaxed considerably. He really didn’t like how tense and weary the blond was acting before.

They wash the dishes together; Dean soaping them and Aidan washing them; they dry them together.

Once in Dean’s bedroom, after brushing their teeth – Dean handing Aidan a new one he bought for him earlier- they strip down to their underwear and get inside the covers. They don’t need pj’s, they’ll be warm enough cuddling together. Dean falls asleep with Aidan caressing his hair; head on Aidan’s shoulder and arm across his stomach. He smiles contentedly, sighing deeply as he follows Dean into the dream world.

\--------------------------- 

The next day, they wake up at the same time thanks to the sound of Dean’s alarm clock. He looks at the sleepy brunette as he stretches and yawns loudly, a smile forms on his lips and he hugs him tightly across the chest with his good arm. He was able to sleep soundly thanks to Aidan been here with him, feeling safe and comfortable in the Irishman’s presence, and knowing perfectly well that, were Luke to come back, Aidan would surely stand up for him. 

“Good morning beautiful,” Aidan smiles and kisses him softly on the lips. “How’s your wrist?” 

“Better, thank you,” he answers and leans closer to plant his own kiss on Aidan’s lips. It still seems like a dream come true having such a wonderful man beside him. They’re not together officially, but it sure feels like they are. He looks forward to Aidan asking him if he wants to be his boyfriend, to which his answer will be all kinds of yeses… _If he does at all_ , he doubts, brushing it aside quickly. If there’s been any indication that Aidan doesn’t want to be with him, he’s missed it, for the brunette has shown him nothing but love, understanding and care since they met. He wishes he could shake the self doubting thoughts somehow, for he still wonders if he in fact deserves to be with Aidan, but it’s really not easy to shake off something that’s pretty much become part of you in so little time.

“I’ll drive you to work…and maybe we could have breakfast on the way there, so we don’t have to make it…I’m really not in the mood to attempt any sort of cooking.” Aidan says, yawning in between. He thinks about it for a second and nods eagerly; he doesn’t want to cook either.

They get their breakfast, which consists of coffee and doughnuts, not very healthy but still delicious, and head out to eat it in a bench facing a small park, filled with trees, just a few paces away from the doughnut place. It’s a bit cold but the sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day. 

“Are you absolutely sure you can manage working with your wrist like that?” Aidan asks around a mouthful of pink frosted sprinkled doughnut. He giggled internally at Aidan’s choice but found it quite adorable. 

“I’m sure,” he says and rotates his wrist back and forth. It hurts a bit and it’s a little stiff, but the pain and swelling has decreased considerably since yesterday, “and besides, I been working there for only a couple of months, I don’t want to ask for days off just for a sprain.” Aidan looks at him in disapproval so he smiles sheepishly. “I’ll try to make as less effort as possible with it…it’s my left hand anyway.”

“Still…I don’t want you hurting…ever,” Aidan’s tone turns serious and he blushes. _Why do I keep blushing like an idiot?_

“I won’t…hurt myself that is…I’ll be careful…and Orlando will be there so he can help me, maybe,” he says, trying to assure Aidan that he’ll be ok but at Orlando’s mention Aidan visibly cringes. He shouldn’t have mentioned him.

“Yeah, ok,” Aidan says nothing about Orlando and continues to eat his pink doughnut. He sighs and munches on his own chocolate covered and cream filled heavenly piece of dough. “Call me if the pain turns too much and I’ll come get you right away, ok?”

“Ok,” he nods smiling and drowns the dough with some coffee.

They finish breakfast and Aidan drops Dean off to work, sharing a passionate kiss in the car first and saying goodbyes with _I love you_ and _I love you too_.

\---------------------

He drives away towards home –scratch that- to his house, willing himself to be as calm as possible. Being with Dean doing wonders to appease his growing anger, but now that’s the kiwi is no longer soothing him with his presence he feels anger eating at him.

He pulls over. Luke’s car is there so he takes a few deep breaths and gets out of his car and inside the house. Luke is not in the living room, but the mess in the kitchen divulges his former friend’s presence in the house. He struts down the hallway, brows knit together; shoulders set back and head forward. The door is closed so he swings it open with force, startling Luke who didn’t hear him coming, so he smiles with satisfaction.

“Jesus, Aidan! Do you want to kill me?” Luke huffs and sits up in the bed. He has a split lip and bruising around it, and on his brow, a few paper stitches where Dean broke the mug.

“No, not kill you…but I’m thinking that a split lip is way less than you deserve from what you did to Dean.”

“Oh, c’mon, that was an accident,” Luke retorts, “and I should punch you back for hitting me for no reason. I had to cancel two gigs for next week. Are you going to pay me for them? Is Dean? I don’t think so.”

“No reason? You seriously think I had no reason to hit you?” Aidan hands in tight fists at his sides, voice filled with anger, “you are a bigger asshole than I give you credit for.”

“Fuck off, Aidan,” Luke flips him off. 

He takes a deep breath and walks a few paces closer to the bed. “I don’t think you understand the severity of what you did, which is not surprising at all given the fact you don’t get shit about human behavior, so I’m gonna have to explain it to you.”

“Oh, great, another one of your sermons; let me get comfortable,” Luke says sarcastically but actually does arrange his position on the bed. “Go on buddy, I’m dying to hear what you have to say.”

“You are such a dick!” he snaps. “I can’t believe I wasted so many years being your friend.”

He’s not sure if he’s seeing wrong or it’s the fact that Luke’s bedroom has bad lighting at the moment, given the curtains are closed, but he sees a flash of pain cross Luke’s face…emotional pain.

“Wow. Do you realize everything was fine just a few weeks back? You never questioned you choosing of friends before…not until that little bitch came about.”

Anger boils I his gut and he fights to contain himself, although he’s not sure why. Luke deserves a lesson.

“You have a split lip and a bruised jaw on your precious little face because you called Dean a bitch…are you sure it’s a good idea to repeat it in front of me?” he threatens, Luke shrugs and adverts his gaze. He reaches over to his nightstand to his pack of cigarettes and fetches one, lighting it with his gun lighter, taking a long drag from it.

“So you and _Dean_ …you are together now?” Luke asks, making emphasis on the blonds name exaggeratedly.

“Don’t change the subject,” he says harshly. “Dean was pretty shook up yesterday…he was scared, Luke, scared of you. He wasn’t very descriptive of what happened but I have a pretty good idea of how it went.”

“I told you, it was an acc…”

“It wasn’t!” he yells at Luke, interrupting him abruptly, who takes another long drag and lets the smoke out through his nose. “Luke, you forced yourself on him…he told you to go and you didn’t; he told you he didn’t want you to kiss him and you didn’t listen, so you forced him, because you and your stupid pride can’t fathom the idea of someone not drooling over you.”

“He told you I forced him?”

“Yes…and don’t even try to deny it,” he stops Luke before he can argue. “I know what the truth is…although probably in your sick, twisted mind it looked like Dean was enjoying himself.”

“I’m not a rapist,” Luke says defensively. 

“Would you have stopped if Dean hadn’t broken the mug on your head?” he argues and Luke adverts his gaze again, seemingly contemplating the question. 

“I wouldn’t have gone as far as to…” Luke says after a few seconds. His cool breaking apart, revealing a whole new side of him. He looks…disturbed, so he takes advantage of that small slip.

“Did he look like he was enjoying himself?” he asks the other brunette, cigarette consuming itself in his hand, barely smoked; ash threatening to fall on the bed covers.

At that, Luke meets his gaze again, shame written on his face and knows he’s hit a nerve.

“I didn’t mean to scare him…I thought he’d forgive me for the whole Orlando thing, thought he wanted to…be with me.” 

“You thought wrong.” He says and Luke nods solemnly, realization sinking into him, finally. “Normally I’d tell you to apologize to him…but I don’t want you near him. _He_ doesn’t want you near.”

“Whatever,” Luke says, drifting back to his arrogant -I don’t give shit- self.

He turns to leave but stops midway.

“Oh, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he says and Luke looks up, “Why Dean? Every weekend you find someone different to fuck, never bothering to even remember their names, let alone become their boyfriend. Was it because I liked him too and you wanted to fuck me over?”

“I happen to liked Dean, you know? Well…more than others.” Luke puts down the consumed cigarette and lights another, “and no, it wasn’t to fuck you over, I was just teasing you.”

“When you like someone, you make an effort…you don’t cheat on them at the first chance you get.” 

“It wasn’t the first chance I got…” Luke defends himself but he can only let out a sigh of defeat.

“Then I guess you deserve a praise,” he snarls, sarcasm evident in his voice. “Well done, Luke.”

“Fuck off, Aidan.” 

“No, you fuck off!” he snaps, “…and stay away from Dean. He doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

“Right…’cause he’s with you now,” Luke says somewhat bitterly. 

“Yes,” he says firmly, he knows he sounds a bit possessive, but Luke needs to understand that Dean’s not available for him anymore, and that he’s not waiting for Luke to show up and take him. Dean and Luke are through and Luke needs to get that in his thick brain.

He turns to leave because to him, the conversation is over, but Luke and his big mouth, and that stupid, uncontainable need to annoy the people around him forces him to say something stupid, very stupid.

“Hope you can keep that little slut satisfied; he seems to love big cocks…think you are big enough fo-…” Luke can’t say no more, for his fist collides with an unprotected cheekbone as he swung unexpectedly towards the brunette on the bed, hearing a slight crack.

“You’ve never known when to shut up,” he snaps as he arranges his clothing, watching Luke groan and moan in pain, covering the left side of his face with his hand. He turns towards the door and this time he does leave.

He seriously regrets having to take such drastic actions against Luke, but the man gave him no choice; he’s not going to just stand there and let Luke bad talk Dean. And just when it seemed like Luke was getting the idea.

He decides to pay Adam visit, since he hasn’t told him anything about what has happened yesterday. He must be worried also, for there’s like thirty messages from him he hasn’t had the time to answer.

He knocks on the perfectly painted white door and just then realises his hand is pretty sore from the blow, so rubbing his hand he waits for Adam to answer.

“It’s open,” Adam chirps form inside and he turns the door handle. The door is indeed open so he enters the apartment and closes the door behind. “Kitchen,” Adam chirps again and he walks the small distance towards it. 

Something smells delicious and his mouth waters. He had breakfast already but he would never be able to turn down Adam’s cooking. “Making breakfast?” he asks as he enters the kitchen but immediately freezes in the spot. He really wasn’t expecting Graham to be there having breakfast with Adam.

“Oh…sorry,” he stutters, “um…hi…Graham.”

“Good morning, Aidan” Graham says politely, smiling. They seem to have finished and they are just sitting around, talking.

“Good-” he starts saying but gets interrupted by Adam, who is on his feet and starts questioning him with worry in his tone and face.

“What happened yesterday, Aidan? I left you like ten messages. Why didn’t you answer?” Adam says and he’s about to reply with a tease about it actually being thirty, which is the truth, but Graham is here; he’s not as bad a friend as to embarrass Adam in front of his crush. Not so soon at least.

“Oh, well…” he steals a glance at Graham and the man immediately understands, thankfully.

“Don’t mind me, I was just about to leave, actually.” Graham says and stands up smiling politely at Adam. “Thank you, Adam, for the delicious breakfast…and for last night.” The Scottish takes Adam’s chin gently in his big hand and kisses him lightly on the cheek, then turns to him. “Nice to see you again, Aidan.”

“You too,” he says smiling back and the man leaves the kitchen. Adam looks all flustered and has a shameful expression on his face when he turns to him. He smiles devilishly as he looks at Adam knowingly.

“It’s not what you think,” Adam says in his defense and starts cleaning the table nervously.

“What do you mean?” he asks innocently.

“That is not what you think…last night…nothing happened, ok?”

“Hey, chill man, I’m not judging you. You like him so it’s cool…and he likes you too so it was bound to happen eventually.”

“Aidan, you know I don’t jump to bed in the first date…it wasn’t even a date…he just came for a drink and we talked…then he stayed the night but only because he fell asleep while we were watching a movie,” Adam explains a bit exasperated while drying a cup with a dishcloth rather obsessively. 

“Adam!” he snaps at his flipping friend. “I believe you, ok. Either way you don’t have to explain yourself to me, you know?”

“I know is just…what if he thinks I’m too forward? What if he gets scared…he said he’s never had a relationship with a man before.” Adam says and places the clean cup on the table.

“I don’t think you need to worry about that. He was very confident when he said he likes you. I doubt he has problem with you being forward. He was pretty forward himself.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right.” Adam visibly relaxes and sits down again, motioning for him to do so as well. “I just really like him. I think this could be something good.”

He smiles broadly at his friend; happy that he’s found someone he likes this much. Adam tends to be a bit too picky when it comes to being in a relationship. He does flirt around though but it’s very hard for him to find someone he likes enough to share his life with.

“I’m happy for you,” he says honestly, smiling fondly. “You deserve to be happy.”

“Thank you, Aid, but let’s not get too emotional,” Adam teases, “I don’t want to have to cry in front of you.”

He laughs at that and is about to answer bur Adam interrupts him.

“You still haven’t told me what happened.”

“Oh…right.” He says solemnly, his mood changing abruptly.

Adam looks worried again but and encourages him to speak. “Did something happen to Dean?” 

He nods while Adam serves him some tea. “Yes.”

“What happened?” Adam frowns.

“Yesterday, when he called me, he sounded really weird. I knew it was something bad so that’s why I rushed out without telling you anything, sorry about that,” Adam nods and looks expectantly, waiting for him to continue. “When I got there, he was pretty upset. He was waiting for me outside in the street, his arm was hurt and he looked visibly scared. I didn’t know what happened, and he didn’t want to say anything but eventually mentioned Luke. He told me how he broke a mug on Luke's head.”

“What? Why?” Adam interrupts, clearly upset by that.

“Luke forced himself upon him,” he says tightly and Adam opens his eyes to twice their size. “He didn’t actually do anything but…who knows what could have happened. Luke’s so full of himself I don’t know if he would have stopped if Dean hadn’t gotten away, thinking Dean wanted it.”

“Oh my God, poor Dean,” Adam says in shock. “What did you do? Did you see Luke after that?”

“Yes. When I got there he was still in Dean’s apartment…when he came out to meet us I punched him in the face.” Adam lifts his eyebrows at that and clears his throat. “I punched him again this morning.”

“Wow…Aid…I’m sorry,” Adam places a reassuring hand on his shoulder, knowing that punching one’s former best friend mustn’t be easy. “He deserved it, though. I can’t imagine how scared Dean must have felt.”

“Yeah, he was freaked out…I stayed with him last night.”

“Good, he must have really needed you.”

He nods in response and they both stay in silence for a few seconds.

“I got an idea!” Adam chirps excitedly suddenly, startling him a bit.

“Wow, easy there,” he teases and Adam scowls.

“We could make a drinking night here with the guys…not Luke of course, to properly introduce Dean into the group, since he’s going to be your boyfriend eventually, we might as well get to know him. It might help him knowing he’s got other people aside from you he can rely on if he so needs to.”

He smiles sheepishly at the boyfriend thing. He seriously can’t wait to ask Dean, the thought sending butterflies to his stomach. He was planning on asking Dean if he wants to be his boyfriend yesterday night after dinner, but that went to hell. He decides it’s best if he waits a few days for Dean to cool off and plan something special.

“That’s actually a great idea,” he says cheerfully, “He felt pretty lonely before we met, he could use a group of friends supporting him aside from me.”

“See?” Adam smiles happily. “I have the best ideas ever.”

“I never said you didn’t.” Adam smiles, proud of his idea, but the smile fades suddenly.

“Aid?”

“Yeah?”

“About Luke… do you think Dean should file a restraining order…you know, in case Luke wants to bother him again?”

He thinks about it for a moment, considering the idea.

“I don’t think so,” he says softly. “I’ll make sure Luke doesn’t bother him again. And besides…Luke’s not a bad guy, you know, deep down. He’s a jerk, yes, but I doubt he will try anything again, and he’s not even revengeful. He looked pretty upset when I told him he had forced Dean.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right.”Adam nods at this and sighs. “So…do you want scramble eggs or what?”

“You know I do.”


	20. Chapter twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long to update this. Been sort of busy and away and then I planed on updating like last week by throwing myself head first into writing but wasn't counting on writers block come biting me in the ass, and also, I just finished this and edited it real quickly cause i wanted to post it right away, so there might be more mistakes than usual... so sorry again...and I hope you enjoy this :D

Leaving the sandwich on the table, Dean fishes out his phone and answers, a smile already forming on his lips. 

“Deano?” Aidan’s voice sounds on the other end and a warm feeling spreads through his stomach.

“Hey, how are you?” he greets happily.

“Great now that I’m listening to your voice.” He smiles at that. “And you? How’s your wrist?” He takes notice of his wrist and there’s a slight discomfort but nothing too bad.

“Me too, and my wrist is fine, I miss you though…” he dares and Aidan coos.

“Aw, I miss you too babe, but we gotta work…it sucks!” Aidan replies and he laughs.

“Yeah…wish I could be with you all the time,” he says ending in a whisper.

“Me too, babe. Hey, why don’t you quit and come to work with me?” Aidan suggests jokingly and he giggles.

“I doubt I’d be of any help…I can’t even hammer a nail straight.”

Aidan laughs loudly. “Don’t care. I’d just re-do everything you mess up as long as I can have you around all the time. It’d double the work but I’d be totally worth it.”

“I should be offended, but it’s true, I’d mess all up.”

“You can’t mess anything up, babe, you’re perfect,” Aidan says lovingly and he blushes like he always does when Aidan says something sweet. Thankfully, the Irishman isn’t there to see it this time. He giggles in response, fighting the urge to say something self loathing in response. “So… what are you doing?”

“Having lunch, and you?” he asks, willing the blush away.

“Me? Nah, I’m just panting…and thinking about you, of course” he smiles at that.

“I think about you too…I can barely concentrate on orders…good thing Orlando doesn’t nag me anymore, he feels guilty I guess.”

Aidan laughs, “Good. He deserves that. Try and give him a harder time if you can.”

He giggles again. “Aidan?” 

“Yeah, babe?” 

“I love you.” 

He loves to say it. He used to say it to his ex all the time but the words lost meaning in the end; he didn’t actually feel it anymore but continued to say it automatically. But now, with Aidan, they had a whole new meaning, and he wonders if this is the first time he’s ever been in love, actually in love.

“I love you back,” Aidan replies lovingly and his heart skips a beat. He gives a small chuckle in response.

“I have to go now…just got a couple of minutes left and I need to pee,” he says sadly. “Will I see you tonight?” he asks tentatively. He doesn’t know if Aidan will go to his apartment later or pick him up after work, either one is fine by him, as long as Aidan is there with him tonight. 

“Of course, babe, I’ll pick up after work. Is six thirty ok?”

“Yeah, perfect,” he says smiling. “See you then?”

“See you then, gorgeous.” 

The call ends and he’s left smiling from ear to ear as he goes to the small bathroom in the changing room. He relieves his bladder and washes his hands, then steps outside to get on with what’s left of his shift.

Orlando is already making coffee and nods at him towards the recently arrived customers, a mother and two kids in one of the tables right by the window, to take their orders. He walks over to them then goes back to Orlando to place the order and sets to clean some of the empty tables, then goes back to the counter when Orlando calls him to take the sandwiches and sodas back to the mom and kids, careful not to strain his hurt wrist unnecessarily. 

It’s pretty slow at lunchtime, people preferring to eat elsewhere, so it gives him time to relax. 

“Seen any good moves lately?” he casually starts making small talk with Orlando, who’d normally excitedly tell him about this great movie he saw with his girlfriend, but now he just shakes his head in denial.

“You?” 

“Um…a couple. I can’t remember the names but they were pretty good, especially the one with…” He never finishes that sentence, for a new customer enters the café and comes towards them so he turns to face them. His blood runs cold.

“There you are, you little bitch,” Luke says spitefully and he feels as if his stomach has drop down to the floor. “Want to tell me, what’s all this shit about me forcing you?”

“L-Luke, I…” he stutters, looking desperately at Orlando for some sort of help.

“Luke, what the hell, there are customers here,” Orlando huffs angrily but Luke brushes him off.

“Stay out of this,” Luke snaps at the other man, and all the while he prays to somehow disappear. He looks over Luke’s shoulder at the mom and kids and the mom is looking worriedly at them, probably scared for her children were some sort of fight start between them.

“I don’t care about your business, but if you are going to make a scene, do it in the locker room.” Orlando says firmly and Luke miraculously obeys, yanking him by the arm and bringing him with. Luke lets him go as they enter the room, shoving him a little bit harder than necessary towards the center.

“Now…what the fuck are you trying to do?!” Luke practically yells. He cringes, fumbling nervously with his apron. “You beg me to fuck you, then a few days later I fucking touch you and you cry rape?!”

He looks over at the other man, trying to figure out what to say. Luke’s face is a mess covered with bruises and cuts, the cut he perpetuated looking quite innocent compared to the damage Aidan made.

“I’m not trying to do anything. I just want you to leave me alone,” he manages to say, without sounding nearly as terrified as he is. He’d begged silently for Orlando to offer some sort of help out of outside’s situation, but leading him into an enclosed space with and enraged Luke is no help at all.

“I should bust your face right now,” Luke whispers menacingly and takes a few steps closer, forcing him to do so back and closer to the lockers. “My ex best friend punched me twice…and now he thinks I’m some sort of sexual aggressor...all because of you, you whiny little slut!”

His heart is about to fall of his chest and it’s hard to breathe. In his mind, Luke’s words start making sense and guilt starts plaguing him. 

“I didn’t mean…for it to be this way,” he says apologetically, though what is he apologizing for? He doesn’t know, it just comes out as a reflex from his guilt riddled mind. He doesn’t dare to meet Luke’s eyes, scared of the anger that’ll greet him if he does. “You weren’t stopping…I got scare-” He had been expecting some violent reaction from Luke, but being backhanded still surprised him enough for him to lose his balance and clash back first against the lockers. 

“You better shut the fuck up, Dean,” Luke says menacingly. “I didn’t hit Aidan because he’s my friend. Don’t think I won’t hit you because you act like some defenseless bitch!”

The words stung harder than the slap, and it was a very hard slap. He brings his fingers to touch his upper lip and they come up bloody, hand shaking.

“What was that?” Orlando comes barging in. “What the hell, guys, there are customers out there and they are getting worried.” Luke turns to look at Orlando.

The blood on his hands; this whole situation and Luke’s demeaning way of referring to him snaps something inside him. He looks up at Luke who is arguing with Orlando and his hand instinctively forms a fist, and when Luke turns to him again, as if guided by outer forces, his fist collides hard against the taller man’s jaw; the force of the impact and the effect of surprise causing Luke to fall back against the couch, holding a hand against his abused jaw. His previously split lip reopens and blood starts pouring out of it.

“Oh, you’re fucked now,” Luke threatens, furious at being hit and comes at him. He just knows he’s going to get beaten, he knows there’s no way out of it and he’ll just have to endure the pain. He doesn’t cower though. He stands his ground and looks as menacing as he can with his short height. Luckily, Orlando holds Luke back before he can reach him.

“No, Luke, stop!” Orlando tries in vain to calm Luke down, circling his arms around the enraged man tightly.

He balls his fists and starts hissing; “You are a coward. You hit me because you know you can take me. I bet you are afraid of Aidan, that’s why you didn’t hit him. It’s not because you care about him. You don’t give a shit about anyone, you self centered bastard!” He knows it’s a cheap shot, but it’s effective. Luke stops trying to get to him. 

“Don’t encourage him, Dean!” Orlando chastises him and turns to Luke. “Luke, get out of here!” 

“Stay the fuck away from me,” he says as strongly as he can and miraculously, Luke backs down.

“Don’t worry, _Dean_ , you won’t see me again,” Luke says his name in spite and grabs his crotch, “…or this. Don’t miss it too bad, slut.” 

He cringes at the obscene gesture and harsh words but says nothing and just watches Luke walk away, but of course, the man turns around to say one more thing. 

“Oh, and If you care about Aidan, you should stay away from him. He deserves way better than a drunk whore like you.”

The words hurt, terribly so, but he tries to brush them aside. Aidan wants to be with him and that’s all that matters. The tears in his eyes threaten to fall but he wills them away. He won’t fall into that asshole’s games.

When Orlando turns to him after Luke’s gone, he hides his face so the man can’t see the effect Luke’s words have on him.

“Are you ok?” Orlando asks and points out, “your hands are trembling.”

He is in fact trembling, his hands mainly, and his knees feel about to give in, the adrenaline leaving him and rendering him weak and wobbly.

“You can go home if you need to. I’ll call one of the new kids. It shouldn’t be a problem,” Orlando says and walks towards him to help him sit down. 

He shakes his head in denial. “I’ll be out there in a minute. I just …need a moment,” he assures Orlando but the other man seems unconvinced.

“Are you sure you are ok?” 

He smiles and sniffs, then meets Orlando’s eyes. “I am.”

“Ok…but let me give you some ice for that,” Orlando points to his lip and he touches it, flinching at the pain. He smiles though for it feels like a war mark, one he was able to return. His knuckles hurt too so he puts his other hand over them, amazed at the strength he must have mustered. He hadn’t punched anyone in a long time - not since high school and some kids where bugging him for being gay- and it felt liberating. Besides, Luke really deserved it.

Orlando comes back with an ice pack and a can of soda.

“Thank you,” he says and takes the offered items, going for the soda first and taking a sip, then applying the ice pack gently over his lip.

“I don’t know what happened…and I’m not going to ask…but I’m glad you are with Aidan now. He seems to really care about you,” Orlando says and turns to leave. “Stay here all you need, I’ll handle things for a while. It’s pretty slow today, anyway.”

“Thank you,” he says again and looks towards the door as Orlando leaves, smiling. Maybe he and Orlando can be friends after all.

After going to the bathroom to wash his face and straightening his hair and clothes he goes out to continue working, feeling a lot better about himself than he’s felt in a while. 

The day is pretty slow, like Orlando said, so he gets plenty of free time in between to text Jared.

_Hey, Deannie! How are you?_

_I’m great! I’m at work though, and you?_

He’s not planning on telling Jared anything about Luke. The last thing he wants is to worry his friend unnecessarily when he’s so far away to do anything about it. Jared would flip and would want to come and beat Luke up, then drag him by the arm back to New Zealand.

_Great! I’m dating this girl. I know it’s early days but I really like her._

He smiles brightly, happy for his friend and types an answer. 

They chat for almost the rest of his shift, him intermittently going to take orders and clearing tables but getting back to his friend as soon as he could. Jared’s never being much into sharing his heart issues, but when he does it’s because he’s certain that it’s leading to something solid and stable, so it’s a wonder he decided to tell him about this girl he’s been dating for two weeks only. She must be really special. They also talk about his growing relationship with Aidan, but he leaves the details for later when they can Skype. Jared still doesn’t know about their first time, or their second time, so he decides to tell him in person…well, through the screen. 

His shift is over, so he goes to the back to change. He putts on his jacket and then wraps his scarf around his neck, covering his mouth with it, and his split lip in the process. He’s been trying to figure out how to tell Aidan about Luke’s visit for hours but nothing comes to mind, so he dreads the moment Aidan spots his injured lip. Maybe he doesn’t have to tell him…

\------------------------- 

It’s a big house and he’s been painting all day, the smell making him sick already, so he’s extremely glad when he’s finished for the day. Adam invited him over for later and was very adamant on him bringing Dean with him, so they can _talk_ and _get to know each other_. He’s not sure if Dean is ready for that kind of interrogatory just yet, but on the other hand, Dean could do with the distraction. 

He’s got time to go home and shower before heading off to the café, so he does just that. 

Luke’s not home and his mind immediately creates an image of him being at the café right now with Dean and fear creeps up on him. Stepping out of the shower and drying hastily he puts on his clothes and shoes, then, grabbing his car keys and jacket he rushes out of the house, willing himself to calm down. Even though it’s highly unlikely Luke would go over there when there are customers and other workers he can’t shake the feeling that he needs to worry about something.

It’s six thirty two and as he gets closer to the café, he can see Dean waiting for him outside. He wants to chastise him for not waiting inside but he keeps it to himself. He doesn’t want to act oppressive, even if he’s only trying to protect Dean.

He pulls over and Dean walks closer to the car, opens the door and gets inside.

“Hey babe, how are you? How was your day?” he asks cheerfully and studies the blonds’ expression. There’s something going on, he just knows it.

“Good,” Dean replies simply, not turning to look at him directly, also, the kiwi’s not leaning over to kiss him either, which is even weirder and he feels slightly anxious. 

“It doesn’t sound like it. Are you ok?” he asks, weary of the answer. “Did something happen today?”

Dean seems a bit uncomfortable at the question and looks down at his lap. Yes, something definitely happened.

“Dean? Did Luke…” he starts but gets interrupted.

“I’ll tell you…but at the apartment,” Dean’s soft voice answers and his stomach tightens on a knot.

Now he’s starting to freak out. Dean looks at him sideways and very briefly, he doesn’t look to be scared, but something has happened for sure. 

“Ok,” he nods and starts the engine. Weariness envelopes him and he needs to know, but he doesn’t push Dean into telling him right away. They’re five minutes away from Dean’s apartment anyway. He can wait five minutes.

He pulls over in front of Dean’s apartment and turns of the engine. He’s about to start talking when Dean practically jumps out of the car. He follows suit and they walk up the stairs in awkward silence.

Once inside Dean’s apartment, he walks up to where Dean is taking his jacket and scarf off, back turned to him.

“Dean?” he says tentatively, placing a hand on the blonds’ shoulder to make him turn.

He’s not prepared for what’s revealed when Dean faces him. There’s a bruise forming on his upper lip where a cut stands out against Dean’s pale skin. For seconds, he can’t even think. He can’t even make his brain work to get a reaction, but when the reality of the situation hits him, he sees red.

“What the fuck, Dean?!” he didn’t intend on his words to sound so harsh but it’s the first that comes out. He reaches out as gently as he can and takes the blonds’ face in his hands to inspect the wound closely.

“Aid…please don’t freak out,” Dean tries to calm him. He lets go of the kiwi’s face and runs his hands through his curls. “Please, calm down.”

“How the fuck am I going to calm down?” he asks exasperatedly, “Luke hit you.” He turns around and starts pacing around the living room. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“No!” Dean yells. 

“Why not?!” Aidan yells back, angered by the whole situation. He’s obviously not planning on killing Luke but he is planning on doing severe damage if necessary. 

“I don’t want you to do anything!” Dean says and practically begs, “Please.”

“You can’t expect me to not do something,” he stubbornly says. Dean must be crazy to ask him something like that.

“Yes I can,” Dean says calmly, “I hit him back and that’s that. He says he’s not going to bother me anymore, so there’s nothing more to do. You don’t have to do anything.”

“You hit him?” He doesn’t intend to sound so surprised, but his surprised tone seems to hurt Dean a bit. He really wasn’t expecting the kiwi to say that.

“Yeah…and pretty hard too.” Dean sounds a bit proud. “My hand still kinda hurts, actually.” Dean lifts his hand for emphasis. 

He smiles in response for Dean looks very proud and it’s super cute. He takes Dean’s hand to inspect the damage closer but there is none thankfully, just aftermath’s pain.

“I’m glad you did it then,” he says sincerely, then hesitates. “I’m worried about you, though. What if…”

Dean smiles and interrupts him, “Thank you, but I really think he’s not going to bother me again.”

He doesn’t believe it, but he wants to.

“I hope you are right, babe,” he says lovingly and walks towards Dean to wrap him with his arms. Dean immediately relaxes in his embrace and he kisses the golden strands. “I’m still going to have to do something about it.”

Dean grunts and pulls away a bit to look him in the eyes.

“Aid, I really appreciate that you are so protective of me but…” Dean sighs, “I don’t want you to think that you have to protect me all the time…I don’t want you to.”

“But Dean, you can’t ask me to do nothing,” he insists, “let Luke have his way?”

“Please Aid,” Dean sighs and looks straight at him, “you’ve done enough for me. And today I proved to Luke and myself that I can defend myself, and it’s kind of a big deal for me, but it would lose significance if you’d go over there and beat him up again.”

He understands now. Dean needs to feel in some sort of control and he respects that, but still, it feels wrong to let Luke have his way.

“But what did he want?” he asks in frustration, sighing. “Why did he felt the need to go after you again?”

“He wanted…he wanted to know why…” Dean stutters, unsure of how to continue apparently. “He was upset about me thinking he wanted to…take advantage of me…and because I told you,” Dean pauses and sighs. “He was upset to know you’d think that of him,” he explains. “He didn’t really come after me…guess he just wanted to know why I’d think that he could do something like… _that_.”

He sees Dean visibly cringing and looking down in shame.

“…maybe I overreacted.”

“You had every reason to think that,” he states strongly. “You said so yourself. He grabbed you and wouldn’t let you go. He ignored the fact you told him to stop and he kissed you and touched you anyways, and would have probably gone way farther had you not stopped him. He’s the one who’s wrong here. He blames you ‘cause he just doesn’t want to face the truth of what he did.”

Dean nods and sighs deeply. “Still…we should leave this the way it is.”

“But he hit you…and what’s worse is that he knows he has the upper hand.” Aidan paces, still visibly angry. “He could have seriously hurt you.”

“Well, he didn’t.” Dean assures.

“And what did he do after you hit him? Did he just leave?” Aidan asks in doubt, for it doesn’t make any sense to him Luke would just walk away after being punched.

“He uh…” Dean stutters and he feels his stomach cramp up, “…Orlando was there…he held him back and made him leave.”

“Ah, see?” he exclaims and Dean looks down in shame. “What do you think would have happened if Orlando hadn’t been there?” Dean looks uncomfortable but he presses on. “Luke is messed up, you don’t know what he’s capable off…neither do I.” He stares at Dean for a few seconds in silence, studying his reaction. “You have to be more careful, Dean.”

“I know!” Dean snaps and regrets it immediately. “I…I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok,” he assures Dean with a smile.

“I just…I want you to leave it alone,” Dean says softly. “I’m sure Luke won’t come after me again.”

“Ok, I won’t.” He hugs Dean against his chest and rubs his back soothingly. His brain screams _restraining order_ but he brushes it aside. He'll mention it to Dean later, when he's more calmed.

“You should be the first cheering me on to go after Luke,” he says and Dean looks up at him frowning. “Why don’t you want me to go?” 

“Well…I don’t want you to fight with him. You are his friend.”

“Not anymore,” Aidan says dryly.

“But you were…and it seems like it really hurts him that you’re not anymore,” Dean says in anguish and he’s quick to brush it off.

“I don’t care, Dean. He’s an asshole…he was never a good friend anyway.”

“I feel guilty, somehow,” Dean says dejectedly.

“Don’t!” he says sternly. “Dean, you have nothing to do with this; don’t you dare blame yourself over this.”

“It still is my fault somehow…” Dean insists and he has to sigh in frustration. “If it weren’t for me you two would still be friends.”

“Well then I guess I have to thank you,” he counters back, “If it weren’t for you I would’ve never realized what an asshole Luke is.”

Dean looks up at him in wonder.

“See? I owe you, even.” He smiles and Dean blushes. 

“I think you overestimate me, Aid,” Dean says, wearing a shy smile on his face. “You always think the best of me and I’m coming up short…literally.”

He laughs loudly at Dean’s attempt at a joke but he knows deep down, those words were meant…really meant.

“Even though that was funny, because you are kind of short…” Dean laughs and looks down. “…I still hate it that you are so self depreciating.”

\----------------

Aidan’s words have their effect and he looks down in shame. 

“I’m sorry…it’s just…kinda hard to stop,” he confesses, “been doing it for a long time.”

“You must try harder, Dean. I’ll make sure you do,” Aidan says sweetly and leans forward to kiss his brow. He blushes of course and smiles back.

“Why are you so good to me?” he asks in a whisper. He knows why, but he still has doubts if it’s right for him to be so lucky; to have found someone as amazing as Aidan and having him loving him so.

“Because you deserve it…and because I love you…and you are perfect to me,” Aidan says in a hushed tone, looking at him deeply. “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes and then you’d realize how perfect you really are.”

He’s struck by the love in Aidan’s voice and stare, and he feels joy swelling in him. This feels right and there’s a reason why he’s been blessed with someone like Aidan. Maybe Aidan’s right after all. Maybe he does deserve this.

He clings unto the Irishman’s neck and kisses him hungrily; Aidan’s arms immediately holding him closer, tight against his chest.

“I love you too,” he says and caresses Aidan’s scruffy face, “so much.”

“I’m so thankful to Jared,” Aidan says suddenly and he frowns in confusion. “If it weren’t for him you wouldn’t have come here and we would have never met.” 

“Oh, yeah…I have to thank him,” he smiles and they kiss again. 

It’s in fact thanks to Jared he’s found Aidan, and he contemplates for a few seconds all the events that led him here, into Aidan’s arms. If he thinks about it, it’s even a good thing that Craig was an asshole or he would have never need to leave New Zealand…and even Luke, who was obviously a mistake played an important part in all this. It’s weird how faith works.

“Um…Dean?” Aidan interrupts his train of thought and he looks up to meet those beautiful eyes.

“Yes?”

“We kind of have an invitation to Adam’s…for like, now…but if you don’t want to come…” Aidan says distractedly as he detaches himself from their embrace and starts rummaging in the cabinets in the kitchen, in search for something to eat, most likely. “…then it’s totally fine.”

“To Adam’s?” he asks nervously. 

He’s terrified at the idea of meeting with Aidan’s friends again. What would they think of him now that he’s with Aidan? And that he’s the actual cause Luke and Aidan aren’t friends anymore?

“Yeah, ‘cause, you know…he’s my actual best friend and I want you guys to get along,” Aidan says matter of factly - interrupting his musings- as he moves to the fridge, still in search of food.

“Ok…great,” he says hesitantly.

“Is something wrong?” Aidan asks as he turns to look him, munching on some ham.

“No…just…will someone else be there?” he asks as he fidgets with a dishcloth.

“No, just the two us,” Aidan seems to read the worry in his face; “the guys won’t be there…Luke neither of course. I know you are sort of nervous about meeting the guys again. We can do that at your own pace. But Adam’s cool. He’s the only one that knows about us becoming …a thing.”

“Oh…and what does he think about it?” his nervousness has subsided greatly but still holds onto him. Who knows what Adam thinks about him?

“I think he’s in,” Aidan says calmly. “I haven’t really asked him but he seemed cool about the idea.”

He sighs relived and nods. “Then we should go.”

“Seriously?” Aidan asks in surprise, as if he was expecting him not to want to come.

“Yeah, seriously,” he assures smiling, “I want to get to know your friends and what better than to start with your best friend?”

“Yeah, you are right,” Aidan smiles and closes the refrigerator. 

\----------------------------------

“Besides, I really like Adam, he looks very sweet,” Dean says smiling and walks towards his room.

“Don’t be fooled by appearances, Deano,” He jokes, half jokes actually, for Adam might seem sweet to the rest, but when someone gets on his bad side he can be really mean. Dean turns to face him with a worried expression on his face which he laughs away. “I’m kidding…though it can be kind of hard to get on his good side, ‘cause he’s sort of protective of his friends…but I’m sure you’ll do great.”

Dean looks terrified now and he curses his stupid big mouth.

“What if he hates me, Aidan?” Dean asks frowning. “What will happen then? He’s your best friend…and I can’t...”

“Stop, Dean,” he says interrupting Dean. “Adam is going to love you and even if he doesn’t, which is highly unlikely, he still has to accept you because he’s my friend, and he’ll be happy that I am happy with you.”

Dean looks insecure again as he studies the floor. 

“But what about that guy you went out with?” Dean asks in a low voice, not meeting his eyes, “…the one Adam chased away?”

He thinks for a few seconds, trying to figure out who Dean is talking about and then he remembers that conversation they had in the pub. 

“Oh, don’t even compare yourself to him, Dean,” he assures. “You are so much more important to me than that guy…and Adam’s right; he was with me only for my looks…not that I can blame him but...”

Dean laughs at his bad joke and he smiles smugly in return.

“Dean, seriously, stop worrying, he’ll love you.”

“I’m good with him just accepting me…but ok,” Dean shrugs smiling.

He laughs and walks over to the blond, hugging the small frame tightly, hopefully in a reassuring way which Dean returns just as tightly. They kiss tenderly and slowly for a few moments before parting.

“So, I’ll call him, tell him we’re going. Ok?”

“Yeah,” Dean nods enthusiastically. 

\-------------------------------

They are ready to go in thirty minutes, Dean still a bit insecure but also glad that he’ll meet Adam properly and more relived to know Adam actually wanted him to come along, since Aidan put the speaker on and he could hear himself how exited Adam sounded at knowing they both were coming.

They got there fairly fast and Aidan was knocking on Adam’s door in no time. The building was beautiful, so much better than his own and he feels sort of self conscious that Aidan has to be there most of the time because they can’t go to his house for obvious reasons. Aidan probably doesn’t like it there but has no choice.

“I can hear you thinking hard,” Aidan says suddenly. “Stop worrying.”

He sighs and nods and prepares himself for Adam opening the door. 

“Coming!” they hear from the inside and just a few seconds later a smiling Adam greets them on the other side of the door. “Come in. I’m so glad you could come, Dean.” Adam says and hauls him towards him with surprising strength for someone so thin and wraps him in a hug. “Aidan wanted you all for himself apparently. Since I heard that you guys are together I wanted to meet with you both but had to settle for Aidan only.”

Adam speaks slowly and very enthusiastically and he can see he’s been honest so he lets all the worry go and smiles brightly in return.

“Had to settle for me only?” Aidan says feigning hurt and entering the apartment as if he owns it, taking off his jacket and throwing it casually on one of the couches, and then going to the kitchen apparently, “what kind of crap is that?” 

He’s left alone with Adam so he turns to thank him for the invitation. 

“I’m glad you invited me…us,” he says awkwardly, “I also wanted to meet with you after...”

He stops midsentence, feeling very nervous all of a sudden. He’s met Adam in the worst conditions possible; drunk all the time and wantonly making out with Luke. He can almost feel the judgment coming from Adam, but he knows it’s only his imagination. He has to stop being so self punishing.

“Dean,” Adam says in a serious tone and he almost cringes, expecting some nasty comments from the other man but none comes, of course. “I don’t want you to feel guilty or awkward about what happened with Luke. You just had the bad luck of meeting Luke before Aidan…Luke wasn’t the right guy and Aidan is, period. There’s nothing more to it.” Adam comes closer and places a comporting hand on his shoulder. “I’m happy Aidan has found someone, and someone who makes him happy, I can tell. I know its early days but I can see Aidan cares about you deeply. Hell, I’d given up on hoping Aidan would find someone…”

“You guys already gossiping about me?” Aidan interrupts from the kitchen door, munching on something. “I’m disappointed, Dean. I thought you’d be more resilient to fall into Adam’s evil ways.”

“You’ve already started eating everything, haven’t you?” Adam whines and goes to the kitchen quickly, “can’t trust you with food…you’re like a hungry animal.”

“Hey!” Aidan whines back and follows Adam. “Don’t call me that. And I’m twice your size, I need more food, you know.”

He laughs and smiles fondly at the exchange. Adam is really sweet indeed, and caring. Aidan must have really been joking when he said those things. Adam seems nothing but understanding…and very intuitive, almost taking away his nervousness completely with his kind words.

“Dean?” Aidan says as he comes from the kitchen. “You ok?”

He smiles brightly and nods. “I’m great.”

\--------------------------

He smiles back at Dean’s sweet expression. He looks to be relived after Adam’s little speech and he makes a mental note to thank Adam later for comforting the blond. He also needs to thank him for acting so cool at seeing Dean’s split lip, him telling Adam over the phone when Dean wasn’t listening to not mention it…at least not abruptly. 

Adam calls them from the kitchen and he holds his hand out for Dean to take, who takes it smiling and blushing adorably. He kisses the kiwi’s soft lips gently before leading them to the kitchen.


	21. Chapter twenty one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Updated before November ends :D 
> 
> sorry for any mistakes...as you may know by now, I suck at editing.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Adam prepared some awesome snacks, most of which he already tried, and opened a bottle of wine. 

“Can you help me take this to the living room? We’ll be more comfortable there,” Adam says and places plates on both his hands, and Dean’s too. He takes the plates to the living room to place on the coffee table.

“These look great,” Dean says in wonder as he places the plates he’s carrying on the table too, admiring Adam’s cooking skills. Understandable, since he was pretty amazed himself the first time he tried anything made by his friend.

“Thank you,” Adam says as he takes the bottle of red wine to the living-room. “Cooking is one of my favorite hobbies, and trying new recipes…or inventing them. I actually own a blog where I share all my wisdom if you want to check it out.”

“Really?” Dean asks amazed as he sits down beside him, looking adorable as always. But what’s most adorable is that he’s actually genuinely amazed. “That’s so cool; I’d love to see it.”

“He even profits out of it. He’s got fans too,” he informs the blond, who looks even more amazed.

“Thanks, Aidan,” Adam says as he pours wine in his glass, “I’m not that famous, of course, but I’ve got my fair share of faithful followers, which is great.”

“Oh, come on, don’t fake modest me,” he teases, earning himself an _I smile now but I’ll slap you later_ look from his friend, “You know how popular you are and you love to brag about it.”

“Anyway…you’re welcome to visit it if you want,” Adam says to Dean, completely ignoring him, “probably going to need a lot of new ideas if you continue being in a relationship with Aidan. He eats like a starved animal if you haven’t noticed…and he’s hopeless in the kitchen.”

He opens and closes his mouth, holding back any harsh comment when Dean giggles. Those little sounds always manage to warm his heart, so he just smiles tightly at his friend.

“I hadn’t really noticed, but now that you mention it…” Dean says, looking sideways at him, wearing a mischievous little grin on his lips. 

“Ok, that’s enough …” he starts saying, but Dean cuts him in.

“You and Jared make me want to die of embarrassment when you talk to each other, so suck it up,” Dean says in a teasing manner, but his words speak the truth. He kinda deserves this.

“Who’s Jared?” Adam chirps in and Dean answers.

“He’s my best friend…from back home. They met through Skype,” Dean says, referring to him and Jared, “and pretty much hit off right away, finding it funny to embarrass me every chance they get.” Adam laughs at Dean’s statement.

“Yeah, he’s a cool guy, I like him a lot…” he adds, “…and he sort of made me promise to take care of his _Deannie_ for him, so I gladly accepted.”

“Aw…is that his pet name for you? It’s adorable,” Adam says looking at a flushed, and clearly embarrassed, Dean.

“Um…yeah,” Dean says shyly and he snickers. It’s so easy to embarrass him. He loves it. Not that he’ll ever do it out of malice, of course, just to see that cute blush on his gorgeous face. Dean looks at him and whispers an - _I hate you_. He laughs and hugs Dean to him. The blond goes pliant and he places a kiss on top of his golden head and whispers back an - _and I love you_.

“You guys are seriously adorable together,” Adam says sweetly, admiring their exchange and he knows he means it from his heart. “You make a beautiful couple.”

“Thank you, Adam,” Dean says smiling shyly.

“Ok, so eat up, Dean, before Aidan devours everything” Adam says enthusiastically and Dean laughs softly and looks at him. He gives Adam a dirty look. 

“Um…Adam?” Dean asks, attracting both his and Adam’s attention. “Could you tell me where the bathroom is?”

“Sure. It’s down that hall, first door on the left.”

“Thank you.” Dean excuses himself and heads for the bathroom.

The minute Dean enters the bathroom Adam turns to him looking horrified.

“Did Luke do that to him!?” 

“SHH!” he tries in vain to make Adam lower his voice, though he has to give it to the man; he kept his cool for a good twenty minutes. “He’s going to hear you,” he whispers angrily.

“It was Luke, wasn’t it?” Adam asks in a hushed tone, but still very audible, completely ignoring his attempts at shutting him up. “Why would he do that? After last time, he went and attacked him again? What the hell is wrong with him?”

“Adam, please, shut it. We’ll talk later,” he says tightly, looking nervously at the bathroom door.

“He needs to get that restraining order. Have you mentioned it to him yet?” Adam continues to ignore him. “I can’t believe Luke would do something like this.”

“Adam…”

“Tell me what happened,” Adam sits right in front of him and looks intently at him. Since he doesn’t have any options and Adam won’t relent, he decides to tell him the short version.

“Luke went to Dean’s work place and confronted him about telling me what happened last time,” he tells Adam in a whisper.

“That bastard!” Adam whispers angrily. “And he hit him because of that?”

“I think Luke was kind of shocked we’d think he could do something like _that_ to Dean.”

“There’s something seriously wrong with that guy,” Adam says deep in thought.

Just in that moment, the bathroom’s door opens and Dean comes out of it and he immediately relaxes his facial expression so the blond won’t notice there’s something going on. He smiles at him even. He then looks back at Adam who looks completely unfazed. He’s left wondering how he does that.

Dean rejoins them and they start talking about lots of things, mostly embarrassing stories about him which Adam seems to have an infinite stock of, causing the kiwi to laugh nonstop. He swears to make Adam pay. If it weren’t for his lousy memory he would counter back right now, but most of the stories Adam is telling he didn’t even remember until now.

“…so when we found him, he had left the pub and -we still don’t know how- broke into a car and sat there to take a nap.” Another anecdote he can’t remember having taken part on, only being told about.

“Are you done sharing my embarrassing stories?” he asks in defeat, though he can’t deny he’s enjoyed very much watching Dean’s face light up with amusement and his cute laugh every time Adam says something particularly embarrassing.

“Aren’t you enjoying this?” Dean asks in honest surprise. “I’ve never had a big group of friends. It must be real fun hanging out with so many. The craziest nights I had back home were with Jared and Ben watching movies and drinking beer.”

“No, don’t get me wrong, I love drunken stories, just I’d rather them being someone else’s too, not just mine,” he says, grabbing his glass of red and taking two sips. 

“Well, I have a lot of material…and the rest of the guys aren’t here so it would be unfair to talk about them behind their backs.”

“Well, whatever, I’m going for a smoke,” he informs and looks at Dean. “Will you be ok alone with Adam?” He ignores Adam’s glare.

Dean giggles and nods. “Of course.”

“Okay,” he says and puts on his jacket. “Be right back.”

\--------------------------------

Aidan steps out into the small balcony behind them he hadn't noticed before. He turns to Adam again, who watches him intently, making him uncomfortable as he doesn’t say anything in a few seconds.

“That’s an ugly cut you have there, Dean,” Adam says suddenly and he realizes he’d completely forgotten about it, him having the habit of avoiding his reflection in the mirror. It must look really bad, given Adam’s concerned expression. He brings his hand up to touch it gently and winces slightly at the pain.

“Oh, yeah…but it must look worse than it really is…I can barely feel it anymore,” he says, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. He fails miserably.

Adam stare stays fixed on his cut for a few seconds and then stands up from his position across from him, slowly walking up to him and sitting down right beside him, right where Aidan was just moments before. He feels really uncomfortable now. Not because Adam makes him uncomfortable, but because he knows what’s coming. Aidan must have already told Adam all about Luke. He doesn’t blame him though, he tells Jared everything, but still; it’s something really personal he would like to forget and having no one else bring it up again, ever.

Adam must have noticed his fidgeting for he places a soothing hand on his shoulder and offers a gentle smile- the gestures helping to sooth his cramping nerves quite a bit.

“Dean, I know this is none of my business and we barely know each other,” Adam starts, carefully using his words, “but I know what Luke did to you...Aidan told me,” Adam says softly and he looks up to meet the other’s eyes. There’s true concern in them. And care, he really seems to care. “I hope I’m not intruding, Dean, but Luke’s attacked you twice already; one of those times he practically sexually harassed you.” He cringes at those words. “…and today he came to your work place to attack you. So clearly, the man has no boundaries. You really should do something about it. You don’t know what he’s capable of. Hell, _we_ don’t know that,” Adam says as he makes a gesture to show he means him and Aidan. “What if he tries something again?”

He sighs and looks for the words to say. Even though he feels like he can tell Adam anything, it’s still hard topic, and the way Adam’s putting it, makes the events sound way worse than he’s trying to make them seem in his mind, way worse.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so,” he says, swallowing audibly and looking at Adam, “today he…” he stops midsentence, unsure of his own words. “He let me understand he won’t bother me again.”

“Dean, do you really believe that?” Adam asks sympathetically. “He could change his mind. And what if he finds you alone? You can’t wishfully think he’ll stay true to his word and hope for him not to hurt you again.”

“Adam’s right,” Aidan’s voice draws their attention towards the door where the man stands; rosy cheeks and disheveled hair, and stern expression on his beautiful face. “Maybe he said that because Orlando was there…and you know he could have seriously hurt you if he hadn’t.”

Aidan’s words hit him just like the smell of cigarette. “I know that,” he says on the brink of anger. Aidan already said that and he gets it, he doesn’t want it shoved down his throat.

“No, you don’t, apparently. You think because you managed to punch him - off guard I’m guessing- you think you can take him, but you are wrong,” Aidan says matter-of-factly and he feels his stomach drop. He looks down, away from Aidan’s face.

Adam seems to notice this for he asks Aidan to leave them alone; disguising it with the excuse that he should go out and smoke another cigarette. He hears Aidan’s whispered protest, asking _why?_ and Adam telling him, _because you are not helping_.

The door opens and closes again and he looks up at Adam, a thankful smile on his lips. Adam smiles reassuringly and sits back down beside him. 

“You’ll have to excuse Aidan,” Adam says after a sip of his glass, “subtleness is not one of his virtues.”

He nods and sighs in response. Adam takes a deep breath and starts talking.

“Dean…I don’t really know what happened today…I can only imagine based on what little I’ve heard from Aidan, but apparently you hit Luke after he hit you, am I right?” Adam asks slowly and he nods again. “…and that made you feel good.”

“I don’t want to be a victim,” he forces out, fueled by Adam’s sympathetic look. He’s letting too much out and he’s not sure if he’s comfortable with it…but something about Adam makes him want to spill.

“No one’s saying you are,” Adam softly and places a hand over his in a comforting way.

“Aidan is,” he says tightly. He swallows audibly the lump that has developed in his throat.

“He’s just worried about you,” Adam tries to sooth him. It works for he knows it’s the truth. Aidan only wants to help him, but feeling vulnerable stirs very unpleasant memories from his last relationship, memories he would like to keep buried. He hasn’t even told Aidan about them.

“I know but…” he sighs and takes his glass to take a sip then swallows audibly, “I’m done feeling helpless and dependant.”

“Dean,” Adam says and rearranges his position on the couch so that he’s facing him now, “I think you need to accept the fact that Luke is stronger than you…and that he can really hurt you if he so whishes to, and there’s nothing wrong with that. That guy spends most of his time in the gym, I wouldn’t dare to cross him,” He smiles at that and takes another sip of his glass. “And it’s ok also, to ask for help, especially you who are new to this country and are just starting meeting people. It doesn’t make you dependable; you would just be protecting yourself.”

Adam’s words start making sense. He doesn’t really know what goes on in Luke’s mind or if he’ll just decide to beat him up anyway.

“And Dean, I want you to know that you can count on me too,” Adam says with a smile, which he returns shyly.

“Thank you,” he says softly and sniffs, “that means a lot…you have no idea how much.”

“Aw, come here,” Adam coos and wraps him in a hug. He melts in the skinny man’s arms and hugs him back. They part and Adam pats him on the back. “Dean?”

“Yes?” 

“I think you should do something,” Adam insists softly,” Just for precaution.”

He looks at Adam with a confused expression. “But what can I do? I don’t want Aidan to go and confront him again. I don’t want to cause more conflict between them,” he confesses.

“I’m not saying that,” Adam says, “I’m talking about a restraining order.”

He’s vaguely aware of his eyebrows meeting his hairline at Adam’s suggestion. 

“A restraining order?” At Adam’s nod he frowns, “Don’t you think that’s a bit too much?”

“No, I don’t,” Adam firmly says. “Luke is dangerous, he’s proven that already. You should talk with Aidan about this. I know he’s going to mention it to you sometime. You should seriously consider it.”

He looks deeply into Adam’s kind eyes for a sign of hesitation but when he finds none he looks down at the table. Adam actually considers it a good idea, but in all honesty, he thinks it’s too much. 

Just then there’s a knock on the door and Adam calls out to Aidan to come in.

\----------------------------

Dean looks deep in thought and Adam looks sort of pleased. He knows his friend has a way with words: his caring nature might get into Dean’s head better than himself. He does lack subtlety like Adam says and it is a pretty delicate subject. His second cigarette might have helped understand why what he’d said earlier rubbed the kiwi in the wrong way. 

“Dean?” he asks in a low tone, “are you ok?”

Dean looks up to meet his eyes and the blond looks troubled, but he nods none the less. They need to talk and it’s getting pretty late so he calls it for the night.

“Thanks for everything, Adam, it was great…but I think it’s time for us to go, it’s pretty late,” he says and walks closer to Adam to give him a hug. Dean immediately stands up and starts to collect empty plates and glasses from the table.

“Dean, leave that there, I’ll clean it up, don’t you worry over it,” sweet Adam says in his sweetest voice as he notices Dean’s nervous actions.

“No, it's fine, I can help you,” Dean says with a nervous smile and takes the plates and glasses back to the kitchen quickly. He feels sort of self conscious over the fact he never really helps Adam like this after an invitation, so he mimics Dean’s action’s and grabs the rest of the things with Adam’s help.

“Wow, Dean,” Adam says in a surprised tone, “you’ve managed the impossible: Aidan helping with the cleaning.”

“Hey, I clean… you know…sometimes,” he weakly protests as they enter the kitchen.

Dean smirks adorably at him, “I wouldn’t know, though, he’s been quite helpful so far.”

“That’s probably because he doesn’t want to show his true colors so early in your relationship,” Adam says in a teasing tone and he reaches out to tickle him to shut his mouth. It works perfectly.

“No, Aidan, stop, I’ll shut up, I’m sorry!” Adam desperately tries to move away from his tickling fingers, laughing hysterically, while Dean giggles at their childish antics.

“You would think my best friend would help me out… all you’re doing is leaving me in evidence,” he says in mock hurt. “I wanted to make him fall in love with me before showing him my dark side.”

Dean giggles again. “I guess I’m screwed then.”

“Yeah, I guess you are,” he jokes, smiling sheepishly and walks up to the blond to plant a gentle kiss on soft lips, careful not to hurt the blonds’ delicious mouth any further.

“Aw, you guys are adorable…I’m getting uncomfortable though,” Adam jokes and they both laugh.

“Then I guess we should leave,” he says and pulls the blond closer to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Thanks again for everything.”

“Yes, everything was delicious. Thank you for inviting us,” Dean says brightly as they walk to the door, Adam ahead of them to open it, “and for your advices.”

“And thank you for coming,” Adam says and leans over to hug the kiwi. “Think about it…and remember you can count on me too.”

“I know,” Dean smiles and hugs a bit tighter, “and thanks for that too.”

It’s almost ten thirty when they leave Adam’s place and he hurries to get… _home_ , for Dean’s got work tomorrow, thought not very early. So not ten minutes later, they’re parked outside Dean’s apartment and he turns off the engine. The blond hasn’t said a word yet and he’s starting to worry. _Maybe he’s mad at me._

“So,” he says after a few minutes more of silence, “did you enjoy yourself?”

Dean seems to snap out from very deep thinking for he looks startled back at him.

“Yes, of course I did,” the blond assures and turns back to stare ahead in deep silence. 

“Okay…” he says uncertain. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” Dean simply says. “Why?”

“I thought you’d be sort of mad at me…”

“I was for like a second…but then I thought better, thanks to Adam,” Dean says and turns to look at him, an apologetic smile on his lips, “I’m sorry… and thank you for caring so much about me.”

“My pleasure,” he says with a sheepish smirk. 

Dean smiles and he leans over to capture the kiwi’s lips in a gentle, but passionate kiss, which is returned with the same passion. Dean lets out a frustrated moan as he pulls away to admire the blonds’ flushed gorgeous face. “Why’d you stop?”

“I think we should take this inside,” he says in a suggestive tone, and lets out a chuckle at Dean’s astounded expression, “unless you don’t want to…”

Dean immediately relaxes and giggles. “Yes, of course I do. It’s just that…sometimes I forget I get to do that with you.”

“You are so adorable.”

As soon as they enter the apartment they are all over each other, taking out clothes and kissing every patch of skin that’s being bared in the process while trying to find their way into the bedroom, until they are lying completely naked on Dean’s bed, wrapped around each other; Aidan deep inside Dean, as they move in unison, moaning and breathing out each other’s names with a passionate urge.

They fall asleep that way, clinging unto the other’s body, seeking contact even in sleep, desperate for closeness.

\-----------------------

He opens his eyes to be greeted by the sight of Aidan’s beautiful face, completely relaxed from sleep. He smiles widely at the sight and sighs in content. This is starting to become a routine he’s more than happy to be on board, cause what can be better than waking up beside the person he loves the most? He realizes in wonder, that that statement has become true. Aidan is probably the person he loves most, not that he has many people in his life, but if he’s completely honest with himself, Aidan has become the one person he’s positive he won’t be able to live without, and the thought’s a bit scary. 

He stays there without making a noise until Aidan starts to stir awake. He’s acutely aware of the slight soreness in his bottom so he’s smiling brightly when Aidan meets his gaze.

“Hello sunshine,” Aidan greets and he bends down to place a soft kiss on Aidan’s plush lips. He winces a little, forgetting about his injury again and Aidan grimaces. “Does it hurt too much?”

He shakes his head in denial, though Aidan seems unconvinced. “Good morning,” he greets back as Aidan stretches his long body exaggeratedly. “How did you sleep, babe?”

“mmm…I had an amazing dream, about this angel with golden locks and a gorgeous smile,” Aidan says with a dreamy expression on his face,“...and I got to make love to him.”  
He giggles at Aidan’s exaggerated comparison but plays along either way. “I really hope this is a onetime thing. I don’t like to share, you know, even if it’s in your dreams.”

\----------------------------

He smiles at Dean’s cute pout and how he plays with his chest hair, relishing at the blonds’ soft touch. His angel looks extremely gorgeous in the morning, even with that ugly cut/bruise on his upper lip. His stomach tightens at the sight of it, a visual reminder that Luke laid hands on his precious kiwi.

“You know…now that I think about it, that angel looked very familiar…” he says in amusement. 

“Oh.” Dean lifts his eyebrows in wonder; A playful smile replacing the cute pout.

“And I think it wasn’t really a dream, although it felt quite like one,” he continues to tease and Dean leans forward to kiss him. He grabs the back of the blonds’ head to prevent him from parting too soon and Dean takes this as a hint to deepen the kiss and lay all his shorter body over his own, intertwining legs with his own and he boldly takes this as an invitation to squeeze the bare soft cheeks of Dean’s butt, eliciting a chuckle from the kiwi as they continue to kiss.

“I love this bum,” he teases and caresses the mounds, “It’s so round and…squishy.”

“Stop,” Dean laughs and rolls off Aidan’s body.

“I can’t,” he jokes, giving one last squeeze, “I’m obsessed.”

“Oh, so that’s why you are with me,” Dean says in mock hurt, trying to hide a smile.

“That…and many other reasons,” he and wraps his arms around the blond to bring him flush against his chest and back on top of him, “many, many reasons.”

They kiss slowly and lazily and he continues to caress the blonds’ behind, and up his back, then down again. He really is becoming obsessed.

“Hey Dean?” he asks after a while. Dean’s rolled to the side again and they’re just enjoying the few minutes they’ve got left before they have be up and productive.

“hmm?” Dean hums in response, playing with his chest hair again, a rather adorable habit of his.

“Did Adam mention something about a restraining order?” he asks suddenly. He’s been relishing in Dean’s presence and closeness, but Luke hasn’t left his thoughts since he saw Dean’s hurt lip yesterday and he’s also eager to know what his friend and lover talked about last night.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Dean answers. 

“I have to think about it,” the kiwi says and puts on sweat pants he picks up from the floor.

“Yes, you have to think about it, but don’t take forever for Luke might decide he’s not done with you yet and pay you a visit…while you are alone,” he dares, thought he knows he’s pushing his luck. Dean really doesn’t want to talk about this and he can see the kiwi tensing up. 

A sigh is his only answer as Dean leaves the bedroom, carrying clean clothes he’s fished out of the drawers. He sighs. That little kiwi is one hell of a stubbornness bundle.

Aidan leaves Dean at the café and then heads off to his house to pick up clean clothes and get a shower. It’ll be so much easier to just grab all his shit and take it to Dean’s apartment, that’s where he’s spent most of his time lately anyway, and he’s planning to move out, which is why he needs to be on time to see a few apartments on rent one of the guys he works with occasionally has told him about. He’d love to move in with Dean instead, but it’ll probably be too soon. They haven’t even made it official yet, but he’ll consider Dean’s opinion on the choice after he’s seen them, so Dean can move in with him eventually, to an apartment the kiwi really likes. 

He looks about his room, collecting clean clothes and throwing his dirty ones on the dirty pile when he hears a noise coming from the living room. He tiptoes out of his room to see if Luke’s about. Thankfully, the man’s not there. He doesn’t know what he’ll do once he sees Luke. Talking to him didn’t help; punching him twice didn’t help either, so there’s not much else he can do but wait and see what happens once they see each other. And now that he thinks about it, it might not be a good idea to confront him about hitting Dean. Based on Luke’s previous reaction, he might think Dean came crying to him and begged for him to beat up Luke again -not the case at all- but in Luke’s twisted mind, it might seem like it and he could take it as a motive to go after Dean again. 

He gets ready and leaves the house. 

He’s seen three apartments by four and texted Dean about twenty times, just to know he’s ok and Luke didn’t pay him a visit, and he’s working on the twenty first.

_hey, babe. How are you doing?_

_Like last time you asked: Bored, but good. And you?_

Dean’s starting to notice he’s being a little paranoid, but seriously, who can blame him? Luke’s being pretty unpredictable these last days, and he loves Dean; he wants him safe and Luke as far away from him as possible.

_Is Orlando with you?_

_Aid, I already told you, yes, he’s here, so would you please stop worrying?_

It’s funny actually, how he feels better with knowing Orlando’s there with Dean, you know, after he wanted to punch the guy for hurting the kiwi. After all, what Orlando did wasn’t _that_ terrible, and if he’s capable of defending Dean from Luke if he’s not there, then he’s pro Dean forgiving him and possibly starting a friendship with the guy. 

_I know, babe, I’m sorry_.

_Love you_.

_Love you back_.

He knows he’s extra worried because Dean leaves off work early and he won’t be able to pick him up, but he really has to stop. He would hate to be one of those controlling boyfriends. He smiles at the thought of being Dean’s boyfriend. He’s been thinking a lot of how he will ask Dean, but he’s still unsure of how to do it. He’s got some great ideas so far though, but he’ll have to discuss them with Adam first. He’s a sucker for romance and he’ll probably have some strong opinions on the matter, and great ideas too. He doesn’t want something too corny, just something simple, but spectacular at the same time. He’s even been contemplating the idea of making dinner, but that’ll probably end up in disaster so…fancy restaurant will be the winner in the end, most likely.

He’s startled by his phone ringing. Adam’s name appears in the screen and he sighs in relief as he answers it.

“Hey, buddy. What makes you drag me out of my extremely interesting apartment hunting?”

“Hey, Aid. You wouldn’t believe what happened,” Adam chirps excitedly and he assumes it’s got something to do with certain Scot.

“What is it, buddy,” he asks amusedly. 

\---------------------------

He cleans one of the tables distractedly, thinking about Aidan. He’s wearing the same dazed smile he usually has when thinking about the Irishman, though he has to admit that today, said Irishman is getting on his nerves a bit. He knows Aidan worried about him, he also is, but he’s trying to not think about Luke all the time and trying to suppress the fear he feels creeping on him each time a new customer enters the café. He really doesn’t want to be one of those victimized characters, afraid of their own shadow. He’s had enough of that, and since he came here, he’s finally been able to say things will get better, especially after meeting Aidan, but all this happenings with Luke has sent him down the path of anxious feelings and of being scared of someone again, and Aidan isn’t helping at all. On the contrary, he’s only fueling those feelings.

He’s good to go at four. He says goodbye to Orlando, who has been particularly kind to him today, being helpful and all, and heads off, and if he looks behind him close to a hundred times while walking home, no one needs to know.

He waits till seven to call Jared through Skype, since he knows he’s an early riser, with his jogging and working out, so he’s not surprised when his friend answers the call right away.

“Hey, Dean! Haven’t seen you in a while,” Jared says excitedly and smiling brightly. The suns already up as he can see through the window behind Jared. A pang of nostalgia hits him as he looks at the beautiful New Zealand sky. He brushes it quickly, though.

“Hi, Jared… I know, and I’m sorry. Things have been going on and I haven’t had much time,” he says morosely. He hates giving lame excuses, but they’re all he has. After all Jared has done for him, he feels like an ungrateful bastard and a terrible friend.

“Don’t feel bad, Dean, I understand. With your new relationship, I get that you can hardly leave the bed,” Jared says with a serious expression. He doesn’t feel so bad now.

“Jared!” he scowls, thanking the heavens Aidan’s not there, knowing Jared wouldn’t keep that comment to himself even if he were.

“C’mon, Deannie, spill,” Jared teases, “how was your first time with Aidan?”

“Why do assume we’ve had sex already?” he tries to hide a smile but fails.

“Don’t even try to deny it…I know that look,” Jared taunts, smirking devilishly.

He opens his mouth to comeback but nothing comes to mind so he closes it again, sighing in defeat, causing Jared to laugh at him.

“So?” Jared asks and he blushes. “When did it happen…and did you enjoy it?”

He looks down at his lap trying to hide his blushing face. He’ll have to tell Jared, but he’ll leave the details to himself. It’s not like Ben’s asking. Jared’s not that into details when it comes to sex between two men.

“Ok, I’ll tell you, but first; how are Ben and Batman?” he says slightly defeated.

“They are good as always. I’ll tell him to come by later and bring Batman so you can see for yourself,” Jared kindly offers and he beams with joy. He knows Ben lives his life by the call of the waves and it’s hard to catch him for a few hours so if Jared can manage that, he’ll love him forever, though it’s not like he doesn’t get a photo or a video at least once a week, showing his pup running wildly over the sand. He knows Batman’s happy with Ben. He’s even learning how to surf, as he knows by the last pic Ben sent him. He put it on his wall.

“I’d love that!” he says excitedly, secretly berate himself by how high pitched his voice sounds.

“What the hell is that!?” Jared asks suddenly and he startles, and frowns in confusion.

“What’s what?”

“That thing on your lip.” Jared looks angry by now, really angry. “Is that a bruise? Did someone hit you, Dean?”

He panics. Jared wasn’t supposed to know about what happened with Luke. He can believe he forgot about the stupid bruise on his lip. He can’t come fast enough with an excuse, so he’s left staring down in shame. 

“Answer me, Dean,” Jared insists, sounding sort of serene now, though he knows that’s –the eye of the hurricane state- his friend slips into when he’s over the top furious. “Who hit you?”

There’s no point in trying to lie now. Jared knows him too well, besides, that’ll just make him even angrier.

“Dean…” Jared’s tone is stern. “What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda had a problem with he html and one part was sort of confusing, but it's fixed now so maybe you should read the chapter again. Sorry.


	22. Chapter twenty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again...so sorry for the long wait, with the crazines of the end of year and moving to a new house I had little time to concentrate on this, but now I'm back and if you are still interested, here's chapter 22. Hope you enjoy it and... Happy New Year! Love you all and thanks for your support, kudos and comments on this story. Thanks so much!
> 
> oh, also...I feel like one of the conversations Aidan and Dean have in this chapter is a little repetitive...but I'm not sure...I have a hard time remembering what I wrote earlier, so I apologize if it feels that way...and sorry for the mistakes.

Dean does his best to keep his cool while answering Jared’s questions.

“Why do assume someone hit me?” he says evasively, “I could have been in a fight, you know?” 

“C’mon, Dean, we both know you’d do anything to avoid a fight,” Jared strongly states. “Just tell me what happened, Dean…and please, don’t lie to me.”

He’s done. Sighing in defeat, Dean prepares mentally for Jared’s reaction, which he knows will be bad.

“Alright Jared, but just…keep calm, ok?” he tries to soothe his friend in advance. “It’s probably not as terrible as you are imagining it.”

“I’m listening,” Is all Jared says as the dark haired kiwi sits back and crosses his arms over his chest, a gesture that makes Dean very nervous.

“I-um …something kind of happened,” he vaguely says, tripping on words, then decides on a better approach at the subject. “Do you remember Luke?”

Jared’s face shows true concern, replacing the anger. “Did he do something to you?”

“He…um…” He takes a deep breath. “I think he didn’t quite get the idea that him and I were through. He paid me a visit afterwards…maybe hoping something might happen again…that I’d forgive him and want to make up…” He takes another breath. 

_Here comes the hard part_.

“So what,” Jared leans closer to the screen, visibly concerned, voice rising, “he hit you because you wouldn’t have sex with him?!”

“Um…no,” Dean says weakly.

“Then what happened?” Jared’s impatient now.

“He wanted to…I told him no…”

“…and?”

The moment Luke’s angry glare and imposing presence at his doorstep’s memory comes back to him a shudder rattles his nerves and there’s a sudden lack of air. Panic starts rising and his stomach cramps up. He can almost feel Luke’s unrelenting hold on him, trapping him place, caging him, and the feeling of despair is just as real. Dean feels trapped and it takes a huge amount of effort to not bolt out the door, just like he did that day. This is exactly what he’s been trying to avoid by giving too much significance and thought to the whole thing. Now there’s nothing but fear as he thinks about the incident.

“Dean?” Jared’s voice snaps him out of his downward spiral, but not nearly enough. The crippling fear is still there and it threatens to consume him whole.

“I-I can’t,” he tries to suck in a breath but his lungs don’t seem to want to cooperate.

“Dean!?”

\---------------------------------

“So I’m in the kitchen, cleaning and stuff, and suddenly, there’s a knock on the door…” 

Adam’s got this absurd manner of telling every day and boring events with extreme exaggeration that actually makes them sound interesting. But ok, maybe this is not an every day event for Adam.

“You don’t say…” he teases but Adam shuts him up.

“So there’s a knock, right? I go and open it… and guess who’s on the other side!” 

“Um…” Adam doesn’t even let him guess.

“Graham!” Adam exclaims excitedly, “the love of my life…”

He laughs. “That’s great, Ads. What did he want?”

“Well, to ask me out on a date that is!” Adam exclaims overly happy. _Of course that’s what it was_. 

“That’s great Adam. I’m very happy for you,” he honestly says, beaming at his friend’s happiness.

“I don’t even know what I’ll wear…I’m so nervous right now…I’m about to freak out.”

“Chill mate, it’ll be great, I’m sure of it,” Aidan says in a relaxed tone, hoping to calm Adam down a bit.

“I hope so…” Adam’s attention seems to drift off as he says that. “Ok, quit distracting me, I need to start getting ready. Bye.”

Aidan hangs up, smiling down at his phone. Adam’s probably a mess of nerves right now and he’d love to see him freak out but there’s another apartment he needs to see. 

So far he’s liked the one’s he’s seen, but none of them actually make him say: _this is the one_ , which is exactly what he’s expecting from his new home. 

Normally, he wouldn’t really care that much about the place, but things are different now.

The last apartment he’s got left to see looks fairly similar to the previous ones; with the exception it’s better located, as in: closer to Dean’s apartment. But that’s not all. The minute he walks in through the white door, he’s welcomed by a beautiful, thought small, white living room. A couple of big windows looking to the east illuminate the small area considerably. There’s a tiny, but cozy looking brick chimney to the right, and the floors are covered with shiny parquet. It has a nice view of a not so transited little street, with lots of trees and a tiny park to the left. Aidan knows it’ll be a bit overprized, but great lighting and coziness are definitely a huge plus for him. Hopefully it’ll be for Dean as well. The kitchen, though, is what makes him take the decision. Not that he’s a very good cook… at all, but the minute he enters the small and sunlight room, images of both him and Dean attempting to make breakfast together, still in their underwear and sitting in the small round corner in a tiny table for two, surrounded by windows and morning light fill his mind. Dean needs to see this. 

Aidan’s about to turn to see the main bedroom, when his phone vibrates in his pant’s back pocket. Frowning at the screen when it reveals it’s a text form Jared, Aidan reads the message and gasps at its content. 

_Aidan, come to Dean’s place. There’s something wrong._

And that small phrase sends his heart rate to the limit. Aidan literally darts from the kitchen, past the landlord, who by now he’d pretty much ignored with his day dreaming, muttering a barely comprehensible _gotta go; I’ll cal you,_ and exits the apartment in a flash.

It takes him less than five minutes to get there, given the apartment’s proximity, and his energetic driving, of course. Climbing the steps two by two, he reaches Dean’s door in a second, and knocks desperately when trying to force it open doesn’t work.

“Dean!” he calls, bordering on anxiety, “It’s me, Aidan. Open the door!”

Aidan continues to knock, getting no response from inside. Crippling fear takes hold of him when the thought he’s been trying to suppress invades his mind. _Luke... Luke’s inside and hurting Dean._

“Dean, open the door for fucks sakes!” Aidan’s knees go weak and the brunette feels his heart is about to burst out of his mouth. “Luke, if you are in there, you’re gonna fucking regret it!”

With that desperate threat and one final, full body push against the door, the thing opens violently and he almost falls face first to the floor, but catches himself at the last second. First thing Aidan notices to his relief, is that Luke is nowhere around, and Dean is standing by the kitchen sink, gripping it with force and having an apparent difficulty to breathe. The window behind the sink is wide open and cold air hitting hits his face. Aidan runs the short distance towards the kiwi and grabs him from behind, starling him.

“What is it, Dean?” he worries, as Dean, now facing him, grips his forearms with force.

“I can’t breathe.” Dean looks deathly pale and his expression shows nothing but panic. “I’m gonna die.”

“What!?”

“No, he’s not gonna die. You are not, Dean. He’s having a panic attack.” Jared’s voice comes from his left, where Dean’s laptop is showing his friend’s face. “Dean, calm down, just breathe deeply and slowly. If you do as I say, you’ll be able to relax.” 

Even though Jared sounds awfully unperturbed, one look at his face tells him otherwise. The dark haired kiwi looks tense, and pretty much helpless. Aidan understands now, so the fear is replaced by relief, very slowly though. Taking a deep breath to calm his own nerves, Aidan guides the blond to the couch. “Dean, let’s just sit on the couch for a bit, ok?”

“Yeah, and give him a glass of water,” Jared adds.

“Got it.”

Once Dean’s sitting -far from relaxed- but a bit less panicky on the edge of the couch, gripping his knees now, Aidan goes to fetch that glass of water.

“Thank God I could reach you, Aidan. And thank you for coming so fast. I had no idea what to do.” Jared looks so thankful and relieved he can almost feel it himself.

“It’s nothing,” he answers humbly, sitting down and handing the glass to the blond, who takes it with trembling fingers and gulps the water down in one go. Aidan rubs his hand soothingly over the kiwi’s tense back. “I would do anything for Dean.” 

Jared smiles, “he seems better now.” It’s true, though Dean continues to breathe elaborately; eyes closed as the blond continues to dig his nails on his own knees.

“Don’t talk about me as if I wasn’t here,” comes Dean’s snappy reply and both he and Jared share a look and a knowing smirk.

“Hey, you seem better…”

“I still can’t breathe,” Dean wines, running rigid fingers through golden strands of hair and with his other hand, gripping his shirt collar away from his neck. “There’s no fucking air!”

“Wanna stand close to the window again?” he asks, but Dean’s already standing up and walking towards it on shaky legs. “Or maybe we can go for a walk…” Aidan asks the detached kiwi, who’s got his head almost completely out the window, standing up too and waiting for a reply.

“Yeah, that might help.” Jared’s tone is soft and peaceful; like his worries over Dean banished the minute he entered the apartment, something Aidan feels rather proud about.

“Ok, Dean, let’s go,” he says and grabs Dean’s jacket. “C’mon, it’ll help.”

“No,” Dean huffs out.

“Dean…” Jared warns. “C’mon, Dean, don’t be stubborn. It’ll help to get you distracted.”

“Jared’s right. Let’s go.” He says sternly as he holds out Dean’s jacket for the man to put it on, leaving no room for argument. Dean looks defeated. 

“Only for a bit,” the blond says reluctantly puts on his jacket messily, ending up in disarray, not even bothering zipping it up.

“Ok, babe,” Aidan looks lovingly towards the edgy kiwi and tries to arrange the blonds’ clothing’s as best he can, zipping up the jacket in the process.

They say goodbye to Jared, who tells them he’ll be there when they come back, so they leave Skype on. Aidan looks at Dean, who walks beside him in deep silence. It’s starting to get dark outside and cold wind messes with their hair but they don’t care. 

“So,” he says as they reach the park and sit on a bench, “are you gonna tell me what was all that about?”

Dean looks ahead towards a huge tree right in front of them -branches clanking against each other as the wind swings them, mesmerizing Dean- who looks to have calmed down considerably.

“Have you ever had one of those before…?” Aidan asks a bit insecure, “…a panic attack?”

Dean seems to wake up from his stupor and looks back at him, meeting his eyes. A troubled expression settles in his lovers face that he just wants to kiss away, but now is not the time for kissing. 

Dean breaks the stare after a few seconds and nods, “Just a few…a while ago.”

“Did something trigger them or they just… happened?”

The kiwi takes a deep breath and rearranges his slumped pose on the bench to a neat sitting pose. It seems Dean’s got something difficult to say, so he’ll let the blond let all out, without interruptions.

“Well,” Dean starts and sighs, stopping to look around the small park, as if expecting someone to be eavesdropping on them.”You know how I told you about my ex?” Aidan nods in response. “He was a dick, ok?” the blond says in a liberating way, letting out all his anger in that single phrase. “Sometimes…you know, aside from all the other crap…he’d…” the blond waves his arm then pauses to take a deep breath, “he’d come home drunk…he was so pissed he would start yelling angrily at me over nothing…” Dean’s voice breaks at the end of that sentence. All Aidan can do is scoot over and circle his arm around the blonds’ tense shoulders. “I never told Jared, but he’d violently throw things around, and he would threaten me, many times… to-to beat me…to smash my face, as he liked to say often. He’d even come as far as to grab me and wave his fist in front of my face or punch the wall behind me…but it never came, he never actually hit me…but the fear. I lived in fear expecting that blow to come…and I felt so weak and helpless ‘cause I never thought myself capable of hurting him back if he ever hurt me. I would’ve just let it happen…because I thought I loved him…and because I thought I deserved that treatment. That’s when I got my first few panic attacks, when he started to get violent, though I didn’t know they were just panic attacks then so I freaked out even more.” 

He has to use all his willpower not to run out of that park, take Dean back to New Zealand, find that Craig peace of waste and beat the crap out of him for hurting his beloved Kiwi thus. All his hopes now lie with the possibility that he’s doing Dean some good by being with him, so the blond can start healing. 

Dean wipes a few tears he didn’t manage to keep at bay with his little fingers then puts his hand back in his pocket before continuing. “I’m just so angry at myself, you know…because I let all that happen, over and over again and for so long. I let him treat me like shit because I thought I loved him…but now that I think about it…I think it was the fear that kept me from leaving him. I feared what he could do to me if I left him.” Dean turns suddenly towards him, facing him and meeting his gaze with blue, red watery eyes. “And now with Luke…” 

Aidan cringes at the name, already hating it, and rubs circles on the kiwi’s back when Dean stops suddenly, sobbing softly. 

“I don’t know if I ever wanted to be with him…if I ever wanted to sleep with him…or if I was just scared of him…scared of saying no to him.” Dean hiccups, now sobbing harder, tone higher, “…and I feel so stupid…because what was the point of coming here if I was just gonna end up the same as back home? If it weren’t for you I would probably still be with Luke.”

He can feel Dean’s pain. To hear him vent his feeling and insecurities like this makes him realize Dean must have a lot kept in, bottled up and eating him from inside, and all he wants is to erase any trace of pain from his sweet kiwi. He hugs him, and cradles him against his chest, protecting him from the wind and hopefully, from every painful memory because that’s all he can do. Leaning down so his mouth is closer to the blonds’ ear, Aidan whispers soothing words to assure Dean he’s not going anywhere, that he loves him, and that he’s precious to him. The kiwi buries his face in his coat, wrapping his arms around his waist and he holds him, rocking them slightly.

After few minutes, they part and Dean looks a mess…an incredibly beautiful mess that is. Aidan reaches his hand toward Dean’s red cheeks to dry some of the tears while Dean dries the other one, sniffing occasionally.

“This is getting ridiculous.”

“What?” he asks confused.

“Me crying on you,” Dean sniffs again, but he’s smiling now. “Don’t you have any painful memories to share so I can return the favor?”

“Um…” he really tries to think of any, but all he gets are embarrassing ones. “Once…I tripped over a kid and his mum started hitting me with her purse. It was pretty traumatic.” Dean looks at him for a few seconds, unresponsive, before cracking up in a fit of laughter. 

“W- How did that happen?” Dean asks out of breath, laughing still.

“In my defense, he was very small and just suddenly appeared in front of me.” He knows it’s a terrible story, but it’s worth seeing Dean light up with laughter when just moments before he was crying his soul out.

“Were you drunk?” 

\-----------------------------

He loves when Aidan makes him laugh, and he loves to hear more about the brunette’s past…even horrible stories about kids being tripped on. 

“No, I was just walking, and the kid was suddenly there.” Aidan seems a bit embarrassed but he’s wearing his little smirk; cheeks flushed by the cold wind and dark curls all tousled by it.

“You are beautiful,” he says out of the blue, causing the Irishman to look a bit caught off guard.

“Uh…Thank you,” Aidan says embarrassed, looking down at the floor. “So are you, babe” 

_Weird…I’m the one usually embarrassed,_ he thinks with a small smile on his lips.

“I’m so lucky to have found you,” Dean says wholeheartedly and leans over to plant a kiss on Aidan’s cold cheek. The brunette looks sheepish and smiles, looking at him out of the corner of his gorgeous brown eyes. 

“Come here.” Aidan suddenly grabs him by the jacket and hauls him closer, grabbing his thighs and lifting him onto the Irishman’s lap. 

“Aid,” Dean protests weakly as their faces come closer. He admires Aidan’s full lips, wanting to kiss them hungrily as he latches unto Aidan’s neck.

“Dean…I feel like the luckiest man in the world with you.”

They kiss passionately but slowly, Dean clinging to the brunette like a koala bear and Aidan holding him tightly in return.

“It’s starting to get colder…maybe we should get back.” Aidan says, visibly shivering. He’s not cold, but then again, his jacket’s a lot warmer that the brunette’s, who is practically shielding all the wind from him.

“Yes.” he stands up and Aidan follows. They walk in silence, holding hands.

“Your hands are so cold, Aid,” he worries and stops to take both the man’s hand in his. 

“I’m fine,” Aidan smirks sheepishly, although he doesn’t look it. The man’s shivering and doing a terrible job at hiding it.

“But you are gonna get sick….you need a better jacket,” he protests and wraps the thin jacket tighter around Aidan’s body. The Irishman has the stupid habit of always using his thin jacket even in this cold weather. Dean wonders if he even knows how to take care of himself. He would offer his own jacket to the brunette; but he knows it’ll be futile. Aidan’s the sort of guy that likes to take care of others; to protect, and be manly and stuff, which he’s totally fine with. Dean actually likes it a lot, but there’s a limit when things start getting ridiculous. “Let’s go home.”

He opens the door and let’s Aidan in, who stands in the middle of the living room, stiff rubbing his hands together to get them warm. 

“Aidan, you should take a shower. You’re gonna get sick if you don’t warm up soon, and this is not the warmest apartment so it’ll take a while if you don’t.”

“What are you talking about? I’m fine.” Aidan takes his jacket off and throws it casually on the couch. 

“Aidan!”

“Dean, I said I’m fine,” the stubborn brunette mutters and slumps down on the couch. 

“Go and take a shower,” he insists sweetly and walks up to the couch to take one of Aidan’s hands and tries to tug him to make him stand. “I’ll make tea while you’re in there, ok?” The very cold hand gets snatched away though and the Irishman crosses his arms over his chest in defiance. 

“I said I’m fine…but I’ll have some tea if you want to make it.” 

“How can you be so stubborn? It’ll make you feel better.” He tries to reason but Aidan just won’t give in. “You’re gonna get sick… I don’t want you to get sick. At least let me get you a blanket.”

“I’m not gonna get sick. God, Dean, quit nagging me, will you?” He’s a bit hurt by the words, but more so by Aidan’s dismissing tone.

“Suit yourself.”

“Thank you.”

He shrugs off his jacket and goes to the kitchen to make that blasted tea. _What a child!_

\-----------------------------------------

Dean seems angry as he makes the tea, cups clanking loudly and tea pot put down harder than necessary on top of the fire.

He feels bad now. Dean was trying to help him and he acted like a brat. 

Standing up and putting his hands in his pockets he calls out softly, “Um…Dean?”

No answer. 

Aidan takes tentative steps towards the blond and tries again. “Babe?” this time he reaches and with his hand on Dean’s shoulder, gently forces the blond to turn and face him, but the blond won’t meet his gaze and wears a hurt look on his face. “Maybe that shower is not a bad idea, but I’ll be so much better if you join me.” Now that he thinks about it, a warm shower sounds great for he’s cold as fuck, and Dean joining him would make it glorious, but the blond looks like he’s going nowhere with him.

“Do whatever you want,” Dean snaps and turns back to resume cleaning the already clean sink.

“Babe, c’mon, I didn’t mean it to sound like that…and I really want to take that shower now, but I want you to come with me.” He circles his arms around the kiwi’s waist from behind, pressing against the smaller body; hands rubbing over Dean’s belly and mouth close to his ear. “I could make you feel really good.”

“No, Aidan,” Dean snaps angrily.

“Why not?”

“Because why should I let you make me feel good if you don’t let me do the same for you?” Dean says as he turns around and out of his embrace, hands on his hips and looking quite upset. It’s a very endearing sight, but the kiwi looks too serious to try and say that to him now. “Look, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I really do, but you sometimes make me feel…I don’t know… like I can’t do anything on my own...” The kiwi looks troubled and looks down at the floor for a few second before looking back up at him. “…and it’s safe and it feels great, but I’m scared I’ll get used to you helping me with everything. I spent way too much time being powerless in my past relationship; I don’t want to fall into that again. I need to be in a relationship were we can be equals. Besides, we are both men here, Aidan, and you’ve already wooed me so freezing to death just to prove you are tough and manly is just plain stupid.”

“Dean, I…” he tries but gets interrupted.

“You’ve done so much for me and I want to return the favor but I can’t if you won’t let me.” Dean looks at him deeply, studying his reaction. He feels kind of out there because the kiwi is right. He tries to act like that to be a support to the blond, to be a rock for Dean to lean on so he can cry his sorrows away and start to heal, and it has worked so far, but the blond needs to feel on the same level as he, not like some sort of victim.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I know I can be like that; I just wanted to let you to know you can rely on me if you so need to. I did not want to make you feel like a victim. I just wanted for you to feel safe and supported.”

Dean’s expression softens at his words and the kiwi wraps his arms around Aidan’s waist, bringing him flush against the shorter man’s chest. He takes the hint and wraps his own around the blonds’ back.

“I love you, Aidan.”

He smiles and hugs Dean tighter. “I love you too. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I’m very proud of you. It seems like you are getting back on your feet again,” He whispers by the blonds’ ear. Dean looks up at him, a bright smile adorning the kiwi’s face as he inhales deeply. “You’ve changed quite a bit from the shy kiwi I met a few weeks back.”

“I think so too,” Dean says smiling hopefully, “and I have to thank you for that, Aidan.”

“Nah, you’re crazy. It’s all you.” 

“You’ve helped me a lot.”

“Then I’m very happy I did,” he lovingly says and leans down to capture the soft lips with his. They break the kiss after a few seconds and resume hugging.

“Now about that shower…” Dean mutters against his chest. “You’re not nearly as cold as before, but I can tell you are still cold.”

“Yeah, still cold. I’m in desperate need of being taken care of by a cute little kiwi.” Dean giggles as he guides Aidan to the bathroom.

The steaming hot water does wonders to warm his cold limbs instantaneously. Dean was right: this is so much better that being cold. 

“You feel better, babe?” The wet kiwi asks, smiling brightly as tiny hands wash his hairy chest gently. He could get used to this treatment.

“Definitely.” 

He runs his hands over Dean’s smooth and soapy shoulders, down the blonds’ back and oh oh-to the blonds’ bum. “It feels so great down here…so squishy.”

Dean giggles again and he answers with a loud laugh. 

His fingers slip over Dean’s crack, tracing it gently and suddenly, one of his fingers slip further in.

“Aid,” Dean huffs, looking at him uncertainly. 

“What, babe?” he leans down to kiss Dean’s neck, and further down to his collarbone, tracing the bone with it with his teeth. 

“I think we should…ngh!” the kiwi gets interrupted when he inserts his finger past the clenching furl of muscle, down to the first knuckle.

“What…?” he huffs, for his own arousal is making itself known, making him erect as he collides with Dean’s own waking erection.

“Aidan…” Dean whines, rubbing his erection against him and pushing back against his finger to increase the penetration. 

“Dean...” he huffs, taking his finger out, only to come back inside joined by a second.

“Aid…please!”

“What babe, what do you want?”

“More…please, deeper!” 

He complies, of course, and in a few minutes he gets Dean off with two fingers and his fist curled around the blonds’ now waning erection.

Dean slumps against him, leaning for support and he happily holds the blond up with arms wind around a narrow waist, feeling the soft wet skin there with his fingers.

“Fuck,” Dean huffs out once he’s regained his normal breathing and his legs ability to hold himself upright.

“Something wrong, babe?” Aidan asks with a knowing smirk on his lips.

“Nothing’s wrong…” Dean answers innocently shaking his head in denial. “That was perfect, It’s just…I wanted to do something for _you_. This shower was supposed to be about you.”

Aidan smiles warmly at the blond when blue eyes look up to meet his gaze. 

“C’mon Deano, don’t worry about it, I love to make you feel good.”

“Do we need to have this conversation again?” Dean asks with a stern frown on his cute face as he closes the water tab. “I’m gonna do something good for you tomorrow and you’re gonna let me…and like it.”

He laughs, throwing his head back. “I’m sure I will.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

They step out of the shower and dry each other with Dean’s fluffy towels, then put on their pajamas. Aidan’s brought an old t-shirt and Dean has lent him soft pj bottoms, a tad too short for him but enough to keep him warm. They drink tea and snuggle in the couch wrapped in two blankets while talking to Jared, who’s returned and has brought Ben with him -Dean’s other kiwi friend apparently- who’s brought Dean’s little furry friend along.

“How are you two?!” Dean’s excitement over seeing his dog again live is endearing, eyes swimming in unshed tears. “How’s the surfer life treating you both?”

“It’s great! Batman loves it,” Ben answers in a laid back tone and deep voice. “He’s really good at it, aren’t you buddy.” The bald man ruffles Batman’s golden fur and the dog barks two times and moves its tail excitedly, propped over Jared’s coffee table and right in front of the screen.

“Hey, buddy!” Dean says lovingly and Batman starts fidgeting and whining as it tries to get closer to the screen, or to where Dean’s voice came from.

“I know buddy, I miss you too,” Dean’s voice cracks a bit at the end and he wraps the blond in a sideways hug. Batman barks again and continues to whine, trying to find Dean somewhere near the laptop. It’s really a heartbreaking sight, and it’s not even his dog.

“And who is that? Is that your new boyfriend, Dean?” Ben asks smirking, probably trying to change the subject for Dean’s on the brink of tears.

“That’s Aidan,” Jared adds from behind.

“Uh…hi!” Aidan says awkwardly. “No, we aren’t boyfriends. Not yet at least.”

“We are dating…getting to know each other,” Dean says with a bashful smile on his lips. 

_And practically living together_ , Aidan thinks, wearing a similar smile to Dean’s on his lips.

“I can tell this is going serious,” Ben teases with a laugh, “You are snuggling already.”

They both blush and try to hide it under the blankets. 

“Aw, just look at them; they’re like two pups in love.”

“I agree,” Jared also teases.

“Alright, stop it guys…”

“I agree with them though…don’t you?” He joins in the fun, for this wouldn’t be a proper friend meeting if Dean wasn’t getting embarrassed.

“Not you too, Aid,” the blond whines dramatically. Batman barks somewhere in the background for he’d left his previous position to do his doggy business elsewhere, but now has returned at hearing Dean’s whine to continue trying to find him. 

“Aw, look at this boy, he really misses you.” Ben pets Batman and tries to calm him down. “He’s restless. I think he’s trying to figure out where you are.”

Those words affect Dean for he becomes somber suddenly. “Maybe this is not good for him,” the blond says tightly only for Aidan to hear. “It’s better if he forgets me.”

They talk for half an hour more before Ben’s time is up.

“So, lovebirds, it was great seeing you Dean, and meeting you Aidan, but I have to go; the waves are calling me and I must answer.”

“Ok. Bye, Ben. Thanks for bringing Batman.”

“No prob,” Ben says, “I’ll bring him again as soon as I can.”

“Ok,” Dean says reluctantly as he waves goodbye to Ben. “See you guys, have a great time. Love you both.”

“Bye, Ben, nice to meet you too.” Ben seems like a cool guy, and also seems to care tons for Dean…and Batman.

Jared says goodbye too, heading off to meet this Fern lady for lunch, someone Dean’s very excited to meet. After that, they settle down on the couch and watch a movie before they go to bed, and once there, they fall asleep wrapped around each other.

\-----------------------------

It’s six in the afternoon and Dean’s almost about to leave. Only two more tables and he’s good to go when his phone vibrates. The blond smiles, assuming it’s a new text from Aidan, or another selfie of the brunette working. The smile turns into a frown in less than a fraction of a second when Luke’s name appears on the screen. It’s a text, and he doesn’t want to read it. 

Dean leave his phone be for the time being and is thankful for the customers on one of his tables asking for the check, but that’s dealt with in less than five minutes and he’s left with the uncontrollable need to check Luke’s message, even if the feeling in his gut tells him it’s nothing good.

He asks Orlando for a quick bathroom break and once in the privacy of the tiny room, he proceeds to open his message box. 

_Look what I found rummaging through my phone_ …

His blood runs cold and his stomach tightens. Right there, there’s a picture of him clearly drunk, naked, and being utterly fucked -by Luke most likely- for all he can see is himself laying on his back, moaning wantonly on Luke’s bed… a moment he has absolutely no memory of.

And then, another message:

_Want to see the videos I’ve got?_

“Fuck!”


	23. Chapter twenty three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, again, for the long wait...hope this long ass chapter makes up for it a bit. Thanks for all the support. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> PS: Just like Dean here has no clue about the restraining order proceedure, I have no idea how it goes, either. I did some research but if you happen to know about it, and I made a mistake, feel free to correct me.
> 
> PS2: I have no idea what Luke is doing.

Dean arrives to his apartment and rushes to the kitchen. He’d been planning this since last night and quickly went to the market in the morning to buy the ingredients before work. Aidan had to leave earlier than him so that left him the liberty to plan this as a surprise. He plans to make that dinner he promised Aidan so many days ago and nothing will ruin it this time. Not even another message from Luke.

Pushing the disgusting photos off his mind, the blond proceeds to make dinner as fast as he can without fucking it up. He’s got at least two hours before Aidan gets here. 

An hour and a half later, the smell of food has filled his tiny apartment. He knows stew’s not fancy dinner material, but it’ll make Aidan happy which is far more important than making some sophisticated dish with no emotion behind it. Besides, Dean doesn’t know the first thing about making fancy food. He should really take a look at Adam’s blog sometime.

Dean sets the coffee table just like Aidan did the other day, with candles and glasses, a bottle of red wine, and a couple of Guinness -Aidan’s favorite beer. He also arranges some cushions around the table so they can sit since he doesn’t own an actual dinner table. It’ll do just fine.

Suddenly, his phone vibrates on the kitchen counter and his stomach cramps up again. Taking a deep breath, the blond reaches out and just when he’s about to open his message box, there’s a knock on the door. Dean’s heart skips a beat and immediately reads the message in case it’s Luke telling him he’s coming over, so that he can lock the door and hide in his room like the wimp he is. 

It turns out it’s in fact a text from Luke but it’s not what he had thought. It’s worse.

_You didn’t tell me what you think about the photos._

And another;

_Maybe I should ask Aidan what he thinks?_

There’s another set of knocks on the door, but this time, accompanied by Aidan’s beautiful voice calling his name. Dean sighs relived and responds telling he’s coming right away, cleaning the kitchen counter hastily with a dishcloth. 

“Aid, hi!” he says excitedly, a bit too forced for Aidan seems to notice something’s not right at the second.

“Hey, babe,” Aidan says looking at him curiously making the blond very uncomfortable.

Dean has to swallow all his worries and put on an expressionless face, which obviously doesn’t work. They kiss and when they part, Aidan asks with clear worry in his tone. “Everything ok?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he brushes off and immediately changes the subject. “I made something for you.”

Aidan sniffs the air and smiles brightly. “It smells delicious. What are you cooking?”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait and see, just a few minutes though, it’s almost ready, but you have time enough to shower if you want,” Dean informs the brunette as he walks back to the kitchen.

“Is that your way of telling me I stink?” Aidan asks playfully, squinting and smirking.

Dean laughs but nods in jest. “Maybe…”

“Be right back,” Aidan says and pecks him on the lips before going into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later and he has everything ready, the brunette comes out of the bathroom looking fresh and flushed by the water heat, holding a towel in his hand with which he must have dried off those dark curls for they look wilder and fluffier than usual. _How did he get so gorgeous?_.

“Sit on the…um, table and I’ll serve the dishes,” the kiwi says, signaling towards their dinner table. 

Aidan follows his gesture and looks at the living room, seemingly surprised. “Wow, the table looks great!”

“You didn’t see it before?” he asks in disbelief, the tiny size of his apartment making it almost impossible for Aidan not to have seen the coffee table all set when he entered, but apparently, he has underestimated Aidan’s lousy observation skills.

Aidan looks sheepishly at him and tries to sell him a lame ass excuse. “It’s just that when I see you, everything else in the room becomes blurry.” 

“Is that so?” he teases, “or you just have very little observation skills for a builder”

Aidan laughs, head thrown back, “Maybe a bit of both.”

They kiss again, passionately and slowly, and then Dean tells Aidan to sit down by their fancy table. 

“I hope you like it.” Dean is nervous. This is Aidan’s favorite dish; it would be awful if he screwed it up. 

He serves two plates with the warm meal and takes them where Aidan’s waiting, placing then carefully on the table.

“You made me stew! Dean, this looks and smells delicious,” Aidan says excitedly. “Thank you so much, babe.”

“Well, try it,” he coaxes, expectant on Aidan’s reaction to the taste, “but be honest, ok? If it’s not the way you like it you must tell me, so I can make it better next time.”

“Dean, shut up,” Aidan says and takes a spoonful to his mouth. When the brunette looks up at him with a serious expression he wants to cry. 

“Oh, shit, I fucked it up, didn’t I?”

Aidan continues to chew, then swallows, still looking at him. “Dean, this is just like my mum’s! No, actually, this is better. Way better.” Aidan’s enthusiasm brings a smile to his lips. Another spoonful and a pleasure moan leaves the Irishman’s mouth. “This is seriously delicious. C’mon, try it, and see for yourself that I’m not lying.” 

Dean feels relived for lack of a better word, and happy, happy that he was successfully able to cook Aidan’s favorite food. “Really? You’re not just being nice? ‘Cause I told you already, you have to be honest.” He continues to doubt but a stern look from the brunette shuts him up.

“I’m being completely honest, baby. This is better than good.” Aidan eats eagerly and keeps moaning here and there. 

Dean takes a spoonful and moans as well. “Ok, you are telling the truth,” he says surprised. “This is really good.”

They continue to eat their food. Aidan drinks the beers and Dean drinks a glass of wine. They laugh and talk and Aidan tells him about his new apartment.

Dinner ends too soon, though, for right when they’re double team washing the dishes, Aidan asks him again if he’s ok and Dean feels like he cannot hide it anymore. He will though, for the sake of their romantic evening. There will be plenty of time to tell Aidan in the morning.

“I’m fine, I told you already,” he says for like the twentieth time since Aidan came home. _home?_

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just…you don’t look like you’re fine,” Aidan says while drying his hands in a dish cloth. “I know there’s something wrong; you just don’t want to tell me.”

“Then maybe you should leave it.” 

His patience is running thin, but Dean knows it’s not because of Aidan, so he keeps his cool.

“Alright, babe.” 

“Thanks,” Dean smiles and Aidan bends closer to kiss him of the lips.

“I want you to see the place so badly; maybe tomorrow?” Aidan changes the subject, sensing his distress probably.

“Sure.” He smiles. “I’d love that.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up after work then.”

“Sounds like a plan.” They kiss again, this time though, more passionately and urgent. All of a sudden, Aidan picks him up bridal style and takes him to the bedroom.

“Aid!” he whines but laughs at being picked up like that. Aidan kisses his brow and once they’re in the bedroom, he drops the blond gently on the bed.

“Thanks so much for that amazing dinner. It was perfect.”

“You are welcome. I’m happy you liked it.”

\-----------------------------------------

Dean is amazing, is all he can think about right now. _How come I got to be so lucky to find this gorgeous blond and be the one to love him?_ Aidan thinks as he takes off his shoes and lays down on the bed, on top of Dean, careful not to squish him and both fully clothed. The kiwi spreads his legs so the brunette can lie between them. 

“I wanted to do something else for you...if you’d like me to, of course,” Dean says in a soft, low tone, so Aidan has to lean closer to hear the whole sentence. He smirks, amused at Dean’s sudden shyness, glad that it’s now just a fraction of the blonds’ personality, not all of it.

“And what might that be?” Aidan asks in a teasing tone, placing his arms on either side of Dean, underneath the blonds’ arms, holding his weight on his elbows.  
Dean stays quiet, blushing lightly and looking at his clasped hands; arms over his chest and between their bodies. 

Aidan moves his hands closer to the kiwi’s head so he can caress the golden locks lovingly, encouraging Dean to speak his mind. 

“What is it, babe?” He searches for Dean’s elusive blue gaze. 

The kiwi does something unexpected then. Smirking up at the brunette, he moves, trying to flip them over so Dean’s on top. After some struggle from the blond, and a bunch of his amused laughs, Aidan lets the kiwi flip them, smirking at Dean’s cute little grunts. 

“Thought that was gonna be easier,” Dean says a bit out of breath, now on top, straddling Aidan’s lap.

“So what’s your little plan, Deano?” He’s quite eager to know what this is all about.

“I’m gonna make you feel good,” Dean simply states and with his cute little hands starts unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. 

“I can’t wait,” he teases and watches Dean’s movements closely.

Dean fumbles a bit with the belt and once he’s got everything done, the blond sends him an uncertain glance. He understands this is a big thing for Dean, to be so forward in sex is something the kiwi must find extremely hard… just like he’s becoming with Dean’s hands so close to his crotch. _Gosh, Aidan, keep it together._

He sits up suddenly and grabs Dean’s hand as it’s just about to lower down his underwear and take out his cock. “Wait, Dean…”

Dean flinches from his touch as if burned and looks horrified at him. 

“You don’t want this,” Dean says in distress. “I’m so sorry…I thought…”

“No wait, calm down.” He grabs Dean’s hand just as the blonds’ about to get up from his straddling position. “I didn’t say that.”

“Then what-what is it?” Dean asks, weariness filling his voice.

“Dean, I just don’t want you to do something you are not sure you want as well just to pleasure me.” He lets go of Dean’s wrist as he stares deeply into beautiful blue eyes. “I want you to be sure you want it also.”

“I want to,” Dean answers fast. “I was just unsure if you liked that kind of thing.”

“I like it…most guys do, you know?” Aidan teases.

Dean only nods in response and resumes taking out his half-erect cock without breaking eye contact. This new Dean is turning out to be very unpredictable. One minute, the blonds’ all shy and embarrassed, and the next he’s all confident and seductive. Aidan has to say he really likes it.

Liking his cute lips, Dean positions himself in between Aidan’s legs and begins to bend over forward. Aidan closes his eyes on instinct and puts his arms behind his head to enjoy better the feeling.

It was hesitant at first, sweet even, but it became progressively bolder, and soon, Aidan was moaning loudly as Dean worked his mouth expertly over his manhood, helped by his right hand.

The feeling was incredible; the view was surreal. Dean’s head wobbling up and down over his erection, hair messy and hollow cheeked the blond was a sinful, beautiful sight.

“Gosh, Dean…that’s it…I’m close…I’m coming…Dean!” And he came, splattering all over his jeans and Dean’s hand. Aidan took a deep breath, and met Dean’s eyes, now shy and uncertain again.

“Did you like it?”

“It was amazing, thank you, babe.” He leans forward to plant a kiss on those swollen lips.

After cleaning up, they curl up together in the bed, kissing tenderly, holding unto each other. Dean moans slightly and snuggles even closer.

“This is great,” says the blond and looks up at him with sleepy blue eyes. “I love this.”

“What is?”

“This…” Dean shrugs, “being together.”

He knows what the blond is saying, but Aidan loves to hear it. It’s amazing how their relationship has escalated. They’ve been sleeping together pretty much since they became a thing and he’s not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. He wants to think it’s because of the threat of Luke coming here and hurting Dean again, but if none of that had ever happened, he would have still wanted to stay with Dean every night; having an excuse just made it simpler.

“I know, babe. I love having you in my arms, safe and warm…” he hugs Dean closer against his chest then pulls back a little to be able to see the blonds’ expression. “Does it bother you that we’ve spend almost every night together?”

Dean sits up suddenly and stares at him; doubt written in his fair face. “Does it bother _you_?”

“Of course not, Dean,” Aidan’s quick to answer.

“Great, because I love having you here,” Dean gives him a sweet smile which he returns, “and…I’m relieved too.” The blond hesitates before continuing, looking slightly embarrassed. “It’s not that I fear Luke coming here again but…you know…” 

Aidan nods.

“Like Adam said, I can’t rely on wishful thoughts…I don’t know what I would do if he came here and you weren’t…or if I could do anything.”

“I love being with you, Dean, and if me being here makes you feel safe, then all the more reason.”

Dean leans closer and pecks him on the lips shyly. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

His phone vibrates with a text and he lifts his hips to fish it out of his back pocket. 

“Aid…” 

He looks up at Dean then back at his screen. “Ugh! It’s from Luke. What could he possibly wa-”

Aidan never finishes the sentence for Dean snatches the phone from his hands and keeps it on his grip tightly. 

“Dean?”

“I-I’m sorry.” Dean stands up and starts pacing about the room, still holding Aidan’s phone. 

“Ok, you are worrying me, Dean.” Aidan sits up and waits for the kiwi to look at him. “What’s going on?”

“I was going to wait until tomorrow to tell you; I didn’t want to ruin this night but…”

Dean hasn’t said anything, but anger towards Luke starts creeping up on Aidan. 

“What did Luke do this time?” He sighs.

“He sent me a text…” Dean says, barely audibly.

“And what did it say?” 

“There were photos…photos of me.” Now the blond looked up to meet the brunette’s gaze, anguish written in his gorgeous blue ones.

“What!?” He stands up from the bed suddenly.

Dean says nothing for a few minutes and Aidan feels about to flip out. “Dean…”

“They were pictures of me,” Dean mumbles, “of me and Luke…having sex.”

……………………………………………

Aidan looks weirdly unfazed, but Dean knows it’s just the calm before the storm. 

“And…are they…recent?” Is all the Irishman says after long minutes of deathly silence, gaze fixed on the floor. They have yet to become official, but the exclusiveness should be obvious; it is for him at least, so Aidan’s comment hits him like a bucket of cold water.

“Ugh…Aidan, what are you implying?” Dean lets the hurt be apparent in his voice, “Of course they’re not.”

The brunette locks gazes with him and immediately looks regretful. “I-I’m so sorry, Dean…I shouldn’t have asked that…please forgive me.”

Aidan sounds sincere, so he lets it go for now, still hurt but willing to forgive the Irishman. He just nods.

“They were…I don’t really know precisely when…probably one of those times I was too drunk to remember.” He breathes out a small, fake laugh, for this situation is exactly the opposite of funny.

“That fucker…” Aidan seems deep in thought, covering his mouth with both hands. “Oh shit…”

“What?”

“Yeah…Luke does that shit,” Aidan says solemnly as he sits back down on the bed. Dean’s very confused now. 

“What?”

“Luke takes photos or videos from strangers he sleeps with…he’s tried to show them to me after his encounters on many occasion,” Aidan sighs, “it’s some sort of disgusting fetish he’s got…one I should’ve warned you about…God, I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“Why? This is not your fault, Aid,” he reassures the brunette, sitting down on the bed, right next to the other man.

“Dean,” Aidan turns to look at him seriously, “you have to do something. You can’t wait anymore.”

He nods slwoly, finally giving in to the idea of the restraining order. Apparently, his nod isn’t convincing enough for Aidan, though.

“Dean, he could put those photos on the web…they could be there right now for everyone to see.”

Panic starts rising in him again and the kiwi turns terrified eyes towards the brunette. 

“I hadn’t even thought of that!” He really hasn’t, his main worry being whether or not Luke would use them to blackmail him into having sex again or else he would show then to Aidan, but that would be minimal compared to the possibilities. “I have to get them…he can’t have them!” 

\-----------------------------------

He feels so stupid for even thinking for a second Dean had slept with Luke again, even worse for voicing those worries. The look of hurt in Dean’s cute little face was the worst, though, and now, he made the blond panic with his inability to think before speaking. Bringing Dean to despair would get them nowhere.

“No, Dean, please calm down…he won’t do that, even Luke’s not that stupid,” Aidan assures Dean, standing up and following the blonds erratic pacing, trying to get him to sit down. “And we’ll do something about it, ok? I’ll help you through everything if you want me to...but if you don’t, it’s fine, I’ll step aside and support you anyway I can.”

He knows it might be difficult for Dean to go through something like this on his own, but after all they’ve talked about the kiwi needing to feel self-sufficient, he’ wants it to be clear for Dean that he’s not trying to make the blond feel useless, and that he’s got an option.

“No…I-I want you to help me-I need you right now,” Dean confesses, shame written on his troubled face. “I don’t think I can do this alone, or I’ll end up not doing it at all.”

Aidan smiles sweetly at Dean, wrapping an arm around the tense shoulders, guiding the kiwi back to bed.

“I’ll be happy to help you, love.” The brunette kisses Dean’s soft curls as he helps the kiwi under the covers, still fully clothed. “I’ll bring your laptop to look for information, ok? Be right back.”

\------------------------------

Dean doesn’t know the first thing about applying for a restraining order, but of course, everything’s online. Though, after a lot of reading, the kiwi still doesn’t quite understand exactly how he should proceed; something about a court and application forms. He’ll need evidence too, which he already has, thankfully, what with the texts, medical certificate from his wrist, and his still healing split lip, and the fact that Luke came to his work to create a commotion with Orlando as witness, he should qualify for a restraining order, but that decision is not before him.

“Luke will be forced to delete those photos…” Aidan pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Um…yeah, probably…” Dean knows that in a fair world, that’s how it should go, but the doubt attacks him full force when he thinks about how he broke that mug on the other man’s head. Could Luke use that against him? What about Aidan? The brunette pretty much beat the shit out of his friend to defend Dean. What if Luke decides to screw them over and claims excessive use of aggression from their part? Would _they_ get punished instead?

“He will, and he won’t be able to call you or text you anymore.”

“ _If_ I get it…the thing,” he continues to open more pages, none of them as specific as he would want them to be.

“You’re gonna get it,” Aidan says in a confident tone. “You’ve got evidence enough…and he’s pretty much threatening you with those photos.”

“But what if…?”

“What?”

“Don’t you think I should like…ask him what he wants?”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Aidan waits till he has Dean’s full attention before continuing. “Luke thinks he can do anything he wants to you, and you need to teach him that he’s wrong, that what he does has consequences and you won’t take whatever shit he decides to pull.” 

Dean only nods in response. 

“He needs to stop.”

Again he nods.

That night, Dean has trouble falling asleep, thoughts about Luke and what his reaction will be about the whole thing -once and _if_ he gets notified- invading him, causing his stomach to cramp up, so when the kiwi finally falls asleep it’s just a couple of hours before the alarm goes off. 

Aidan has a hard time waking the bond up, but succeeds eventually, with a big mug of coffee and a lot of kisses here and there. Groaning and cursing in jest at the annoyingly energetic brunette, Dean finally wakes up fully. At least it’s the blonds’ free day so once everything’s done at the court, he can come home and sleep through the day.

As it turns out, it’s far easier than he’d thought when you have people willing to guide and advise you through the process. So when Dean’s sitting down at the district court, filling his application forms for a protection order, it feels just like any other errand…until the part when he’s supposed to give detailed description of the abuses, those of which he has trouble even labeling as such. It helps a great deal though, that Aidan’s right there with him.

“You have to be as detailed as you can, Dean,” Aidan sighs, clearly not having it with his reluctance to describe certain events.

“Yeah, but…I don’t want to put that,” Dean argues weakly, “they’ll think I’m an idiot who can’t fend for himself and can’t say no.”

“They’ll think of you as a victim, which is exactly what you are in this case.” Aidan’s logic comes biting him in the ass, so the blond ends up writing down the times Luke was more than a little insistent on Dean drinking himself wasted, along other stuff the kiwi had considered irrelevant to the case, but on the Irishman’s urging, ended up adding as well. A lot more emphasis is put on the latest events, though, when Dean actually felt overcome and abused. It’s not easy to describe those events, but Aidan keeps a firm hold on his left hand the whole time.

Once the applications are finished and signed, Dean is brought before a judge, who looks at him skeptically.

“Were you in a relationship with the respondent, Mr. O’Gorman?” the judge’s tone is uninterested and her gaze cold. Dean’s feels his hands start to shake.

“I was dating him at the beginning, but I ended it before the last two attacks.”

“And were this photos and videos you mention taken during your dating with the respondent?”

Dean nods nervously but notices that the judge hadn’t been looking at him so he lets out a stuttering _yes_.

“And were these taken against your will?”

Were they taken against his will? Dean honestly doesn’t know since he was under the influence of alcohol at the time; he might have said yes, but sober, the bond would have never consented to something like that. He doesn’t know how to answer that question, but the clerk told him he had to be completely honest.

“I don’t really remember, your honor, I was under the influence of alcohol.” The answer sounds so lame Dean wants to kick himself but at least he’s being honest. “I can’t remember.”

“Come forward, Mr. O’Gorman.” 

\---------------------------------------

Dean comes out of the court room pale and nervous looking so he steps closer and hugs him tightly.

“How did it go?”

“Good I guess. She asked me questions…” Dean hesitates looking worried. “Luke will be notified about the hearing.”

“That’s great, babe!” he exclaims happily, but Dean doesn’t seem to share his enthusiasm. “What is it, Dean? Aren’t you happy?”

“Yes, I am…but…I’m scared of what Luke’s reaction is going to be.” 

“Whatever his reaction is, Dean, it’s not going to affect you. I won’t let him near you. I promise.” Aidan lifts the blonds’ chin to looks deeply into those fearful blue eyes, so that his message is well received.

“I feel like such a wimp,” Dean practically whimpers out.

“You have a right to be scared.” He hugs the blond again and together they leave the courthouse. 

They drive to Dean’s home and eat a light lunch, the blond claiming to be too nervous to eat much but ending up eating just as much as him. Dean eats a lot more than his tiny body probably needs, but that’s just another one of his adorable qualities. _The kiwi looks so cute when eating and even cuter when he’s stuffed himself full and groans in discomfort, claiming to never eat that much again... Okay, that’s weird,_ Aidan chastises himself, but smirks at the thought.

Aidan got a bit of work to do but nothing he can’t catch up to in a couple hours of extra work the next day. Besides, the guys have sort of planned - Adam mostly- a drinking night, mainly to welcome back Richard who’s been in America for the past two months, but also for drinking, so why tire himself unnecessarily before a night out?

“I don’t know if you are up for it, but there’s a thing with the guys tonight and they want us to come,” he lets the information slip casually while they watch TV, “to Adam’s, so there’ll be food as well, not just alcohol.”

Dean seems to tense up at the news and looks at him warily. “I’d love to but…”

Aidan sits up and turns towards Dean, waiting for him to continue.

“…won’t they be mad about the Luke thing?”

“God, Dean, stop beating yourself over something not even your fault. I told you already: the guys don’t really know what happened. All they know is that it was something between me and Luke, that’s it.”

“Well, I think they’ll know it had something to do with me if they see us together,” Dean counters back.

“Then I’ll tell them what happened,” he sighs, sitting comfortably again while staring at the screen, “although I’m quite sure Adam has already told them and may I tell you, Adam really likes you, so you shouldn’t worry about what he said to them. Besides, Adam never liked Luke much in the first place and I don’t think the rest of the guys did either. Luke is the kind of friend you don’t tell anything to because you know he doesn’t give two shits about you or your problems…so yeah…I doubt it’ll be a huge loss for them.” 

“I still don’t think…” Dean still sounds unsure so he cuts him in.

“And now they’ll have you as well, babe,” he says with as much enthusiasm as possible, “so it’s a win-win for them, if you ask me.”

Dean smiles sweetly and blushes. He’s convinced apparently.

Aidan goes back to his house for a quick shower and clean clothes while Dean takes a nap. Luke’s there and when he enters, the other man comes walking down the hallway, drying his hair with a towel.

“Aidan?” Luke sounds a bit surprised. “Haven’t seen you in a while…it’s almost as if you don’t live here anymore.”

“And I intend to make it so. I’m moving out in two weeks…thought you should know. That’s enough time for you to find a roommate I believe.” He walks past Luke and goes into his bedroom, not even sparing another glance at his former friend.

“How kind of you to tell me,” Luke yells back, voice filled with sarcasm. Aidan closes the door with a thud. Even though all he wants to do is punching Luke in the face and snatch his phone to then smash it on the floor, he keeps his cool. Nothing would hurt Luke more than being ignored.

Showered and dressed, Aidan goes to his room again. The mess makes him strangely uneasy. He hasn’t slept in his bed in days and it’s still undone form the last time, so he decides he should at least leave it done. It’s not as fun to make it without Deans’ help, but he manages, finding Dean’s shirt in the process, the one he’d kept under his pillow all those days ago.

Once in the living room Aidan gathers his jacket and keys, ready to leave, but Luke stops him.

“I heard Richard came back,” Luke casually states. 

Aidan only looks at him, a stern, inquisitive expression on his face.

“Jimmy invited me.”

Aidan knows this is just a provocation, for Luke most definitely knows he’s not welcome in Adam’s apartment and he wants to let it slide but the words just leave his mouth. “You’re not going.”

“Why not? They are my friends as well.”

“Adam’s not your friend. It’s his place and you are not welcome there.” He turns to leave but Luke has something else to say like always.

“Did you see the photos I sent you?” the words are filled with venom. “Dean looked good, didn’t he?”

He saw them. Aidan tried very hard not to see them but his curiosity got the better of him. Dean looked good, of course, but they were degrading photos, in very degrading poses, so after seeing them he quickly deleted them.

The Irishman uses all his will power to open the door and leave, without replying. It’s the best way to treat Luke anyway, with nothing but indifference. Besides, there’s a reason for Dean getting the order of protection and they shouldn’t manage this matter on their own, for anything they do, Luke might use against Dean.

It’s with a heavy heart and doubt enveloping him, that Aidan gets on his car and drives to Dean’s apartment. He just hopes this is the right way to go.

They leave the apartment at eight thirty, a bit early since their drinking nights always start a lot later, but Dean is nervous and wants to help Adam with the preparations to which Aidan happily complies. Making Dean comfortable is his priority tonight, so anything that helps.

“You look so cute, babe,” Aidan coos and drags the blond closer by the adorable scarf Dean’s wearing to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m a bit scared the guys are gonna want to take you away from me.”

Dean snickers and hides his nose on the scarf, holding the beers and wine they bought for tonight closer to his chest. 

“Stop.”

“I’m serious…I know at least three of them are gay...” he trails of. “Oh, you haven’t even met Richard. He’s been away for the past two months. This thing is sort of a welcoming party for him, actually.”

The drive there takes a bit longer than normally since the streets are packed with cars, but they make it eventually and Aidan pulls over right outside Adam’s building.

“Oh, hi guys, glad you could make it!” Adam chirps happily in welcome then turns to the blond, hugging him tightly. “Dean, how have you been?”

“Hi Adam, thanks for inviting me,” Dean returns Adam’s warm hug just as warmly before they part. “I’ve been great, thank you. And you?”

“Great as well, thanks for asking,” Adam replies. “Aidan told me you wanted to help. That’s very nice of you, by the way. None of the other guys ever help with anything.”

Dean laughs at that. “I’m happy to help you.”

“Hey…I help,” Aidan lamely defends himself.

“Right…” Adam’s sarcasm is evident. 

“Um…where do I put this…?” Dean says, holding out the bottles. 

“Oh, let’s just put them in the kitchen for now. I don’t know if you know this but I sort of have a been dating a man that lives on this building-Graham- I invited him for tonight, so I’m extremely nervous…”

Aidan shakes his head and smiles as Adam leads Dean to the kitchen, chatting the blonds’ ear off. It’s great, though, that they’re hitting it off so soon. Adam’s his closest friend and Dean surely needs a great friend like him. The little guy’s a bit too much to handle sometimes, but a great friend he is, and pretty much one of the sweetest, most caring people you’ll know once he takes a liking to you.

He’s about to follow the two to the kitchen when there’s knocking on the door.

“Aidan, could you answer it, please?”

Half way through to opening the door, Aidan rolls his eyes. “Gee, I hadn’t thought of that.”

The Irishman opens the door to whoever it is; worrying about seeing Luke on the other side, but luckily, it’s his friend Richard so he smiles widely at the man.

“Richard!” he exclaims and hugs the taller man tightly. “How was your trip? Did you get it? I texted you a lot but got no replys.”

“It was great, thank you...and sorry about that. I’ll tell you all about how it went later. And how are you?” Richard asks him while taking his coat off, but before he can answer, Adam comes from the kitchen smiling brightly, eager to greet their friend, Dean trailing behind on insecure steps.

Aidan steps aside to let the other two greet.

“Richard!” Adam hugs Richard, who has to bend down to be able to hug Adam back. “How are you?”

“I’m good. I missed you guys terribly tho…”Richard stops when he notices the blond awkwardly standing aside from their whole reunion. 

“Hello,” the taller man says, addressing Dean, who has been looking down at his shoes the whole time.

“Uh…hi,” Dean says once he notices Richard’s hello was for him, then looks shyly back to Aidan as if expecting for him to do the presentation.

“Oh, right…Richard,” he steps closer to Dean, putting a firm arm on the blonds back to make him take a few steps closer to the other man, “this is Dean, my…um…”

“Friend,” Adam answers for him, a mischievous smile on his face.

“Nice to meet you, Dean,” Richard says in his oh so polite way, holding out a hand -which Dean takes with a nervous one.

“Nice to meet you too, Richard.”

The blond holds Richard stare for a few seconds but looks down again shyly. Apparently, Dean’s still the same shy kiwi he met weeks ago around strangers. Richard doesn’t seem to mind though, and by the looks of it, he’s very amused by the blonds’ shy nature, if that lingering stare and smile are anything to go by.

“Well, since you all came here so early, I think it’s only fair you give me hand,” Adam suggests but Dean is quick to reply.

“No, don’t you worry,” Dean says referring to Aidan and Richard, “I’ll help Adam. You can sit and…catch up.” 

The two leave for the kitchen, Adam complaining how Aidan never does anything while Dean just giggles. The kiwi comes back a couple of minutes later to offer them a beer which they both accept. And again, Aidan notices how Richard’s gaze lingers a tad longer in Dean’s direction, so he swells with pride.

“So...is that your boyfriend?” Richard asks and he smiles sheepishly.

“Not yet. But I want him to be…I’m planning on asking him these days.” He swells with joy as he says those words. _Gosh, he’s so in love with the kiwi._

“That’s great, Aidan. He seems like a nice guy,” Richard says honestly. “How did you two meet?”

Richard has no idea about the Luke thing. 

“Oh, that’s right…you’ve missed out on a few things while you were away,” Aidan says, letting some of his anger at Luke show.

He tells Richard a summed up version of the latest events, since he met Dean that day at the pub till this morning and the application for an order of protection. Richard listens to everything attentively, looking shocked from time to time.

“And do you know why he’s doing all this?”

“Because he’s an asshole, maybe? I have no idea,” Aidan says and Richard just nods in silence. 

Dean makes his appearance again, along with Adam, both carrying snacks to place on the coffee table. Richard immediately stands up to help them, so Aidan feels he should also do it, at least to pretend he’s helping.

“Thank you,” Dean says smiling as Richard takes the plates from his hands. 

Adam goes back to the kitchen and Dean stands awkwardly in the middle of the living room. 

“Come sit here,” Aidan says, patting the couch beside him. The blond follows through and sits down, right in front of Richard.

“So Aidan told me you came back from a trip,” Dean says suddenly, before Aidan can start talking to fill in the silence. “How was it?”

“It was pretty boring, since I was alone and it was for professional reasons only, but thankfully, I got the results I wanted.” Richard says in a deep voice.

“You did!?” Adam chirps excitedly, coming back from the kitchen. “Congratulations!”

“Wow that’s awesome, Rich!” Aidan joins in the excitement, both him and Adam go hug Richard, who smiles bashfully.

Dean looks more than a little confused by the whole thing.

“Oh, right,” Aidan says, “our friend Richard here just became a published author.”

Dean’s expression shows deep bewilderment as he looks up at Richard. “Wow, really? That’s really awesome. Congratulations.”

Richard, always his humble and modest self, smiles bashfully at Dean’s praise. “Thank you, Dean.”

“What do you write about?”

Aidan opens the door to Stephen and James, both greet him animatedly. He greets back, distractedly though, for his attention is mostly set on the two men sitting on Adam’s sofa, who have been talking on and on for the past hour. He hates to even think about the possibility of Richard, his friend, having an interest in Dean, who seems so amazed by everything the taller man has to say and listens with raw admiration. Aidan’s happy for Dean, though, since it was so easy for him to let go of his initial nervousness and is now speaking to Richard openly and self-confidently, nothing short on surprising. 

_Aidan, don’t be stupid. This is your friend and soon to be boyfriend. Just thinking it is wrong, so stop it!_

Maybe they just hit it off really well, that’s it. 

“Hey there, Aid,” Jimmy pats him on the shoulder. “Talked to Luke earlier. He said something about you not being friends anymore…is that true?”

“Yeah, it is, but I’ll tell you about it later, ok?”

“Alright, but I invited him over…hope you don’t mind.”

“Nah, he’s not gonna show up. He knows Adam’s never really liked him.”

“So…Dean was it?” Jimmy smirks knowingly as he spots the blond.

“Yes, Dean,” he smiles in return, letting know James that there’s a lot going on with the kiwi.

Turns out -to his very shameful relief- Dean’s deep attention for Richard wasn’t just for him, for soon, he’s talking just as animatedly with Stephen, both laughing and joking around as if they were old friends, and when the alcohol intake starts to rise, Stephen ends up asking Dean for an ink tattoo on his arm since apparently, the blond had hidden talents Aidan didn’t know about. He smiles warmly at the sight. This is what the brunette wanted for Dean, for him to hang out with his friends and make them his own. 

As of late, Aidan’s been a bit afraid Dean’s whole reason for staying in the country was only him, and if the blond made friends with the guys, he’ll have more than just one reason. But if the kiwi ever wanted to return to New Zealand he would support him in any way possible, even if the sole idea turns him to shreds. 

There’s knock on the door and Adam’s all giddy. Graham enters the apartment and greets everyone politely, but soon, the Scot loses interest in everyone but Adam and they both sneak out to the small balcony. 

Aidan continues to chat with Jimmy and Dean is laughing at some story Stephen and Jed are telling -something embarrassing about him, most likely- Richard also listens to them, smiling and laughing here and there, but from where Aidan’s standing, it looks a lot like Richard’s attention is on the giggling blond more than on the two telling the story.

_Aidan, seriously, stop it!_

He goes to the kitchen to refill his drink and shut his stupid thoughts down. 

“There you are.”

A smile forms on Aidan’s lips at hearing his cute kiwi’s voice. Arms snake around his waist as Dean presses his tiny body against his back.

“Thought you’d abandoned me,” Dean says in a muffled voice since his face’s buried on his shirt. 

“Are you getting a bit tipsy already?” he teases and Dean grunts.

“Maybe…just a bit.” 

Aidan turns in the blonds’ embrace so that he’s hugging the kiwi back, tightly against his chest.

“I love you…and from what I could see out there, the guys love you too.”

“They’re great…thanks for making me come.” Dean wraps his arms around Aidan’s neck, pulling him closer.

“I can make you come any time you want,” Aidan teases, whispering in Dean’s ear, making the blond cackle and blush furiously.

“You idiot,” Dean says and stands on his toes to capture his mouth in a tender kiss, which he deepens, holding the kiwi impossibly closer. 

They kiss passionately for a few minutes, until they’re interrupted.

“Oh-I’m-sorry….didn’t know you guys were here,” Richard says awkwardly. Dean laughs and apologizes but doesn’t move an inch away from him, so they’re still holding unto each other. “I’ll come back later.”

“No…we were done already,” Aidan says and grabs his glass from the counter, still holding the blond by the waist. “Oh, Dean, did you want a drink?”

“I’ll make it,” Richard is quick to answer. “What do you want?”

“Oh-um-whatever you are having.”

“Alright, I bring it to you, then.”

Dean thanks him and they go back to the living room. Jimmy is checking something on his phone, laughing, while showing it to Stephen and Jed. They all look up when they sit in the couch in front of them. Jimmy clears his throat, still very amused.

“What is it?” Aidan asks dreadfully. Something’s going on and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“Well…I just received some very…erotic pictures,” Jimmy says; tease never leaving his tone, the bastard.

“I got them too,” Stephen says solemnly, holding his phone and looking up at Aidan apologetically, like if it was his fault somehow. “They’re from Luke.”

He stands up violently and takes both Stephen’s and Jimmy’s phone and proceeds to delete the photos, Dean’s photos.

“What happened?” Adam ask as he comes back inside, sensing the heavy atmosphere immediately. 

Aidan looks at Dean, for any hope of the blond not figuring out what just happened. He’s wrong. Devastation is a very light word for what he sees in Dean’s face. Tears start forming on the blonds’ eyes and very abruptly, the kiwi leaps from the couch and runs for the door and exits the apartment.

“If you receive a text from Luke, delete it immediately.” Aidan’s tone is severe, but tinged with despair. “Don’t open it…please.”

He runs after the blond as fast as he can, nearly flying down the sets of stairs. It’s a miracle he makes it down unharmed, but when Aidan finds Dean, his heart hurts bad enough for that to be a lie.

The kiwi is hunched down, leaning on the outer wall of the building, covering his face with both hands, crying.

Luke has gone too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't see the ones above...
> 
> PS: Just like Dean here has no clue about the restraining order proceedure, I have no idea how it goes, either. I did some research but if you happen to know about it, and I made a mistake, feel free to correct me.
> 
> PS2: I have no idea what Luke is doing.


	24. Chapter twenty four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter answers some questions. :D Also, since this story has been sort of a sausage fest so far, I decided it was necessary to add a female, and I love Fern, so yay!  
> Hope you enjoy!

“Why? Why did he do this?” Dean whimpers, wiping some tears from his face. Aidan sits beside him, holding him. 

“I don’t know, babe” Aidan tries to comfort, “he’s just…I don’t know what’s going on in his head.”

“I wanna go home,” the blond sniffs and Aidan helps him to his feet.

The drive to Dean’s place is quiet. Both men immersed in their own thoughts. Dean has stopped crying and now, he feels numb. And everything was going so well. Aidan’s friend’s had been so nice to him, and they all seemed to really like him. But that was that. It was his fault, anyway. He should know by now that things just don’t work out the way he wants. Not now, not ever. 

Only when Aidan turns off the engine, does he realize they’ve arrived. Aidan looks at him with worry and… pity?

“I-I’m so… so sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t be,” Dean states dryly. “It’s not your fault.”

\-------------------------------------

Oh, but it is. That’s what Aidan believes at least. Had he manned up and confronted Luke on the photos…hell, had he smashed the asshole’s phone and protected Dean like he should have, none of this would have happened. But no, he just let it all happen right under his nose and did nothing about it. Not a damn thing. 

Dean makes to open the door, but Aidan stops him. “Wait.”

“What?”

He doesn’t really know what to say. Is there anything to say in a situation like this? Dean is waiting for an answer, but Aidan doesn’t have one, so he just hugs the kiwi tightly. “I love you, babe.”

They lie in bed, still wearing their clothes. They don’t cuddle. They don’t even touch. Dean has his back towards Aidan and hasn’t made any motion to want to get closer, so he lets the kiwi be. Aidan sighs, staring at the ceiling. He gets up at least three times, only to start pacing around the apartment and then going back to bed, battling the need to go and confront Luke or staying with Dean. The later wins, thankfully, and after it proves futile to sleep, the brunette just stays in the living room, answering worried texts from Adam.

_Is Dean ok?_

_Did you make it home safely?_

_Luke sent the photos to everyone, but I made them delete them. No one else saw them, I promise._

_Aidan, please answer, I’m worried sick. We all are._

_Give Dean a hug from me…and tell him he’s got all of our support._

Aidan smiles slightly at the texts as he answers them. He knows how this is going to affect Dean; the blond won’t ever want to face the guys again. After all Dean’s progress, this is a major step back.

Suddenly, his phone rings. It’s Adam. They greet each other, both sounding saddened by the whole thing. 

“The guys are still here. They’re pretty wasted by now. I’m not, though…nor is Richard. He’s worried too. The rest of the guys were as well…before they got pissed, especially Stephen. He seems to have taken a genuine liking to your kiwi. Even James looked remorseful”

“Thank you, Adam.”

“You’re welcome, my friend,” Adam says. “So you don’t know how he is?”

“We didn’t talk about it,” Aidan says and takes a deep breath. “He’s just sleeping now.”

“Poor, Dean,” Adam sighs sadly.

“Yeah…” Aidan replies. “Oh…would you tell Rich I’m sorry I had to leave so early? I didn’t even say goodbye to him.”

“Sure. He understands, of course, but sure.” 

They talk for a couple more minutes before saying goodbye and good night to each other. 

Aidan sighs and goes back to Dean’s bedroom. Gladly, the kiwi is sleeping peacefully, so the brunette carefully lies beside him. He isn’t able to fall asleep until way past dawn, when tiredness claims him at last.

\-----------------------------------

Dean opens his eyes and it takes him a while to come back to his senses and recall the events of the previous night. When he does, he wants to throw up.

“No,” the kiwi whimpers as he sits up violently on the bed and curses when he notices Aidan sleeping beside him. Luckily, the brunette doesn’t wake up. 

“Aid?” he tries in a whisper but gets no response from the younger man. Dean smiles tiredly at that. _Thank God for Aidan’s heavy sleep_ , he thinks and very carefully gets up from the bed. He barely had any sleep, neither of them did, but Aidan probably thought he had since the brunette didn’t even utter a word to him the whole night.   
Dean knows Aidan feels guilty, but for what? He’s not responsible for Luke’s actions.

He scrambles around the bedroom in search for his clothes, quietly. 

Taking the decision wasn’t easy, but a whole night of thinking was enough for Dean. He’ll go over to Luke’s and confront him. What other choice does he have? If he doesn’t stop this now, Luke will probably find a way to screw him over again…maybe even end his relationship with Aidan. No, this has to be stopped now.

The cold autumn air hits his face as the blond steps outside. Taking a deep breath, he starts walking towards the bus stop. He isn’t scared, but maybe a little nervous. The possibilities of Luke hurting him physically again are low, since Dean hasn’t really done anything lately that might anger the other man, but just for precaution, the blond grabs a rock from the ground –smaller than his fist, but big enough to cause some damage if he were to need it- and hides it in the pocket of his jacket.

The ride there is far too short to his liking and the kiwi feels his stomach cramp up. 

Stepping closer to the familiar door -looking threatening itself- Dean sends a small prayer for things to go smoothly before knocking on it thrice, even if he’s quite confident Luke won’t do anything stupid. He comes in peace. All he wants is for Luke to leave him be; starting a fight is the last thing on his mind.

Dean has to knock again -louder this time- for there’s no answer. Luke has to be inside, though, for his car is parked right in front of the house. He has to knock a third time for paces to be heard inside the house; wooden floor protesting under the man’s feet as he approaches the door where Dean awaits, taking deep breaths and tightening his small fists till his nails are piercing the skin of his palms. 

The door opens slowly and a shirtless Luke appears on the other side, yawning and looking like he’s just woken up. There’s a pause when the other man’s eyes meet his, and for a second, the blond fears he’s made a huge mistake.

“Hi,” Dean grimly greets, not breaking the stare. Luke sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning against the frame of the door, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What do you want?” Luke’s tone is aloof and it pisses Dean off. 

“You know why I came here,” the kiwi manages to sound as calm as possible. Any wrong move or word could result badly for him. “May I come in?”

Luke wordlessly lets him in by moving to one side and waving his arm in a ‘come in’ gesture.

Dean stands apprehensively by the door as he waits for Luke to close it. His fingers unconsciously wrap around the rock in his pocket. _Just in case_ , he repeats in his mind.

“Does Aidan know you’re here?” Luke circles him and walks over to the couch, sitting casually and pulling his feet upon the coffee table, seemingly uninterested in what the kiwi has to say. A very ‘Luke’ way of saying: _look at all the fuck’s I give_. 

“Yes,” he lies. Luke shouldn’t know no one knows Dean’s there.

“Ah… So what is it then?” The brunette asks, not even sparing him a glance, hand toying with the remote control. It wouldn’t surprise Dean if Luke turned on the TV right in the middle of him speaking, so he makes the bold move to stand in front of it, to which Luke scowls, dark eyes meeting his.

Now that he’s got Luke’s full attention, he dares to speak. “Luke…I didn’t come here to fight or anything like-”. Noise coming from the hallway interrupts him, and the clear sound of footsteps approaching the living room.

“I couldn’t find my underwear, so you can keep it as a souve- Dean!?” Orlando stands there, fully clothed and freshly showered, confused and a bit weary. “Um-hi… How are you?”

“Hi. I’m okay,” he says, smiling weakly. Luke just smirks at their awkward exchange. “I just…need to speak to Luke about something.”

Orland stiffly nods. “Okay, cool. I was about to leave…unless…” Orlando was there last time him and Luke had a confrontation, and now he is giving him the opportunity to ask him to stay. He smiles, grateful at Orlando’s considerate gesture but declines the offer with a small shake of his head. 

“Alright… See you tomorrow.”

He nods. “Bye.”

Luke stands up and sees Orlando to the door, then comes back to sit again. “You were saying…” 

The blond sighs. “…the photos… I want you to delete them. Please.” 

Luke seems amused by this and lights up cigarette, taking his time to answer, the waiting making Dean even more edgy. 

“What makes you think I’ll just do as you say?” Luke says, breathing out smoke with every word. “What do I get in exchange?”

“Nothing!” he’s quick to answer when he sees the lascivious look of Luke’s face. The brunette laughs at his reaction. Dean looks at him incredulously. “You’re sick! What are you gaining out of this? You never really liked me in the first place. Why are you even doing this? Or is it about Aidan? You can’t stand your friend being happy?” Words blurted out of his mouth and he was unable to control them.

“I guess you forget Aidan’s not my friend anymore…because of you.” There’s a tinge of resentment in Luke’s voice as he says that.

“No, Luke. You did that all by yourself,” he replies as calmly as possible.

“Aidan thinks I’m some sort of rapist,” Luke says; his jeering mood gone. “After all the times we fucked…you couldn’t handle a few kisses?”

“They weren’t just a few kisses…” Dean sighs in defeat. This situation has already gone out of control; it would be useless to continue talking to Luke.

“And you broke a mug on my head for that,” Luke says in a cold tone. “I needed stitches. Your little number forced me to pass on some good jobs. I lost my best friend.”

“I was scared!” the blond yells, unable to keep his frustration under control any longer, “I thought you were going to--”

“I would never do something like that!” Luke snaps back, interrupting him. “I wouldn’t have gone so far.”

“You went far enough…” he whispers. “I’m sorry, but I actually thought you were gonna do it… force me. I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did otherwise.”

Luke breaks their stare, visibly upset; a deep frown marring his handsome features. He meets Dean’s gaze deeply. “You really thought I would hurt you in that way?”

He nods somberly and Luke looks sick, and when the brunette speaks again, his voice falters, sounding completely different form his usual, sure self. “I-I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…Dean, I thought you were just upset by me cheating on you. I didn’t think you didn’t want me.”

“I meant it… when I said we were through. I came here to end it that morning Orlando- him being here and you cheating on me just made it easier.”

“Why did you even accept to be my boyfriend in the first place, then?” Luke asks, looking down at his hands. “Just so you could break up with me a few days later?”

Dean cringes at that, for Luke is right. He did exactly that and all because he was unable to be honest with the brunette and himself. Even Aidan had suffered because him. It hadn’t being fair on Luke. 

He came here to beg Luke to stop being a jerk, but now all he feels is shame.

“I know I shouldn’t have accepted. I never really wanted to be with you…I should have been honest with you.”

“You should have,” Luke replies, but he doesn’t even sound angry or annoyed, just…disappointed.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I still cheated,” Luke smiles sheepishly, but immediately turns serious, “and about that day at your place…forgive me. I came on too strong and ignored your protests. I honestly thought you wanted it. I thought you’d forgive me for cheating,” Luke smirks again, “I guess I deserved that mug on my head.”

“Well…I wasn’t honest with you and kept sending you mixed signals,” he says in shame, “but I still don’t understand why you are doing all this stuff now…the photos…”

Luke takes a deep breath before answering. “I was sort of drunk last night…and I started thinking about you…”

Dean frowns, for that explains nothing. “You sent the photos to your friends…they saw them while I was there. They saw me like… _that_. It was very humiliating, Luke.” Dean felt his anger come back, not nearly as strong as before, but it made his resolve strengthen. 

“Dean…”

“And you sent them to Aidan as well. Are you trying to get back at me for losing your friend? Do you want to break us off?”

“No,” Luke simply states.

“Then why?” 

“I liked you, Dean.” He stares agape at Luke’s confession. “I don’t normally ask guys to be my boyfriends, just so you know. And I know it might have seemed like I wanted you just for sex, but it pissed me off that I couldn’t stop thinking about you after our first nights together…that I wanted more, so I acted like I was….I don’t know…uninterested, maybe? I’m not of the idea of settling down for one person only. I kind of like my freedom. But then I asked you to be my boyfriend and you said yes…” Dean turns guilty eyes at Luke, but keeps quiet. “…and I was okay with that. I think- I think I was willing to give you and me a shot.” Luke seems sad as he says that. “And the Orlando thing…well…old habits die hard, I guess.”

It was a lot of information to digest. Luke was opening up to him in ways he’d never thought possible. Even Aidan didn’t know many of these things, most likely. 

Dean swallows audibly, nervous by Luke’s confession. “So…you are jealous of Aidan?”

“No. I don’t- I don’t know,” Luke vaguely tries to explain, “I probably was at one point…but now…I don’t think I am.”

“What about that time Aidan and me made out in front of you? You were enjoying it. You even encouraged it. What was that about? Weren’t you jealous?”

“Oh…that.” Luke scratches the back of his head. “I knew Aidan liked you too, probably before he knew it. I just wanted him to admit it.”

Dean opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

Luke sighs and stands up. “But that’s that.”

“Luke…” he says hesitant, weary of Luke’s reaction.

“Yeah?” Luke asks and turns to look at him directly, making Dean even more nervous.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” 

“I might have…” Dean stops to correct himself. He has to start being more straight-forward with Luke. “I applied for a restraining order against you. There’s going be a hearing…you’ll get a notification.”

Luke frowns and Dean takes a step back.

“What?” Luke seems on the brink of anger. “Why would you do that, Dean?”

“I don’t know. Like I told you, I was scared of what you could do to me… and now with the photos…and you showing up at my work place and all that happened there…” Dean stutters, trying to explain something that wasn’t even his idea in the first place, but he’s not about to tell on Adam either.

“Did Aidan tell you to do it?” Luke says, seemingly hurt by the idea.

“No. No, it wasn’t him,” Dean is quick to answer. “I…I’ll back out on it…I’ll just…”

Luke runs a hand through his hair. “Can you even do that?” 

“I don’t know,” Dean answers honestly. “I hope so…”

The brunette walks towards the door and opens it, silently asking him to leave. “I’ll delete all the photos. I’m sorry I sent them to the guys. Like I told you…I was drunk.” 

“Please do. I’ll see what I can do about…the thing,” Dean says and walks to the door. “I’m glad we could talk…and clear things up, hopefully?”

Luke nods, “Yeah…me too.”

Dean walks in deep thought towards the bus stop, dumping the rock to the ground, feeling really stupid for being so paranoid. Of all the possible reasons Luke did what he did, the last he would have imaged was that he liked him. But it still doesn’t make it right. Hopefully, Luke will keep true to his word and do a he said he would, otherwise, he’ll just end up like a fool who believes everything they’re told.

He enters his apartment and Aidan’s all over him, asking where he’s been.

“I went to clear things up with Luke,” the blond answers casually, taking off his jacket and walking to the kitchen.

“What!? You went all by yourself?” Aidan dramatically yells at him. “Are you insane?”

Dean was expecting a similar reaction from Aidan, but it still angers him. “Hey, hold your horses, okay? I did what I had to do and I couldn’t have done it with you there. It’s something between me and Luke, anyway.”

“Don’t you understand he could have hurt you?” Aidan keeps nagging in a loud tone. “Dean, how dense are you?”

“Okay, are you going stop, or do I have to ask you to leave?” He snaps and Aidan looks hurt.

“I’m sorry…I just worry about you, is all,” Aidan replies in a softer tone. “And did you?”

“What?” Dean asks confused.

“Clear things up?” 

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Seriously?” 

The brunette seems a bit skeptical, surprised even, but he’s quick to reassure him. “Yes, seriously.” 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Aidan asks; arms crossed over his chest.

“I want to but I believe it’s best if _you_ talk to him…and maybe clear things up between you two as well, but without arguing or fighting. And tell him to be honest with you. I think there might be things you don’t know about him.” 

Aidan frowns in confusion. “Alright…I will.” 

“Good.” He smiles at the brunette. “Oh, and I need to back down on the restraining order.” Aidan is about to protest but the kiwi shrugs it off. “Have you had breakfast yet?”

\-----------------------------------

Dean wanting to back down on the restraining order meant things had gone well with Luke. He wants to think that’s true, but Luke has done way too many stupid things lately to just believe it. To be certain, he’ll have to do as Dean says and go talk to Luke. 

Still, it bothers Aidan that Dean didn’t tell him he was going. Luke could have hurt him. He did so in two previous occasions and Aidan’s not about to just letting that go. Dean should have told him, at least to know where the blond was had something happened. 

Aidan shakes his head in denial, answering Dean’s question. “Um…no, I didn’t. I was too worried to eat anything.”

“Aw…how sweet of you. But I’m fine…Luke was ok,” Dean says as he puts down the kettle. “You want pancakes?”

“Yeah, sure,” Aidan answers with a smile, curiously observing the blond. “Now that I know you are okay I can eat everything you feed me.” Dean seems quite pleased with himself, and confident. He likes that. 

“Then help me and set the table,” Dean says, mixing the ingredients for pancakes in a bowl.

Aidan walks closer to stand behind Dean, putting his hands on the blonds’ waist and kissing the back of his neck. “Sure thing, babe.” 

Dean giggles at the brunette’s actions and leans back against his chest while still mixing, and tips his head back to kiss Aidan on the lips. They part, smiling lovingly at each other. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

They eat their breakfast and Aidan washes the dishes while Dean takes a shower. His thoughts plagued with questions about Luke and what had transferred between him and the kiwi. He’s glad Dean didn’t seem upset about yesterday anymore. It shows how strong the kiwi really is to overcome all the shit thrown at him with a smile and hopeful attitude, even loaded with self-love and confidence issues. All in all, it still had been a pretty shitty move from Luke, for whatever reason he did it, it’s not something Dean should just brush off. But, that’s not his call to make. If Dean wants to forgive and forget, then Aidan will support him. 

And what was that about him not knowing some things about Luke? 

His thoughts get interrupted when the kiwi comes out of the bathroom, looking fresh and even lighter of heart that before. Aidan dries his hands on a dish cloth and turns to the approaching blond. “You are feeling better about last night, apparently.”

Dean’s expression turns grim and Aidan wants to kick himself. “A bit…but it’ll take a long time for me to face your friends again.”

“They could be your friends too,” the Irishman says and hugs the blond to him, inhaling the sweet scent of shampoo on the damp locks. Dean melts in the embrace and nods softly. “Do you still want to go see my new place?” Aidan mumbles against Dean’s hair.

“Yeah…but I want to talk to Jared before we go. I haven’t talked to him in a while.”

“Whatever you want, babe.”

\------------------------------------------

Aidan takes a shower while he talks to Jared. His friend looks all smiley and happy -more than usual- and Dean has a good clue on why.

“You look awfully giddy today,” Dean says, smiling suggestively.

“Shut up,” Jared replies. “Don’t even think about embarrassing me, O’Gorman.”

“Oh, she’s there?” he beams, excited to meet this mysterious girl. His friend is the greatest guy in the world, so this girl must be pretty great too if she’s making Jared so happy.

“Yeah, she’s making coffee.” Jared can’t stop smiling for a second. “She’ll come right up.”

“It’s Fern, is it?” Dean whispers, doubting his memory. 

“Yes,” Jared whispers back. “Here she comes.”

“There wasn’t any milk, so I put some crea- Oh, hi!” Fern greets when she spots him, “You must be Dean. It’s really nice to finally meet you…talk to you,” she says in a very cheerful and melodic voice, setting the two cups of coffee on the desk; her short, straight blond hair flowing with her head movements. 

“And you must be Fern…it’s very nice to meet you too. Jared has told me great things about you,” Dean greets back politely. He feels a bit shy, but that’s nothing new when meeting new people, not to him at east. But he likes Fern already; he can see why Jared likes her. She seems really kind, and she’s very beautiful too.

“He has?” She says smiling sweetly, looking at Jared and sits down beside him. “He’s told me pretty much everything about you, Dean. I feel like I already know you.” Jared flings an arm around her and kisses her on the temple. They look really cute together. And Jared seems happier than ever.

“I just hope he didn’t embarrass me too much…Jared likes doing that,” he says in feigned contempt. 

Jared laughs at that. “No, not yet, I wanted her to meet you in person before I do that.” 

“You have nothing to worry about. He’s done nothing but praise you so far. I’ll scold him if he tries to embarrass you.”

“Thank you, Fern,” he smiles at her.

Aidan comes out of the bathroom and Dean signals for him to sit down and say hi.

“Oh, Fern, this is Aidan…my…um-friend….” 

“You are just friends yet? Aidan, what’s taking you so long?” Jared says smirking.

“Hi, Fern, nice meeting you,” Aidan dodges Jared’s tease like an expert, but smiles sheepishly.

“Nice to meet you too, Aidan. You make a cute couple, if you don’t mind me saying,” Fern says honestly, smiling sweetly at them.

“Thanks, Fern, we think so too,” Aidan answers in his teasing tone and looks at Dean lovingly.

They talk for nearly an hour. Fern’s amazing. Dean practically loves her already. Jared’s always been a bit reserved with the matters of the heart, so seeing him laughing and openly talking about his relationship with Fern means a lot. She seems to be the one for Jared, in every way. Dean selfishly hopes for them to get married soon, so he has a strong motive to visit home. He’ll be happy for them as well, of course.

“She’s great, don’t you think?” Dean says in the car, on their way to Aidan’s new place. 

“Yeah, she’s really nice. Jared seemed very happy." 

“I know, right?” 

\----------------------------------

Aidan opens the door to the apartment. It still looks as good as he remembers, better now with Dean in the room. The kiwi seems to like it too.

“It’s beautiful, Aid.” Dean says in amazement as he inspects the living room. “It’s got great lightning.”

“Yes. The view is great, too.” He smiles at Dean’s reaction as he leans to look out the window. 

“I can see the park from here!”

“Yes,” Aidan continues to smile. This is definitely the right place. “Come see the kitchen.”

“Wow…it’s beautiful…and it’s got room for a breakfast table,” Dean says in excitement as he enters the sun lit room.

“Yes. We can have many breakfasts here,” Aidan says and walks over to where Dean is admiring the view from the kitchen, and wraps his arms around him. “I’m gonna need your help decorating this thing, I’m completely lost in that area…and with picking out furniture. I barely had any back in the house.”

“I’d love to!” Dean turns in his embrace and hugs him back. They kiss softly. 

Once they’ve seen it all, Aidan takes Dean back to his place before going to work. He’ll have to plan things quickly for he’s only free to go at six. Thank the gods he’s got Adam to help him. 

Aidan had been planning this for a little over a week, with lots of help from Jared, and now Adam’s since he’s helping him with the food. All he really has to do is take his mattress and some other things he’d previously bought, back to the apartment. 

Once free of work, Aidan texts Dean his invitation for dinner, and after buying and doing some necessary things, he meets up with Adam, who has been waiting outside his building, carrying a huge bag -filled with food presumably. 

“You made it…finally,” Adam teases, “I’ve only been waiting for half an hour out here in the cold.”

“Sorry, it took longer than I expected,” he apologizes and starts taking down his mattress from the back of his truck.

“Here’s the key, be a dear and open the door for me.” Aidan knows better than to ask Adam to help him carry the mattress, so he takes it on his own up the flights of stairs. Now inside is apartment, he places it in the middle of the living room and grabs a nice looking blanket, lost on what to do next.

“Let me help you with that,” Adam says, taking the blanket from his hands and puts it over the mattress in a stylistic way. It’s Adam’s blanket, since he didn’t own a decent one. This one’s a deep red and very soft, perfect for the occasion. Adam also lent him some nice looking cushions to go with the romantic décor. 

“Thanks so much, Adam,” he hugs his friend in thanks. “Now I just have to put the food in plates and lit the fire, but other than that, I think I’m good. You can go now.”

“Subtle,” Adam jokes, “but, yeah, I don’t want to be here when you two get to it.”

“Yeah, right. You’d love to see that, you little perv.”

Adam laughs at that, but nods. “You caught me.”

After Adam leaves, he gets the rest of the stuff from his truck and starts lighting the fire. Aidan takes a couple of roses, and rips the petals off, throwing them on the floor around the mattress and towards the door. Very cliché, but he hopes it’ll do the job. Then, the brunette goes to the kitchen to collect the white wine and glasses and sets them down on the floor. He’s got scented candles as well so he puts them around the mattress in as pretty a fashion as he can. And last but definitely not least, Aidan plants a paper wrapped box in the middle of the mattress. A present he’s very excited to give Dean. He just hopes the kiwi doesn’t think it too much. Or is it all too much? He’s not asking the blond to marry him, but this is still a big deal for Aidan. The brunette just hopes it is for Dean as well. 

Brushing all doubt aside, Aidan leaves the apartment and drives to Dean’s place to pick him up. 

\------------------------------

Aidan is acting a bit strange…sort of nervous. He invited Dean out to dinner by text message and he gladly accepted, dressing up nicely, with a dark blue buttoned down and light brown pants. They stop on their way by Aidan’s apartment.

“I’ve got to take some things upstairs for tomorrow. There’re some details I have to work on. Come with?” Aidan says and he goes with him.

They walk in silence and Dean can sense something’s going on, but keeps quiet. When Aidan opens the door, he can see exactly what it is.

There are candles lit and a fire going in the white chimney. Rose petals are scattered around a mattress in middle of the living room, covered in cushions and a blanket. There’s wine as well, and glasses. But what catches his interest the most is the box wrapped in silvery white paper, with a huge blue ribbon on top. 

“Aid?” he asks surprised. “What did you do?”

“Ah…nothing…I just got you a present,” says Aidan casually, walking past him and into the center of the living room. He takes the box in his hands and holds it out for Dean to take. “Come here and tell me if you like it.”

“Aid…” Dean begins but there are no words coming out apparently.

“Here,” Aidan says smiling brightly and handing him the present. Dean is hesitant, but accepts it anyway. It’s heavy so he knows it’s something expensive, but why on earth would Aidan do something like this?

“Well…open it,” Aidan encourages him and the blond nods, kneeling down on the mattress he takes the lid off and places it carefully down. Whatever it is, it’s wrapped in lots of white paper, so he has to peal it off, layer by layer, till he finally touches something hard. He takes a deep breath and looks up at the brunette, who eagerly waits for his reaction. He already knows what it is, although he can’t quite believe it.

“You didn’t…” Dean says; incredulity in his tone. 

“I did,” Aidan nods, smiling brightly.

Dean grabs the hard thing and pulls it out of the box, inspecting it in awe. “Aidan…”

“Before you say it’s too much and you can’t accept it…just take a good look at it.”

Dean does as he’s told, too overwhelmed to protest. The kiwi inspects the camera closely; and his breath gets caught in his throat. This is not just some random new camera. This is _his_ camera.

“How…Aid…how did you-?”

“With lots of help from Jared,” Aidan says, smiling sheepishly; a proud glint in his eyes. “I thought about getting you a brand new one…so, I called Jared to ask him which would be the perfect camera for you. He ended up telling me how much you loved your own camera and how hard it was on you having to sell it. He told me how meaningful it had been for you to be able to purchase it in the first place, and that you did so with a lot of effort.” Dean’s about to burst into tears about now, but manages to hold up, looking at _his_ camera all over, trying to convince himself it was so. “So…we tracked down the guy who bought it. Jared went to his house. He remembered his address…and…here it is…back with its owner, where it belongs.”

“I can’t believe this, Aidan.” Dean holds his camera against his chest, staring at the brunette in wonder. 

“Jared made sure it was in great condition,” says the Irishman. 

Dean sits there in shock. “This is…”

“Oh, that’s right!” Aidan leans down and lifts some of the cushions, taking a black bag with him and handing it to the kiwi. “Here, this is everything it came with.”

By now, the tears run freely down his cheeks. Aidan has outdone himself this time. He can’t even think straight.

“Aidan…Thank you so much!” He throws himself at the brunette, wrapping his free arm around the other’s waist. Aidan returns the hug just as fervently. 

“You’re welcome, babe.” 

“Still, this is too much…” he says, but Aidan just hugs him tighter, camera poking him hard in the chest but he doesn’t care. 

“Oh, right,” Aidan says as they part briefly. “I almost forgot…I’ve got something to ask you.” 

Dean smiles brightly, expectant on Aidan’s question. “Yes?”

“And don’t take this gift as me pressuring you, but…would you be my boyfriend, Dean?” Aidan finally asks him.

“Of course, Aid.” Dean leans forward and kisses the brunette’s willing mouth. When they part, they are both a little bit out of breath. “I was starting to doubt you’d ask…and then I thought about doing it…but, you know how insecure I am sometimes. I had no idea you were planning all this.”

“How about we celebrate with some- oh shit, I forgot something. Wait right here.”

“You mean there’s more?” Dean asks in shock. Aidan comes back from the kitchen a couple minutes later, holding two big plates filled with sweets. 

\-----------------------------

Aidan comes back from the kitchen to find Dean still staring in awe at his camera. He smiles fondly at the sight. When Dean notices him he speaks again. “Now…I didn’t make any of these. These are all Adam’s. He helped me a bit with the decoration, too.”

“How nice of him, I’ll have to thank him,” Dean says, smiling brightly and taking a dipped in chocolate strawberry from one of the plates. Everything looks delicious. There’s even small chocolate cake squares. The kiwi brings the strawberry to Aidan’s lips and he takes a bite. 

“Mmh…this is really good. Try one,” Aidan says and does the same for Dean, relishing at the erotic sight as the blond nips on the chocolate dipped fruit. A small trail of juice runs down the side of Dean’s jaw, which Aidan kisses clean.

After they eat and drink most of the wine, they make love passionately for the first time in Aidan’s new place. 

“Aidan…I’m close…” the older man huffs out, face contorted in pleasure. Dean comes, followed almost immediately by Aidan, who grunts out, riding out his orgasm inside the blond. He collapses on top of Dean, who wraps his arms around Aidan’s back, holding him against his chest, both breathing in sync.

“Thank you for being so good to me…and for being my boyfriend. It’s the best gift I could have asked for,” Dean whispers against his temple, kissing his curls softly. Aidan smiles, content in staying in his boyfriend’s arms as sleep engulfs him.


	25. Chapter twenty five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. I had a mayor writers block and practically re-wrote the whole chapter...and I'm still not happy with it, but I doubt it'll get any better so here it is! Hope you enjoy! And thanks for all the support...and the patience.

Aidan wakes up to find Dean fumbling with his camera; a deep, concentrated look on his face. He grins and reaches out a hand to touch a lightly freckled shoulder. “Good morning, love,” Aidan greets, startling Dean a bit.

“Oh, good morning _boyfriend_ ,” Dean says smiling brightly and leans closer to give Aidan a tender kiss. 

“What were you doing?” Aidan asks once they part.

Dean lifts his camera towards Aidan’s line of vision. “I was just…getting familiar with it again. I might have taken a few shots of you sleeping. Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay.” Aidan beams at Dean. “Let me see.”

“Okay…” Dean sits closer and Aidan sits up, letting the kiwi show him his work. 

“Seriously, Dean, how can you make _me_ sleeping look artistic?” He says in awe, for yeah, he’s not in the most artistic position by any means, but the angle and the light and Dean’s talent have made the photos look simple, but beautiful. “Thank God I wasn’t drooling.” Dean giggles and continues to scroll through the photos. Most of them were of him―and there were tons― but there were a few of the view from the living room. It was raining, so the view was partially cloaked by the rain drops staining the window. It gave the photo a beautiful, melancholic touch. “Dean, you seriously have talent.”

The blond blushes and shrugs. “Thank you. I’m not that good yet, though. But it’s what I love to do.”

“What are you talking about? Look at these.” 

“They’re just rough photos. It’s just a warm up.”

“Well, look at you being all smug about your talent.” Aidan smiles at Dean’s bashful smile. “But you don’t need to be modest; if you are good―and you are―you should be proud of it.”

“You really think I’m good?” 

“Very! I mean…I know I’m not a _connoisseur_ in the art of photography, but I can still appreciate a beautiful picture. As soon as the weather clears up a bit, I’m gonna take you to see some cool places where you can warm up some more.”

Dean laughs but nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! I’d love that!”

――――――――――――――――

It turned out that all Dean needed to lift the restraining order was to do some paper work back at the court house. He delivers the paper work back to the clerk with a heavy heart. Is this the right choice? Dean honestly hopes so. As he walks towards the café, the kiwi tries to convince himself that it is so. 

“So how have you been?” Orlando asks casually while cleaning the coffee machine. “Things went okay with Luke?”

Dean shrugs in response. He’d rather not talk about certain matters at work, but Orlando seems genuinely interested, and as of late, they’ve become pretty decent friends. There’s also the fact that the Brit knows most of the blonds’ issues with Luke so there’s no need to be secretive.

He takes a sip of his chai tea before answering. “I guess they did. I just hope I’m not being bullshited, you know?”

“Luke’s not a bad guy,” Orlando is quick to say. “I mean…I don’t know him _that_ much, but I can tell he’s got some…issues―which by no means justify what he did to you, of course― but…I guess you can tell what I’m trying to say.”

Dean nods, and although he’s not completely sure what Orlando seems to be on, Luke did seem very different from what he’d come to know so far. Like there was an actual person under all the smug and smirks. 

He smiles suddenly. “You like him.”

Orlando cracks a smirk and nods. “I’m getting to know him, yeah.”

“I hope I’m not intruding but…don’t you have a girlfriend?” Dean dares to ask. The door opens with the first customer of the day and they both look up.

“I did,” the brunette says as he resumes cleaning. “She somehow found out I was cheating― women are intuitive like that―so… she left me.”

The blond wants to slap himself for even daring to ask. “Oh―I’m…” He wants to say he’s sorry, but the word dies on his lips. Orlando cheated and got what he deserved; simple as that.

“I should be sorry, I know,” Orlando shrugs, practically reading Dean’s troubled mind, “but somehow I’m not. Luke’s been a great distraction as you can imagine.”

Dean wants to be sympathetic, but he knows what it feels like to be on the other end so he keeps quiet. 

“I should tend to that customer.”

\-------------------------------

Aidan steps out of the car and goes to the truck to retrieve the boxes to pack all his stuff. He’s been having second thoughts about talking to Luke again, but what Dean said left him wondering. Who knows? They might end up on good terms again. 

As he enters, he sees Luke standing by the stove in the kitchen. 

“Hi,” he greets, leaving the boxes by the door. 

“Hey,” Luke greets back without even turning towards him. “Oh, good! Since you decided to show up, I’ll have you taking your shit elsewhere. I need that room to be empty in a few days. Orlando’s going to live here now. His girlfriend left him, so he couldn’t―”

“I don’t give two shits about Orlando. But it’s good to know you found a roommate.” Aidan says honestly. He’d felt a bit guilty leaving Luke to pay rent all by himself. “And don’t you worry; I’ve come to do just that,” he says, showing Luke the boxes he brought, and then sighs, “and to talk to you…”

“Oh yeah? What is it this time? Did I say something to your lover you don’t approve of and you’ve come to smash my face again?” Luke says, turning to face him now, and when he does, it’s with a grim expression on his face. “I warn you, though; I won’t hold back this time.”

“I just want us to talk,” Aidan says in a peaceful tone to which Luke smirks.

“Alright…then talk.”

Aidan takes a deep breath. It annoys him―Luke’s attitude―but it’s nothing new so he tries to keep his temper under control. “Can you be honest with me?” he practically pleads, remembering Dean’s advice.

Luke crosses his arms over his chest, deeply staring at him― challenging Aidan. “When am I not?” 

“Y―you never are,” he stutters. 

“I have never lied to you, Aidan.” The frankness in which Luke says it throws him off a bit…because it’s true…in a way.

“No, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Luke shrugs.

“Try to turn things around. You know what I mean. How am I supposed to know if you’re being honest when you have that sarcastic grin plastered on your face all the freaking time?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not being honest.”

“Tell me something then,” Aidan takes a few steps closer to the Welshman. “What did you tell Dean?”

“Why don’t you ask him? It’s not like you’re going to believe what I tell you.” Luke grabs a plate with the noodles he was making and walks around the counter to sit on the living room.

Aidan’s eyes follow Luke’s form across the living room. “I did. He told me to come and talk to you.”

Luke sighs in defeat. “I told him that I liked him…for real.”

“C’mon. You didn’t like him,” Aidan states, annoyed at Luke’s weak attempt. “Not really. You did all that because you knew I liked him― to make me jealous.”

“So self involved, Aidan,” Luke says when he’s done chewing. “I did like him, even if you don’t like the idea.”

Aidan sees honesty in Luke’s eyes and it’s disturbing. To hear Luke being so…serious and open makes him realize something: He’s never had a real conversation with Luke.

The Irishman sighs and rubs his face with one hand. “Well…if you liked him so much, then why—”

“Why was I such a jerk?” Luke smirks. 

“Well…yeah. You went out of your ways to be an asshole towards Dean. You’re lucky he stayed as long as he did.” Luke keeps quiet but continues staring at him, smirk and all―but to Aidan, the smirk is only a facade. “It’s like you wanted him to hate you. You always push people away by being a dick…even me.”

Luke seems to tense up at that and immediately changes the course of the conversation. “You are such a hypocrite, Aidan,” the other man snorts. “I never treated Dean any different than my previous lovers. Why didn’t you say something then, uh? Why didn’t you step up and became their knight in shining armor as well? Only because you wanted Dean for yourself did you step up.” Luke smirks mischievously. “It took you a while, though.”

Aidan frowns and lets the anger sip through him. “I―that’s different! I care for Dean. Of course it bothered me how you were treating him. I couldn’t just sit there with my arms crossed.” 

“And you went behind my back to woo him.”

“Well, I caved. I liked him too much― and you didn’t make it any easier to me, either. That night at Dean’s apartment…it was _you_ who instigated it. So how was I supposed to believe you liked him for real, when it seemed like you wanted something to happen between us?” He takes a deep breath. “And you treated Dean way worse than any others before.”

Luke huffs out. “Why are you always trying to make him play the victim? He’s a grown man, Aidan. I think he’s more than capable of―”

“Of what― saying no?” Aidan interrupts him. “That doesn’t work if the other person won’t listen. You are stronger than him. You practically broke in into his apartment could have easily overpowered him. He knew that. That’s why he was so scared. Dean knew he didn’t stand a chance against you.”

“I beg to disagree,” Luke laughs out. “ _I_ didn’t stand a chance against him and his mug.”

Aidan stands there, a frown plastered on his face. “Do you hear yourself? Is it funny to you that he had to go to such desperate measures to make you stop?”

Luke’s expression turns grim and he seems agitated. “No. I don’t think it’s funny. I know fucked up. We talked about it with Dean and I apologized. I realize it now. I came on too aggressive and misread the signals…but I wasn’t going to fucking rape him!”

Aidan can see Luke’s detachment start to crumble; a rather new―and quite unsettling―display on the Welshman’s part. Luke doesn’t do emotional. Aloof and impassive are his personal brand. Though now, Aidan can clearly see Luke’s, apparently troubled interior, is surrounded by thick, impenetrable safety walls―but those walls are starting to crack.

“Do do honestly think me capable of that, Aidan?” Luke glares at him. 

Aidan answers seriously. “I honestly don’t know.” Luke seems to deflate. “I feel like I don’t really know you. I mean, yeah, we’ve been friends for years, and we’ve had tons of fun times together, but I feel like I don’t know much about you. You never tell me anything, nothing meaningful, at least. And you’re always hiding behind that grin and that _I don’t give a shit_ attitude… And I’m supposed your friend… your only friend. With the guys―you barely talk to them― only James seems a bit closer to you but that guy is friends with everyone. The only thing I can think of―as to why you act this way―is that you push people away deliberately…as if you are scared of letting them in.” 

Luke glares at him in silence.

Aidan takes a deep breath before what he’s about to say. 

“Is it because of your mom?”

“Don’t go there…just don’t,” Luke warns, threatening to clam up again. He stands up and walks towards the safety of his room.

“Why not?” Aidan pushes, following Luke towards his room. “Cause it seems to me that you are afraid of getting attached to people. And I’m no expert, but I guess it’s because you fear losing them.”

“Fuck off, Aidan.”

“I just want to understand, mate,” Aidan pleads “Why do act this way? Are you afraid of people leaving you like your mom did?” He knows it’s a cheap shot, but Aidan just doesn’t know how else to reach to the other man. 

Luke sighs and lets a small smirk―although a rather bleak one―grace his lips, then meets his waiting eyes. “You did.”

Aidan wasn’t waiting for that reply. Not in a million years. He swallows soundly and has to look away, fixing his stare on Luke’s messy bed; shame and guilt envelope him. Did he really bail out on Luke? Aidan wonders.

Luke's mother had always been a forbidden subject, and Aidan only learned what happened from of his own mother, but whenever Aidan had tried to even bring up the subject with Luke, his friend would close up and leave. 

When they were kids, Luke used to spend almost every day at their house, and Aidan had asked his mum why Luke didn’t like to be at his own home anymore and his mother had explained: Luke’s mom had left, leaving behind her two sons―as Aidan learned later― escaping her husband’s abuse. Luke never forgave her, of course, and he had every reason not to. Aidan believes it’s the reason why Luke always runs from deep, meaningful relationships. Maybe Luke fears getting attached only to be left again. Sadly, Aidan had done exactly that. 

Aidan understands Luke a bit better now. It took him a long while, though. The evidence was there, he just refused to see it.

“Why don’t you fuck off, and take your shit with you?” Luke says in a quiet, severe tone.

“Luke―”

“What? You’ve got something else to say?” Luke’s tone is impatient. He really seems to want Aidan gone, so Aidan complies.

“Nothing,” the Irishman says and adverts his gaze form his former friend’s deep glare. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He turns towards the door, but stops himself, turning back around to say one more thing to Luke. “You know what? I’m not bailing out on you, even if you make it so damn difficult to want to stick around. I still care about you.” Luke just gives him a bemused lift of his eyebrows as reply. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

It takes him just a couple of hours to put all his things inside the boxes―with no particular order whatsoever―and fill his truck with them, his only vehicle, since he sold his car to meet his new place budget.

The Irishman surveys all his belongings. It's a pathetically small amount but it makes him feel liberated. Although, Aidan knows he’s going to have to change that pretty soon. His new place doesn’t have one piece of furniture in it and he has to make it look decent for Dean. The kiwi’s an artist, and for sure he’ll notice if his place looks like crap. He won’t care most likely, but still. 

With one last glance at what had been his home for the past six years, he starts the engine and drives to his new home.

――――――――――――――――

Dean leaves his shift at six. Orlando offers him a ride home since Aidan’s busy packing at that time. Companionable silence engulfs them on the way to his apartment, until the Britt breaks it. “Um…I don’t know if it’ll bother you, but I’m kind of moving in with Luke soon― thought you should know.”

The kiwi looks at the brunette quizzically. “Why would it bother me?”

“Well, you know―all the things that happened,” Orlando vaguely says, “and I wanted you to hear it from me…not to make the same mistake again.”

“Um…thank you―I guess,” Dean shrugs. “So it _is_ going serious.” He smirks at the brunette.

Orlando huffs out a laugh. “Not really. It’s just that conveniently enough, Luke lost his roommate recently,” he gives Dean a comical look, “and since my girlfriend―I mean ex― no longer lives with me, rent was starting to become a problem. But you know…we’ll see what happens.”

Orlando seems really caught on Luke, and Dean wonders if the Welshman will be good for his friend. He almost voices his doubts but stops himself wisely. It’s none of his business. And Orlando’s no saint either. “Then I wish you all the luck,” he says instead.

“Thanks,” Orlando says smiling. “Oh, I forgot to ask how things are going with you and Aidan. God, I’m the lousiest friend ever. Did you like…move in together then?”

Dean laughs at that. “You’re not. And things are going great. We are officially boyfriends since yesterday, but no, we didn’t move in together. Aidan got his own place.”

“Oh― but it’s great you’ve become boyfriends. Congratulations Dean!” Orlando says enthusiastically as he pulls over outside Dean’s apartment. He could have asked Orlando to take him directly towards Aidan’s but maybe it’s better if Orlando doesn’t know where his boyfriend lives. He could tell Luke― and though Dean doesn’t know why it should matter― it’s Aidan’s choice if he wants his former friend to know where his new place is.

“Okay, here we are.”

“Thanks for the ride,” Dean says and thinks for a second if he should invite Orlando for a drink or something but thinks against it. Aidan told him to meet him outside his place in ten minutes, so it’s not like he has the time. 

Stepping out of the car and closing the door, the blond leans by the open window to say goodbye to his friend. “See you at work. Bye.”

――――――――――――――

Dean walks to Aidan’s place after a nice shower. It’s great that he can walk there. It makes him feel safer, although he doesn’t quite have a reason not to feel safe since things are dealt with Luke. But having his boyfriend― his main support in this foreign country― close by, is still reassuring.

A smile forms on his lips when he spots the brunette taking a box from the back of his truck. 

“Need any help?” Aidan smiles brightly as he spots him, leaving the box on the ground and moving closer to wrap the kiwi in a hug. 

“Hey, love.” They kiss chastely before letting go of each other.

“I arrived right on time, apparently.”

“Yeah…I’ve just taken two boxes upstairs. There’s not much though.” 

“Oh―so you weren’t kidding when you said you needed to buy furniture.”

“Pretty much. I only have my bed.” Aidan lifts a box and hands it over to him. “Here you go.”

Dean frowns. “It barely weighs anything. What do you have here, pillows? C’mon, give me a real box.”

“But I don’t want you to strain yourself, love,” Aidan says smiling. “I’m used to heavy lifting. You’re not.”

“What do you know?” Dean says, a bit annoyed at Aidan’s over-protectiveness, but keeps the playful tone. “I might be short, but I’m strong.”

“Sure, babe.” Dean huffs at Aidan’s ironic tone. “But ok, let me get you a _real box_. Here you go.”

It weighs considerably more than the other one, so he smiles. “That’s more like it.” 

――――――――――――――――

They take upstairs all of Aidan’s belongings in less than twenty minutes. Dean starts arranging things as best he can without any furniture. 

“Well, I guess these boxes will have to do for now,” the blond says as he folds Aidan’s clothes and lays them on top of one.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. They’ll be a mess again before you know it.” Aidan says as he assembles his bed. “I’ll have to go furniture shopping soon. Care to join? I kinda need you to help me choose; no pressure, though.”

“I told you already, I’d love to help you,” Dean smiles sweetly, approaching Aidan. “I like your bed. It’ll look great with dark wood.” 

“Dark wood?” Aidan asks with a mischievous smirk on his face.

Dean lets out a laugh. “Shut up.” He opens a box with kitchen utensils―a ridiculously poor amount― and rummages through it trying to find matching plates. No luck.

“Um, Aid?” Dean asks after a while, holding up Aidan’s favorite tea spoon. It has fish scales in the handle. “Do you seriously own just one spoon?” 

A bark of laughter is Dean’s answer. Aidan turns serious abruptly. “Yes.” 

It’s the blonds’ turn to laugh now. “Babe, you really do need my help.”

“Told ya.”

After everything is stored, Dean walks behind Aidan, sneaking his arms around the brunette’s middle. 

“I love you.” Dean says, voice muffled by being pressed against Aidan’s back. “Can I stay the night?”

Aidan smiles in relief. He had been about to ask Dean if he wanted a lift home, and him, having no reason not to want to stay at his own place anymore, would have had to come back and sleep alone― without his precious kiwi in his arms.

“Of course you can, love.” He turns in Dean’s embrace and wraps his arms around the blonds’ back, rubbing up and down over the soft fabric of Dean’s cardigan.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’m capable of sleeping without you anymore. What have you done to me?” Dean says against his chest; hands lazily scratching Aidan’s back.

“I think we’ve done the same to each other.” He places a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead.

“I didn’t bring my toothbrush.”

“Crap, I forgot mine at yours.”

They go to the grocery store quickly, a good half hour before its closing time. Aidan buys a tooth brush for himself and one for Dean as well. 

“We need something to eat too. There’s no food at all in my apartment. So…take out?”

“Or pasta, maybe?” Dean shrugs. “Since you don’t have anything but a small pot it’ll have to be something easy. But I’d like us to cook in your new apartment for the first time. That’s the best way to inaugurate a new home in my opinion―that and sex, but we already did that.”

Aidan’s smile brightens. “You’re absolutely right, babe. We’ll need something for breakfast as well.”

They continue to buy some more groceries; giggling and hugging here and there like a couple of teenagers. When in the middle of picking some tomatoes― Aidan’s hand around Dean’s waist―they hear a male voice from behind.

“Hi!”

Aidan turns around to see Richard standing there, holding a supermarket cart filled to the brim with groceries. “Rich. Hi!” They both hug shortly.

Giving a sideways glance at Dean, Aidan notices how nervous his boyfriend looks. 

“Um…Hello, Richard… How are you?”

“I’m good. And _you_?” Richard’s question seems simple, but his tone tells a different story. The taller man is clearly asking Dean directly how he’s doing after the whole incident and Dean evidently feels the weight of the question, which is why the kiwi is digging his small fingers painfully on Aidan’s back. 

“We’re fine as well,” Aidan is quick to answer before Dean claws at his skin deep enough to cause actual damage. “So you were also in desperate need for groceries apparently.”

“Yes. I needed to refill my supplies after being so long away,” Richard says in a light tone, smiling slightly.

“Yeah, I bet. We are here on a similar quest.” Aidan hugs Dean closer to his side. “I’ve just moved to my new apartment―and I’m waiting to have an actual table before inviting you guys over―so there was absolutely nothing for us to cook and Dean here insists cooking there for the first time is a great way to inaugurate the place.” 

“He’s right.” Richard replies. His icy, inquiring eyes set on Dean, who has kept quiet during their exchange. The Englishman offers a kind smile to the blond. 

Aidan carefully inspects the kiwi’s reaction. At first Dean tries to avoid Richards gaze but when he meets it, he holds it steadily. Richard places a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to feel ashamed about what happened. It’s not your fault. And trust me, Dean; nobody’s judging you.” 

Richard’s tone holds so much confidence and it’s so reassuring, that even Aidan feels comforted. Dean clearly is as well, for a small, honest smile graces his lips. Embarrassed suddenly, and with a slight blush on his cheeks, the blond looks down at his feet. “Thank you, Richard.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Richard replies in all modesty, oblivious to the powerful effect his words have on them both. “Well, I don’t want to keep you two for longer, and I need to grab a few more things, but I hope I see you two soon. Goodbye.”

Dean sighs deeply beside him once Richards gone. “He’s really, really nice.”

Acutely aware of the double _really_ , Aidan nods, letting out a sigh of his own. “That’s good ol’ Richard. Did he make you feel better?”

“Yeah,” Dean says with determination. 

Aidan frowns unconsciously before smiling. “I’m glad.” 

Once back at his apartment, Aidan helps Dean making pasta with tomato sauce, and learns a few useful tips here and there about cooking. 

“So I did what you told me,” the brunette says after a while, leaning back on the counter behind him, watching as Dean stirs the pasta.

“What?”

“Talk to Luke …really talking to him,” he says, playing with a dish cloth.

Dean leaves the water to boil and turns to face him, suddenly very interested. “Yeah? How did it go?”

Aidan sighs, lifting his eyebrows and nodding slightly. “Pretty well, I guess. Better than I expected.”

“You want to tell me about it?” Dean cocks his head to the side in an extremely adorable gesture.

He nods and Dean comes closer. “I guess I found out some things I didn’t know about Luke―well, I always did but never really understood how much they affected him.”

“How so?”

“Some family issues he’s got…they pretty much keep haunting him and they’re probably the reason why he is the way he is…” _…and why he pushes people away_ , he ends in thought.

Dean nods in understanding. The blond looks like he wants to know more but refrains from asking, and Aidan doesn’t say anymore. There’s a silent, mutual understanding; Luke’s matters are his alone and Aidan shouldn’t be spreading them around. Not with anyone.

“So―did you manage to find a common ground? Or do you still hate each other?” 

“I think the door’s open,” Aidan says vaguely. There’s still a long road but he’s willing to take it, if there’s the slightest chance of his friendship to be restored― and maybe even deepened― he’d like to try. “I may have given up on him too soon. Everybody deserves another chance, I guess.”

“I’m glad.” The kiwi smiles genuinely and resumes cooking their dinner. “I heard he and Orlando are going to be living together.”

“Apparently,” Aidan says, walking behind Dean and wrapping him in a hug and whispering in the kiwi’s ear. “But let’s not talk about them…”

―――――――――――------

Dean wakes up to the sound of his alarm going off. It’s barely 8 am. The sun rays coming from the window blind him for a few seconds. Reaching a hand out to his side he realizes Aidan’s not there.

“Aid?” Just at that moment, Aidan walks out of the bathroom and into the―apart from the bed― otherwise empty room.

“Wake up, sunshine. It’s a beautiful day. How about we take a field trip so you can take more beautiful photos?”

“Yes!” Dean replies with enthusiasm. “Let me just…” He starts to get up from the bed, but Aidan prevents him from accomplish it by throwing himself over the kiwi, wrapping his arms around his middle. 

“Or maybe we could just stay here and do stuff.” Dean giggles and tries to wiggle away when Aidan starts kissing him on the neck and tickling him on the sides.

“No! Stop! Aid,” he whines, laughing, till Aidan stops and looks at him intently. 

“God, I’m so lucky,” the brunette huffs out making him blush.

“No, I am,” Dean pouts.

“I am,” Aidan counters back.

“Okay, you are,” Dean jokes and Aidan laughs, leaning over to kiss the blonds’ neck again, sniffing the kiwi’s scent. “God, I love your smell.”

They’re both startled when Dean’s phone rings on the floor beside them. The blond reaches out to take it and answer but stops midway when he sees it’s from Luke. Being terrible at disguising his true emotions, he unconsciously turns worried eyes at Aidan who notices right away.

“What is it?”

“Oh―um…it’s―uh― from…Luke,” he stutters, uncertain of Aidan’s reaction.

Aidan raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh? Aren’t you going to answer?”

“Uh―yeah.” He does and with a slightly trembling voice says _hello_.

“Dean?” Luke sounds normal so Dean relaxes a bit.

“Yes?”

“It’s Luke. I wanted to tell you I got the notification…” 

There’s a pause for Luke clearly expects Dean to say something. Aidan looks expectant.

“Oh, yeah. I lifted it―this morning―you can throw that thing away if you want to,” Dean says, meeting the brunette’s troubled, brown eyes.

“Good. I hope I didn’t kept you from anything…I was just making sure. Bye, Dean.”

“Yeah, bye… And Luke?” he asks, letting out a bit of his irritation at Luke’s bold call. He said he’d take care of the thing; there was no need for the other man to call him.

“Yes?”

“Don’t call me again,” Dean says firmly.

“Got it.”

Aidan looks a bit surprised to say the least, probably because it’s the first time Dean’s ever talked to Luke that way in front of him. “What did he want; if you don’t mind me asking?”

“He received the notification for the hearing and wanted to make sure I’d taken care of it.”

“Oh―” Aidan frowns. 

“Do you think I was too mean?” Dean asks, insecurity marring his tone. 

“No, not at all, babe,” Aidan reassures him and bends forwards to peck him on the cheek. “So about that field trip…”

“Oh, yes…but shouldn’t we go seeing furniture? You’re in dire need of it.”

“Damn it, you are right,” Aidan sighs. “We can go real quickly to the store, and after that, we can have our little trip…maybe have an improvised picnic at the park for lunchtime?”

“I’d love that.”

――――――――――――

“What about that one?” the blond points to a simple, dark wood rectangular table for 8. 

“Do _you_ like it?” Aidan asks Dean, who sighs in resignation.

“It’s your home, it’s _you_ who should like it. It doesn’t matter if I like it.”

“That’s where you are wrong. You are my boyfriend. It’s very important to me that you like my home and everything in it.”

“Aw…so sweet,” Dean coos and kisses Aidan’s cheek making him blush. “Okay, then yeah, I like that one.”

“Then that’s the one.” He starts looking around for a salesman to make the purchase when he hears a familiar voice from behind saying his name.

“Aidan?”

―――――――――――――――――――――

They both turn around to see who the owner of the voice is. Aidan beams immediately and hugs the stranger, who turns out to be a tall woman with dark hair and bright, brown eyes. Dean eyes her curiously. The woman’s gorgeous; she looks like she could be a model

“How’ve you been, Liz?” Aidan greets her happily. “It’s been so long.”

“I know!” the girl says in excitement, “Almost three years.”

_Liz, her name is Liz. Probably an old friend_ , Dean thinks and smiles sweetly when her eyes settle on him, questioningly.

“Oh―right, this is Dean,” Aidan introduces him and Dean offers his hand, which she takes in a lose handshake. 

“Nice to meet you,” Dean says politely and she smiles back at him.

“You too.”

There’s an awkward silence and Dean can feel Aidan’s getting uncomfortable beside him. Liz is the one who breaks it. 

“I have to run some errands now, but I’d like to see you later,” Liz says, “Do you have any plans for the afternoon? I’ve been meaning to get in touch for a while now so we could hang out, but I didn’t have your number.”

“No. I don’t have plans,” Aidan says surely, and Dean’s about to interrupt him and remind him that, yes, he does have plans for later; they both have actually―a certain field trip―which Aidan has completely forgotten about apparently. But he understands. If this is an old friend his boyfriend hasn’t seen in a while then it’s perfectly fine. If Aidan wants to change their plans for other time, Dean is completely okay with it―or he would be if this girl wasn’t so conspicuously flirting with his man.

“Give me your phone number and I’ll text you. We could have lunch…and drinks after, maybe?” She says and leans closer towards Aidan, letting her hand slide down the brunette’s arm. It bothers Dean, of course, but what bothers him the most, is how his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind at all. Quite the contrary, the brunette seems to be enjoying a bit too much the attention―and did Aidan mention they are boyfriends? 

“Alright, see you later,” she says and quite boldly, kisses Aidan in the cheek, then waves at Dean goodbye.

“Alright…where were we?” Aidan tries in vain to dissipate what just happened, “Oh―the table.”

Dean stands there, rooted to the spot, and when Aidan wanders towards where he thinks there’s a salesman, the brunette has to turn back on his heels when he notices the kiwi isn’t following.

“Babe?”

“Who is she?” Dean tries to sound less annoyed than he really is, failing miserably.

“Liz? Oh, well. She is…was…my uh―girlfriend,” Aidan mumbles, seemingly nervous and Dean has to strain to hear the whole sentence, and when he does, his stomach drops. 

“Y―your girlfriend?” The kiwi lets the surprise show in his tone. 

“Ex¬girlfriend,” Aidan corrects.

“You had a girlfriend? So you haven’t always been gay?”

“No. I’ve always been bi,” Aidan says matter-of-factly. 

“Oh…I…uh―you’re bi?” the blond stutters, “you never told me.”

“You never asked,” Aidan replies simply.

“Right,” Dean says solemnly. “And how long were you his boyfriend?”

“Four years,” the brunette says frowning. “Do you really want to discuss this here?”

Dean nods softly, repeating _four years_ to himself. Aidan crosses his arms across his chest, waiting for the blond to say something. “Does she know you are bi?” 

Aidan seems to consider it. “I don’t know―I don’t think so. Why is this relevant?”

“Maybe because you forgot to mention the small detail that I’m your boyfriend, and by the way she was flirting with you, it sure seemed like she’s got some hope of you and her having a remembrance.”

“She wasn’t flirting…” says Aidan weakly.

“Yeah, right, because that arm caress was totally friendly,” Dean says in slight anger. Aidan looks about to reply but smiles instead.

“Look who’s all jelly,” Aidan teases, making Dean huff in frustration. “You are so cute.”

“I’m not jealous; I just…don’t like people flirting so boldly with you while I’m standing right there. Especially not ex-girlfriends”

“Would you rather not be in the room while people flirt with me?” Aidan continues to tease the kiwi.

“Of course not!” Dean whines, clearly unamused. Aidan laughs loudly. The kiwi looks up at Aidan, narrowing his eyes. “I’m starting to think you deliberately kept the boyfriend thing from her.”

“C’mon, Dean, it slipped my mind. We’ve only been boyfriends for a day.”

“And a few hours…” Dean says. “It’s cool that you’re ditching our plans, too. It’s not like I was looking forward to spend time with my boyfriend on our rarely synchronized day off.” 

“Oh, crap!” Aidan curses. “Dean, I’m sorry―I’ll tell her I can’t meet her today.”

“No, no. Don’t ditch her. Go and have lunch with her. But make sure to tell her about me being your boyfriend this time,” the blond strongly suggests. 

Dean silently hopes for Aidan to decide to ditch Liz, or at least put up some resistance. He’s sorely disappointed.

Aidan smiles sadly. “Thanks babe. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“Great,” says the blond half―heartedly. “Well, are you going to buy the table or not?”


	26. Chapter twenty six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two months delay...that's a record for me. *sighs*  
> I'm really sorry. Hope you are still interested in this story...and i hope you enjoy this long ass chapter. Truth is, I finished it like two weeks ago, but it took me forever to edit it and I just know there'll still be some mistakes, so I apologize in advance.
> 
> Thanks for your patience and support!

That night, Aidan arrives smelling like alcohol…and perfume. Liz’s perfume— Dean notices— as he hugs his boyfriend tightly. He knows he shouldn’t worry, but uncertainty is stronger. The Irishman isn’t drunk, though. Not even tipsy, but the fact that he’s smelling like that woman tells the blond there was some sort of physical contact; a hug, maybe—hopefully.

The thought about Aidan being bi had been running through his head the whole afternoon, and being his unconfident self, all Dean could think of was that he would have to compete not only with other guys for his painfully attractive boyfriend’s attention, but with some girls as well. Tall, slender― could be models― kind of girls. But that was nothing compared to the torture of thinking about the fact that his gorgeous boyfriend was out on a date with his ex. And not just any ex. Someone Aidan shared four years of his life with. Someone Aidan loved.

The sound of knocking on his door brought the kiwi out of his musings. Quickly closing his laptop shut, he sprinted on sock clad feet to open it.

_At least he arrived_ , Dean thinks bitterly as Aidan graces him with a half-smile once they’re done hugging. 

“So what did you do? Did you have fun?” the blond asks casually, nervously playing with the hem of his sweater (now sitting on the couch) trying but failing to conceal the wariness in his voice. Aidan doesn’t seem to notice though.

“Yeah. We went for lunch… and then for a couple drinks at the pub. It was fun,” Aidan vaguely answers.

“That’s great,” Dean says half-heartedly, not meeting Aidan’s eyes. He swallows dryly before continuing. “Did you… by any chance… tell her about your bisexuality?” The blond hates to be pushy, but he needs to know. 

Aidan hesitates for a few seconds, which makes Dean’s heart flutter and hold his breath. 

“I did,” the Irishman answers with confidence after a few seconds and Dean breathes out. “Though, she seemed awfully unfazed by it.”

Dean frowns at Aidan and meets his eyes. “You wanted her to be fazed?”

“What? No, no. I thought she’d be surprised, that’s all.” Aidan shrugs, outwardly uncomfortable. 

_Why is he acting so weird?_ Dean wonders.

“Oh,” he sighs, trying hard not to worry, but there’s a nagging feeling that won’t go away. “And did you tell her about me?”

Aidan seems nervous of the question. “I did.”

Relief is evident on Dean’s face at his boyfriend’s answer and he meets Aidan’s eyes with a hopeful expression. “And?”

“…and…nothing,” the brunette shrugs in a slightly forced tone, diverting his gaze from Dean’s, clearly lying. 

The blonds’ heart starts beating faster and a heavy feeling settles in his chest. But he nods when it’s clear Aidan won’t share more.

“So…will you stay the night?” Dean sweetly asks, keeping the disappointment at his boyfriend hidden, and reluctantly walks closer to sneak his arms around Aidan’s waist, burying his face in his taller boyfriend’s chest―Liz perfume filling his senses.

“Uh...”

“Unless you don’t want to,” he quickly replies at Aidan’s hesitance, letting go of the brunette’s waist and taking a few steps back. The atmosphere is unbearably tense. 

“No. I mean, I do... it’s just…” Aidan rubs the back of his neck, struggling to find an explanation. “I’ve got to work really early tomorrow… and the place is closer to my apartment.”

―――――――――――――――

_That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever given in my entire life_ , Aidan thinks, surprised by his own stupidity. No one would ever buy that. Dean certainly doesn’t, especially not now that they live about a five minutes’ ride from each other.

The doubt and anguish are crystal clear in the kiwi’s blue eyes, as Aidan struggles to maintain eye contact with him. The blond knows he’s lying and it turns his heart to shreds.  
“Okay,” Dean says in a soft, defeated voice. 

The need to flee is consuming. He’s never been a coward, or ran from situations like this, but the possibility of hurting the kiwi is more than Aidan can handle.

“See you tomorrow? I’ll pick you up and maybe we can cook dinner again.” Aidan tries to sound as natural as possible. Blue eyes study him quizzically— searching. “Okay?” 

Dean nods weakly, eyes now on the floor.

“Okay. Bye, love.” Aidan reaches for a kiss on the lips, but the kiwi keeps his head down so the kiss ends up on the top of Dean’s head instead. “See you tomorrow.”

Once inside his apartment, he sighs in defeat. “What the hell are you doing, Aidan?” 

His friend date with Liz had started out perfectly normal; lunch had been great, the food was exquisite, but when they got to the pub and sat down— ordered drinks in front of them— she’d started to flirt— heavily so. 

Aidan told her at lunch about his bisexuality, and she seemed just a bit surprised, but nothing more than that. She informed the brunette of her break-up a few months back, and willingness to start something new—or rekindle something old—her words. That was the moment Aidan chose to mention his boyfriend, to which Liz had little reaction, but he could tell she was taken aback, and disappointed. She didn’t demonstrate it, though. At least until the moment of goodbye, when Liz moved closer and whispered _I missed you. I don't want to lose you again,_ and then caught his unsuspecting lips in a soft kiss.

The brunette knows he’ll have to tell Dean about the kiss for those are the kind of secrets that ruin relationships. But the how, Aidan doesn’t know. He’s just going to have to be honest. But not tonight, though. With at least four drinks in his system, who knows what he’ll end up saying. 

That night, sleep eludes him. All the things Liz told him running around Aidan’s mind, the last phrase sticking out like a neon sign. And that kiss. Isn’t it enough for her to know he has a boyfriend? She didn’t say anything as he told her about the kiwi and how happy he was with him; only nodding here and there, smiling tightly and ― if he’d gotten to know her at all during their four year relationship― rather cynically. And after that, she abruptly changed the subject to bring back old memories from their years together, as she seductively played with her hair, staring fixedly at Aidan.

The Irishman tried to ignore her flirting, but after two drinks, Liz set herself lose and sat even closer―her perfume stronger than ever―and started to compliment the brunette shamelessly; telling Aidan how much she’d missed him and how she couldn’t even remember why they broke up.

His phone vibrates with a text, interrupting his trail of thought, and it’s not from Dean.

_Safely tucked in bed…thinking about you._

And then two more:

_I had an amazing time._

_Are you still awake?_

Aidan ignores them. He hates to be rude, but he doesn’t want to give Liz false hopes and hurt Dean in the process.

He sends a good night text to the blond, hoping for an answer; sadly, it goes unanswered, so he falls asleep with a heavy heart.

―――――――――――

“Hey buddy! How’s life on the other side of the world?”

“Great,” he tries to sound at least a bit less distressed as he feels. “I’ve been meaning to thank you for my camera. Aidan told me how much you helped him. Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me.”

“Of course I have an idea. You never parted from it. And it was pretty irritating to have that thing pointed at me every chance you got. Batman feels me too, I bet. ”

“I didn’t have anyone more handsome than you around to pose for me…well, except for Batman,” he jokes, drawing a chuckle from his friend.

“Well, now you’ve got Aidan,” Jared adds. “I bet he’s already sick of you and your camera.”

Dean smiles weakly.

Immediately sensing the change in his kiwi friend’s demeanor, Jared asks, “Is something wrong?” 

The blond sighs, nodding slowly. “Aidan’s got an ex―girlfriend.”

“Oh?” Jared frowns, “And that’s bad because…” 

Dean continues, staring down at his hands. “We ran into her earlier today...”

At that, Jared frowns. “Oh? And?”

“She started flirting with Aidan right there in front of me,” he huffs. 

Jared seems horrified. “What? But…did she know about you two?” 

“She didn’t know right then, but it still bothered me. They went out together.”

Jared replies frowning. “They went out together? That’s…unusual.”

Dean nods. “For lunch and drinks.”

“Did something happen then?” Jared asks warily. 

“I don’t know. But Aidan was acting really weird when he came back,” he says in frustration.

His brunette friend lets out a long sigh. “You shouldn’t jump into conclusions, Dean.”

“Jared, I know he’s hiding something.”

“What do you mean?” Jared asks as he leans closer to the screen. 

“He wouldn’t even meet my eyes,” Dean sighs. “And he just left…with the stupidest excuse ever.” His tone turns sad. “It’s the first night we won’t sleep together since we had…” he stops himself, blushing furiously. “…since our first time.”

“Maybe it’s for the best. You don’t want to get bored of each other so soon, do you?” Jared jokes, trying to lighten up the mood.

Dean frowns. His friend isn’t making any sense. “I love Aidan. How can I get bored of being with him?”

Jared deflates. “I know, Dean, just…don’t jump into conclusions yet. Talk to Aidan tomorrow and tell him to be honest with you. And try not to let your imagination get all wild; it’ll only make you feel worse.”

Dean knows Jared’s right, but how can he just drown the anxious doubt every time he so much as thinks about Aidan being with Liz. What if they were together right now? Maybe that’s why Aidan didn’t want to stay. What if Liz had been waiting downstairs in the car while he naively asked Aidan to stay?

“What if he does…cheat on me?” the blond tentatively asks.

The question unsettles Jared a bit and Dean knows his friend is trying to keep his anger under control. “Then I’ll come all the way there to bring you back to New Zealand and kick his Irish ass in the process.”

Dean giggles, feeling slightly better. “Thank you.”

“But seriously, though. Don’t torture yourself, Dean. Try and get some sleep tonight and tomorrow everything will get cleared up. Trust me.” Jared gives the blond a comforting smile. “Aidan seems to really care about you.”

He smiles at that. Maybe Jared’s right. “Yeah, maybe. Sorry to burden you with my stupid problems,” he says dejectedly, wanting to trust Jared’s words. 

“What are friends for if not for that?” Jared smiles warmly. “Go get some sleep; you look like you need it.”

“Okay. Thanks Jared. Say hi to Fern for me, yeah?”

“Of course, and you’re welcome.”

It takes the kiwi at least an hour to force himself to go to bed when exhaustion becomes unbearable— him being delaying the act as long as possible, not wanting to even look at his empty, lonely bed. Besides, the couch isn’t any better and if he stays any longer he’ll end up falling asleep there and catch a cold, most likely. 

Sighing in defeat, the blond goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth then goes to his room and puts on his pajamas, when suddenly, his phone rings, but he uses all his willpower to ignore it. 

Once in bed, Dean’s fingers itch wanting to answer the text Aidan sent him a good hour ago as he tosses and turns on the bed. If the blonds’ going to have a lousy night because of Aidan, then his boyfriend should at least worry over him not answering his _good night_ text; something the kiwi would never do normally, but—as he childishly thinks— the situation requires it. 

The next morning, Dean not only feels beaten, but he looks it as well. Huge dark shadows under his bloodshot eyes make him grunt in annoyance at his appearance.

“Great. If Aidan hasn’t considered cheating on me with Liz, he’ll sure do so when he sees me like this,” he dejectedly says at his reflection in the mirror.

Another text makes his phone ring loudly, demanding attention. This time, he sees it, and it’s Aidan elaborately wishing him a good morning.

_Good morning,_ is his dry reply.

―――――――――――――――

Aidan sends Dean a text telling him to wait for him outside the café, and fifteen minutes later, he arrives to pick the kiwi up. Dean is already there, all wrapped in his scarf and jacket, looking adorable as always. He smiles at the sight and pulls over. The blond immediately opens the door and sits in the passenger seat, shivering and cursing under his breath. 

“Fuck! Why is it so cold? I miss Auckland weather so much right now.”

Aidan smiles sadly at Dean, who’s been avoiding his gaze so far. “I bet. Maybe we could―”

“Aidan,” Dean cuts him in abruptly. Blue eyes locked with his, brimming with anguish and doubt. Aidan feels his throat constricting. “What happened yesterday? Why did you just leave like that? Are you hiding something from me?”

The brunette sighs, gripping the steering wheel till his knuckles turn white. “Dean, babe―”

“Did something happen with Liz?”

“Yes,” he replies and Aidan wants to kick himself when Dean looks like he’s about to cry, so he continues immediately, stuttering a bit. “…and―and I didn’t tell you last night because―I just didn’t know how. And I didn’t want to say the wrong thing while under the influence of alcohol.”

“You weren’t even drunk!” Dean snaps.

“I know…but I never trust myself until I’m completely sober,” Aidan says defensively then looks at the blond who seems unconvinced at the least. He runs a hand through his hair and down to his neck, rubbing it. “I know I should have told you right away and I’m sorry. But trust me, it’s not what you are imagining.”

“How do you know what I’m imagining?” 

There’s a hint of anger in the kiwi’s voice that Aidan would have found cute in any other situation but this is serious. Dean is angry because he’s hurt and he hates to be the cause of that.

“Well―judging by your expression―you probably think I cheated on you with Liz, which is obviously not the case,” he assures with far more confidence that he thought he had, keeping his gaze steadily fixed with the blonds’ and even though the kiwi still seems to be upset, relief is evident in his face, only to be wiped off with what he says next. “…but it’ll still bother you.”

“What is it? If it’s not that…” Dean asks impatient; a deep frown marring his otherwise soft features.

“You were right about the flirting,” Aidan says tightly, suddenly embarrassed, but the kiwi doesn’t rub it in his face, thankfully.

“So… she kept flirting…” Dean asks, apparently relieved “…is that it?”

“Um…” He shakes his head gently and Dean takes a deep breath. “Right at the end of the night…she―uh―kissed me.”

Dean, who had been leaning forward and staring at Aidan, sits back against the seat and stares ahead; hands gripping his thighs, clearly upset. “And…you let her?”

“There wasn’t time for anything. It was really fast. I couldn’t even react.”

The blond lifts his eyebrows. “Was it before or after you told her about us?”

“After,” he answers. “She also said she missed me…and she didn’t want to lose me.”

“So she doesn’t give a shit about our relationship,” Dean states; spite evident in his voice.

He sighs again. “Apparently, no.”

“And did you like it?” 

“W―what?” Aidan stutters spectacularly.

“Did you like that she kissed you?” Dean asks again slowly.

“Of―of course not. Why do you even ask me this?” Aidan replies defensively.

“You were with her for a reason before…because you liked her...loved her. Maybe you still do.”

“Dean―”

“Aidan. All I ask is for you to be honest with me. If you like her―still like her― I need you to tell me. Don’t let me be the fool again. Just be honest and I’ll get out of your way. This is not like with Craig. I can’t pretend I don’t care and everything’s fine. Not with you. I can’t share you, Aidan.” Dean’s voice cracks at the end. “I love you too much.”

The Irishman listens intently, but quite shocked. The blonds’ words have a strong effect on him and he can’t help the wave of joy that washes over him; that this kind, brave and beautiful being feels so strongly about him. 

Aidan reaches Dean’s tear streaked face and dries them with his thumb, then grabs the blonds’ face gently and makes him meet his eyes. “Babe, nothing will ever happen between me and her, or anyone else for that matter. If I’m with you, is because I want to be with you, no one else. Trust me,” he says that with as much conviction as he can muster. “I don’t feel anything for her.” 

The kiwi studies him for a few moments and nods after a while, but Aidan can tell the blond doesn’t completely trust his words. He understands where Dean’s coming from, though, and he will prove to the blond he’s trustworthy. 

“Okay,” says Dean and he nods, kissing the kiwi’s nose before letting go of his face.

“Okay.”

They keep quiet until they reach Aidan’s apartment; the Irishman driving there by default.

“So… are you going to stay? Or do you want us to stay at yours?” Aidan knows he’s pushing his luck but he doesn’t want to give the blond the option of not sleeping together.

“Yours is fine,” the blond says, giving the brunette the slightest of smiles; and honest smile that lifts Aidan’s spirit.

“Awesome.” He leans towards Dean, hoping to be met half way. He’s not disappointed for the kiwi leans forward as well and their lips meet in a chaste kiss.

―――――――――――――

They make sweet and tender love that night, kissing each other passionately. Dean clings to Aidan desperately as the brunette ruts inside his willing body with slow, deep thrusts. 

“Harder,” Dean pants, gripping Aidan’s curls in his hands as the brunette sucks and bites the delicate skin of the blonds’ neck, complying to his boyfriends requests, putting a bit more force into his thrusts. They come almost in sync, Aidan collapsing on top of Dean as they both gasp for air.

After a few minutes, Aidan pulls out gently and stands from the bed. Discarding the used condom he picks up a towel from the bathroom to clean the excess of lube off the kiwi’s bottom— Dean smiling lazily at his boyfriend’s ministrations.

“You pamper me too much.”

“Nothing’s too much for my gorgeous, little kiwi,” Aidan coos, lying beside the smaller man and cuddling him against his chest. They both take little time to fall asleep, sated and happy to be together after beating the first―and hopefully last―obstacle in their relationship.

“Good night, love.”

The next day, Dean has to work with one of the new waiters, which leads to him working double as hard. Everything they do, the blond has to do first to show them how; and even apologize to some customers who got their order wrong. Ian just doesn’t take the job seriously, probably because it’s not his main income― just for partying and vacationing― he said.

By three pm, he’s tired and done and still a bit worried about the whole Liz thing. She can call Aidan and arrange a new date at any moment and Dean won’t be able to do a thing. Hopefully, Aidan will decline the offer, but even if he doesn’t, the blond will just have to trust his boyfriend.

It’s still two hours before Orlando has to replace him when a familiar face enters the café. 

Dean doesn’t notice right away; only when Luke is standing right beside him does his brain register the face. 

As if on instinct, the blonds’ heart rate rises and he is quick to step away from the other man a few paces, barely able to steady the tray filled with cups he’s holding between his trembling hands.

“Oh―um―hi, Luke,” Dean is able to say, not very successful at keeping the surprise (and probably a bit of fear) from his voice.

“Hello, Dean,” Luke greets tightly; both aware of the tension between them.

He clears his throat and points towards one of the tables, hoping Luke doesn’t sit right by the counter. “Um―there’s a table right there…if you want—”

“No, thank you. I actually came to see Orlando,” Luke says politely, more politely than Dean’s ever heard him, in fact. “Is he around?”

“Um―no, there’s still a couple of hours left until his shift.”

“Oh…”

Dean hesitates before asking, setting the tray down on the counter. “Can―can I help you with anything? I’ll see him before I leave. I can give him a message for you.”

Luke locks gazes with him, and the act sends a tiny shiver down his back. Last time Luke was here, it didn’t end so well.

“Yes you can, actually,” Luke smiles and holds out a key. “Maybe you could give this to him?”

“Sure,” Dean sighs relived. Luke didn’t come here to beat his ass. He takes the keys and smiles awkwardly. “Is that all?”

The tension in the air has lessened, but it’s still there.

“No...”

Dean swallows thickly, battling the need to retreat to the locker rooms so if anything happens, the customers don’t see it. But what is he even thinking about? 

_Have I been trained to expect attacks from people?_

Luke stares down at the floor and then back at Dean, seemingly embarrassed. 

_Is he nervous? I that even possible?_ Dean wonders, holding the key tightly in his fist. 

“How have you been?”

He frowns, and takes a few seconds to answer. “Uh―I’m…okay.”

Luke nods, and stares back at the floor. “Good. That’s good. Listen―I—I just wanted to tell you that…I’m happy about you and Aidan.”

Dean is extremely confused now, so he says nothing.

“You didn’t deserve they way I treated you. I’m glad you are with someone like Aidan now. He’s a great guy. 

Dean nods. “I know.”

“Of course you do. Well, I thought I had to say it…that I’m happy about you both. That you’ve …um…found each other,” Luke says, openly staring at him, smiling dorkily.

“To be fair you had a lot to do with it. If you hadn’t approach me that night at the pub I might have never met Aidan,” Dean says lightheartedly, smiling sheepishly, “so I guess I have to thank you for that.”

Luke bursts out a laugh. “Ha! I guess you’re welcome then. Funny how things turn out…but it’s for the best.” There’s a barely perceptible longing in Luke’s eyes, but it’s there. “I’m happy for you, Dean.” 

Dean smiles and can’t help the blush that adorns his cheeks. Luke’s being awfully nice, and he seems pretty honest about it. 

“Thank you, Luke. That’s really nice of you.”

The Welshman smiles and tips his head towards the door. “Well, I have to go. See you around?”

He nods. “Yeah, see you around.”

Dean watches as the other man leaves the café with a thoughtful expression on his face, as he approaches the customer from earlier with his check. 

_That was really strange._

Two hours later, Dean’s free to go. He’s given the key to Orlando and in ten minutes, he’s back home waiting for Aidan to arrive. 

Try as he might, the kiwi’s unable to stop thinking about Liz and her intentions, which makes him nervous and restless, so he ends up cleaning every corner of his apartment. But given the modest size of it, the task only takes him an hour to complete. 

Sighing, the blond lets himself fall heavily on the couch with his laptop over his thighs, staring at the screen—facebook page open. Dean never uses it. The only people he’s got in it that he actually talks to are Jared and Ben, and he prefers to Skype with them, so it’s pretty much dead. But he’s got Aidan as a friend as well―just as a friend, though. There aren’t even photos of them together, Dean notices sadly.

Looking through his photos, the blonds’ deeply disappointed to find very few of the two together. He’s supposed to be a photographer and he can’t even take pictures of his relationship? And Aidan just got him his camera back, he should be capturing every single moment, like Jared said. _What is wrong with me?_ he wonders. Has too much being going on? At last, the kiwi manages to find one were they both look good. Aidan’s hugging him from behind, holding a bottle of beer and showing his perfect teeth with the brightest of smiles. He himself looks a bit tipsy and he’s smiling, looking back at Aidan. Adam took it, that night at his place before everything turned to shit. But it’s still a great picture, so he uploads it and tags Aidan and Adam with it, then proceeds to change his relationship status, smiling proudly at the result.  
The kiwi’s glee is short lived though, when he sees a post under Liz’s name in Aidan’s wall.

_I had a great time. Hope we can repeat it soon. Kisses._

_Kisses? As she hasn’t kissed Aidan enough_ , Dean thinks bitterly. He’s quick to return to his own wall when there’s a knock on the door. 

“It’s open,” he calls and Aidan walks in. Tiredness is evident in the brunette’s features so he stands up and walks up to his boyfriend to hug him and kiss him sweetly. 

“How was your day?” Dean asks warily. From up close, the blond can tell that it’s not just tiredness that has his boyfriend so downcast.

“Um…”

_Yep, not a good sign_.

―――――――――――

Aidan worked all day, so he didn’t have a chance to read any message on his phone. When the brunette’s done for the day, he’s surprised―but not quite so―to see at least four texts from Liz, wanting to meet again.

With a set expression on his face, Aidan responds:

_Liz, I have a boyfriend, who I love. Nothing will happen between you and me._

An answer comes almost immediately.

_That’s why I need to see you. I want to apologize._

Aidan sighs, starting his car, deciding on showing his boyfriend the messages before answering again. 

“Hey, love,” the brunette greets when the blonds comes up to him and gives him a hug.

“How was your day?” Dean asks. 

He stares down at the floor. “Um…”

Dean sighs and sits down the couch, motioning for Aidan to do the same. “What happened?”

“It’s Liz. She wants to meet again.” Aidan gives his phone to Dean. “Here…see for yourself.” 

The blond frowns as he reads the texts. “She wants to apologize?”

“That’s what she says. But I won’t meet her if you don’t want me to. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“You haven’t.” Dean holds his gaze. “You haven’t done anything to hurt me.” The kiwi sighs out a chuckle, “I mean―I would’ve rather you go out with me yesterday instead of her…but…it’s okay. I trust you, Aidan.”

Aidan smiles softly. “You do?”

Dean nods. “It’s her I don’t trust. But even if I don’t…I shouldn’t worry…right?” 

“That’s right. I only want _you_ , O’Gorman.”

They kiss sweetly for a few seconds until the kiwi parts abruptly.

“Good. Now, about your relationship status…”

———————————

On Friday, Dean can hardly ignore the nervous feeling in his stomach. Last time he saw the guys, they saw naked photos of him being debauched by Luke, so it’s only natural he’s feeling this way. But there’s something more he can’t quite put his finger on.

Adam has called at least ten times, just to make sure they were actually going, and to remind then to pick him up on their way there. Dean smiles at the thought. It’s heartwarming how much he cares. Though the next time Adam calls, he can’t help but roll his eyes.

“I know. Yes, we’re still going. And yes, we’re on our way. Cool, bye.” Aidan hangs up and gives the blond a pain-filled look. “He’s driving me nuts.”

“He cares,” the blond says.

“Too much.”

The three of them get there early so only Stephen and Jed are there, and a few other people Dean has never seen. 

“Hey, Dean!” Stephen greets with much eagerness and wraps Dean in a tight, welcoming hug. “I feared you wouldn’t come.”

He smiles sadly. Of course they would mention it, but in a way it’s better. Nothing good ever comes from sweeping problems under the rug. 

“I know. For a moment I considered it, but I wanted to see you guys again so…”

“Aww…You love us already, I knew it,” Adam jokes hugging him briefly. 

“I really hope things are better now between you and Luke,” Jed says after taking a gulp of his beer.

“Um…yeah, they are.” Dean frowns. “Why?”

“He’s right out there. You didn’t know he was coming?” Stephen says as he puts a beer on the blonds’ hand. Dean pales a little, but only because he didn’t say a word of their conversation at the café to Aidan. 

“Luke’s here?” Aidan asks, only slightly surprised. Adam looks worriedly at Dean.

“Yeah, right outside,” Stephen says casually pointing his beer in the kitchen’s direction, as if they should’ve known. 

The kiwi looks towards the kitchen and through the windows of the French door leading to the patio. He can see James and Luke out there, chatting and laughing along someone else. Orlando?

Aidan moves closer and leans down to whisper in the blonds’ ear. “We can go home if you want to.”

Dean considers it for a moment, but shakes his head in denial. Better to get used to having Luke around in parties if he plans on a long term relationship with Aidan. Besides, after their last conversation, the blond can’t bring himself to actually feel any form of animosity towards Luke. He seemed so…mature. 

“I want to stay,” Dean says with confidence to which Aidan gives the blond a kiss and a supporting rub on his back.

“Okay. But if you’re uncomfortable in anyway, tell me right away,” Aidan says and the kiwi nods, deep in thought. If there’s a reason tonight for him to be uncomfortable, he fears it won’t be caused by Luke’s presence.

————————————

It doesn’t take much time for Luke and Orlando to become aware of Dean and Aidan’s presence after they’re pretty much forced by James to go outside. And even though the kiwi seems perfectly comfortable speaking – and probably gossiping— with Adam and Orlando; Aidan can feel the tension in the air. Last time he saw Luke, their conversation ended quite abruptly and he knows he’ll eventually have to approach his former friend to continue it. At least they greet each other politely, although Luke’s idea of a polite greeting is a lift of his eyebrows and a slight nod while making eye contact. Luke’s greet towards Dean’s bit more expressive; there’s even a smile involved on both parts and a short _hey_.

When Richard arrives, the brunette can’t deny the flicker of jealousy he feels when Dean’s smile shows a bit too much joy at seeing the taller man. Richards’ expression shows nothing but the same.

Almost an hour passes and Dean has been talking to Richard since the man arrived. Adam and Orlando are talking separately from them now, but still stand beside them. 

Aidan nods at something James says, not really listening; dark eyes studying each and every gesture his boyfriend and friend make.

His insecurities fly all over the place when Richard all but leans down to whisper something in Dean’s ear that causes the kiwi to burst out laughing. 

_Since when is Richard so funny?_ , he thinks bitterly while taking a huge gulp from his beer, watching the exchange with suspicion.

Adam —sweet little Adam, always the perceptive one, hyperaware of everything going on around him— catches Aidan’s stare. A knowing look graces his features and a lecturing frown is thrown his way. Making a weird gesture with his head, Adam summons Aidan back inside to the kitchen and Aidan follows reluctantly, stealing short glances behind his shoulder to spy on his boyfriend and his incredibly handsome, kind, successful, smart and now apparently funny, friend. 

“What are you thinking?” Adam says the minute they enter the kitchen. “Are you jealous of Richard?”

The brunette stares back at his friend with a dumb expression on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t fool me, Aid. Anyone looking at you could have guessed. It seemed like you were planning on punching Richard and only because he’s trying to be friendly with Dean; Poor, noble Richard. You should be ashamed.” Adam points an accusatory finger at the brunette.

Aidan huffs in frustration. “It’s just…when have you ever seen him being so friendly? This is uncharacteristic of him,” he whispers, waving his arm towards the backyard. “I’m sorry, but I think he likes Dean a little too much.”

“Aidan, you are insane. Richard is the nicest, most respectable human being on the planet. You know how he is with new comers; he wants everyone to feel welcome and accepted. That’s why he’s being so friendly. But even if it were in fact true that he likes your boyfriend, he would rather die than act on his feelings. You know that.”

Aidan says nothing because he knows his friend is right. 

Adam stares at him intently. “Do you not trust Dean?”

“It’s not that. Of course I trust him,” the brunette says with conviction. “But I could hardly blame him if he fell in love with Rich, could I? The man’s pretty much perfect.”

Adam sighs in understanding. “Aid, don’t let your insecurities get in the way. Dean seems pretty content with being with you. He loves _you_.”

“That’s easy to say. And Luke’s here as well…I’m just,” he says, running a hand through his curls, “scared of losing him.”

Adam puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Maybe you should mention it to Dean; that way he’ll tell you how stupid you are being and soothe your worries.”

Aidan nods. “I know.”

“Okay? Do you feel better?” At Aidan’s nod, Adam claps his hands, “Now let’s get back with the others.”

“You go ahead; I need to take a piss.”

He goes to the bathroom. At least twenty more people have arrived, some of which Aidan already knows so he says hi to them before ducking inside the secret little bathroom behind the stairs. The main bathroom’s already taken and a line of at least five people wait outside. This has become a huge ass party, Aidan thinks, as he relives his bladder. 

“Dean loves _you_ , dumbass,” Aidan says back to his reflection in the mirror while washing his hands, checking himself out and liking what he’s seeing. Sure Richard is almost unnaturally handsome, but he’s not bad to look at either. 

Taking a confidence gulp of air, he leaves the bathroom and heads back outside. 

“Aidan!” Someone shouts from somewhere around the living room and the brunette stops suddenly on his tracks, looking around for the source of the shout.

“Aidan, you are here! I thought you hadn’t come,” Liz says excitedly, hugging a stunned Aidan briefly. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Uh-um…hi…Liz…” Aidan stutters. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m great, thanks for asking,” Liz says sarcastically. “I saw Jimmy’s post on facebook about this party. I commented and he invited me,” she says mater-of-factly.

“That’s…great,” Aidan says, peaking nervously towards the kitchen in case Dean is watching and cursing Jimmy under his breath.

“Did you come alone?” Liz asks, smiling sweetly.

“No. Dean’s in the back. It’s where I’m headed, actually” says Aidan, looking towards the backyard, completely missing the disappointment in his former girlfriend’s face. “So…see you later?”

Liz ignores him and walks past him towards the back. “Who else is out there? I haven’t even seen Jimmy…or Adam. Are they in the back? I have to at least say hi.”  
Aidan walks behind her, trying to think of a fast way out of this one. If Dean sees Liz…well, it won’t be pretty. 

“I was about to get a drink. Do you want one?” 

“Can’t it wait a bit? We’re here already.” 

And just as Liz says, they’re outside already. A crowd of people, bigger than when he left for the bathroom scatters about, making it difficult for him to spot his boyfriend, but when he does, he deflates visibly. Dean is still speaking to Richard. They’re off to the farthest right corner of the backyard, practically in the shadows. The blond is sitting in a white plastic chair—which no doubt, Richard courteously offered to bring—as he listens intently to whatever Richard’s telling. 

Dean doesn’t even notice his presence or Liz’s for that matter, he doesn’t seem to have noticed Aidan leaving for the bathroom in the first place.

“Actually, it can’t wait,” Aidan says tightly, turning to face Liz. “Care to join me?”

At her very enthusiastic agreement, Aidan leads her back towards the living room where all the alcohol is kept on a table. 

“What do you want?” Aidan says with a tight voice, “are you drinking anything already?”

“I’ve had two tequila shots,” Liz says smiling seductively. “Want to join me on the third?”

————————————

Richard laughs loudly at Dean’s lame joke and it makes him smile in return. He really likes Richard. Somehow, the older man makes him feel secure in a slightly fatherly way and the thought brings a sad smile to his lips. It’s been a long time since someone has made him feel that way. Sighing, Dean pushes any thought about his father to the back of his mind or else he’ll end up crying right there in front of Richard.

His bladder is begging to hurt— since it’s holding two beers and half of the third one— so when Adam returns victoriously from his mission, holding two beers on each hand, he takes the opportunity to go on his own mission to relieve his heavily loaded bladder.

“Excuse me for a minute? I’ve got to…” Dean stops himself before he can say _go peeing_. “Um…I’ll be right back.” Richard nods with a smile and starts talking to Adam. 

Dean frowns, searching for dark curls on his way to the toilet. _Where the hell is Aidan?_

Last time the blond saw the brunette he was outside talking to James, but more than an hour had gone by and Dean hasn’t seen his boyfriend since. Richard’s story telling was very thrilling and he lost track of time…and his boyfriend. He’d been about going looking for him quite a few times but it seemed disrespectful to interrupt Richard, and the kiwi just kept getting distracted by the awesome anecdotes. 

The first thing Dean notices as he enters the house is that it’s filled with people. So many that he has to dodge them not to get trampled on; his small stature helping a lot to squeeze in between their bodies but it makes it harder to try and spot his boyfriend. 

After a while, he doesn’t find Aidan but he does find the bathroom, though its finding turns out to be futile for there’s a line of at least ten people waiting to get in. 

_When Aidan insinuated that James was friendly, I never thought this much_.

Dean waits for fifteen minutes and he’s about to give up and get back outside when a familiar laugh, followed by cheers reaches his ears. _That’s definitely Aidan’s laugh,_ he thinks happily and makes his way towards the noise. Sure he can ask Aidan to take him upstairs or wherever there’s another bathroom. 

“I’m Sorry,” the blond is quick to apologize when he knocks someone’s drink. Not much falls out of the cup, but it’s enough to piss off the owner a whole lot. 

“Watch where you’re going, you little bitch!” The man hisses. And because he’s terrible at confrontations and it would be plain stupid to argue with a guy twice his size who’s probably drunk as fuck, Dean just shrugs and keeps on his way. 

“Drink all of it!” A male voice shouts louder than necessary. Is it Jed’s voice?

“There! Though this is not a tequila glass, you little bastard!” Dean hears Aidan sluggishly say in return. And a very familiar female voice says seductively, “And here’s your reward.”

The last person standing between him and the source of the voices clears the path and the time seems to stand still— or move tortuously slow to let Dean catch every single little detail of the scene unfolding in front of him: 

Aidan eating what appears to be a slice of lemon…out of Liz’s mouth. 

Dean’s kiwi heart cracks and his vision becomes blurry as he sees Liz grabbing Aidan’s face just when the brunette moves away, and holding him in place to hungrily kiss him. Aidan does very little to stop her. 

“Okay, that was the last one, I swear,” the drunken brunette says as he stumbles back once Liz releases his face, smiling stupidly. 

Dean turns on his heels with a lost look on his face and attempts to run, so no one can see the tears that are about to run down his face, but the crowd closes in on him making it impossible to do so. Thankfully, the crowd hides Dean’s small form, so no one notices when he leaves the house. That’s what he thinks at least. 

Tears spill from the blonds’ eyes and start running down his face accompanied by a wretched sob the minute he closes the door behind him.


	27. Chapter twenty seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! New update...finally. Hope you guys enjoy! :D
> 
> Thanks for all the support. Love you all!

Drying the few tears that manage to escape his eyes despite his efforts and forcing the sobs down, Dean mutters under his breath. “Fuck you, Aidan,” and angrily storms away from the house.

He starts walking to where he assumes his apartment is located—the darkness and unfamiliarity with the area resulting an even bigger obstacle he had initially taken into account— only to stop abruptly a few paces ahead, letting out a soft, dry sob, unsure of how to proceed. If he leaves, Liz will have complete freedom to do as she pleases with Aidan. But on the other hand, he can’t stand the thought of facing his boyfriend right now. Besides, the kiwi is scared of what he might see if he goes back inside; the scene already imprinted in his mind being bad enough.

Biting back another sob, the blond turns back on his heels and takes a couple of steps back to the house, but stops himself again and lets out a frustrated grunt. “Fuck it.” 

He has to leave, but how? He doesn’t even know where he is. 

Dean pats his jeans pockets looking for his phone, but it’s not there, nor is his wallet (useless as it is since he’s probably not carrying enough money for a taxi anyway). To his utter despair, both items are safely stored in his jacket, inside the house. 

Letting out a shaky breath and covering his face with his hands, Dean takes a step backwards to slumps against the short brick fence of one of James’ neighbors. “I can’t catch a fucking break,” he sobs in defeat against his hands.

Footsteps to the left attracts the kiwi’s attention who quickly sits up, regaining some self control. They come from the party. 

_Please let it be Adam, or Rich…or Stephen,_ he silently begs, but observing the person, they’re not tall enough to be Richard, and too tall to be Adam or Stephen. _It’s not Aidan, is it? Unlikely. He’s still probably letting Liz eat his face off,_ he thinks bitterly.

“Hey,” says the person, now clearly recognizable. It’s Luke. 

_Great._

Dean sighs, avoiding Luke’s intense stare, not wanting the other man to see his red, teary eyes. “Hey.”

Luke lets out a soft chuckle and sits down beside Dean, stretching his long legs and crossing them at the ankles, making a point that he’s staying for while. They both stay quiet for a couple of minutes, Dean getting restless and more annoyed by the minute with the other man’s presence, rolling his eyes when Luke takes out a cigarette and lights it. 

“Cigarette?”

Dean steals a short glance at the offered box; one long cylinder sticking out from the brim. He thinks about declining, but he could really use one right now so he takes it in two cold, stiff fingers— just now realizing how cold he is. Luke flicks the lighter and cups his left hand around the flame, offering it to Dean who leans closer, softly sucking on the other end to light it.

Silence falls between them again, but at least he’s not as annoyed anymore. 

The urgency to pee, which had disappeared over the shock of seeing Aidan kissing Liz, returns suddenly and the blond grunts softly in discomfort. 

“So? What are you doing out here in the cold all alone?” Luke asks, smoke coming out of his mouth as he speaks. “Got bored of the party?” 

Dean sighs, taking a long drag of his cigarette, annoyance returning. Luke clearly saw him leave in a hurry, and more than likely, saw Aidan and Liz as well.

“Or maybe you saw something so disturbing that forced you to flee?” Luke suggests in a casual, teasing tone than makes Dean snap. He stands up abruptly and plants himself right in front of the brunette, glaring at him. 

“What do you want, Luke? Did you come here to mock me?” Luke stares back in silence; an unreadable expression in his dark eyes. It only annoys Dean further. “You’re loving this, aren’t you? Aidan still got feelings for his ex and he’s cheating on me with her right now… and you’ve come to rub it in my face, have you?” he says in a shaky voice, pointing his hand holding the cigarette towards James house. “Go ahead and say it. Tell me how pathetic I am for thinking he’d be different from you. Go ahead and make fun of me…though I’ve got news for you. I don’t fucking care what you think!”

The brunette stares at Dean in silence, mouth slightly curved upwards in a tiny smirk—which Dean obviously finds offensive. Grunting in frustration, the blond takes the last drag and flicks the half consumed cigarette towards the street and resumes walking quickly in the same way as before. 

“Dean, stop!” Luke calls and hurries to follow the blond and stands in front of him to force him to stop. Dean stops abruptly and takes on a threatening stance, glaring at the taller man. Luke is quick to pull his palms up in a —I mean no harm—gesture. “I meant what I said,” the brunette says in a soft voice.

The blond sighs in defeat, relaxing his posture. “About what?”

“At the café… I meant it. And trust me, I’m not enjoying this,” Luke says in a solemn tone. Dean only stares at him through narrowed eyes. Luke lets out a chuckle. “You don’t trust me; I get it. But given the circumstances, it would do you good to do so.”

“Oh, yeah? Why?” Dean asks in a challenging tone, crossing his arms over his chest.

“’Cause I’m pretty sure you’re not going to walk all the way to your apartment. It’s pretty far if you haven’t noticed. And I can’t let you do it anyways. It might be dangerous. Who knows what sort of creeps lurk out of their caves at these hours?”

“W—what are you implying?”

“I’m merely offering you a ride home. That if you want to go home, of course. If you wish to go back inside and face Aidan, then you have my moral support.”

Dean processes the words in his head. Luke is actually offering a way out of his current predicament. 

Staring back at the house with a mournful expression on his face he murmurs. “Yes, please.”

“Yes to what?” Luke asks sincerely.

“Please, take me home.”

“No problem,” Luke sates, “let’s go.”

“Wait!” Dean exclaims and at Luke’s questioning stare he explains. “Can you make sure no one comes? I really need to take a piss.”

Luke bursts out a laugh. “Sure.”

————————————————

Going to the bathroom proves to be a highly complicated feat with so much tequila in his system, Aidan realizes, as he stumbles for the third time while trying to pee. He laughs stupidly at his failed attempt at flushing the toilet with his foot while zipping up his fly.

“Fuck…I’m drunk,” the brunette slurs as he leaves the bathroom, swaying noticeably but managing to hold himself with an arm against the wall. He vaguely notices someone’s arm sneaking around his waist and helping him back to the living room where he ungracefully slumps down unto the unoccupied side of the big couch as soon as they walk past it. The world starts spinning immediately and the music does nothing to help clear his muffled brain.

“Dean—” Aidan mumbles as someone’s hands latch into his and start pulling him off the couch.

“Come on up, you’ll fall asleep if you stay there,” Liz says from above and he has to squint to locate her face in the dim light.

“Where’s Dean?” he asks again, this time louder.

“I have yet to see him,” Liz answers with a smile, still holding unto his hands. “Maybe he left?”

Aidan removes his hands from Liz’s grasp and uses them as leverage to push against the couch and pull himself upright. “I have to find him,” he says, stumbling over the arm of the couch and Liz’s arms are immediately around his waist to steady him but Aidan gently pushes her away. 

“Aidan!” Stephen greets enthusiastically, just when he stumbles into the kitchen, but frowns at his friend’s state. “Okay, you don’t look good, buddy.”

“I think I’m drunk.”

“You think?” Stephen sternly says.

“W—where’s Dean?” Aidan asks, completely ignoring his friend’s tone. “I have—I have to find him.”

“He’s not with you?” 

“He’s—um— outside,” Aidan’s slurred, unsure response makes the redhead frown. 

“No, I just came from there,” Stephen says in a worried tone, as he sees Aidan’s slumped, swaying posture and unfocused gaze. “Aidan, you don’t look good at all; you should lie down. Come here.”

He’s lead towards the living room and towards the small hallway, then into one of the doors at the end of it— James’ guest room. Closing the door behind them, Stephen turns to Aidan and helps him lie down on the queen sized bed then moves to the brunette’s shoes to pull them off.

“Hey—Steve…I’m thirty—thirsty,” Aidan sluggishly whines, grabbing Stephen’s arm just when he’s moving away almost making the redhead tumble on top of him. “I need water. I’m drying out.”

“Aidan! Quit being a drunken baby for once! I’ll get you your damn water, but stay here.”

With that said, Stephen threw a blanket on top of the pissed Irishman and left the room. 

All the room starts to spin and Aidan growls in discomfort. “Stephen! Dean!”

It takes a moment to register the fact that he still has to find Dean, but when he does remember, he almost leaps out of bed; long limbs getting tangled with the blanket. Just in that moment, he sees the door being opened and Stephen walks in with a glass of water in his hand. 

“Oy! I told you to stay put! Why do you have to be so stubborn?” Stephen nags comically so he lets out a snort and holds out an eager hand to take the offered drink. 

“You should go. Aidan needs to rest,” Adam’s polite, but slightly harsh voice reaches his hearing range from somewhere outside the room as he drinks his water. 

“C’mon Ads, I only want to see if he’s okay,” Liz’s voice comes from the door sounding rather annoyed at being kept outside the room.

“He’s okay…just really pissed. But we’ll take care of him,” Adam says matter-of-factly, “no need for you to worry. Besides, Dean—I’m sure you know Aidan’s boyfriend—should be here any minute.”

He can see, through his swimming eyesight how Adam is trying to keep Liz from entering and the scene makes him burst out a laugh. 

“Alright, you’ve already drank all of it,” Stephen takes the empty glass from his hands —which Aidan was still trying to get water out off—and gently pushes him back to lie on the bed, covering him again with the blanket.

Just a couple minutes later, Adam shows up on his line of vision; spinning ceiling as a background.

“Okay…I’m not even going to ask why is Liz here…but what on earth where you doing drinking with her? And most importantly, where is Dean?”

———————————

Luke pulls over outside his apartment. Dean stays put. 

“Thank you,” the blond quietly says. “You kinda saved me back there. I would’ve probably had to walk all night to get here.”

“You’re welcome.” Luke smiles genuinely. “Bye, Dean. And hey…” Dean turns back to Luke, holding the passenger’s door as he was about to open it. “I’m sorry this happened. Aidan’s not like this… I hope you know.”

The kiwi only smiles sadly and nods. Does he really know, though? 

“Bye, and thanks again.”

“It was nothing.”

Dean stands there and watches Luke’s vehicle drive away. Sighing, he wraps his jacket tighter around his shivering form, silently thanking Luke again for fetching it for him. 

As soon as he closes the door of his apartment behind him, the anguish comes back with full force and he throws himself face first on the couch, forcing down the dry sobs that start to come out. “Aidan…” 

His phone starts ringing suddenly and he startles. “Oh—fuck!”

It’s Aidan so he turns his phone off immediately. 

——————————————

“He hung up,” Adam says worriedly, staring down at Aidan’s phone. “What if something happened to him on his way home? Maybe he got robbed…”

“Stop that,” Stephen sternly chastises Adam and takes the phone from his hands, pressing the green button once again. It immediately sends him to voice mail.

“Told you,” Adam chirps when Stephen shoots him a frown.

“But you looked everywhere?” The redhead asks for the fifth time. 

“Yes, I did! Richard’s doing it right now again if you don’t trust my searching skills.”

“That’s weird,” Stephen says, deep in thought. 

Richard enters suddenly; loud music filling the room for a second before he closes the door quickly behind him. 

“Any luck?” Adam asks in a whisper and at Richards’ slight shake of the head, he sighs. “But…how could he just leave? You don’t think he saw Aidan and Liz together, do you?”

“What do you mean?” Richard asks, narrowing his eyes.

“I mean…she’s here and they were drinking together—getting shit faced in Aidan’s case—so maybe Dean saw them…”

“Did something happen between them?” Richard warily asks.

“I don’t know more than you do. I'm just making assumptions,” Adam replies.

“Then let’s not get—“

“Hey,” Luke walks in suddenly, interrupting Richard, and stares at his friends. “Discussing important matters?” 

“Luke!” Adam exaggeratedly grabs Luke’s jacket. “Have you seen Dean? We can’t find him anywhere.”

“Yeah,” Luke says nonchalantly. “I took him home.”

Adam’s expression changes from worried; to relived and then to suspicious. “Why did he leave? Aidan’s here—in the toilet throwing his guts out—but here.”

“I know.” Luke says and walks past him towards the bathroom.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” Stephen warns.

Luke just shrugs and steps inside the bathroom to see Aidan kneeling down and gripping the toilet with his hands; face pale and sweaty, hair pulled back in a tight bun and a blanket over his shoulders. The younger man leans back against the bathtub, glancing up at Luke through drowsy eyes. 

“I kissed Liz.” Luke seems unfazed so Aidan continues. “I—at least I think I did…”

“She kissed _you_... but you didn’t stop her. I saw it…and Dean.”

Aidan hides his face in his hands and grunts. “Fuck!"

“Calm down,” Luke says and gently pushes Aidan back against the bathtub when the Irishman threatens to stand up.

“No…I fucked up. I need to find him…” 

“He’s not here.” Luke informs and grabs a towel to soak under the water tap.

“What—”

“I gave him a ride home,” says Luke, offering the wet towel to Aidan who takes it and uses it to wipe his face. 

“Oh shit— I fucked up so bad…” Aidan suddenly says and hangs his head in shame.

“Alright, that’s it. Get up.” Luke instructs in a firm, but gentle tone. Aidan complies with great difficulty, latching onto Luke’s helping arms for support. 

Luke starts leading a confused Aidan out of the bathroom. “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking him home,” Luke informs the rest of the guys. Adam and Stephen nod and start helping Aidan back on his shoes when it’s clear he can’t manage on himself.

“Can’t go home,” Aidan tries, “Dean…I need to explain…”

“Not tonight, Aid. You’re too drunk.” Richard’s tone is determinant so Aidan keeps quiet. He looks down and frowns.

“Why are you taking my shoes off?”

Twenty minutes later, they’re climbing the stairs to Aidan’s place. 

“Tha—nks,” Aidan says, hiccupping in between as he fails for the fifth time to open the door and Luke takes the keys from his hands to do the job. “Luke…mate… You’re such a great friend…did I tell you that?”

“Only when drunk,” Luke jokes and snorts as Aidan stumbles over the door mat while making his way to the bedroom. “You are such a lightweight sometimes, Turner. Did you drink the entire bottle?”

“I—I did? I don’t know…” the Irishman says as he plops down on the bed. “I feel sick.”

“No shit,” Luke says and helps the younger man out of his jacket, who makes absolutely no move to do so himself. 

“Ugh—I’m gonna be sick.” Aidan stands from the bed quickly in a very unflattering way and stumbles his way to the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time.

Luke sighs as he follows Aidan to the bathroom. “This is going to be a long night.” 

——————————————

Waking up alone, cold and hung-over does nothing to relieve the pain in ones heart apparently, Dean finds out. He’d fallen asleep on the couch after drinking half a bottle of vodka, which was obviously the stupidest idea ever, but at the time, it seemed like the right way to go since he couldn’t fall asleep even if his life depended on it and Liz and Aidan’s kiss kept replaying over and over again in his mind, so he had to do something to shut his brains out, alcohol being by far the best option at the moment. At least that’s what Dean thought last night. Now, the blond just wants to curl up and die. 

Getting up groggily from the couch, he grabs his phone and heads for the bedroom where he quickly replaces his cold clothes with his warm pjs and buries his body under the blankets, then turns his phone on to look at the time. It’s eleven thirty and there are like twenty missed calls from Aidan.

Grunting, the blond angrily throws the phone to the foot of the bed and buries his face in the pillows, reading himself to spend the day in bed. But then he realizes— If Aidan had been worried enough to call him a bunch of times last night; not knowing where his boyfriend ended up, the least the brunette could have done was coming to find him. But it’s almost noon and there’s no sign of Aidan ever being there, and the last call was at about 3 am. 

He sighs in defeat. _Maybe Aidan felt too guilty to stop by because he spent the night with Liz._

His phone starts vibrating. It’s Adam, so he pales and feels his stomach drop. 

What if something happened to Aidan? 

Dean almost drops the phone for how quick he answers it.

“Hello?”

“Dean? Hi, it’s Adam. How are you?”

“Hi, yeah, I’m fine. You? Is Aidan with you?” He asks impatient.

“No he’s not here. Luke took him home last night.” 

At that, Dean sighs in relief. His boyfriend is fine…and didn’t spend the night with Liz. 

“Um—I’m sorry if I’m being nosy but…are you okay? I know you left without telling anyone…I hope nothing bad happened.”

“Oh,” Dean sighs. He doesn’t want to tell Aidan’s best friend about last night. It wouldn’t be right. “Nothing happened. I just…didn’t feel so well and couldn’t find Aidan.”

“And Luke?” Adam asks suddenly. “He didn’t—”

“Not at all,” Dean immediately says. “He offered me a ride home and I accepted. That’s it.”

“Okay, good,” Adam sighs in relief. “I’m really sorry for intruding, I just—we got worried last night when you just disappeared, and Aidan was in very bad shape. Luke told us he took you home, so we breathed out a little easier…but you know—I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I understand. Thank you for worrying about me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone, didn’t mean to scare you.” He says smiling at the thought of Aidan’s friends caring about him so much.

“The important thing is you are fine.” Adam states sweetly. “I bet Aidan isn’t feeling too good.”

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Dean replies, sounding a bit more bitter than intended. “I mean—I don’t know. Did he drink too much?” he subtly asks. Maybe Adam knows what happened with Liz after he left.

“I guess he did. I didn’t see him, but he did say something about too much tequila.” Adam sounds thoughtful. “I really don’t know what happened to him.”

“Got me. Maybe he was catching up with some old friends…”

Adam stays quiet for a few seconds. “You know about Liz.” 

It isn’t a question, but Dean answers anyway. “Yeah.”

—————————————

His head feels like it’s about to burst, and he’s thirsty, very thirsty. Those are the only two things Aidan is aware off as he wakes up. He remembers dreaming of drinking a huge glass of water, so he reaches to his night stand with a clumsy arm in search of that glass only to grab at thin air. 

“Good morning.” 

“Huh?”

“How’s the headache? I haven’t seen you that drunk since you turned twenty one.”

“Uh—L—Luke?” Aidan says in a raspy voice and makes an effort to open his eyes and locate the source of the voice. Luke is standing there, between his bed and the window, with a smug look on his face.

“Here,” Luke moves to his side and hands him a glass of water and a pain killer, “You’ll need this.”

Aidan takes it with trembling hands. How much did he drink last night?

“Thanks,” he says after gulping down the whole glass along with the pill. “Wha—what happened last night? Where’s Dean?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Some of it—not much,” Aidan confesses, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. 

“Try.”

Aidan goes silent as he recalls the incidents of last night. What comes back makes him cringe. “Liz.”

“There you go,” Luke nods. 

“Fuck. Dean saw me, didn’t he?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“I’m such an IDIOT!” Aidan exclaims, grabbing tightly at his messy curls.

“Yeah, you are. But it’s not that grave a mistake. You can fix it. Although, it does depend on whether Dean wants to forgive you.”

“I—I need to talk to him—to explain,” Aidan says as he starts getting up front the bed. The room spins a little, but it settles after few minutes of standing still. 

“You need to shower before you do anything.”

“Fuck that. I need to go right now,” Aidan replies and takes his phone from the nightstand. “Look at the time!”

“You won’t be doing yourself any favors by going smelling like that,” Luke say, crossing his arms over his chest, “you look like you’ve just had a drunken one night stand.” 

“Ugh— you’re right.” Aidan says in disgust as he takes a look at himself in the mirror. 

“Hurry. I’ll make you some coffee.”

“Okay. Um—Luke?” Luke stops right by the door and turns around.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t get all emotional on me,” Luke jokes, “just go and take that shower.”

In less than ten minutes he’s clean and dressed. At the kitchen, Luke offers him a cup with strong, bitter coffee. Aidan thanks him, mentally preparing for the awful taste it sure has. He’s gladly surprised.

“It’s really good,” Aidan says enthusiastically.

“I know. Orlando has been teaching me a thing or two,” Luke says with a tiny smile.

"Oh, Orlando...what happened to him last night?"

"I told him to take my car home...that friend needed me."

At that, Aidan looks down at the dark liquid with a serious expression on his face. “Thank you, Luke… for staying the night…and I guess for preventing me from chocking on my own vomit.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I know we have…”

“We’re good, Aidan,” Luke says meaningfully.

Aidan smiles and nods, “We’re good.”

After dropping Luke off home—and after thanking him for the tenth time— Aidan heads to his destination with great anxiety, gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

Once there, he climbs the stairs slowly, warily. What to expect from Dean remains to be seen and any second he can prolong the wait is worth the try, for no one assures the brunette that Dean will just forgive him.

—————————————

There’s a knock on the door and Dean feels his stomach cramping up. He knows its Aidan. 

He’s been sad, hurt, disappointed, but all he can feel when he sees Aidan’s face is anger

The brunette sports a guilty expression on his tired features—courtesy of the many drinks he had with his ex last night, most likely—so it’s nearly impossible for Dean to feel any sort of sympathy. 

With a barely perceptible nod of the head, the kiwi invites the Irishman in, moving away from the door with lethargy. He will listen to what Aidan has to say, but he’s in no mood for dumb excuses, and there can only be dumb excuses to do something like what Aidan did.

Aidan takes his time to sit in front of an impatient Dean, who struggles with all his might to keep under control. The brunette has trouble meeting Dean’s eyes and keeps fidgeting with his fingers. 

“Dean, I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am…I was drunk and—” 

“Tell me exactly what happened,” Deans says dryly, cutting off Aidan’s inspiration, “And why the hell was that—that _bitch_ even there? Did _you_ invite her?” 

The flood gate has been opened.

“No, I didn’t,” Aidan said, slightly taken aback. “She said James invited her. I had no idea she was there, I swear. I ran into her when I went to the bathroom and — I panicked. I didn’t want you to see her because I knew it would hurt you…so I told her to come with me for a drink. I’m sorry, I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Oh? So _you_ bribed her,” Dean chuckles sarcastically; face impassive but his watery eyes betray him. “I was here all morning thinking it was that poor girl who seduced you; that you’d naively fallen into her deceitful snare. But here you tell me it was the other way around.” the blonds’ hurt translating into despise in his voice. 

———————————

Aidan stands there, frozen. He has never seen the kiwi this angry. 

“No—I mean— we started drinking…tequila shots, lots of tequila shots. And then she suggested we should make things more interesting and turn it into a drinking game…or something like that…so she put the lemon in her mouth and salt in her neck…And I was too far gone already to think straight. I’d love to tell you I didn’t kiss her, but…”

“I saw her kissing you,” Dean says dejectedly, “and you doing nothing to stop her.”

Aidan stands up to kneel in front of the blond. “Yes, and I know it was incredibly stupid of me, and I’m very sorry.” The blond doesn’t seem appeased in the slightest. If anything he looks angrier.

With an angry hand movement the kiwi dries a stray tear from his cheek. “How can you be so _weak_? You can’t say no when sluts throw themselves at you!?” 

“Dean—trust me, I don’t feel anything for her,” Aidan tries to soothe the distressed blond by placing his hand on each of the kiwi’s knees to no avail.

“Don’t touch me,” Dean growls and shies away, abruptly standing up from the couch. 

“Dean, wait!” 

Aidan stands up and tries to follow the fleeing blond to his room but the door is slammed shut before he can get in. 

“Please, baby, let’s talk about this,” the brunette says with a broken voice against the door. “Don’t shut me out…please, Dean.”

There’s no answer and the fear he’d previously felt intensified. Dean might not forgive him. The thought forms a knot in his throat and he calls again through the door at the love he so stupidly hurt. “Please forgive me. I can’t—I can’t lose you…please open the door.” 

“Go away.” 

Tears that start running down Aidan face; not for himself, but for how hollow and anguish-ridden Dean’s voice sounds. And he was the cause. He doesn’t deserve Dean to forgive him.


	28. Chapter twenty eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 28! Long wait again...sorry (again) Hope it's worth the wait and you enjoy it. 
> 
> Try ignoring the mistakes. They're all mine.

It’s almost eight thirty in the morning when Dean steps out of his bedroom. And because it’s a grey day —clouds dark and threatening—and the tiny windows in the living room do very little to offer lighting, and he’s still half asleep, he doesn’t see Aidan curled up on the couch right away. It takes him making a cup of coffee and to almost sit on him, actually. 

“Aidan?” the blond startles, taking in on Aidan’s state: The man shivers visibly, arms hugging his frame tightly in a desperate attempt to keep what little body warmth he still has; his eyes look puffy and Dean tries in vain to ignore the fact that Aidan must have cried himself to sleep—He can’t ignore, either, the flicker of satisfaction that surges.

The kiwi had figured Aidan would have left after he ignored him for almost two hours of begging for forgiveness outside his door. Dean wanted Aidan to beg, to suffer, but the Irishman looks so pathetic now…it almost makes him feel bad. 

Mentally slapping himself, the kiwi puts on an impassive façade and firmly shakes the brunette’s shoulder. “Aidan, wake up.”

Grunting, the brunette hunches in on himself even tighter and continues to sleep soundly, shivering occasionally. 

“Awesome,” Dean sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his index and thumb.   
Going back to his room, the blond collects a thick blanket to cover Aidan with. Though mad and disappointed, he wouldn’t let his boyfriend freeze, and he definitely doesn’t want him to get sick either. The brunette’s proven to be a stubborn man-baby the last time.

Half an hour and some later, there’s finally stirring coming from the bundle on the couch. 

“About time,” Dean mutters. He’d been glaring at Aidan the whole time and being deliberately loud while making himself some tea.

“mmh…De—Dean?” Aidan grunts groggily. “What—?”

The brunette sounds miserable and Dean feels a nudge of compassion stirring inside. There’s hot water ready anyway, so he makes Aidan tea—with honey even—but he throws in the spoonfuls sloppily and grunting, watching with evasive glances as the Irishman sits up with slow movements and carefully peals the blanket off his body. The minute Aidan’s eyes settle on him, he’s showered with apologies once again. 

“Shit, I fell asleep. I’m sorry, I thought—I thought you’d come out eventually…”

“No, I actually wanted you to leave me alone,” he replies dryly.

Aidan stands up, curls sticking out in every direction and blood shot, puffy eyes set on Dean’s pitifully. “I’m so sorry, Dean.” 

“You’ve said that, but it doesn’t change a thing,” Dean replies sternly, but pushes the mug to the edge of the counter closest to Aidan, motioning for the brunette to take it. 

The image of Aidan drunk and kissing Liz appears every time he looks at the brunette, so it’s inevitable for Dean to feel anger, sadness, frustration and disappointment coming back all at once.

The kiwi’s emotions swinging up and down, unexpectedly—one minute, Dean wants to comfort Aidan and forgive him right away; the other, he just wants to yell at the younger man, tell him to _fuck off_ and leave at once. But given the fact that they’ll have to discuss this matter eventually, he doesn’t. He’d much rather be done with it sooner than later.

————————

Aidan doesn’t know what to do. How to voice how sorry he is, how to show the kiwi that he would give anything to turn back time and change things. Dean’s already damaged trust was so innocently laid in his hands by the kiwi, and he pissed all over it. 

“Thank you,” Aidan says meaningfully and takes the mug with both hands, delicately, as if it’s something precious. 

A quiet, strained minute follows, one that Aidan feels every second of lying heavily on his shoulders. What else can he say other that sorry? But that’s not even good enough. It’s not until Dean speaks that he dares to meet those blue eyes again.

“I forgive you…”

His brain takes its time to process the words, probably because he isn’t expecting them at all, but Aidan knows it’s because he doesn’t feel deserving of them. They don’t make any sense.

He looks in dismay at Dean and almost wants to grab the blonds’ shoulders and shake him— tell Dean to not even dare forgiving him so easily, but the blond speaks again before he can even attempt it. 

“…but I don’t trust you anymore.”

And that’s what he’d been expecting more or less, though not matter how prepared, Aidan feels the words hit him like a punch to the stomach. 

“I—I understand. You have every right not to—”

“I’m not finished,” Dean interrupts and continues at Aidan’s nod. “I can understand that you still have feelings for her. She was your girlfriend for four years after all and you loved her. Seeing her again after so long probably rekindled whatever you felt for her—”

Aidan has to bite his lower lip not to interfere. Dean is so wrong.

The blond sighs sadly, “which is why I’ve decided to step aside and—”

Horrified at what Dean’s about to say, Aidan barges in. 

“I don’t feel anything for her, Dean!”

Dean is taken aback at the sudden outburst, so Aidan continues. “I stopped loving her a year before our relationship ended. We both stopped loving the other. That’s why we broke up. What happened last night meant nothing to me, I swear. Nothing will change what I feel about you. I love _you_ , Dean.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to doubt that,” Dean bites back. 

Aidan huffs. “Gosh, Dean, it was a drunken mistake. I’m sure you’ve been there— ”

It comes out before he can stop himself. 

Dean breathes out a fake laugh, nodding his head. “So that’s what you think of me.” 

_Congratulations, Aidan. You’ve managed to screw up even harder,_ Aidan berates himself. “No—No Dean, I meant—”

“But you’re right, you know?” Dean stands up and starts pacing in the kitchen, tone picking up volume. “I’m even worse. After all, I did make out with you while I was sleeping with Luke. Oh, and let’s not forget that time here when I almost did you both if you hadn’t run off.” 

Aidan sighs, “Please, Dean—”

“No, you’re right. What right do I have to judge you?” Dean fixes eyes with him, distress clear in them. “I turn into a slut with a bit of alcohol in my system. I shouldn’t even dare to be mad at you for kissing your ex— I mean— you were drunk too and it was _only_ a drinking game, wasn’t it? But I wasn’t playing games, no. I really did want you and Luke both to fuck me right there on the couch!”

“Dean, stop! I didn’t mean it that way…” he tries but the blond is out of himself and Aidan doesn’t know how to calm him down. 

Dean ignores him and huffs, pointing a finger at the brunette. “ _Fuck you_ , Aidan!” 

“Dean, wait,” the astonished brunette calls when a hyperventilated Dean storms past him on his way to the bedroom, and standing up for more leverage, Aidan grabs the fleeing blonds’ arm to stop him. He’s not expecting though, for Dean to violently snatch the arm back and— surprising them both—punch him square in the jaw.   
Aidan staggers backwards, catching himself on the counter behind at the last minute, holding his jaw with the other hand. 

Silence follows until Aidan breaks it with a pained moan. 

Dean is frozen on the spot, guilty expression on his face. “FUCK! Aidan, I’m sorry,” he says when he’s recovered from the shock and hurries to the freezer. “I’m so sorry.”

“Nah—don’t be. I deserved it,” Aidan replies heavily. “ _I’m_ sorry. It was a stupid thing to say…but I really didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t think that way about you, Dean, you know that.”

“Here,” Dean sighs and walks over to him holding out a handful of ice cubes wrapped in a kitchen cloth. Aidan takes it with a small _thanks_ , and presses the ice against his jaw.

“Is it bleeding?” Dean asks in a tiny voice and a guilt-ridden grimace.

“No, it’s fine,” he lies for there’s the slightest taste of blood oozing from a small cut on the inside of his lower lip, but nothing worth worrying Dean about. 

“How is it fine? I just punched you.” Dean presses his back against the wall in front of Aidan, biting his lip and avoiding looking at him. The kiwi covers his face with both hands and slides down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor; legs drawn close to his chest. “There’s no excuse…”

“Dean.” Aidan moves tentatively to squat in front of Dean and gently pries the hands off the blonds’ face, pleased to see dry cheeks. “It’s fine. It was more shocking than painful. It won't even bruise,” he assures. For it indeed hadn't been a very strong punch. He'd had worse and this one would definitely not bruise...if he kept the ice in place.

"I'm sorry," Dean sighs in defeat. “I’m just done being a victim. I’m done.”

“You are not a victim,” Aidan strongly says.

“I was thinking—” Dean rearranges his pose, not listening to him, “maybe it would be best if we ended it here.”

His stomach drops. “No.”

The blond frowns and meets Aidan’s eyes. “No?”

“I mean—just—don’t do this, please.” Aidan kneels down in front of Dean, pleading. “Don’t throw this away over a stupid mistake.”

“Your mistake,” Dean replies absentmindedly.

“I promise I won’t ever see Liz again. I will never do something like this again. Hell, I’ll never drink again.”

“It’s not that,” says Dean as he wraps his arms around himself, supporting his chin on them. 

“Then what is it?”

Dean takes a deep breath before speaking. “Us? It happened really fast...maybe we made a mistake. Maybe we should have waited a little bit until we got to know each other better before we let anything happen.”

“Please, don’t say that,” Aidan says heartbroken. “Yeah, it happened fast, but Dean… I love you.”

“But you don’t, do you?!” Dean snaps.

Aidan frowns. “Of course I do. Why would you say that?”

“What do you even love about me?”

“I—” he tries but apparently, a second is too long for Dean to wait for an answer. 

“See? I’m starting to think we tricked ourselves into it. I needed someone badly after Craig and Luke, and you where there. And you were sweet and awesome—my very own knight in shining armor—and I was too scared of being alone. But I don’t think I am anymore.”

Aidan hangs his head in defeat; Dean’s words hurt too much. 

“Okay, so you don’t love me. What about me, then? I love you.”

“No, you don’t.” Dean meets his eyes. “Think about it. Since we met, I’ve been a complete mess. I’m insecure, I don’t know what I want; I slept with your best friend and then moved on to you the next day…”

Aidan stops the kiwi right in the middle of his self-depreciating speech. “You can’t think that way about yourself.”

Dean sighs in frustration. “But I do, because it’s the truth. I know myself. And whatever image you have of me is wrong, Aidan. You seem to see me as some flawless being that can do no wrong, but that’s not who I am. So you don’t love _me_ ; you love some elaborated idea you have in your head.”

“I thought you were done putting yourself down,” Aidan says dejectedly.

“This is not about that. It’s about who I am. Someone you refuse to see.”

“So you are insecure…so what?” the brunette says. “You have your reasons for it. But even so, you are here. You’ve pulled through. I don’t know what I would do if my parents turned their backs on me like that. I’m terrified of telling them I’m gay because of it.”

“Bi,” Dean corrects in a small voice.

“It’s the same to them.” Aidan sighs, “Things haven’t been easy for you, but after all you’ve been through, you don’t give up. You love your friends; you love your dog— you treasure all the things you have and they give you strength to go on.” 

He pauses to study Dean’s expression but it’s hard to see when the blonds’ gaze is fixed on the floor. 

“Pursuing your dream to be a photographer, for example,” he continues, “you think that’s a small feat? You have no idea how many people out there let go of their dreams because they’re unconventional, or unpractical, or too risky…or their family won’t support them,” he pauses again. After a deep breath Aidan continues, “But not you. You want to become a professional photographer no matter what, and I admire you for that.”

Dean briefly meets Aidan’s eyes then lowers his gaze, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You are stronger than you think, Dean. Maybe it’s you who’s refusing to see the real you.”

The blond sighs, deep in thought.

“And if that’s not enough reason for me to love you, you are sweet and caring, and selfless— sometimes too much —Hell, you are a damn good person. And you’re brave, Dean. You came to a foreign country alone after a terrible break up, away from the support of your friends even if you were scared. That’s no small feat either.” 

“I didn’t do that alone. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Jared and Ben,” Dean chips in.

“It was still your choice. You could have said no. And if you had, you would still be trapped in that toxic relationship,” says Aidan, offering Dean a smile. “You’ve changed a lot. You’ve gained more confidence since I met you if you hadn’t noticed.”

Dean returns Aidan’s smile. “Maybe a bit.”

“Quite a bit.” The brunette moves to sit beside Dean. “And you are honest, and funny—”

“m’not funny.”

“Well, not deliberately but…” 

Dean snorts and elbows Aidan playfully in the chest.

He sighs. “And yeah, I know I may have smothered you a bit and showered you with compliments, but you were so hard on yourself before, blaming yourself over the smallest things—I just wanted to make you feel good about yourself; to feel supported. I wanted you to see what I saw. What I see.”

“Okay. I believe you,” Dean says bashfully.

Aidan smiles briefly then turns sad suddenly and stares at his hands in his lap. “And it doesn’t matter if you don’t feel the same way. I still love you.”

Dean looks down at Aidan’s right hand and places his own on top of it, squeezes slightly, then moves it away. “I love you, Aidan. But you hurt me. And I don’t really know how to feel right now.”

“I know. And I hate myself for it.” 

The brunette hears Dean take a deep breath. “I’m going to need some time.”

Aidan feels a knot forming in his throat, so he swallows tightly before speaking again. “Whatever you decide, I’m here for you,” he lifts his head to smile sweetly at Dean, “even if you only want to be friends after this… I’ll be honored to be your friend.” 

Their goodbye is strained and Aidan has to resist the urge to hug the kiwi. Dean sees him to the door.

The next few days are torture. They barely see each other. Dean doesn’t even text him anymore. And he doesn’t either out of respect to the blonds’ request for time— even if it’s slowly killing him. 

“How could you let this happen, Aidan? I know you’re a bit dense but even you could have seen it coming. You know what she’s like,” Adam pauses and stares at him, “Because you do, do you?”

Aidan doesn’t even know what Adam’s talking about. “I—I don’t know. I just thought she wanted to be friends. Well…she did kiss me. But then she apologized…”

“And you believed her,” Adam shakes his head while salting his salad. “Her devilish plans were more than obvious, Aid.” 

“Oh, right, I forgot you hated her,” he replies around a mouthful of chips.

“With reason: She’s fake, obnoxious, shallow, and rude. She was always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. And she bullied me and Steven if you don’t remember, in her _I’m beautiful so everything I do is right_ kind of way, thinking herself funny or something.

“What? Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Adam nods.

“Why did you pretend to like her, then, doesn’t that make you a fake as well?” Aidan teases. 

“I never did such thing, believe me. Liz’s just so full of herself that she thinks everybody worships her, no matter how snappy or short you are with her.”

“Well, no matter how she’s _like_ , it wasn’t her fault. I was the idiot.”

“No one’s arguing with that,” Adam says matter-of-factly.

Aidan deflates. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Dean’s been avoiding me like the plague, he’s not letting anything on but—I’m scared he’s going to break up with me.”

“Don’t say that. He’s hurt, it’s normal I guess; just give him his space and time and he’ll come around.”

“You really think so?” Aidan asks hopefully. 

“Yes, I do.”

His phone vibrates with a message and his heart rate picks up speed at the otherwise innocent phrase. _I get off work at eight. Can you pick me up?_   
He’s never been more scared in his life.

—————————————

Aidan has given him time enough to think. A whole week to be precise and it’s been extremely hard on him, especially on the few occasions when he actually saw Aidan. The Irishman seemed so insecure and edgy, like he could sense what Dean was planning but didn’t dare to ask for fear of the answer. But Dean wasn’t ready to let Aidan know yet, mainly because he was starting to have serious doubts about his decision. But the more he pondered the idea of going back home, the stronger his resolve got. 

When he sees Aidan’s truck parked in the curve his stomach gives a leap and his lips curve up in a smile. 

“Hey,” Aidan greets him with an awkward smile as he sits inside the vehicle, expectant, unsure of how to approach him. “How was your day?”

“Tiring, long. Yours?” he asks, resisting the urge to lean closer to the brunette and steal a kiss. Dean’s starting to crave the Irishman’s hands and lips on his skin desperately, but the Irishman has barely touched him at all these past days. It’s as though Aidan’s afraid of making a wrong move and he hates it. 

“It was good. I had lunch with Adam, actually. He sends his love.” Aidan says, driving off. Dean smiles at that. A couple of minutes later—filled with heavy silence— Aidan speaks again. “I miss you.”

Dean studies the brunette closely, taking advantage of Aidan’s duty to keep eyes on the road. “I miss you too,” he says. And he does. More than he wants to admit.

Aidan smiles at that, stealing a glance his way. An honest, bright smile and Dean realizes how much he’s missed those.

“Maybe we could do something about it,” Aidan suggests, smiling sheepishly. “We could have dinner together tonight. We can cook. What do you think?”

It sounds divine. He can’t help but smile back and make his own suggestion. “And maybe after we eat it… you can spend the night.”

Aidan briefly meets his eyes, then back at the road. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

They don’t make dinner. They have to order take out since the minute they enter the apartment, Dean’s all over Aidan. They both are all over each other, giggling like mad as they make their way to Dean’s bedroom, jabbing their sides with doorknobs and tripping on the carpet— well, Aidan is the one tripping— Dean’s legs are wrapped tightly around Aidan’s waist, struggling no to slide off his boyfriend, all the while telling the Irishman about all the times he masturbated during the week thinking about him and how much he needs him inside him or else he’ll go mad. 

———————————————

Aidan puts on the condom he’s fished out of Dean’s nightstand, and the lube along with it. It makes him smile how he knows how to find everything in Dean’s apartment by now. 

He doesn’t want to voice his concerns to the kiwi and ruin the moment, for he too is desperate for this, but what worries Aidan the most is how Dean is clearly avoiding the subject.

“Hurry up!”

“I am,” Aidan shoots back, just when he inserts a finger inside a writhing Dean. The sinful moan that follows makes his cock painfully hard. 

Hands grip his shoulders when Dean sits up and attempts to get Aidan’s, by now, two fingers deeper. “More,” he demands and Aidan has to push the kiwi down on the bed or they’ll both end up on the floor. 

“I will, babe, stop fidgeting,” Aidan breathes out a laugh when Dean offers him a cute pout.

“Come on,” Dean insists and grabs Aidan by the shirt, pulling him on top of his body. 

“Okay,” he says, and lubes Dean’s hole gently with three fingers, caressing golden strands with is free hand and kissing Dean on the lips. It’s a wet, loud kiss and they both smile into it. 

“Ready?”

At the kiwi’s eager nod, Aidan enters him slowly, both moaning loudly at the sensation. It’s tight and hot and they’re both impatient, so in not time, Aidan is sliding in and out of Dean with long, powerful and well aimed thrusts, each eliciting a high pitched yelp from Dean. “There! Right there, Aidan! Harder!”

And Aidan complies, however mindful not to take it too far and end up hurting the kiwi. 

Dean comes first, for he’d been pumping his own dick fervently, desperate for release, so when Aidan feels the tightness increasing, he jumps over the edge, letting out an animalistic groan. 

“That was—that was something else,” Dean says out of breath. The kiwi’s blue eyes are half-lidded and a lazy smile adorns his pink lips. “I think you’ve damaged me.”

Aidan pulls out gently and practically collapses beside Dean, barely missing the kiwi. “Don’t even say that as a joke,” he says smiling, but very seriously. “You’re joking, right?”

“I’ll no doubt sport a limp for a few days,” Dean says, ignoring Aidan, “and when they ask me at the café what happened, I’ll just tell them my boyfriend fucked me too hard.”

“You’re crazy,” Aidan laughs, but doesn’t miss the _boyfriend_ tag. 

Dean looks at him thoughtfully. “Even the customers will notice.”

Aidan snorts and leans closer to kiss Dean on the lips. “Babe, I think it’s time for you to go to sleep.” 

There’s a pause before Dean looks at him with puppy-eyes. “Cuddle me?” 

“Of course. Come here.”

When he wakes up, the first thing Aidan becomes aware of is the warmth of a body next to him and it brings a smile to his face. Dean is still wrapped around his torso, exactly in the way they fell asleep; blond curls tickling his nose. Aidan inhales deeply on Dean’s scent, sighing contentedly. 

He wants to make the kiwi breakfast, but that would mean waking Dean and he wants to enjoy this moment to the last second. And he does, until almost an hour later when Dean starts to stir awake, making cute little noises as he hugs Aidan tighter without opening his eyes.

“Hey,” he says and Dean looks up at him, cracking just one eye open and smiling sweetly. 

“Good morning. I missed this.”

“Me too,” he answers and kisses Dean’s brow. “Tell you what, you stay here all tucked up while I go to the kitchen and make us some breakfast, sound okay?”

A hum and a nod is all the answer the Irishman needs to set in motion. He makes pancakes with blueberry jam, scrambled eggs and coffee. They devour it, Dean way faster since Aidan’s busy observing Dean’s every little action carefully, taking pleasure in seeing the blond so at ease around him again after a week of suffering and uncertainty, so he takes his time admiring how the blond scrunches up his nose every time he laughs, or how his eyes catch the sunlight and seem almost transparent blue, revealing every little detail of his iris, or the way he so openly stares at him with that amused glint to them. 

He dreads the answer, but he has to ask. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean asks. They’ve decided to stay for a while longer in bed, so they are now lying side by side. Aidan caresses the kiwi’s tummy through his white shirt; head propped up on his left elbow as he continues to admire the blond lying beside him.

“I hate to disturb this blissful moment, but I got to know…what did you decide this past week? Are we still…we?”

Dean looks at him and seems to be studying each one of his facial features. “Yes. But—I want us to take it slow.”

Aidan smirks. “Like last night?”

Dean blushes. “Um—we can still have sex, but…”

“But?” Aidan encourages, even if he’s afraid to hear it.

“I need time if I am to trust you again,” Dean ends.

“I understand,” Aidan nods, looking down. “Can I still call you my boyfriend?” He has to glance at Dean to know the answer. The kiwi is smiling at him and replies with a tiny nod. 

His soul returns to his body and shows the blond a broad smile; tension leaving his shoulders. Aidan leans down to plant a kiss in those inviting, pink lips. “Okay.”

After a while more of kissing, they get up and shower together, leading to them masturbating each other under the hot water, moaning the other’s name - voices filled with passion.

Once dressed, Aidan asks. “So…do you want to do something today?” 

Dean looks at him, considering. “What have you got in mind?”

————————————

It’s a small forest to the west of the city, only a forty minutes ride away so they make it there by lunchtime.

It’s beautiful out there. A walk through lush forests and carpets of bluebells are exactly what the blond needed to clear his head and he feels better than he’s felt all week. Aidan’s being a real sweetie and he can’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive… Or he would if he wasn’t feeling so damn guilty, for being outdoors remind Dean of home and his decision— He doesn’t even want to think about what Aidan’s reaction will be when he tells him. 

It’s sunny but chilly so they wrap their scarves tightly around their necks. They brought hot coffee and sandwiches for lunch, and a blanket to lie down. And that’s the first thing they do, lying flat on their backs to stare at the view above. The sunlight streaming through the leaves and branches above makes Dean smile. It indeed is a beautiful sight. 

“This is beautiful,” he says, stretching like a cat, enjoying the warmth rays on his face.

“I thought you’d enjoy it,” Aidan sighs and folds his arms behind his neck.

Dean smiles looking at Aidan and sitting up, he maneuvers himself until he’s seated comfortably on the brunettes’ lap; camera in both hands and smiling mischievously. “I’m going to snap thousands of pictures of you now and you won’t be able to do anything to stop me. You’re completely at my mercy.”

“Uh…I kinda like that,” Aidan smiles and starts rubbing Dean’s thighs sensuously. 

The blond snaps picture after picture of the brunette underneath, wiggling his butt from time to time to make the Aidan laugh. “Yeah, that’s it. Yeah, you look so good.”

“Stop it,” Aidan says bashfully and swats Dean in the thigh playfully. “You are making me blush.”

“Even better!” Dean exclaims from behind the camera. 

“This was a mistake!” Aidan yelps in jest, covering his face with his arms.

A few more shots and the blond finally lowers the camera down, smiling triumphantly. “Every artist has to have a muse…and I think I’ve found mine.”

“I’m your muse now?” Dean nods. “Okay, that’s flattering. Now gimme here, it’s my turn.”

Dean slides from Aidan’s lap to sit on the far corner of the blanket. “No thanks. Unless it’s a photo of the two together, I rather stay behind the camera.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’s only fair I get to capture the beauty that is you,” Aidan insists, sitting up.

Dean snorts and continues to fumble with the camera. “I’m not photogenic. So no, thank you.”

“I find that a little bit hard to believe. C’mon. Just one,” Aidan pushes but Dean shakes his head. “Okay…then I’ll just wait until you fall asleep tonight to take pictures of just you.”

“Don’t you even dare,” Dean threatens in jest. 

Aidan reaches Dean’s middle and pulls him closer and kisses his nose. “You can’t stop me.”

“Wait. Why am I even worried?” Dean disentangles himself from Aidan’s lose grasp, “I’d like to see you trying to stay up.”

“I think you’ve seen it more than enough times,” Aidan says suggestively. It takes a couple of seconds for Dean to get it and Aidan bursts out laughing. “You are too cute.”

“Shut up,” Dean whines and pushes Aidan until he’s flat on his back, draping himself over the brunette and capturing his smiling lips in a tender kiss. The brunette’s hands instinctively find Dean’s bum.

“I missed this squishy thing.”

“I missed kissing you.” 

They deepen the kiss. Dean’s fingers tangle themselves in Aidan’s soft curls while the Irishman’s hands caress up and down the blonds’ back, hugging his boyfriend impossibly closer.

“Thank you,” Aidan whispers against Dean’s temple.

“For what?” the blond asks in confusion.

“You know what…”

“Uh—am I supposed to?”

“For forgiving me, dummy. I don’t deserve it, but thank you. I´ll make it up to you. In fact…”

Dean frowns, but moves out of the way when Aidan attempts to sit up and reaches for his bag and starts looking for something in one of the front pockets.

“Would you go with me to Ireland next weekend?” Aidan asks as if it’s nothing, holding two plane tickets to Dublin.

“What?!” Dean exclaims, taking the tickets from Aidan’s hands. “Are you kidding me?”

“Nope. Unless you don’t want to, then I’m kidding,” Aidan jokes.

“Aidan, this is…”

“Awesome… I hope?”

“Yeah!” Dean nods enthusiastically. “Do I get to meet your parents and all?”

Aidan hesitates, “Well…yes.”

“Oh,” the blond says. “They don’t know.”   
“I haven’t personally told them but... they probably know by now.”

Dean gives the brunette a guilty look. “Oh, no. it’s my fault. I posted those photos…and our relationship status…”

“It’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you. Well, I didn’t give it much thought at the time. It’s not like they have facebook, but you know how news fly these days. I don’t know how they’re going to take it. I’m scared.”

Dean scoots closer and wraps an arm around Aidan. “Sadly, I’m not the right person to offer any form of comfort on this... But it could go well. Do you think it can?”

Aidan ponders the thought. “I don’t know. But I know I want to tell them. And I want them to meet you.”

“As you boyfriend?” Dean shyly asks, studying his nails.

Aidan takes a moment to answer. Finally, he takes a deep breath. “Yes. No matter what happens, I want them to know who you are.”

Dean smiles and kisses Aidan’s cheek. He would love to be able to do the same with his own parents.

They make it to Dean’s apartment at around eight, chilled to the bone.

“I need a hot shower and then get in bed immediately,” Dean informs Aidan and leans heavily against the brunette. 

“Okay.” Aidan says and kisses the top of his head. “Go. I’ll make tea.”

“Thank you,” Dean says and hurries down the hallway.

“You mind if I check my emails? I’ve got a missed call and it could be a client trying to get in touch. It’s too late to call them now.”

“Sure,” Dean calls from his bedroom.

Aidan puts the kettle on and then flops down on the couch while the water boils. He opens Dean’s laptop and he’s about to open a new tab but the flights to New Zealand offers are a bit too hard to pass up. 

—————————————————— 

The hot water soothes his —aching from the cold—limbs. It was a fairly sunny day but cold none the less, and even though they were able to enjoy most of the slight warm the sun provided, by sunset, not even wrapping themselves in the blanket, Aidan’s body against his back, and hot coffee, could keep the chill at bay. But no matter the chill, it was a perfect day. He had tons of shots he wanted to throw himself headfirst into editing tonight. He’d already picked out his favorites, all of them together. His absolute favorite, though, was the one where Aidan was supporting himself on his right arm, leaning against a beautiful oak tree, smoking a cigarette and staring at the camera sideways. The camera truly loved Aidan; the brunette had to practically beg Dean to stop once he’d gotten into the zone. 

He steps out of the shower and without the water running drowning every noise, the kiwi can clearly hear the kettle screeching for attention.

“Aidan? The kettle!”

“Oh, shit!” Dean hears Aidan curse from the kitchen and breathes out a laugh as he runs the towel through his wet hair. He hastily puts on his comfy clothes and exits the steamy room to go to the kitchen.

Aidan’s standing in the middle of it looking kind of lost, holding two mugs in his hands. 

“I can do it if you want,” Dean says, taking the mugs from Aidan’s hands. “Are you’re hungry? I can make something if you are. I wouldn’t mind eating either.” The brunette doesn’t answer right away so Dean searches the brunette’s face expectant. “Aid?”

“What? Oh—yeah…um…what?”

“I said—do you want to eat something?”

“Um…I don’t know.”

“Because I don’t mind making it…” Dean says then pauses. “Are you okay?”

“Oh—yeah,” Aidan replies, toying with the sugar pot lid. 

Dean observes his boyfriend out of the corner of his eyes while he pours tea on both mugs. There’s evidently something bothering the younger man. “Aidan, what’s wrong?” 

Aidan shakes his head, but after a few seconds, he asks. “Are you planning on going back to New Zealand?”

Dean stops pouring hot water midway. _Shit._


End file.
